english-humor

Title :: Nightmares, Teddy Bears and Feels by InnocencePoisoned

Word count :: 9,013

Chapters :: 1/1

Rating :: Mature

Relationships :: Nesta/Cassian

Characters :: Nesta, Cassian, Azriel, Elain

Additional Tags :: Fluff, Wings, Wingspan jokes, bad language,Swearing, Sleeping Together, Literal Sleeping Together, Totally friendly way, Light Angst, Attempt at Humor

Language :: English

Summary :: Nesta is having nightmares and decides that sleeping with Cassian (literal sleeping) will help chase them away. It works but comes with unexpected feelings and awkwardness.

Alternatively,

“I know of a way that should work. But you won’t like it.”
“I’ll do anything.”
“Sleep with Cassian.”
“Except that. What the fuck, Azriel?”

Part 1 of Nessian- Teddy Bear Files

you: intellectuals think the same as everyone else, they just talk differently.

me, an intellectual: Although academic English is well-adapted to the low-context culture in which it is used, its inherent qualities are not sufficient to justify its relative inaccessibility; its use can only be explained as an expression of social status.

4

L’APPEL DU VIDE - (luh-pel du veed) - phrase

Definition:

  • the urge to engage in or contemplate self-destructive or suicidal behaviors, such as jumping off a cliff or driving into oncoming traffic
  • French, literally “the call of the void’

Stovenly thinks:

  • is this like when I look at a stack of pepperoni pizzas and consider eating them all
  • or is that l’appel du cheese
Things My High School AP English Teacher Said

“I… don’t know how to say this appropriately… but a lot of the time, you will just trick-fuck yourself.”

‎"Jack, pull up your pants. There needs to be two layers of cotton between your butt and my eyes at all times.“

‎” Every now and then i wake up naked in a cow field with my arms stretched to the stars, hours of my life missing!“

"You really do know where Waldo is.”

“Does that make sense? Fan…TASTIC.”

Student: “Ah, I knew we had a test today I just didnt write it in my fucking planner!” Cousineau: “Well perhaps if you kept your school planner separate from your fucking planner you would know what was going on.”

‎"I’m sorry the only bunion I know is Paul.“

‎"I’m not completely off my rocker, just mostly…”

“At least that chapstick is medicated. I mean think about it, wouldn’t you want to be medicated if you were chapstick?”

‎"You’re not real, you’re just a figment of my imagination.“

"I especially don’t like to be wrong behind my back.”

“It’s out there, like cancer. We’re going to have to deal with it sometime.”

‎"I’m sorry, but this work thing is really interfering with my Facebook abilities.“ 

"Alright, on to the next question. Oh wait, you have the questions, I have the answers.”

“Oh, your translation doesn’t have it? I’ll be alright, I have a bagel.”

“Ooh! Seattle’s Beast! I love their coffee!”

“I will belittle who I choose!”

“There is no motion, you are always in the same place at the same time. Motion is nothing but perception.”

“I, in a spontaneous fit brought on by quotidian boredom, threw pen at Johnnie square face.” (Meant to say “square IN THE face”)

“Without falsetto, there would be no ‘80s.”

“I’m deciding how little of a shit I give…and I’ve decided that I don’t give enough of a shit to raise a flower.”

“I didn’t know the pool exercised. Do you think it swims?”

 

what the signs are doing right now
  • Aries: watching stydia videos
  • Taurus: looking for stydia related posts
  • Gemini: crying because of stydia
  • Cancer: trying to find a stydia icon
  • Leo: fangirling with their stydia friend over stydia
  • Virgo: screaming at jeff to make stydia endgame
  • Libra: is in the biggest stydia mood they've been in months
  • Scorpio: convincing antis that stydia is better
  • Sagittarius: listening to stydia songs
  • Capricorn: making up headcanons about stydia
  • Aquarius: rewatching teen wolf episodes to find every single little thing to prove stydia is real
  • Pisces: talking about stydia
vine

SANTA IS REAL AND HIS NAME IS TOBYFOX

10

BEHOOOOOLD, MY UNDERTALE AU.

Weeabootale. The AU where (almost) everyone is a super kawaii weeaboo desu.

This is actually a troll AU. A joke.

I think we can all agree to say that… huh… Undertale has a loooooot of AUs. So I decided to make a joke about it by making a troll AU parodying the cringy undertale fandom- (not that the undertale fans are weeaboos, but… Ya know, bad ships, hypes, undertail and all…. I wanted to parody that.)

Don’t get me wrong, I do not hate AUs. I’m actually in love with some of them (for exemple Horrortale, Underfresh, Undynetale & Jerrytale xD)

And I also don’t want to criticize weeaboos trought this AU. I took this theme absolutly randomly. And since I love parodying animes and all, I thought it would be a good theme for me xD so yeah, if you’re an anime lover, don’t be offenced by this! I don’t hate you! I love you!;3

This introduction comic is so wrong and offencive omg. Please don’t be offenced by this. It’s really all a joke omg don’t kill me.

I guess I forgot the word “offencive” in the introduction gif.

Offencive and gross.

WEEABOOTALE. THE OFFENCIVE AND GROSS AU WHERE THE RESPECT IS DEAD.*explosion*

ok I gotta shut up now. This post is getting too long.

I wasn’t gonna post any weeabootale on tumblr, but since my friend @3demonicangel posted a weeabootale fanart here, I thought I needed to introduce it.xD (PLEASE GO FOLLOW HER!! it’s her birthday today!! ;w;)

btw if you’re wondering, YES, I made everyone in this AU. Everyone.

Even Jerry.

BD


Ah, and sorry for all those english mistakes… I’m french so english isn’t my native language ;w; I was also typing very fast… (for exemple of course I wanted to write “partner” instead or “parnter”….) I’ll try to fix those mistakes asap if I can TT///TT

read from left to right please. As much as it’s “weeabootale”, it’s not writen in the manga order lel.

gif, y u no work on phones. *cries*