english language jokes

me as a child, purposefully keeping my eyes open on wash day because my mom bought tear free shampoo:

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me 3 seconds later learning the english language is a fucking joke:

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“eunwoo is more than just a pretty face” i say into the mic.

the crowd is silent. they are struck with horror at such a statement. i begin to walk off stage in shame.

“it’s true”, they say. i look for the owner of the voice. there in the 3rd row stands: literally anyone with more than just a pair of eyes and the greedy desire to meet someone famous and some actual taste in a quality man with many talents and much personality,

terezi: 1 B3T 1 C4N M4K3 YOU S4Y “R3D”

john: what?

terezi: 1 B3T 1 C4N M4K3 YOU S4Y TH3 WORD “R3D”!!

john: why do you want me to say “red”?

terezi: 1 ST1LL B3T 1 COULD M4K3 YOU S4Y 1T

john: i just said it, though.

terezi:

john:

terezi:

john:

terezi: …T4SK F41L3D SUCC3SSFULLY!

Learning English as an Arabic speaker

Me : are you telling me that all I need to do is just add an “s” to the word to make it plural?

Teacher : yes

Me, in tears : beautiful

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burroughs will remember that. this is what happens when linh and i talk headcanons. 

sketchy comic about the language barriers between all the competitors in megalo box + it’s all yuri’s fault 

bonus: joe is completely fluent in spanish 

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