england expects that every man will do his duty

Brief summary of the beginning of the XIX century and the Napoleonic wars: (Spanish Perspective)
  • Spain: *is under a useless and spineless government*
  • France (Napoleon) to the Spanish government: Spain help us or we'll invade you.
  • Literally everybody in Spain: *side-eyeing PM Godoy* Bitch don't you dare.
  • Spanish Government (Godoy mostly): Okay Mr. Napoleon
  • Literally everybody in Spain: The bitch did dare!
  • *
  • France: Make sure for us Portugal doesn't help Britain or we'll invade you both.
  • Spain: OK *does the oranges "war" thing*
  • Portugal: *Shows up late with coffee* What?
  • *
  • ~Stuff happening in the Americas that nobody actually cares about that much~
  • *
  • BATTLE OF TRAFALGAR:
  • France: Spain, we need your navy to help us invade Britain.
  • Spain: Do we have to?
  • France: I'm sending over Admiral Villeneuve to command our combined fleet.
  • Villeneuve: I'm in charge. You'll do as I say
  • Spanish Admiral Gravina: But I know these waters, I know my fleet and how the British fight at sea I know... wait... no... don't do that... you are useless.
  • Villeneuve: I AM IN CHARGE NAPOLEON SAID SO
  • Villeneuve: *is useless*
  • Admiral Horatio Nelson: "England expects that every man will do his duty"
  • Villeneuve: *still useless*
  • Gravina: We are so fucked.
  • Spanish/French fleet: *is fucked*
  • *
  • Britain to Spain: You have a problem dude.
  • Spain: No shit! *has a list*
  • *
  • PENINSULAR WAR:
  • France: Well now I'm gonna invade Portugal. Let me through.
  • France: Invades Spain now that they are at it and puts Napoleon's brother as King.
  • Spanish People: NOW YOU'VE DONE IT BITCH *invent guerrillas*
  • Britain, Portugal & CO.: Here. We're gonna help.
  • Spain: Thanks guys, but can the helping involve less trashing around maybe?
  • Everybody: Trashes around, burns everything to the ground, steals chickens.
  • Spain: THAT'S IT!!! EVERYBODY OUT!!! EVERYBODY FOR FUCK'S SAKE! AND FRANCE THE FIRST ONE LEAVE ME IN PEACE YOU BAGUETTE PIECE OF S***
  • Ordinary people with pitchforks: Throw Napoleon's army out.
  • *
  • AFTERMATH:
  • Spain: I'm so... fucking tired... just... let me rest in piece... for a while. Just a little
  • Immediate internal and colonial conflicts: Hi :)
  • Spain: T_T