ENFP - ISTJ Duality
Excerpt of Socionics Duality description. This was originally a Russian Socionics article, but for ease of understanding have used the most closely corresponding MBTI types in the text.
ENFP (ENFp, IEE, Ne-Fi): ENFP, thanks to his imaginative inclinations, seems like a lively and nonchalant person. He is actually very inquisitive, trying to gain insight into complex and hidden processes and phenomena, in search of eternal truths. He readily sees the shortcomings of other people and imperfections of the surrounding world, constantly analyzes his own feelings and attitudes and those of others. This is a very insightful man who hates falsehood and hypocrisy. He needs a partner endowed with such ethical qualities that he can permanently keep his respect and sympathy.
He enjoys interacting with others. Often very curious, but does not like to waste time on people who do not bring new information. Admires talented, original, erudite and multifaceted people. He is attracted to insecure people with undiscovered and undisclosed talents. Willingly helps them and instills confidence in their abilities and capabilities, generously gives compliments. His partner must strive to further develop his talents and abilities, otherwise it will be difficult to maintain the interest of ENFP.
ENFP likes diversity, change, travel. His restless, imaginative nature constantly needs new experiences, as well as interesting and challenging problems and tasks. He needs someone to inspire, to enthrall with his ideas. Often he doesn’t have the patience to finish what he was working on. Therefore, he needs a partner who is responsible, serious, reliable and hardworking.
ENFP cannot easily focus on the primary over the secondary – he gets easily distracted, thus risking to overload himself with his hobbies, work and social contacts. He does not know how to plan and rarely finishes things on time. ISTJ plans out his work, divides it into steps, takes over routine operations and works on the specifics. He gives advice to ENFP when, to what measure, and in which sequence he needs to carry out the steps, what needs to be done first and what can be done later.
For ENFP is difficult to fulfill his promises, to do exactly what he has promised and do it on time, to scrupulously engage in tedious, uninteresting, but necessary work. ISTJ can provide effective assistance to ENFP on any such job, and even take on full responsibility. ENFP is in need of someone who could smooth and polish his methods and do it in the form of caring and unobtrusive guidance. Without his dual, ENFP can earn the reputation of an irresponsible and frivolous person, if not a shirker. Together with his dual he feels secure and is not afraid of any difficulties.
Another problem of ENFP is that he likes to win over love. Striving to win another person’s heart, he aspires to have a relationship of heart, mind, and soul rather than a purely physical one. This leads to many misunderstandings with those whom he has conquered, for he often loses interest in them if they have failed to win his sincere interest and his friendship. Few remain more needed for him than an already read book. He finds the most appeal in a modest, interesting, and discreet person, who would allow ENFP to take the initiative within their relationship.
ISTJ (ISTp, SLI, Si-Fe): ISTJ is a person who combines qualities of both a pragmatic and an inventive personality and who strives for self-improvement. He is active, mobile, doesn’t shy away from labor, enjoys physical activity. Prefers to do things with his own hands instead of relying on others. He dislikes forcing people to do something against their will, believing that this should be up to their conscience and freedom of choice. He is uncompromising with those who try to impose their own vision of things and methods. Enjoys taking care of those who are less adapted to life than him.
As a realist and a skeptic, ISTJ often doesn’t easily see ways out of difficult situations. In midst of routine, his vitality and productivity diminish, and apathy often overtakes him. Though, in critical situations, he quickly mobilizes and displays remarkable resolve and energy. Consequently he has a need for novel impressions and moral support - his needs a partner who would relieve him from a sense of banality and futility and bring some romance and warmth into the relationship.
Prone to melancholy, ISTJ especially needs his companion to be in an optimistic mood, at least outwardly. He is suspicious and afraid of unforeseen circumstances. Therefore, his dual must constantly talk about what’s happening around them, what surprising things may occur, how to prepare for them or prevent them, and which worries and fears are groundless. ISTJ doesn’t easily forecast events, thus he needs to know what lies ahead, what are the possible outcomes of a particular path of action. He himself finds it difficult to see prospects and future unfolding of the events.
ISTJ is characterized by a measure of self-doubt and inertia, which may become especially evident in those situations which require him to display his abilities. He needs to be inspired and mobilized for new undertakings, for which he is always ready in his heart. The main thing for him is to believe in the benefit and success of the job, and ENFP is very convincing in such cases. In this dyad, ENFP deals with the long-term goals and potential outcomes, while ISTJ methodically and persistently implements the plans, working patiently and carefully. ISTJ strives to improve his skills and qualifications, with which he inspires admiration in his dual. Sharp criticism could lead to ISTJ simply giving up, because he will not try to prove anything to those who do not believe in him. Sincere praises of ENFP mobilize his partner, give him the assurance that everything is going as it should.
If his partner violates and upsets the inner state of ISTJ, which is so difficult for him to maintain, his offense can be so great that he will distance from such a person. He needs someone who will create safe space for his emotions, who will try to dispel his doubts and mitigate his internal conflicts, rather than sharpen them.
Terms of Dualization:
1. ENFP suffers from a lack of organization and discipline. He is sometimes characterized by an excessive temper and stubbornness. He is often impatient, unobservant of established rules and order, and can react violently to reprimands. His partner should be a lenient and patient person, who respects the independence of another. He exerts influence on ENFP only by his own participation, skillfully coordinating the actions of his partner and coolly perceiving his emotional outbursts. Gently and with humor ISTJ dampens the emotional outbursts of his dual, shows benevolence towards his shortcomings, and forgives him a lot due to ENFP’s spontaneity, informality, and a large array of abilities, which are very appreciated.
2. ISTJ is so dependent on his sensory impressions, brought about by the imperfection the surrounding world, that in order to find an approach to him, you must first locate and remove these negative influences that adversely impact his mood. His dual is very responsive to another’s pain, is able to understand and console his companion. His sincerity predisposes to mutual trust, while his constant readiness to go towards the new and the unknown inspires confidence in the success of joint ventures. ENFP quickly removes the skepticism and lack of confidence in his partner.
3 . ISTJ delights ENFP with his ability to solve any practical problems, his practical acumen and ability to arrange everything around hims for rational management, wholesome rest, convenience, for benefit of the health of his loved ones. ENFP complements his partner with his ingenuity, his vision of new prospects and opportunities. He brings to life of ISTJ elements of novelty and unpredictability, suggests solutions and ways out of tricky situations. ENFP, creates the atmosphere of trust, freedom and ease, which his dual needs.
4. Emotionally, it is quite a contrasting pair: undemonstrative and cool, reserved, unemotional ISTJ and temperamental, spontaneous, and forthright ENFP. The famous song by A. Pugacheva describes this pair:
“I forget about everything in the world when I am with you,
And jump head first into love as into the sea.
You’re so cool – like an iceberg in the ocean,
With your sorrows underneath the dark waters … ”
Fickle by nature, easily carried away by new people, ENFP requires an interesting and mysterious partner, who needs to be won over his entire life. ISTJ is that fortress which needs to be conquered by continuous advance. Even when he loves, he often hides his feelings under the mask of coldness. He does not show jealousy, but instructs his lighthearted dual on his own example.
Their main value in life is harmony in all spheres of their lives and relations. And since this is no easy task, they often have a sense of dissatisfaction that leads them to actively seek ways to improve their perceptions. This pair is the most vulnerable one in entire socion, so great are its requirements and so finely developed the sense of harmony. The slightest dissonance in relationships with each other and others can plunge them into despair.
Routine often reduces their vitality. They both value their freedom and independence in making decisions. They feel well only when they have opportunities for creative work. Striving for perfection and harmony, constant development of their skills – this is their main stimulus in life. If harmony has not been achieved, they tend to react poorly to the slightest negative tones in their relations with others and other inconveniences of psychological and domestic kind.
The area of feelings and relations is the prerogative of the ENFP, while ISTJ is well-versed in the shades and tints of sensing side of the intimate life of this dyad. For him the one-sided joy of sex is inconceivable. Resonance of feelings and attitudes, ensured by ENFP, and of sexual sensations, which are polished and perfected by ISTJ, enrich their love life.
They become truly happy only when they can also achieve harmony of thoughts, activities, interests and aspirations – harmony of life material and immaterial. Only then their love strengthens. They cannot exist in an atmosphere of conflict and routine. Their love is fueled by mutual care, tact, responsiveness to the interests of each other, mutual improvement and instruction, new experiences in their lives. They need a lot to be happy, but if they can achieve all of it, their love approaches an ideal.