I never thought in a million years that my life would be how it is now. Im restricted to do things that I want to do. I never thought that I would feel the pain that I do, and I never thought that I would be as down as I am now. I just don’t feel like I’ve lived my life. backwards and forwards to the doctors & hospital, constantly on medication and treatments. and having to make decisions, when honestly, I have no idea what’s going on half the time, I don’t understand what certain things are, I just feel like I’m agreeing with them, because at the end of the day ‘they know best’. and they haven’t even done anything to help, they thing drugging you up is the best thing and that you’re going to feel better, but no. I feel like an old woman. I know that there are many people in the same position as me, but I feel so alone. I don’t know how to deal with something like this, I was not prepared for something like this. I wouldn’t ever wish this on anyone, but sometimes, just sometimes, I wish people would know how it feels. It’s always 'you don’t look ill’ or 'you’re fine’ well no I am not okay, it’s not what’s going on on the outside, it’s what’s going on in the inside. I get so frustrated, I think I expect people to understand, when the reality is, they never will, unless they’re going through it themselves. I just wish there was something someone could do to take it all away, and so I don’t have to worry about it. I feel like I’m repeating myself over and over again, and knowing that there’s nothing I can do, makes it ten times worse. eff you endometriosis.