endless self indulgence

headcanon where josh gets a dog!! and it becomes everyones child!!!

  • he is out with caspar when he sees it in the window of a pet store and it looks at him with sad puppy dog eyes and he just Stops
  • ‘caspar. i need to get that dog’ 
  • caspar is like ??? but then he sees it and hes like omg ok yes that dog is adorable you should get it but i dont think you should be supporting pet shops, animals shelters are better i watched a documentary once…
  • josh is already marching in the store.
  • he buys the puppy without a second thought
  • jack literally SQUEALS when josh brings home the puppy
  • conor is less sure about it (hes more of a cat person tbh) 
  • “we can name him panda, after your latest cover” jack suggests, grinning at conor
  • conor is completely sold
  • fast forward a week or two and the whole gang absolutely ADORES panda
  • oli always offers to baby sit him whenever josh and the maynards are out partying
  • joe and caspar always invites themselves over and take him for walks together while joe vlogs the whole thing
  • jack and josh always fight over having him sleep in their bed at night (one time they just sleep in the same bed together with panda in between them)
  • conor sings ‘panda’ everytime the puppy enters the room (also imagine them all hanging out together, yelling excitedly and singing ‘panda’ togeter at the top of their lungs when he enters the room) 
  • also joe and caspar are dating and have moved back in together and one day caspar also comes home with a puppy and joe is like ‘caspar what the fuCK’ 
  • ‘u love panda so much i thought we could get a dog of our own’
  • (both the puppy and caspar give joe puppy dog eyes but joe is all annoyed at caspar for making the decision to get a dog without him so he has to leave the room bc caspars puppy dog eyes make him Weak and hes not gonna give in godamMIT)
  • that night caspar finds joe sleeping in their bed with the puppy under his arm 
  • (the puppy dog eyes worked)
  • (they name her Lil-Lee) (lilly) 
Seriously. Tell me. I want to know.

Have we seriously gotten to the point that people living lifestyles that don’t involve eating with reckless abandon are considered to be anorexic? Really? Why the hell is it okay to shotgun milkshakes and take the bus three blocks, but it’s not okay to take care of yourself? How have we gotten to the point that endless self-indulgence is considered to be self-care, while green vegetables and regular exercise are considered to be the equivalent of self-flagellation?