endless puns

Our Time Is Endless - Olicity Soulmate Au One-shot

Title: Our Time Is Endless
Words: 6279
Rating: M
Summary: In a world where people stop aging at 18 until they bond with their soulmates, Felicity Smoak doubts whether she wants to have a relationship with her mate. It’s not because she wants to live through decades. It’s because she wants to spare herself the pain that comes when a mate leaves or dies. But then, Oliver Queen steps into the picture… Soulmate AU - Inspired a Tumblr post.

Since the fanfiction is too long, you can only read the first scene here.

AO3 link.

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4

aos au: endless skye + ward “quake puns”  [4/?] [officially approved by brett dalton]

rocked, faults 

Boyfriend Material (SugaHope)

Pairing: Yoonseok/SugaHope (Yoongi/Suga & Hoseok/J-Hope)
Rating: T
Genre: Fluff/Humor

Words: 2,614

Summary“It’s cotton,” Yoongi declares.

“Really? Because I think that it’s boyfriend material.”

In which Hoseok has an endless supply of cheesy puns that double as pick-up lines, Namjoon isn’t him helping at all, and Min Yoongi thinks he might just be losing his goddamn mind.

A/N: As always, Comments/Favs/Reblogs are appreciated~ <3 Enjoy!


When people ask Yoongi where he works he says that he works at a department store. When people ask where Yoongi works when Namjoon’s around, Namjoon interrupts him and says that Yoongi works in the women’s section of a department store.

Yoongi hates Namjoon.

…no he doesn’t, but he seriously wishes that Namjoon wouldn’t tell people that—even if it was the truth.

So yes, he works in the women’s department. Yes, it’s awkward when he has to take inventory on bras and panties. Yes, it’s infuriating when old women glare at him like he’s the lowest scum on the planet just because they spot him messing around in a section that he, as a guy, typically shouldn’t be in. But it’s his job, and he likes his paycheck, so he gets over their judgmental stares and does his job right.

Well…at least, that’s what he thinks until one day, Yoongi is faced with a new challenge. A man. A fucking batshit crazy man.

“Can I help you sir?” Yoongi says when he spots the black haired male looking through the racks of jeans in his section and the guy blinks innocently as he pulls a pair of jeans from the rack. He holds them up in front of him and looks them over thoroughly, Yoongi waiting impatiently, before he finally says, “Hey, can you try these on for me?”

Yoongi is appalled.

“Um, sir, those are women’s jeans, and I am I store employee, I can’t just—”

“I know,” the guy says, suddenly pouting from underneath his bangs, “but it says ‘boyfriend jeans’ and I want you to be my boyfriend, so I was hoping you’d try them on for me?”

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thelordvoldemort  asked:

I think you mean, intern Dex can never be cool again, period, thanks to intern Nursey. 😏

o damn you’re right……… his love is literally an eternal flame ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

wait no I can do better

intern dex is…. a flaming homosexual. he’s got a real fiery temper…. the hottest dude in town….. he & nursey just have this certain…….. spark……. you might even say dex lights up around him………… never gives him the cold shoulder  

Mistletoe

newtmas | 3.7k | xmas fluff

It’s Christmas, and Teresa is tired of her brother’s endless pining (pun fully intended). Featuring a Christmas party, eggnog, and a whole shit ton of mistletoe, Teresa gets what she wants.

Sort of.

written for the newmas mini mini winter bang, adorable art by @newtcrying can be found here!

(ao3)

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Undyne taking note of how Flowey treats Frisk much more nicely than he treats just about everyone else and realizing he has some feelings for the kid, and giving him a (friendly) hard time about it.

Alphys also taking note of Flowey’s little crush and outright calling him tsundere for insisting otherwise, much to his annoyance.

Sans driving the poor kid up the wall with endless puns about his “blossoming romance” and “budding feelings” to the point where Flowey would kill him if he had any less restraint.

Papyrus, being the sweetheart he is, tries to teach Flowey about dating by offering his dating manual and even puts together an allegedly cool and handsome outfit to wear when he dates Frisk.

Give me the sonflower being so bad at hiding his tsuntsun crush that everyone knows about it.

4

aos au: endless skye + ward “quake puns”  [3/?] - special thanks to halsteadsass

groundbreaking

  • Vader: [hears voices]
  • Vader: Great, the kid infected me with whatever he had!
  • Vader: [hears voices again]
  • Vader: Very funny, Kenobi. But I don't have time for you.
  • Vader: [still hears voices]
  • Vader: Listen to me you old fool. I have had it with-!
  • Vader: Y-you!!!!
  • [ghost] Dooku: Do you fear death?
  • Vader: Actually I pray for it every single day. Why the fuck are you here?
  • [ghost] Dooku: I got bored of Qui-Gon's endless puns.
2

Aaaand now I’m convinced that, on top of his crazed fans, crazier father and endless supply of puns, another thing Marinette is going to have to endure when she inevitably starts dating Adrien is his fixation with stealing/hiding her heels in an effort to save his beloved Lady from their cruel and unusual torture.

Marinette- Adrien, where did my black wedges go?

Adrien- ‘shifty-eyed’ I don’t know. Maybe Plagg took them?

Marinette- A D R I E N … 

Adrien- They’re evil, Mari! EVIL! Why would you subject yourself to that?!!! 

Sea of Confusion

Genre: FLUFFLUFF
Rating: G
Warnings: Brief alcohol mentions
Word count: 7.1k

Summary: Mermaid!Phil became a human to live with Dan, and sometimes life can get a little confusing.

Author’s note: This fic is one I made for the phanfic exchange and this is dedicated to iktwabrokenbone. I’ve been working on this fic for the longest time it seems like. I’d like to say thank you to holly for being a wonderful beta and mega-helpful advice giver, and a special thanks to Em for being the best brainstorm and fangirl buddy anyone could ask for (who provided me with endless puns and amazing ideas). Enjoy <3

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8

aos au: endless skye + ward “quake puns”  ft. the ot4 [7/?] aka that one au where fitz and ward engage in a pun off for shits and giggles and the girls cannot believe 

granted ward, what’s cracking, rock my world