The most important thing I have done for myself in the past year is stopping myself EVERY SINGLE TIME, I have a negative thought about another girl. “Those shorts are a little short for her to be wearing in …” No. She can wear WHATEVER she wants. “She is wearing so much makeup, she is trying too…” NO. I bet she feels like the prettiest girl in the world right now. Good for her! I am going to actively correct myself every time until the negative thoughts that happen almost as instinct change. The best place to start to end girl hate is with myself.
I’ve recently really embraced the notion of ending girl (-on-girl) hate and since I’ve made a conscious effort to stop feelings of envy and judgement, I’ve found that it’s instantly sparked this positivity in me. I keep seeing these amazing qualities every woman and I just want go tell you all exactly how amazing you are!!! Let’s do this girls, let’s end girl hate!
There has a bunch of things I’ve been seeing on the internet, and I’ve just gotten to the point where I HAVE to say something or it’s likely I’ll implode from staying quiet.
GIRLS WHO CALL OTHER GIRLS DEROGATORY NAMES (I.E. CUNT, SLUT, HOE) ARE A PROBLEM!
I am a feminist. I support equality of both men and women. It’s not something I post about often because it’s more of a self interest thing to me. I like looking into the research of it. Something I stumbled across in an article in Time magazine was a study seeing who on Twitter was using words like “rape”, “slut” or “whore” in a derogatory way against women. Accounts with male names used one of those words 116,530 times while accounts with female names did so 94,546 times.
LADIES!!!! COME ON!! I know we’ve all seen Mean Girls when Tina Fey’s character says “You have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores.”
Furthermore, these insults are not only putting down the women you’re using them against, but yourself. Calling another woman a “cunt”?
“Calling someone a girl is the worst thing you can say about someone, and objectifying him or her to a part of the female anatomy is downright abominable.Gendered insults are not a form of equality. Gendered insults perpetuate sexism because a male-based insult is the same as a “normal,” non-gendered insult, and a female-based insult is used to make the receiver of the insult a lower-class citizen.If everyone were to stop using gendered insults in general, it would be a step toward eliminating the discrimination and stigma regarding women and their lady parts. We would no longer be used as insults to degrade and (God forbid) lower the status of men.” -Lily Cain
On top of it all, I’ve been seeing women who are all about girl power and feminism, but turn around and call other females “sluts”, “hoes”, etc. You are sending out to the world a double standard and saying something about yourself as a person that while you support SOME women, you don’t support ALL WOMEN (the ones you don’t know, or don’t like).
We have to stick together, it’s a tough world out there for women as it is. It is not your place to judge someone (anyone, male or female) and their life choices and it is CERTAINLY not your place to say anything about it.
Stopping girl hate doesn’t mean you have to like or get along with every other woman. It simply means you don’t tear women down. It means you let go of your envy, internalized misogyny and hatred of other women.
I know a simple post won’t end Girl Hate, but I’m hoping to bring some awareness to women who do not support other women or bash other women.