end the fed!

5

eleanor guthrie walking into a room and having two grown ass men quivering in fear on the floor in under ten seconds is my aesthetic 🙌

grateful

Andrew is walking down the stairs from the roof of the building when he feels a subtle shift of movement behind him. He doesn’t even get a chance to turn before he’s on his face on the stairwell floor, one of his arms twisted behind him and a knee in the centre of his back.

It’s a poor showing. Apparently he has been getting slack.

“I’ve got Minyard,” a male voice says, and then the weight on his spine is gone.

There’s a crackle and a voice over a radio saying a quick affirmative. The name the voice uses -

- Josten.

Andrew rolls over. The man standing over him in a black bulletproof vest with FBI written on the front, gun in hand, doesn’t look like Andrew remembers. His face is badly scarred, blurring what was a tattoo under his eye into illegibility. The hair is shorter, cropped back, but the eyes are the same. So is the voice.

“Don’t stab me,” Neil Josten says. “I can’t imagine you’re unarmed.”

He’s not wrong. Andrew says, “What the fuck is going on?”

“Have you seen this man?” Neil asks, flashing Andrew a picture of a weedy dark-haired man in a Hawaiian shirt. It looks like it was taken off of a surveillance camera - the man is half-turned away and caught mid-step.

Andrew looks at the picture, and then at Neil. “Why?”

“Because I want to question him on his fashion choices,” Neil replies, dry as dust. “Why do you think?”

“I think I’ve never had a reason to help a cop in my life,” Andrew says. His voice comes out dead like it hasn’t in months.

Any humour in Neil’s face falls off. “Well, let’s see if I can make it worth your while. This man has already killed three professional sports people, and we think he’s targeting your team for his fourth kill. So, you should be grateful I found you first.”

Grateful. What a joke. 

“So. Have you seen this man?” Neil asks again, offering the photo again.

Kevin is downstairs in the room they’re sharing alone. Andrew needs to get back to him now. So, in the name of expediency -

“Yes,” he answers. “And so have you. He’s working security tonight for the hotel.”

Neil stares at him. After a moment, Andrew offers, faux-helpful, “He’s blonde now, and he’s ditched the shirt. I guess you didn’t recognise him.”

“Fuck,” Neil mutters, and reaches for the radio on the front of his vest. “Luka, Minyard says our suspect is working for the hotel as a guard. Check all the staff in the lobby against the photo, he’s dyed his hair.”

“Is Minyard sure?”

Neil looks at Andrew for a moment again as he says, “He has eidetic memory. He’s sure.”

“Affirmative. We’re searching now,” comes the reply. 

Neil drops his hand and says to Andrew, “I’ll escort you back to your room.”

“No,” Andrew replies, pushing himself up from the ground at last. Neil steps back out of reach as he does, untrusting. That’s the smartest thing he’s done tonight. 

“Are you that keen to get murdered?” Neil demands. “We haven’t caught the guy yet.”

“You won’t,” Andrew tells him. “I doubt he stuck around after all of you stormed in here in your uniforms. Guess I don’t have anything to worry about tonight after all.”

“I’m more likely to trust a clinical psychiatrist’s assessment of the suspect’s motivations and movements than a professional goalkeeper’s,” Neil replies. “You know I’m just going to follow you, right?”

Andrew ignores this as he rattles down the stairs. True to his word, Neil stays close but not too close, gun still in hand and still wary. He’s precisely the same kind of sharp he always was before, eyes cool and calm as he searches for a threat. Apparently you can make a career out of borderline hyper-vigilance after all. Not that a professional goalkeeper would know that when he saw it, apparently.

“Let me,” Neil says a second before Andrew ignores him and shoves first through the door onto his floor. Andrew hears him mutter, “fuck sake,” under his breath, clearly audible.

Andrew slides his key through the reader, and the light clicks green. Kevin looks up at him from where he’s sitting cross-legged on his bed restringing his racquet. Well, he’s certainly still alive then - if Andrew were a serial killer going after the Chicago Guards, he can’t think of many better players to target than Kevin Day.

Andrew steps through the gap in the door, using his body to block Kevin’s view out and Neil’s inside. “Goodbye.”

That word tastes like finality. He takes a last look at Neil with his silvering scars - that burn must have been nasty - and his fingerless tactical gloves and the gun he carries with the air of long experience. Different and the same. Andrew taste the end and, underneath it, anger, familiar.

“Andrew,” Neil says, and then pauses. It looks like his words are jamming in his throat through uncertainty, like he doesn’t know what to say or maybe doesn’t know how Andrew will react. Andrew hates that he recognises that expression. 

You were amazing.

“Fuck off,” he replies, and slams the door in Neil’s face.

Neil Josten is supposed to have a new name. Neil Josten is supposed to be a million miles from Andrew after going into hiding with Witness Protection. Neil Josten certainly isn’t meant to be a fucking agent for the FBI.

Neil Josten also isn’t meant to look at Andrew like he knows him. He should be grateful Andrew didn’t cut that off of his face.

ARSENIC AND OLD LACE!!!!!!!!!

CHASE REALLY LIKES GERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KAROLINA AND MOLLY’S COMIC OUTFITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NICO KISSED KAROLINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EVERYONE SPOONING IN THE VAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NO ONES A MOLE YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THAT COMIC BOOK TIE IN ENDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAVE JUST BEEN FED A FULL COURSE MEAL ON THIS DAY

anonymous asked:

What kind of parents do u think dip & flip would b seriously? Like they just adopted a baby & then what?

Sjdifjfgnn omg thank you for indulging this bc I think about this so fucking often and I talk to Roo about it and shit ok here we go

So I’m gonna start with phil. I think he would be a really great dad, good listener, super supportive of his kid, but completely unable to say no. Like he and Dan would have almost a good cop bad cop dynamic bc Phil just couldn’t deny their kid anything. He would spoil that kid to hell and back. He’d be the softie that let the kid and the dog both sleep in bed with him and dan bc of nightmares for nights on end and Dan would get fed up with it bc he misses his husband’s hot bod. And I feel like he’s the type to make like, dumb shit for their kid that the kid would grow out of in .5 seconds? Like he would buy a custom onesie that says “I love my dads” on it or some shit bc he’s gross like that. He would also be the parent to plan giant birthday parties and stuff, and just like, really extravagant stuff, bc he loves his kid so much.

Now Dan. I think he would, like I said, have to be more of a disciplinarian with the kid. Like he’d lay down the law when they draw on the walls or try to ride the dog into battle while Phil would be standing by taking pictures. But Dan would also be so so gentle. Like if they had a girl, he would learn how to braid so he could plait her hair for her for school. And he would make lunch for their kid every day and cut the sandwiches into whatever shapes the kid wanted even if it wasn’t practical (“triangles or squares baby?” “Circles” “Okay can do”). And I think a kid would bring him and Phil even closer, strengthen their relationship bc they’re such a good team

Ty for coming to my ted talk

jealous!richie

a/n: boy i had to write this before i went to work for a few hours, enjoy!

  • eddie is richie’s best friend and his crush. in his mind, he has dibs on eddie
  • he’s just.. yknow. a mess who don’t know how to voice this to eddie
  • so shit gets real when oc levi comes out of buck fucking nowhere and takes a liking to eddie
  • levi is a tall, lanky and annoying gay man who transferred to the school
  • richie pm
  • and he sits next to richie and eddie in history class and flirts?? nonstop?? with a blushing eddie
  • eddie’s not used to this (well he is bc richie does it but he just knows richie’s kidding right??)
  • and in richie’s mind he’s just like “hold tf up who do you think you are? nope”
  • anytime he walks by in the hall and sees levi talking to eddie he immediately walks up and says smth like “hey asshole with the dumb hair. hey eds.”
  • “he has hair just like you?? and don’t call me that.”
  • “hAHAHhaHA that’s funny anyways let me walk you to class eds”
  • and levi’s like “i was gonna walk him to class”
  • and then richie’s like “well not anymore you tall fuck!” and adds on a laugh bc he’s not actually being mean (yes he is)
  • and eddie’s just wide eyed and confused like wtf is going on??
  • AND THEN richie and levi makes eye contact and without words they both just understand what the other is saying
  • “game on”
  • anytime levi passes by them in the hall richie accidentally trips him. accidentally
  • levi just happens to always be there whenever richie goes to meet eddie after 7th period and even when richie wants to leave eddie insists they stay and talk to levi
  • “oh man levi… i heard you failed your quiz the other day. damn. sorry, dude. it must suck to be dumb and also have a small dick  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯“ “small?? nah, must be talking about yourself. i have to use two hands. *winks at eddie*” “*eyes twitches* you wouldn’t even stand a chance if we took our dicks out right now and measured them. my dick has done grea–”
  • “BEEP BEEP RICHIE! both of you shut the hell up” and eddie’s just hardcore blushing and trying to wrap his mind around what the fuck is happening
  • it goes on like this for a while - levi trying to make the moves on eddie and richie sHUTTING THAT SHIT DOWN BC NO
  • each attempt just ends with richie getting more fed up and levi opening his locker to find some nice gifts - used condoms, rotten food, pounds of paper mache.
  • lbr tho eventually eddie will have enough of this shit and just ask richie why he’s being weird abt levi
  • “he likes you.” “so?” “wait, did you know??” “uh yeah it’s kinda obvious and he told me” AND RICHIE’S HEAD JUST EXPLODES BC WHAT
  • and eddie’s just like “i told him i didn’t feel the same way because i like somebody else. even though this person is a dumbass.”
  • and richie just goes reD bc w o w and he’s finally like “so will you go out with me eds?” and ofc eddie says yes bc jesus christ richie finally
  • “well since that’s out of the way… can i punch levi in the face for trying to out-dick me? and yes.. i mean that in more than one way” *winks at eddie*

Quick sketch! Sorry Kayn I’ve been playing more Ahri since I got her new skin (plus you only suffer when I go mid with you and they camp hard :c )