end of the twist out

I Don't Have a Gay Son.

A few months ago, my oldest son, Charlie, came out to me as a homosexual.

He sat his mother and I down in the living room and confessed everything to us; about how he had always felt attraction towards men, for his entire life. He even told us that he had a boyfriend who he wanted to introduce us to. Justine and I had always had our suspicions about Charlie, but we were still shocked by our son’s revelation.

Suffice to say, Charlie is no longer a son of mine.

You see, every now and again, teenagers in our town get unnatural urges. We try to correct these impure desires early- teach kids right from wrong. If you don’t nip these thoughts in the bud while they’re still young, they’ll manifest as behaviour in adolescence. We pull offending children up and tell them, again and again, from morning worship to Sunday school.

“Your ungodly impulses are a choice” we lecture. “You can choose Heaven or you can choose Hell. Which will it be?” For many youth, the threat of damnation is enough to set them on the right path. But there are those who cling to their perversions, convincing themselves that their lifestyle choice is the correct one.

If only we had beat it out of them. Maybe that could have saved Charlie.

I’ll never understand what compels teens to commit such awful sin. Some say that it’s the media, corrupting the minds of the youth. Others think that it’s just the primal evil of humanity, inevitably seeping through. All I know for sure is that these teenagers go about defiling the Lord, and our town, remorselessly.

There are probably those out there who would call us intolerant. That’s fine by us. We believe that there are some transgressions that simply shouldn’t be tolerated, under any circumstances.

And we will never tolerate abduction, torture and murder.

No, I don’t have a gay son. I don’t have a gay son, because those twisted f*cking bastards killed him.

Some Pidge Headcanons

- Pidge is the kind of person who would rather try to find a free version of a program instead of actually paying for a program

    - Either that or she just makes her own program

         - Everyone would go to her so she could get them free stuff

- When she’s bored she just makes a fake profile on stuff like club penguin and neopets and just dick around with the system and trolls people

       - She’s been banned like 57 times on club penguin ALONE but she just works her way around the system

- Her interest in tech stemmed from wanting something on her computer but she can’t access it yet

        - “Dad, why can’t I find out what NASA is hiding from us?” “It all in their files, it’s confidential” “Oh really >:3c”

- Gaming becomes one of her favorite things, she was always interested in how it works

         - The main reason her sleep schedule is so messed up

- The relationship between her and Matt is like “I’m gonna call u an asshole and put pink hair dye in ur shampoo but I still love u with all my heart”

     - She’s definitely the kind of sister who comes in, leaves the door open and walks away

- Pranks are her thing, don’t mess w/ her

    - They’re always super elaborate and well-planned and she never gets caught

- She always secretly wanted shorter hair bc she didn’t want to deal with it

      - But people always used to say she looked like Matt so she didn’t want them to look even MORE alike

- Her interest in aliens and conspiracy theories started as a joke but then she fell down the rabbit hole

    - She saw all the evidence and people’s point of view and she was convinced that there were aliens out there and that the Zodiac Killer is Ted Cruz

              - You know alienmemes420? Yeah, that’s her on forums aggressively proving that her theory is right

                       - She actually came across Keith on one of these forums and even argued with him but she never knew his actual name

                                     - This skill actually came in handy because she was able to figure out the twist at the end of the season months before anyone else 

Dear Evan Hansen sketches because these boys and their dumb trees are ruining my lyfe

Beauty and the Beast Fic Rec: Mirrors by @greensearcher

Everyone knows the Beast was selfish and unkind—which, of course, is exactly what a jealous enchantress would want the world to think. A retelling in which young Adam was an innocent victim caught up in his father’s past mistakes, and Belle a willing presence seeking to repay her own father’s debt. And with a vengeful witch on the loose, Gaston is the least of their worries.

Movies Bloodborne fans should watch: (if you ask me :P)
  • Brotherhood of the Wolf (French movie about the Beast of Gévaudan. Bloodborne’s fashion is most likely inspired by its beautiful costumes.)
  • Bram Stoker’s Dracula (Cainhurst? Cainhurst. Cheesy at times.)
  • Crimson Peak (Gothic romance at its finest.)
  • Hellboy 1 / 2 - The Golden Army (Just watch the two movies, okay? SO GOOD.)
  • Van Helsing (yeah yeah, I know this one isn’t that great. WHO CARES! harmless fun with crazy weaponry and big monsters.)
  • Mary Reilly (the classic tale of Dr.Jekyll & Mr.Hyde seen from the point of view of Jekyll’s housemaid who, obviously, has a crush on him. )
  • From Hell (Jack the Ripper. Johnny Depp, Alan Moore, lots of drugs.)
  • The Whisperer in the Darkness (The best adaptation of Lovecraft’s story of the same name.)
  • Red Riding Hood (this movie gets all the hate just because it has the same director as Twilight but is a pretty decent movie with great atmosphere and a nice twist near the end. It’s not that easy to figure out who’s the wolf! My only complaint about this flick is that the actors are waaaay too attractive in pure young-adult romance fashion. Still worth a watch.)
  • Tenshi no Tamago (aka Angel’s Egg. Weird, visually stunning, very esoteric and reminds me a ton of Fishing Hamlet for some reason. The plot is cryptic and mysterious, just like Bloodborne’s.)
  • The Company of Wolves (a weird classic based upon Angela Carter’s dark fairytales ~♡)
  • Pride, Prejudice and Zombies (It’s better than you think.)
  • Goya’s Ghosts (SPANISH INQUISITION! Heresy! Torture! Drama! Doesn’t “look” like Bloodborne, but the themes are there and is overall a good historical movie with great actors.)
  • Penny Dreadful (TV series. This one is a mixed bag for me, but the photography is stunning and Victorian to the core. Rushed ending tho. And a lot of gratuitous sex scenes that don’t go anywhere. I warned you.)
  • Taboo (TV series. PRETTY NICE)
  • Solomon Kane (PURITAN DUDE KILLS STUFF)
  • Hellsing Ultimate (Anime OVA which needs no introduction.)
So here’s an email I just sent to Marvel, in case you’re interested

To the editors of Marvel Comics:

Many of the letters in your letters pages begin with the writer’s long history of reading comics as evidence that you should care about their opinion and want to keep them as a customer. While I may be relatively new to comics, I think I’m a pretty desirable customer. Not only do I have disposable income and a willingness to spend money on physical books in a brick-and-mortar comic shop, but I’m also a teacher and librarian with the power to get your books in the hands of the next generation.

Until recently, I was thrilled to do just that. I teach at a school that serves a very diverse population and I wanted to expose my students to heroes who look like them. I bought them Miles Morales, Sam Wilson, Ms. Marvel, Silk, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl, various team books, and more. I did this not with the school’s budget, but with my own money (and I of course took the opportunity to read them myself first).

For myself (although I also share most of them with students), I have every issue of Patsy Walker, A.K.A. Hellcat!, The Mighty Thor, Mockingbird, Storm, and most of the recent Black Widow and Captain Marvel runs. I’ve been eagerly awaiting Nick Fury and America, and was not disappointed by their #1s. I’ve loved so much of what Marvel has given me over the past few years; I got to see parts of myself and the people I love in these books, parts that I don’t always get to see in popular media.

But none of the above were the characters that got me into comics; that honor belongs to Steve Rogers. I fell in love with him in the movies, with his steadfastness and his sense of justice and his belief in doing the right thing and protecting individuals. I went back and read Brubaker’s Winter Soldier arc, but was too intimidated by the vastness of the Marvel universe to read many of the books he was currently appearing in when I first started reading comics.

And then I found out he was being restored to his young self and getting a new series. I was ECSTATIC. I couldn’t wait to get it and see what new adventures this amazing character would go on. When I found out about the twist at the end of #1, I was upset, but everyone assured me that this is comics - it’ll be mind control or a decoy or some other trick. Soon everything would be back to normal. But as I realized how committed everyone at Marvel was to the reality of Steve-the-Hydra-Agent, I also realized that this was a book that didn’t want me as a reader. This version of Steve Rogers seemed to have nothing in common with the Steve Rogers I had fallen in love with. As a queer woman with Jewish ancestry, I felt like my concerns were dismissed and that I was unwelcome. 

So I didn’t buy the book. I kept my other subscriptions and continued to enjoy them, all the while waiting for the trick-behind-the-trick that everyone else seemed sure would come. And then Secret Empire began.
I don’t know if I can put into words how it felt to find out that according to this new story, Steve Rogers has never been a hero at all. The closest I can get is that it was a punch in the gut, although I feel the cliche fails to accurately convey the strength of my response.

Stories matter. Heroes matter. And in a world that feels full of pain and fear and darkness, stories and heroes matter even more. The people I love are living with a lot of fear right now - fear of deportation, fear of losing access to health care, fear of being attacked for who they love or the color of their skin - and so am I. We need heroes who can remind us of why we fight, why we resist, why we rise above, why we plant ourselves like a tree and say “no, you move.”

Steve Rogers used to be that hero for me and for many others. To take a hero like Steve Rogers and destroy everything that made him who he was, everything that he was created to be…I don’t know why that is a story that Marvel wants to tell right now. Or ever. It is incomprehensible to me.

And it leaves me torn. I have asked my shop to not pull any books related to Secret Empire for me, and a part of me wants to firmly declare that Marvel will never see another cent of my money at all. The other part of me remembers how much I have loved and appreciated my other experiences as a Marvel fan, the encouragement that your characters and stories have given me, the ways they’ve made me laugh and given me something to look forward to, a bright spot in the middle of the week.

I don’t know if I will keep buying Marvel comics. I want to, but I’m not sure you want me to. Right now, it seems like I’m the type of customer that you don’t want at all - the customer who values the diversity you’ve blamed for the sales slump and who wants her good guys to be good, even when it’s hard.

Hoping to remain a fan,
Rachel A. 

little-things-about-lou  asked:

Sending this again for you haha. I just discovered this ship and have only read a couple fics, would love some recommendations of the best fics to start with!! Thanks so much! <3

Hellooo there!

It’s so awesome to see new faces in the Drarry community! Okay but there’s honestly so many wonderful and amazing stories out there and I don’t know where to start. I’m going to need to restrain myself from making this post super duper long, so below I’ve compiled a list of my top 10 favourite Drarry fanfictions. Hope you enjoy :)

  • The Moon Looks Lovely Tonight -  by Omi-Omi (37k)
    When Harry moves into the damp and empty Black house, it doesn’t quite feel like home. And then the first owl moves in. After that, it’s a steep slope leading to bed-sharing, more owls, assorted housemates, strange potions experiments, and terrible cooking. And a bit of waltzing, too.
    (An absolute masterpiece; hands down my all time favourite fic ever! It’s all about new beginnings, getting back on your feet after the war, and a journey of self-discovery. The bonds formed between the Golden Trio, Luna, Goyle and Draco were so pure and lovely, it was just perfect)

  • He Was He and I Was Bunny - by bryoneybrynn (37k)
    The war is over and “eighth year” is about to begin at Hogwarts. But for Harry and Draco, nothing is quite the same. Harry’s looking for an escape, Draco’s looking for a friend. Does a little black bunny hold the answers for both of our boys?
    (A super, super, super cute animagus fic!! I loved the general tone and pacing of this fic as it was very light-hearted and sweet! But I loved it even more when the drama and angst started to kick in because it added that extra flavour and richness to the story. But okay Bunny!Harry has got to be one of the cutest, most adorable things ever)

  • Synthetic Bonds - by mypetelephant (116k)
    Harry has always been the golden boy of Malfoy Corporation, earning the respect of Lucius and the resentment of his high school rival, Draco. But Lucius has a business proposal that involves Harry becoming a Malfoy..by marrying Draco.
    (I’m not a big fan of non-magic au’s - because magic is a big reason why I love the HP universe -, but damn Synthetic Bonds really stood out for me. This story has a magic of its own. The plot, characterisations and dynamics of it all were spectacular. It kind of had this ‘push-and-pull’ kind of love going on between Draco and Harry, and all of the minor characters were beautifully integrated into the whole story)

  • Marginal Notes - by blamebrampton (9k)
    When you’re 18, and nothing is as it was meant to be, sometimes it can be hard to let the right people know what you are thinking.
    (Do you ever feel bitter about Draco not getting a redemption? Well, this is the story for you! I nearly cried at how well Draco was illustrated in this fic and its one of the main reasons why I loved it so much. Like, Draco is definitely my favourite character in HP and to see a fic where he’s wonderfully portrayed and gets the redemption he’s always deserved, it just warms my heart, ya know?)

  • Seeker, Chaser, Keeper - by VivacissimoVoce (59k)
    Rumor has it that a wealthy investor is starting up a brand new professional Quidditch team and he’s looking for players. Harry and Draco both want to make the team, but there can be only one Seeker. Will competing for the position bring them closer or drive them further apart?
    (Oh boyyyy, okay I totally blame Seeker, Chaser, Keeper for getting me into the whole Quidditch trope and everything. And can I just say that Draco was such an amazing top in this story? Like, normally I don’t really care who’s the bottom/top in fanfics, but damn I could get used to seeing some more top!Draco after reading this)

  • The Standard You Walk Past - by bafflinghaze (46k)
    On returning to Hogwarts for their Eighth Year, Headmistress McGonagall decided to room Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter together. She may have hoped for a leading example of house unity; the other students fully expected insults and fights. But nothing happened.That
    was, until Harry sleepwalked into Draco’s bed.
    (Quite possibly my favourite 8th year story ever! I love Ron and Hermione in this fic as you could really see how much they cared for Harry, and omg Hermione giving the dreaded ‘talk’ to Harry was hilarious! I loved it when Draco helped Harry through his nightmares. I loved how Harry pretended to talk for Draco, that was adorable. And I loved all of the wee little Slytherins! I basically love everything there is to this story!)

  • On Daftness - by tracy & starlitshore (16k)
    Draco wants Harry. Harry wants Draco. So why is everything so difficult?
    (I feel like you can’t have a top 10 list without a representative for the genre FLUFF and CUTENESS OVERLOAD. I had the biggest grin on my face while reading this! The banter! The flirting! The UST! The insistence on being ‘just-friends’ when it’s so obvious to everyone else that they should just have sex already! All of it was so amazing!)

  • All Our Secrets Laid Bare - by firethesound (149k)
    Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.
    (A truly brilliant fic! The plot of this story is so intricate and well-thought, and the plot twist at the end of the story nearly had me falling out of my chair. Draco suffers through so much in this fanfic, your heart will ache for him as people give him a hard time for being a Death Eater.

  • Progressive Displacement - by GatewayGirl (20k)
    Harry didn’t mean the wish that way. From his point of view, it hadn’t even worked.
    (This was so intriguing and cool! All of the universe hopping, alternate realities and different versions of Harry and Draco really messed with my mind, but still, it was such a fun read! I just loved seeing all the different Harry’s and reading what that Harry’s life was like in the alternate universe, it was all so interesting and a really good alternate universe fic)

  • Dear Diary - by AWickedMemory (20k)
    After the war, Harry picks up a journal to write in… and it writes back. Luckily, it’s not a Horcrux on the other end this time. 
    (GahhAAH everything about this story was so utterly perfect! Like, the voices of Harry and Draco were captured beautifully in their writings to each other through the journal, and the correspondence between them was such a joy to read. This is a beautifully written story with so much emotion and depth! I honestly can’t remember how many times I’ve read and re-read this fic)

Extra

Because I limited this post to only 10 fics (otherwise it would’ve been waaay too long) I wasn’t able to mention some of my other favourites out there. So below are a few authors who have written a heap of Drarry fanfictions that are all brilliantly written to the utmost degree, and I would definitely recommend checking out all of their stories + all of the amazing authors mentioned above as well.

Plot Twist: Jenna Intercepted

At the end of 7x10, Jenna is taken out of the blind school and dragged into the back of a van. 

She asks who it is, only to be answered with a latex mask thrown beside her, which she perceives to mean that A.D. has taken her.

We then see “A.D.” in a black hoodie and gloves, driving the van.

What’s questionable about all of this is that A.D. had previously tossed Charlotte’s hoodies and gloves into a garbage can…

I took this to be symbolic of the end of the “hoodie” era, and the beginning of a new one. 

A.D. purchased uniforms online and bragged that “I don’t lurk in the shadows, I hide in plain sight.” As in no hoodies necessary. And we didn’t see any hoodies, until the end of 7x10. 

This is why I’m reluctant to accept that A.D. really took Jenna. Maybe Jenna was taken by somebody else, pretending to be A.D. Somebody who took advantage of her blindness to trick her. All it took was a latex mask for Jenna to believe she was with A.D., which anyone could have procured. 

We could be looking at a brilliant strategic move, in which Jenna is intercepted, deceived, and presented with a bogus “script” of instructions for her to carry out. So that while she thinks she’s working for A.D., she’ll actually be working towards A.D.’s undoing. 

Five Times Ladybug Didn't Recognize Her Partner and One Time She Did

A sequel to Five Times Gabriel Agreste Didn’t Akumatize His Son and One Time He Did. I really wanted to leave it as it was, but I had to come back and give this a happier ending. And of course it ran away from me and got way longer than I meant it to.

I hope you enjoy!


“Is everything okay, kitty?”

Chat Noir looked over at her. “What?”

“You seem a little out of it.”

He shrugged. “No, just…” He sighed. “My dad’s not coming to something kind of…important to me.”

She frowned. “I’m sorry.”

“I mean, I knew he wouldn’t, but… I guess I hoped things would be different now.”

“Different?”

“It’s nothing.”

By the way he looked at her, she knew she shouldn’t press. After all, there was only so much they could share without revealing their identities. “Well…” she gently patted his shoulder. “Maybe you can ask some friends to come instead.” She wished she could attend, but without knowing who he was, that would be impossible.

Sometimes, keeping their identities safe was difficult and even painful, but she knew it was better this way. Once they’d discussed it, he’d even agreed with her.

Still, as Marinette watched Adrien play at his recital, painfully aware of Gabriel Agreste’s absence, she couldn’t help but wonder if someone had gone to Chat Noir’s event to support him the way she, Nino, and Alya had attended Adrien’s recital. She hoped so.

Keep reading

Prize  [ E.P ]

Hiiiiii! Yes, I’m back and I’m not dead lmao I’m so sorry for not having anything up in so long. 

Also, this is my first piece of writing for Narnia that I’m going to be posting on this blog and I’ve been wanting to do this for such a long time but I’ve finally gotten around to actually doing it. The whole Narnia series (books and movies) holds such a large part of my heart to itself and I’m really excited for more of these to come!

Pairing: Edmund Pevensie x Reader

Summary: Edmund challenges reader to a friendly duel. Reader is a fighter but only so in hand to hand combat because of a large dislike for sharp objects. The winner gets a prize from the loser at the end of the match. (Lmao I suck at summaries oops)

Word Count: 1350

Warnings: None, really

You stare at the sword in your hand, contemplating your next move. Should you take him up on his offer to a friendly duel or should you return to pretending to read while watching him train on his own? By no means are you unable to fight because you have always been more than capable to do so. But merely in hand-to-hand combat. Swords and bows and arrows and whips and all were never correct for you – they just never worked well with you.

That, and you have an undying fear of things with sharp edges just like this one. 

“Are you afraid of hurting yourself with that sword in your hand, love?” Edmund smirks, “Just like last time? When you managed to half-impale your own forearm?”

“I’m not afraid of hurting myself, Ed,” You roll your eyes. If it weren’t for the fact that he was the one who’s unknowingly stolen your heart, you would have not even thought of saying yes to the fight against him. But you didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front the man you had grown such strong feelings for. 

“Then why are you not accepting the challenge, Y/N?”

“I–um,” You stuttered, not wanting to admit your dislike for swords. After clearing your throat, you blurt, “I don’t like sharp objects, Your Majesty.”

“Is that all?” Edmund chuckles at your teasing use of his title, “It’s merely a friendly duel. I won’t let you get hurt, if that is what you are afraid of.”

With a sigh, you nod your head as if to tell him that you will. He sends you a small smile–one that’s barely there. It’ a smile that few get to see but it’s a smile that many remember. Edmund hands you a sword, his eyes running across the armory as he readies his own. You flash him a mischievous smirk, swinging your leg out to hit his calf lightly. You decide it’s time to toughen up and use the bloody sword.

“Hey,” He says, his eyes looking into your own as he quickly moves out so that your foot never touches his calf. Edmund’s orbs glisten with a sense of cheekiness that you knew could only mean he was enjoying this more than he should. “Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

You roll your eyes at him, watching as he swings his sword around twice before he pushes it forward. You quickly move to the side, watching as the tip of the sword pierces the air beside your shoulder. As quickly as the first, Edmund strikes at you once, the clash of your own sword being heard throughout the silence of the armory.

It’s difficult for you not to just stop what you’re doing and stare at him as he moves. In your eyes, there is nobody that holds more beauty than Edmund Pevensie. His raven hair falls over his eyes, a slight blush on his cheek from training for so long before now.

“If you cut me with that sword of yours,” You mumbled, loud enough for him to hear you as you both repeatedly swing at each others with the freshly sharpened weapons. “My veins will haunt you. That’s a promise.”

This time it was Edmund’s turn to roll his eyes.

“Honestly, you’re kind of weird.” Edmund grunts, blocking another one of your hits. His eyes meet yours once more, his gaze piercing your own through the gap between your swords.

“Took you long enough to figure that one out,” You smile. This time your leg actually hits his calf with so much force it sends him to the floor. It was a simple trick (if it could even be called a trick) that Edmund would have seen coming if you were anyone else. But he had his guard down more than his usual. “I mean, really Edmund, we’ve known each other for years!”

“And yet this is still the first time you’ve managed to have almost beat me,” And he pounces back up, quickly swiping the side of your sleeve with the end of his sword. You glare at him as he twists the sword out of your hand, causing it to fall to the floor beside your feet before he’s holding the tip of his own at your neck with a devious smile playing on his pink lips. “I win.”

“Bloody hell, Ed,” You groan, picking up your sword and handing it back to Edmund to put it away safely. “You could have at least let me win. Just this once.”

“Maybe next time. But,” A sly smirk crosses the King’s face as he steps toward you, crossing his arms over his chest. “What do I get for winning, hm?”

You open your mouth as if to say something but you abruptly shut it, holding a single finger up at Edmund’s face before you run to the bag of vegetables that you had picked from the garden. You pull out a carrot, quickly running back to your closest friend with the orange vegetable in your hand.

“Here.” You stick the carrot in his face as if forcing him to eat it right then and there. He just stares at it with an eyebrow raised before he lifts his hand, grabbing the carrot in his hand. His expression is unamused yet amused at the same time, his eyes scanning the carrot as if it were a clue to some long unsolved mystery. But really, it was just a carrot.

“A carrot?”

“Yeah,” You nod, jutting a thumb behind you in the direction of the gardens. “The salads they grow in the garden are really good. The carrots are especially scrumptious, I bet you would love this one.”

“Do I look like a bloody rabbit?!” Edmund exclaims. He quickly regains his more senseful train of thought, his eyes falling back to yours.

“What? Do you not like it?”

“I mean I–yes, I like it. I love carrots.” Edmund trips over his words, not wanting to offend you in any way. Truthfully, Edmund hates carrots. 

“Oh,” You smile. “It just seemed like you didn’t–”

“There was just something else that I had in mind, that’s all.”  And taking advantage in his sudden boost of confidence, he pulls you into his chest, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear with the softest touch his fingers could manage.

Both you and Edmund don’t fail to notice the speed of your individual heart rates increase from the proximity and you silently hope that he can’t hear the beating of your heart because of how close you are. He bites his lip once he notices the blush that tints your cheeks. In fact, you were pretty sure they’re on fire.

He touches his forehead to yours tenderly, his hand loosely placing itself on your warm cheek. The feeling of his thumb caressing the soft skin sends shivers down your spine, your breath quickening as his face slowly grows closer to yours. You can feel each and every one of his breaths on your face which you found seemed so very intimate for someone like Edmund.

He looks to your eyes for permission, silently learning the answer you choose to give him. Edmund notices your eyes already falling to his lips. He shuts his eyes, his hold on you growing tighter and more intimate than ever.

And within seconds his lips are on yours.

The kiss starts of slow and gentle but it soon turns towards a more heated and passionate direction. His lips are as soft as clouds against your own lips, sending small shockwaves through your bloodstream and you could feel in every inch of your body, exactly how Edmund the Just feels about you.

He pulls away much too soon for your liking, once again resting his forehead against yours.

“I loved the carrots,” Edmund says, his chest rising and falling as he regains his breath from the kiss that has left him panting more than any war that he has fought. “But that kiss was a prize that I liked much much more.”

Reasons Everyone Should Read Skulduggery Pleasant Series

• the main character is a badass teenage girl who is sarcastic and grumpy
• the other main character is a talking skeleton that doesn’t know when to shut up
• they’re best friends and throughout the series have said they don’t want to live without each other
• magic
• MAGIC
• also detective-y stuff
• the women are mostly all badass and can save themselves
• it doesn’t focus on any romance plots (they’re more side plots and not that huge)
• Valkyrie wears all black most of the time
• China Sorrows is the best
• further along in the series there are complaining zombies
• it’s fucking hilarious
• IT DOESNT FOCUS ON ROMANCE
• there is a side book of just stories about missions and stuff - basically a book of fanfiction written by the author
• the series is over and ended with an amazing twist so no waiting for the new book to come out
• you will fall in love with a Texan psychopath
• skulduggery pleasant supports LGBT (in dying of the light he is commenting that someone is always changing their uniform and says “why don’t you wear rainbow colours next? You could support the lesbian, gay and transgender community”)
• valkyrie’s parents are amazing
• IT DOESNT FOCUS ON ROMANCE!?!?!!!!?!!
• ITS BASICALLY AN AMAZING AND HILARIOUS SERIES ABOUT A SKELETON AND A TEENAGE GIRL AND THEYRE DETECTIVES AND BEST FRIENDS AND MAGIC AND READ IT

5

After a tiresome game of badminton a group of friends go for a night out at a local restaurant. They indulge in some tapas and a few drinks, which sounds like a lot of fun - but ultimately somebody has to pay the bill at the end of the night. What has started out as a pleasant evening ends with a shocking twist, as an argument about who is going to pick up the bill erupts - and then spirals out of control.
- The Bill, Tuesday 21st February 10pm, BBC2.

All Our Secrets Laid Bare

Words: 149k  ◆  Chapters: 16  ◆  Status: Complete
Read here
Author: firethesound
Star Rating: ★★

Summary: Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.

Thoughts: A truly brilliant fic! The plot of this story is so intricate and well-thought, and the plot twist at the end of the story nearly had me falling out of my chair.

Draco suffers through so much in this fanfic, your heart will ache for him as people give him a hard time for being a Death Eater. He’s so beautifully portrayed in this story (and so is Harry for that matter!). 

As the story goes, Draco and Harry are assigned to be partners, however, Draco doesn’t know that Harry is also investigating him for the suspicious deaths of his previous 4 partners. But then Harry’s secret mission is made a hell of a lot harder when he starts to fall in love with Draco. But wait, it get’s worse! Both our boys then start to date, violating at least 17 (or was it 16?) Ministry laws. 

Hold up! I almost forgot to mention the magical tattoos that Draco has - they’re honestly the coolest things ever, 11/10 for sure. 

Author- @family-business-forever

Song- Next Contestant- Nickelback

Word Count- 1371

Characters- Dean, reader, OFC!Mandy, some bar guys that are jerks

Pairings- Deanxreader

Warnings- Violence, swearing, slight mention of smut.

AU- This is my first song fic and aesthetic so bare with me! Feedback is much appreciated!

I judge by what she’s wearing
Just how many heads I’m tearing
Off of assholes coming on to her
Each night seems like it’s getting worse

Dean sat on his bed watching her get dressed into a air of tight skinny earns and a crop top. He sighed as she started putting on make-up.

“Sweetheart do you have to work tonight?” He questioned, hoping she’d say no.

“Yes Dean, I don’t like credit card fraud, I wanna earn my money, even if that means having a bunch of creeps flirt with me.” She says, as she brushes her hair out.

And I wish she’d take the night off
So I don’t have to bite off
Every asshole coming on to her
It happens every night she works

Once she’s ready she grabs her leather jacket, as Dean does the same and they both head off to Joe’s Bar. She can see Dean’s knuckles turning white around the steering wheel as he drives. She sighs before resting a hand onto his thigh, relaxing him some.

“You know I’m all yours. No ones gonna take me from you, because I don’t wanna be with anyone but you.” She says, rubbing his thigh, managing to calm him down.  Half an hour later, they pull up to the bar and get out. Before she has a chance to start walking, Dean pushes her up against the Impala and kisses her ferociously. She laughs into the kiss, before kissing him back and matches his ferociousness. Finally he pulls away, resting his forehead onto hers. “I love when you get jealous.” She says, laughing. Finally, they both walk into the building and she goes over to the bar to relieve a co-worker.

“Be careful tonight. Crowds really fired up and frisky. Is Dean here?” Her go worker, Mandy, asks.

“Yeah he’s here, you be careful too. Is Brandon here?” She asks Mandy.

“Yeah, actually I can see him ,he’s over talking to Dean. He’s probably letting Dean know about the crowd.” Mandy says, as they both look over to their two men. “Well good luck and be safe.” Mandy says as she leaves.

Right away she can feel eyes on her, and not just Deans eyes.

They’ll go and ask he DJ
And find out just what would she say
If they all tired coming on to her
Don’t they know it’s never gonna work
They think they’ll get inside her
With every drink they buy her
As they all try coming on to her
This time somebody’s getting hurt

Here come the next contestant

She’s only Ben working for an hour and already four guys bought drinks for her. Right now theres a drunk brunette flirting with her while she’s trying to do her job. She kindly avoids his flirting but he isn’t letting off anytime soon. Finally, though, he crosses the line. She gives one look to Dean and he’s there in a flash grabbing the guys hand just as the guy touched her arm.

Is that your hand on my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?
I wish you’d do it again
I’ll watch you leave here limping
There goes the next contestant

Dean ended up twisting the guys arm around and throwing him out of the bar before returning back to his booth where he can still watch her.

I even fear the ladies
They’re cool but twice as crazy
Just as bad for coming n to her
Don’t they know it’s never gonna work

About an hour later, she’s being hit on again but this time by a skinny blonde girl. The blonde buys her a few shots before striking up conversation with her. Being nice, (Y/N) talks to her, while also working. Again she avoids the blondes flirting and this time the blonde gives up and walks away.

Each time she bats an eyelash
Somebody’s grabbing her ass
Everyone keeps coming on to her
This time somebody’s getting hurt

Here comes the next contestant

As she’s serving a table drinks some collage frat boy decides he’s gonna grab her ass. She turns around with her jaw clenched, getting ready to say something until she remembers Dean is here. She turns her head around to, again look at Dean and he’s there in a flash, grabbing the frat boys hand just as it goes in for another grab. The frat boy looks up at Dean, before standing up to challenge him.

Is that you hand on my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?
I wish you’d do it again
I’ll watch you leave here limping
I wish you’d do it again
I’ll watch you leave here limping
There goes the next contestant

Grabbing her ass was the first mistake and challenging Dean was the second. At first the kid sized up his competition, before deciding that he may be able to win. That’s when he threw the first punch, missing as Dean saw it coming, caught it, twisted it behind the kids back and broke it. Not only was Dean teaching the kid a lesson, but by breaking his arm he was warning everyone else at the bar to stay away, and for awhile they did. Until some new comers came in, taking their seats at a booth, eyeing her up. She only had to get through one more hour and then she could go home.

I’m hating what she’s wearing
Everybody here keeps staring
Can’t wait ‘till they get what they deserve
This time somebody’s getting hurt

Here comes the next contestant

With only a half hour to go she brought Dean one of his final beers, and gave him a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry baby, just a half hour to go and I’m all yours.” She says, kissing him on the cheek, before sauntering off, making sure to add an extra swing to her his as she goes.

They almost made it,with only ten minutes to go when one of the guys in the new group starting flirting with her, when she brought the men there third rounds of beer.

“What’s your name, sweetheart?” He asks, trying to be charming but only managing to discuss her, with his yellow teethed smile.

“(Y/N).” Is all she said as she laid the men’s drinks down, and collected their empty bottles.

“Well, (Y/N). How about you let me give you a ride home after you get off, huh?” He asks, again trying to be charming but failing miserably.

“No, I think I’d much rather go home with my boyfriend and not some disgusting druggy, sorry.” She said, sassily.

“Now come on sweetheart, don’t you wanna be with a real man?” He asks, opening his arms to show that, he thinks, he has a nice body.

“A real man? Oh please, I can see the ring on your finger, no real man goes out to a bar with his buddies and tries to hook up with a waitress who already told you was taken. Now go home to your wife and get some help.” She says, before turning around only for the man to grab her arm ruffly and yank her back around, and crash his lips to hers. She ties to pull away, but to no avail since he has a death grip on her arm.

Dean sees everything and is not happy as he storms over to the man and yanks him off her.

Is that your hand on my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?
I wish you’d do it again
I’ll watch you leave here limping
I wish you’d do it again
I’ll watch you leave here limping

I wish you’d do it again
(Each night seems it it’s getting worse)
I wish you’d do it again
(This time somebody’s getting hurt)

There goes the next contestant

Dean was so furious that he put the guy in the hospital with four cracked ribs, a shattered nose, a broken wrist, and one hell of a concussion. That night they went home and Dean showed what a real man was.