Can you point to one successful example of a capitalist republic in the history of time? You can't, and that's because democratic election of leaders goes against human nature. It might work on a small scale, but all notions of individual liberty are just idealistic pipe dreams. Any time it's been attempted on a large scale, capitalism has killed more people than feudalism ever could. We've already reached the end of history.
*looks at the audience of the stage play like James from The Manor*
A little AU meet-cute based on @billypoindexter‘s prompt (someone else may have already done it, but I haven’t written any zimbits in forever):
So I was watching Say Yes to the Dress yesterday and Corbin Bleu and his
fiancé (now wife) Sasha Clements were on it and when they asked how
they met Sasha said they met in a grocery store and she kind of
recognized him, and figured he was an acquaintance whose name she had
forgotten. So she goes “Hey!! How are you?” and they chat for a bit
before she realizes that she knows him because he’s famous.
Bitty was rounding the end of the cereal aisle, rechecking
the grocery list to see if he’d gotten everything and wondering what was wrong
with the state of public education in New England that none of his roommates
had apparently learned basic penmanship, when he ran into someone.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry!” he exclaimed, and suppressed
the wince as his accent reflexively came out full force. (It was partly the
apologizing, and partly that he’d learned people were more forgiving if they
thought he wasn’t from ’round here. He’d decided to embrace it; if he couldn’t
get rid of the accent, it might as well be good for something.)
“No, no problem,” said the person, and then Bitty actually
looked at him and felt that familiar terror of countless small-town grocery
runs with his mother, where they ran into someone that he knew he was supposed to know, but could not place for the life of
him, let alone remember an actual name.
“Well, hey!” he exclaimed, racking his brain frantically for
the reason this guy looked so familiar. Surely he’d remember someone who looked
like that. Lord. There was nothing,
though, so he let autopilot take over. “How have you been?”
Tall, Dark, and Handsome blinked at him. (How could Bitty
have forgotten eyes that blue? What even was wrong with him today? This was
ridiculous.) “Uh, okay, actually. Yup. Everything going well.”
“Well, that’s great!” Bitty glanced at his list again. “Hey,
can you read this? I genuinely can’t tell if this is supposed to be English.”
The guy obligingly took the paper from him and squinted at
it. “Provolone, I think.”
Bitty took the list back and stared at it for a second. “I
think you’re right. Honestly, Holster.”
“I was just heading toward the deli myself.”
“How perfect! I really kind of hate shopping by myself? But
this was just supposed to be a quick in and out, or at least it was until I
realized I apparently live with chickens in human guise who never learned to
By the time Bitty and The Guy checked out and parted ways
half an hour later, Bitty still hadn’t recalled his name, and by then it was
clearly too late to admit it.
Oh well, he’d probably remember later, when he was trying to
“You know,” he called pointedly from the kitchen, “y’all could make yourselves useful and help me
put all these things away.”
“Yes! Bro! Did you see that pass?” Holster yelled instead.
“Beauty,” Ransom answered, and then there was the sound of a
Bitty sighed and stuck his head around the corner to see
what they were yelling about now.
SportsCenter, as usual, was on, playing highlights from the
Falconers’ game the night before. As Bitty watched, it switched from the on-ice
play to an intermission interview.
An intermission interview. With the guy from the grocery
“Oh my god,” Bitty
said for the second time that day, hands to his cheeks, which were indeed
Holster looked over at him in concern. “Bits? What’s wrong?
Why do you look like a tomato?”
“I just spent half an hour casually grocery shopping with
Jack fucking Zimmermann because I thought he looked familiar and I didn’t want
to admit I couldn’t place him. Oh my god, I could just die.”
Ransom and Holster exchanged glances and then they were on
him. “No shit! What’s he like? What did he buy? Tell us everything!”
“I can never shop there again,” Bitty said faintly.
Magic when you’re a kid: Pick up a seashell and you can hear the ocean inside. The groundhog sees its shadow and prophesies six more weeks of winter. Forest fairies arrive in September and paint the leaves with brushes made of fire.
Magic when you’re an adult: Capitalists will do what’s best for humanity if we give them the grand majority of the economic and political power and let them follow base self-interest. Wealth is directly proportional to the amount of hard work and labor. We are at the end of history and human organization will never advance beyond a system where sixty people control more resources than half the world.