you may have forgotten me by now,
but here’s the truth.
i hate to watch you smile from a distance.
we never hung out much but i still find myself reminiscing about the moment we met and how, instantly, we connected.
my hurt will never not mention you.
my best poems are still full of gloom
my hands.. never too full for you,
if ever you wonder.
my heart. still empty.
my mind knows better.
so instead of writing you,
i’ll leave it here.
whenever i get high i still think of you.
i think about the way you laugh.
i think about the way you sing.
i think about all those nights we laid together,
no kissing, no touching.
just vibes. just energy.
the truth is,
i wish you cared more about my wellbeing.
the truth is,
i wish i knew more about yours.
why you act like you don’t know me?
you used to know me better than i knew myself.
you used to love the way i love
how you forget the way i love?
since when do i have to remind you who this is?
you don’t remember me?
you don’t remember my heart?
you don’t remember falling apart
every time i’d leave?
you don’t remember the artsy things?
like a love after a love after a love
worth writing about?
you don’t remember our song?
you don’t remember writing it?
you don’t remember singing to me?
remember saying you missed me?
remember needing to speak to me?
to hear from me?
If your soul has had enough & doesn’t want anything to do with you, can it just leave?
Because I feel lost, empty…soulless & honestly I don’t blame it. What did I do to deserve a soul anyway? Give me peace. Let me sleep.
I worry that he’ll get tired of me, that the spark that initially caught his attention will flicker out with time. I worry that he’ll cross paths with someone more interesting and I’ll be left in the dust. I try to comfort myself by saying that if that happens, he never really saw my soul and true potential. He never really cared. But the words are empty in my mind and bring no comfort, much like a song you’ve sung a hundred times.