empowered birth

To my haters

You know, the ones accusing pro-lifers of hating women, right now I’m at a birth, on my hands and knees rubbing her back, massaging her legs and holding her whole weight through contractions from 11pm until now and it will continue several more hours of hard physical labor and emotional support to get her through this delivery the way she wants it. If I hated women why would I sacrifice sleep from anywhere from 24-72 hours just to make sure she’s taken care of. Doesn’t just end there either, weekly follow ups to make sure these women are being taken care of and loved and supported well past birth, they become some of my closest friends so don’t you dare say for a second that I don’t care about women because I will sit and serve her exhausted, hungry, hot/cold, covered in fluids and loving these women like their my own sisters. Think before you stereotype.

I’ll never believe that birth control empowers women. We have this society where you basically can’t work or do school if you’re pregnant and instead of recognizing that there’s a huge problem with that, we’ve decided that it’s much better to have women ingest some really questionable chemicals so that they can become more like men. Birth control doesn’t fight the patriarchy it’s just another way to make us conform to it.

Birth control empowered me to choose the right time in my life to have a baby.

After 10+ years on birth control, I stopped taking the pill when my husband and I decided we were ready to start a family. We were elated when we found out I was pregnant. At our 20-week ultrasound, we were devastated to learn that our daughter had a serious combination of heart defects and would need open heart surgery as an infant. But because we were able to wait to have a baby until we were ready and financially stable, we had the means and resources to get our heart baby the critical care she needed.

Our daughter had her surgery at 5 months old and is now doing wonderfully. I’m so grateful that she came into our lives at the right time, when we were able to support her and to cope with this serious and stressful situation.

I’m a pro-choice parent because all women should be able to make the best decisions for their lives and their families.


anonymous asked:

Hi. Forgive me if this too personal to ask, but I was wondering if there is any specific reason why you are having a C-section? I'm a FTM and think it sounds scary and have noticed that almost everyone seems to get them, even when the baby is healthy. I've also read that doctors get more money for C-sections and tend to 'force' their patients into them. I've only just started researching labor & birth so I'm just really curious.

Oh, babe.

I’m having a Cesarean because I’ve had one before, for a mild medical emergency. I had pre-eclampsia and my son, Mylo, was in the transverse position. Unlike the breech position (which is risky to vaginally birth as well, but less so than transverse), the baby is lying sideways with their back down instead of their bottom. Birthing is almost impossible because the baby can’t fold enough to fit through the birth canal. Without our Cesarean, I have no doubt we could/would have both died in labor/birth. However, because of all the scaremongering done by so many in the natural birthing community (read: not all, some), I felt for many months after my birth that my Cesarean was unnecessary and unjust and used for profit!!!!!!!! In all honesty, my doctor should have scheduled it sooner and, yes, been a little more present verbally during the procedure, but it was definitely something that needed to be done. My baby was born healthy BECAUSE of the surgery. My birth trauma doesn’t stem from my section like I first thought, like I was first told. 

The reason I’ve scheduled a repeat Cesarean is because I’m 41 weeks with no dilation and have no wish to go to 42 weeks. My section is scheduled for when I’ll be 41 weeks and 3 days. Our doctor told us today that I’m now part of a 5% group of women with absolutely no signs of labor this far into the pregnancy, and the medical field doesn’t really have a reason on WHY some of us don’t go into spontaneous labor. It could be because EDD are estimated and we’re not as pregnant as we think, but because of the risks of going past 42 weeks, most practices will induce at this time. He’s hoping I’ll go into labor, but he’s also a realist. hahaha

Now, I’ve gotten a lot of people asking me why I don’t just go and get induced and when you think about it, it’s a no brainer. I have a uterine scar. My uterus is only so strong. Augmentation brings on powerful labor, and because of the increased risks of a uterine rupture, they don’t induce VBAC mothers. This is also a reason they don’t allow us to go past 42 weeks. Bigger baby = bigger chance that your uterus will rip. (This happened to our doctor last year. The VBAC mom had a uterine rupture, and the baby was born partially in her intestines. Both mother and baby were fine, but SHIT.) 

Yes, Cesareans can be scary. However, so can vaginal birth. Both are painful and both pose risks. I, however, am not scared to birth with another section. I have an amazing set of capable, competent doctors who pushed and pushed for our vaginal birth. Besides my husband, no one has been so supportive of the decision to birth naturally. THAT’S what matters and THAT’S what you look for in a doctor or midwife. If you have a doctor who doesn’t listen to your thoughts or respects you, FIND A DIFFERENT DOCTOR. DO NOT SETTLE. BE PICKY. ASK QUESTIONS. LEAVE A PRACTICE IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE. SOME DOCTORS DO SUCK, BUT YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BIRTH WITH THEM. 

I encourage you to research birth, but please also understand that what you find on forums is not the equivalent to medical advice. Honestly, a large majority of the population are idiots and they all seem to have internet connection. Look into birth and labor and positioning and meditation and, I don’t know, delayed cord clamping, but please don’t get caught up in this “AL DOCTROS R EVILL!!!!!!!!!!!” bullshit like I did. They have a degree for a reason. Some are just dicks. Research the complications of inductions, but should you have a Cesarean, don’t you dare let anyone tell you that it wasn’t a “real birth” or empowering or wonderful or a great experience. Things go wrong, so stay flexible. Birth without fear, my friend. 

It is possible to have a great Cesarean just like it is possible to have birth trauma from a home birth. You just don’t hear about those sides often because it doesn’t fit peoples’ agendas. 

What I love best about the Buffyverse is its ambiguity; unlike a myriad of other TV shows, the writers rarely if ever tell you what to think. The world Buffy inhabits has as much room open for alternate interpretation and discussion as it does for monsters and apocalypses. I mean;

  • Is the Slayer line a sacred birth rite empowering women to defend themselves against dark forces they’d usually fall victim to most often? A liberating force given to women to defy the folklore status quo in which women are more often than not simply damsels in distress? Or is the Slayer line a sick, misogynistic ritual sacrifice of young women, enslaving girls (who usually never live to see womanhood) into forcibly fighting for their lives in a high risk, no pay, no recognition job in which they are laid like lambs to the slaughter whilst still essentially children on behalf of the overwhelmingly patriarchal watcher’s council?
  • Speaking of the Watcher’s Council, are they a well meaning, crusading organisation doing the best they can with whatever tools they have in the all-important fight against evil, or a authoritarian, cult-like regime which claims ownership over a innocent young person’s entire life for their own agenda? 
  • Is Xander Harris a omnipresent supportive friend who stands by the Scooby Gang throughout seven years of being dismissed, underestimated, and overshadowed by them due to his unconditional loyalty? Or is he a petulant, immature figure who betrays and turns his back on his closest allies the moment they reject him or make a mistake, more a hindrance than a help to Buffy?
  • Is the Cordelia we see roaming the halls of Sunnydale High a ruthless, apathetic, ego maniacal bully who abhors any deviation from social norms however inconsequential? or is she a smart, quick witted teenager doing her very best to cope and survive in a nightmarish world where students mysteriously disappearing is a weekly occurrence, always ultimately doing the right thing when it really counts? 
  • Are Angel and Angelus two separate entities, two entirely different personas to the point where they even dress differently, speak differently, have different taste in music, or just two sides of the same coin, a way Angel can dissociate from and ease his guilt for his past wrongdoings?
  • When Buffy intended to lead the potential Slayers back in battle after a crippling defeat, was she being a optimistic and pragmatic leader who firmly believed her actions were for the greater good having had to make brave sacrifices herself in the past, or had she become just as dictatorial and totalitarian as the Watcher’s council who had controlled her previously, treating the lives of girls as young as fifteen as expendable pawns?
  • Is Spike and Drusilla’s relationship a sweet romance in which an otherwise heartless demon develops understanding, admiration, and love for a woman usually mocked and misunderstood for her mental illness, or an obsessive and possessive man taking advantage of a mentally ill woman for his own ends? 
  •  Does the shy Willow Rosenberg grow into a indomitable goddess, wielding great power and strength that she shares with hundreds, perhaps thousands of women the world over through her endurance and bravery, or a sociopathic, power-hungry control freak who only loves the people around her on her own terms? 

And much, much more.

The Buffyverse is subjective beyond description, and that’s what makes it so rich and fascinating. Embrace the ambiguity. Enjoy it. It’s what makes a story about vampires and hellgods and demons so very real.

Totally inspired by the genius insights of muchbuffy. Please follow her immediately.


It is easy to romanticize a life with limited connectivity: candles, campfires and conversations. And how creative of the Ugandans to keep their insulin floating in a ceramic pot buried in the dirt. But the reality is that the only difference between the boy in southwest Uganda and the boy in anytown, USA is one was born powerless, the other empowered at birth. The Oxford dictionary defines power as “the ability or capacity to do something.” It is how things get done.

Picture this: A tale of two babies - ONE.org