Employment Contract: Elenia Volescu

Name: Elenia Volescu

Position: Geneticist

Department: Science

Reports to: Guy Fantastic

Emergency Contact/Next of Kin: Guy Fantastic

Clearance Level: A

Employment Type: Full-time, salaried

Compensation: 2,000P annually 2500P annually 1,999P annually 2,005P annually 2,007P 2G annually*

Place of Work: The Emma’s Nebula Genetics Lab

Working Hours: Weekdays 6 AM to 6 PM with hour lunch break. On call 24/7.



Residence Provided: One cot in flagship genetics lab, and all meals provided on the ship**.

Benefits: Partial Medical (Health, Vision, Dental, ADaD, Flexible Spending, Short and Long-term Disability, Hormone Therapy, Counseling and Therapy), Partial Holiday (Unlimited sick days, vacation days, and personal days taken on “as needed” basis pending supervisor approval), Partial Financial (Retirement Plan, Tuition Assistance, Home Buyer’s Stipend, Severance, Paid Jury Duty, Paid Military Leave), Partial Perks (Stock options, transportation reimbursement, life coaching, discounts across all FE departments, campus gym access, company issue holochron, company issue tablet computer, use of all valley facilities, FE swag, free copies of all Jessie Payne holodiscs***)

*Deduct 93P 6G before taxes per annum for purposes of assistant’s salary.

**Employee has elected to no longer take catered meals; reimburse for protein shakes, vacuum-packed sandwiches instead.

***Employee has requested to not receive Jessie Payne holodiscs. Per CEO’s orders, send ten copies of each new release.

Capitalism versus Freedom

Capitalism is not freedom. Capital is a condition of freedom under capitalism.

What does that mean?

In order to have “freedom” of choice, you must have capital (wealth/property).

For example, those with capital can choose not to work.

Those without capital must find employment in order to buy food, clothes, shelter, etc. or to maintain acceptable living standards, although workers often live in poverty anyway. This means they have to sell their ability to work. The capitalist exploits the worker.

Employment does not provide workers with a wage that would allow them to accumulate enough capital to leave employment. This is a form of coercion, which holds the capitalist economy together.

In other words, the purpose of the wage is to ‘keep the labourer in bare existence as a labourer’.

This is known as ‘wage slavery’.


House Republicans vote to allow employers to give workers paid time off instead of overtime pay

  • House Republicans voted on Tuesday to change how workers are paid overtime in a measure critics say is a “wolf in sheep’s clothing.”
  • The Working Families Flexibility Act — which has the support of President Donald Trump’s administration — would allow employers to give workers paid time off rather than overtime pay for logging extra hours, according to CNN.
  • While Republicans lauded the legislation as a way to give more flexibility to employees, Democrats and labor groups slammed it, arguing that because the measure gives employers the final say on when the time off is used, they can essentially delay workers’ overtime compensation. Read more (5/3/17)

You already knew the narrative of the lazy, basement-dwelling millennial was unfair, but it might also be wrong — at least in some American cities: A new report from Trulia finds that certain millennials seem to be similarly or even less likely to live with parents than members of the generation above them were.

To arrive at its findings, Trulia took two groups — young workers aged 28 to 32 and older adults aged 33 to 55 — and compared how the groups differed over the last 55 years in areas like employment, homeownership and income. Read more

Missouri Women Could Soon Be Disqualified From Jobs Based On Reproductive Decisions
Legislators aim to undo an ordinance that prevents discrimination in jobs and housing.

Lawmakers in the Missouri Senate spent more than 10 hours in a closed-door special session last week to push through Senate Bill 5, a wide-reaching anti-abortion measure that—among other things—would roll back anti-discrimination protections for women in one of that state’s major cities.

The legislation would undo a relatively recent St. Louis ordinance that prohibits potential employers and landlords from discriminating against women based on their reproductive health history. In other words, if they’ve had an abortion. Or have used birth control. Or if they are pregnant.

When the ordinance first passed last February, supporters hailed it as necessary protection for women living in a deep-red state that is considered to be “hostile” to abortion rights. Unsurprisingly, it also drew sharp criticism from several local religious groups and leaders who lamented its passage as a “terrible moment” for the city of St. Louis. In May, the St. Louis Archdiocese and several other organizations filed suit against the city of St. Louis, seeking to overturn the ordinance

Now, just months later, anti-abortion legislators in the state appear poised to topple the ordinance. The bill—which also includes other anti-abortion measures that would affect women statewide—passed the Senate late last Wednesday and is now being heard in the House Children and Families Committee. The Kansas City Star reports that it could be passed without changes and sent to the governor directly, or undergo revisions that would require the House and Senate to negotiate the differences in a special conference.

NARAL Pro-Choice Missouri—the reproductive rights advocacy group, which fought for the anti-discrimination ordinance to be passed last winter—quickly announced it was launching an online and radio ad campaign criticizing Republican Gov. Eric Greitens who called the special session. (”Do you think your boss should be able to fire you for using birth control? Governor Greitens thinks so,” one ad claims.)

A spokesperson for the group told HuffPost that before the ordinance passed last winter, NARAL had not heard of any specific cases in which women were discriminated against because of their reproductive history. But the group had not been tracking the data closely before then either.

“Under the current political administration, we are seeing more threats against women for using birth control or having an abortion. We wanted to be proactive and protect them,” Kirstin Palovick, an organizing and policy associate with
NARAL Pro-Choice Missouri, told HuffPost in an e-mail. “Since the passage of this bill, we have had at least one person make a discrimination complaint based on their reproductive health care. We know the problem is happening, and we are beginning to hear more stories about it.”

anonymous asked:

Some human bodily functions weird/creep Black Hat the fuck out. Sure he's a monster beyond human comprehension, but fuck humans are weird man.

  • “so let me get this straight. You pay a person to drill holes into your teeth once a year, so he can say you’re healthy?” “Boss, most employers offer dental insurance–” “I KNOW! I just don’t see why it’s necessary?? Your teeth would be stronger without holes, right?”
  • “You soak in dirt water every day?” “It’s called a bath, boss. It’s really relaxing, you should try–” “GROSS NO.”
  • “Wow this candy tastes disgusting.” “That’s Dementia’s lipstick.” “So?” “You don’t. You don’t eat it, sir….”
  • “You mean your body just, shuts down?? Every night??” “And eventually, we shut down forever!” “So sleep is just… practice death?” “I, I guess?”
  • “Why are you always flirting with me.” “Flirting??” “THAT! That whole eye-closey thing! Stop it!” “….that’s blinking, sir.”
  • “Okay, no, you said crying meant sadness!” “It can be anger too. Or fear. Or happiness.” “….what the fuck
  • “Stop making so many noises!!” “…You mean, breathing?” “Ugh. So obnoxious.”
If You Need Money But Can’t Get a “Regular” Job

So recently, another crowdfunding post came across my dash, asking for help for rent/bills etc because the person was unemployed (or underemployed) as was their partner. I see these posts not infrequently, and I try to donate small amounts when I can (I’m not exactly rolling in money myself). 

But I wanted to share a big tip, particularly for people who chronically have trouble making ends meet due to an inability to find solid gainful employment (often related to things like disability, LGBTQ status, etc). I don’t know how many people know this but nowadays, there is a lot of remote/work-from-home type stuff you can find on Craigslist that often require you to simply have:

  • A Paypal account
  • Basic literacy skills
  • Basic computer skills (like can you copy/paste data in an Excel doc)
  • An internet connection

You typically don’t need to “interview” for them and again, you can do them from home. They do typically have some kind of “test” to make sure you can do the work, some more rigorous than others. But again, typically if you have basic computer skills, basic literacy/math skills, can follow instructions, and have decent common sense you can do these types of jobs. 

Here is an example posting of the type of thing I mean:

You do have to look out for scams, because that can happen, but USUALLY they are legit. (I have done some before) And you will probably make less than minimum wage for your time. I won’t lie, this type of work is exploitative in the most banal sense of that it doesn’t pay you consonant to the time you will spend on it. (Indeed, this is why business do it, because it is cheaper than hiring someone to do it onsite where they’d have to pay them minimum wage and potentially give them benefits) 

BUT, I know “holding out” for what your labor is actually worth is not a luxury many people can afford. If you need money, but have a hard time getting a traditional job, this can be a way to keep your head above water, and it often circumvents some of the big problems people can have with traditional employment because they are queer, or disabled, or formerly imprisoned. 

Look for them on Craigslist job postings from big cities. Search for things like “remote” or “work from home.” (I do recommend searching within your nation, however, because often business don’t want to send money internationally because that’s a WHOLE other thing; this advice does have limitations because of that, and there probably are nations where this is not viable, so that major caveat does apply) 

Believe me, I’m not trying to shame people who are asking for money through Tumblr in order to survive. I just know that asking for donations is deeply unreliable and often not a solution that is viable long-term, even if it allows you to pay your rent this month. A lot of people simply aren’t aware that this type of work is potentially available to them, and I want to let everyone know. (Please signal boost) 

The Ballad of Captain Jackass Sparrow (aka: Two Bards and a Mutiny)

Context: The session we’re playing is called the Shaded Isles and is a homebrew gothic pirate adventure that has been lovingly crafted. Our party consists of a Goliath Rogue (Vendran), a Human Bard (Ash), a Lizardfolk Ranger (Jesk), a Tiefling Warlock (Flotsam), and a Kenku Bard (LimeWire). We’ve been hired as mercs to guard this unknown cargo from the small port we’re in to somewhere in the Shaded Isles (a group of islands supposedly cursed and definitely frequented by lycans) and our employer (a smarmy asshole of a man named Patrik) refuses to tell us what the cargo is, or let us see it. On our first day aboard the Albatross (named by one of the players), someone is seen floating in the water. We pull them up and they are resuscitated, only to be run through by Patrik, who looks us deadass in the eyes and says “No one can be allowed below deck. No survivors. No quarter will be given.”

At this point, most of us fucking hate him in-character as well as out of character and we’ve been colloquially referring to him as ‘Captain Jackass Sparrow’. Then we run into a pirate ship that is p much confirmed to be run by werewolves, one of which LimeWire (a pirate themself) recognizes as a really famous pirate captain. That’s when Capt. Jackass shoves his foot right down his gullet.

The lycans have done nothing but get close for boarding. He draws his blade–silvered–and yells “GIVE NO QUARTER!”

LimeWire (casting a p competent Vicious Mockery with an accordion after pretty much committing mutiny): YOU TWILIGHT ASS DISCOBALL MOTHERFUCKING BULLSHIT ASS BLOODSUCKER FUCKING DICKBACK USELESS MUDIR SIR!!!

(I should mention that, at this point, it’s almost confirmed by word of DM that Patrik is a vampire.)

…not too much later…

Vendran: *picks up Patrik and carries him towards the pirate ship*

LimeWire (OOC): oh….oohhhhhH!!!!


Jesk (OOC) *laughing loudly*

DM: *cackling*

Ash: I’m…I’m gonna cast Vicious Mockery as well.

DM: Are you sure? Cause-cause he still hasn’t had his turn and he has disadvantage from LimeWire’s Vicious Mocker.

Ash: Psychic Damage though…

DM: …fair point. Patrik rolled horribly so have at it. What’s your insult?

Ash: *inhale* *in a scottish accent* You’re going down, Mr. Stupid Hat-Wearing, Rat-Face, Butter Knife-Wielding, Clype-Dreep-Bachle, Gether-Uping-Blate-Maw, Bleathering, Gomeril, Jessie, Oaf-Looking, Scooner, Nyaff, Plookie, Shan, Milk-Drinking, Shit-Faced Shilpit, Mim-Moothed, Sniveling, Worm-Eyed, Hotten-Blaugh, Vile-Stoochie, Cally-Breek-Tattie!

All of us collectively lose our shit.

DM: are you? Can you say that in six seconds?

Jesk (OOC): Actually, because it deals psychic damage, it’s one second of insult being beamed directly into his head.

LimeWire (OOC): *laughing* That’s like a sniper-bullet of insult!!!

Flotsam (OOC): What????? *laughing*

DM: *laughing* you know what? I’ll allow that. Yeah…thart checks. And he takes how much psychic damage?

Ash: Four.

anonymous asked:

does tony think of peter as a son?

probably not consciously. he treats him kind of like a son sometimes, but that’s not very unusual for tony. tony has to be watched closely or he adopts stray genius children everywhere he goes.

 mostly it’s pretty long distance–he emails and videocalls them, sets up scholarships, funds research, talks them through school problems, introduces them to employers… i know for a fact that at least half of the starkphone beta testers are sleep-deprived students across the country who tony has run into at some convention or facility tour and decided to keep. some of them come to work at Stark Industries eventually, but a fair number go into other fields.

he has a strange ability to pinpoint exactly which kid in any given cluster is an untapped well of talent looking for mentoring. we have a number of bets running on if he’s doing it consciously or not. 

either way, he does it a lot.

he’s not very cuddly or touchy-feely with them, and he gets hilariously defensive if you poke him about it, but he’s actually a really good mentor, and he does really care. i mean, sometimes he uses the ‘do the exact opposite of what i would do’ method of role modelling, but…

The Dos and Don'ts of Job Searching While You’re Still Employed

Ready for a new job? Most career experts would tell you to start looking while you’re still employed. And when you do—you must tread carefully.