Because, I don’t want to be a pirate. I’m not interested in the life. Not interested in the fighting, not interested in the ships.
I don’t care much for the sea while we’re on the subject. But being a pirate on this crew for a little while longer, it offers me an opportunity I don’t believe I can find anywhere else on Earth… one big prize.
this is my fic for the stony trumps hate auction for @onemuseleft!
thank you to everyone who gave me feedback, but especially @arukou-arukou who held my hand through the creation of this fic! i’m super grateful <3
warnings: captivity, torture, medical torture, non-consensual drug use
Steve wakes to the
pinch of a needle going into his deltoid.
He jerks away
instinctively, but he’s been tied to the chair he’s seated in in
about sixteen places and he doesn’t get very far. “What are you
at him as she withdraws the needle and deposits it in a biohazard bin
on the wall. She smiles as she removes her gloves and drops them into
a trashcan under the bin. “That’s for me to know and you to find
out. I see you’re getting comfortable.”
“This is not what
I’d call comfortable, no,” Steve replies dryly. He’s embarrassed
he’d fallen asleep, but he’s been in this room nearly twenty-four
hours and while Nightshade has stopped in a few times to poke and
prod—at one point he’d been forced to let her swab his mouth—it’s
been otherwise quiet. “Where is Tony?” he asks, the way he has
every time she visits.
She ignores him and
the simmering anger in Steve’s chest boils over abruptly. “Tell me
what you did with him! If you hurt him—”
nothing,” Nightshade says, turning back at the door. “Captain
America is impotent.” She smirks. “I like you this way.”
Steve yells his
fury, straining at the bindings and Nightshade watches him, cool and
unimpressed. He can’t break them between the material and his lack of
leverage and they both know it.
The door closes
behind her with a resounding clang.
I've been trying to get into the adventure zone, everyone says it's super good, but I heard the first episode and? It seems really slow, does the plot pick up later on?
ALRIGHT SO.. unless you’re familiar with The McElroy Brand (“My Brother My Brother and Me” specifically since that’s where the first episode originally came from) I never recommend starting with Episode One. Start with 1.5 because it’s a supercut of the good parts of Episode 1.
Don’t let that first impression or the fact that there are currently 66 episodes turn you off of listening. The plot really picks up after The Griffin Original Content™ kicks in (about halfway through “Here There Be Gerblins”) so… STRAP IN. You’re in for a RIDE.
& not to sound fake cheesy or anything, but it’s not just “super good”. It’s a phenomenal podcast with fantastic writing, tons of laughs, real/complex characters, countless lovable NPCs, LGBT+ representation, bangin’ music (written by Griffin himself), and an original story that will absolutely break your heart in the best possible way. You WON’T regret listening.
I like Mary. I think she's awesome. I don't see why she has to be evil.
Oh, boy, okay.
Listen you can like Mary all you want – I loved her too before the fucked up her entire story arc – but her entire arc was building up to be a villain, and a badass one that was going to go down with a fight.
I’m REALLY not trying to be pedantic here, Nonny, but asks like this force me to pull out receipts, all of which I’m sure you’re not going to read, because who likes to be proved wrong, but I digress. I always end up sounding more harsh than I am when all I want to do is educate you on my perspective and what the narrative is teaching us.
THAT’S Why she’s a villain. When a character kills the title character of a show, they are coded as the bad guy unless they do a redemption arc that actually is a redemption.
Mary had NO redemption arc AT ALL. Even in S4, Mary is STILL manipulating and emotionally abusing Sherlock and John against each other with her fucking creepy-assed DVDs and her belittling of John in T6T. She still runs off to go do her little assassin things and still lied and manipulated everyone. And I know the argument is going to come up, but Mary’s gunshot was NOT a redemption. A redemption arc has the ex-villain doing a good deed and being genuinely sorry for their past actions. Not ONCE Mary has ever apologized for any of the shit she put everyone through. All of it was a plan, especially if she had creepy DVDs made FAIRLY RECENTLY (you can tell because of the hair style) to send out to people. Also:
YOU ARE EVIL IF YOU ACTIVELY OR POSTHUMOUSLY TELL SOMEONE TO GO KILL THEMSELVES.
That and Mary’s entire death scene was RIDICULOUS and completely contradicted EVERY rule that was established in this universe only 2 episodes prior on how characters die.
Nonny, Mary’s character arc is one I have been passionate about for many years, even before I was a Johnlocker, because her character was fascinating to me, and helped me understand the psychology and make sense of events that were happening in my life at the time. Right up until TAB, Mary was being coded as the next Moriarty. For some reason or another, Mofftiss decided to turn her into an “assassin with an heart of gold” and failed spectacularly.
If Mary truly was good, she WOULD HAVE TOLD JOHN FROM THE BEGINNING WHO SHE WAS, OR AT LEAST TOLD SHERLOCK SHE NEEDED HELP. HLV would have not played out as it did. Instead deciding that killing Sherlock was her only option so that she could continue to manipulate John, since she knew he was most malleable when he was grieving Sherlock.
You can read Mary’s character however you want, I could care less… well okay apparently I do because of this reply… But please, seriously consider that what became of her character really made no goddamned sense to the narrative arc the built for her and quite frankly really lazy writing. Just because she is a woman, doesn’t mean that she is nice and sweet and not abusive. Excusing her of her brand of emotional abuse and manipulation is really sexist.
ummmm painful first question wow?? Definitely.. neither… wtf. I think emotionally Andrew might be more likely to be just callous enough that Neil takes it to heart, but it would be like,, almost impossible bc they understand each other so well. Maybe when Neil is really baring his soul and andrew is still walking that indifferent line. Maybe when andrew graduates and neil forgets andrew’s brand of emotional distance bc there’s REAL distance to contend with, you feel
who is emotionally stronger?
Neil had to be emotionally strong for so long, and he doesn’t have to be anymore. But ANDREW….. his emotions are out of order like he’s built a safe around himself and neil just happens to have the access code
who is physically stronger?
AndreW this isn’t even a debate Neil is lithe and wiry and andrew can pick him up with one hand. Like if you don’t think Andrew’s biceps are shredding his t-shirts we didn’t read the same book ://
who is more likely to break a bone?
Neil breaks his bones walking down the stairs my guy. That little bastard never outgrows being a hazard. Also he’s an aggressor in Exy, my boy has 2% regard for his own wellbeing, ball is life, etc. I can’t in my life imagine smooth and cold as steel Andrew breaking anything that isn’t someone else’s
who knows best what to say to upset the other?
Okay andrew has that cultivated distance but neil is….. a machine. Remember when he kept provoking andrew about his assault bc he wanted a response out of him?? Like,, yeah. Neil knows how to take out the one brick that will topple a person. He’s sharp and scathing and aware of people’s weakness (Andrew’s more than anyone’s)
who is most likely to apologize first after an argument?
Also Neil man he drops a bomb and walks away but he starts to come back more and more. He starts to realize that arguments =/= break ups, and apologies =/= weakness. He starts fights and he fuckin finishes them. He loves andrew more than he loves the upper hand
who treats who’s wounds more often?
>_> andrew is down here on the side of the court dabbing disinfectant on neil’s gashes once a WEEK. (Andrew? won’t let anyone else touch neil??)
who is in constant need of comfort?
Both. They have a lifetime of hurt that needs untangling and andrew’s in there cutting through neil’s with scissors, neil’s talking until andrew forgets his
It’s symbiotic - their relationship is built on comfort, you know? it thrives on it
who gets more jealous?
I think Andrew because Neil doesn’t….. know jealousy. Like he hasn’t met her. Someone could be straight up grabbing Andrew’s ass and Neil would be like huh. friendship is evolving so fast. Andrew is very quietly furiously jealous and it’s sort of? all the time? Like he got in so deep so fast that he’s jealous of the foxes, and people at the bar, and he’s jealous of like.. exy
spoilers it’s andrew for practical purposes because romance is a foreign land that they will only visit if someone’s life hangs in the balance
who has the most difficult parents?
who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public?
I think andrew makes a grab for neil’s hand if he’s stressed about wherever they are? LIke contact is actually a big part of the way andrew protects. But I think Neil obsesses over andrew’s hands and he’ll try it, and andrew usually doesn’t care enough to pull away. They both feel like 5% safer linked like that. Their armbands brush. It’s gay
who comes up for the other all the time?
Like in conversation??? andrew. neil can’t shut up, next
who hogs the blankets?
Andrew dude he’s contrary catch him in all black wearing knives huddled in a blanket fort with a pint of ben and jerry’s. Neil is a very still sleeper he doesn’t move like.. at all. Andrew’s a restless & light sleeper, and he’ll take advantage of any comfort he can get
who gets more sad?
hi they’re always sad… sorry about it…. anyway
who is better at cheering the other up?
Andrew’s better because he doesn’t like. try. Not in any obvious, quantifiable way, anyway. He gives neil space when he needs it and coddles him when he needs it. He’s a hand on the back of his neck. He’s a force of nature that Neil gets so caught up in that he forgets, for a second, that he’s living on borrowed time
who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?
who is more streetwise?
I gotta say neil bc I think he’s got like a catalogue of personas and experiences inside him. Like I think he could successfully blend into a lot of situations, that’s straight up what kept him alive
who is more wise?
Andrew is brilliant tbh he’s got that eidetic memory and that understated intensity towards understanding things like I don’t think there’s a question you could ask that would stump him
who’s the shyest?
define shy like neither of them they’re unrepentant bastards who’ll tell you exactly what they think of you. BUT i mean. Neil is the slowest moving glacier of emotional availability I’ve ever seen so like if you wanna call that shy then def him
who boasts about the other more?
Again…. neil can’t shut the fuck up….. the amount of times he mouths off about having the best goalie in the world on their team in interviews,, wymack is grey
like actually neil is gobsmacked by andrew and he EXPECTS that everyone else be too
Kwon Ji Yong is an amazing performer. I’ve never left a venue feeling the way I did after seeing him perform. He took us on a journey of what it is to be a man who is over shadowed by his own brand. An emotional roller coaster which gave insight to the constant struggles that idols face. Idols who trade a bit of their humanity to remain in the public eye. His performance was raw and real, it wasn’t just a concert it was a diary of his life.
Who is G Dragon? A superstar. A legend. Untouchable.
Who is Kwon Ji Yong? A son. A friend. Human.
Gather round brothers and sisters of the Naruto fandom, because this shit needs to be preached. There are certain characters in this show that do not receive the love that they deserve and I’m here to share who I think needs some more admiration and a round of fucking applause. Note; down to personal preference, so please feel free to share yours. Haku – This guy has such a beautiful concept of morality around him which is to be loyal to your friend, do anything for them; but the dark twist is that he is willing to get himself killed, being completely selfless and never regarding his own desires. Yet this is the touching part. His one desire, his dream is to be used by this friend. Considers him a master. But imagine that; being so devoted to someone that nothing else matters, and never feeling afraid because they make you feel at home. This character represents the selfless outlook on life, living to help others and find happiness in others happiness. This is why Haku is my favourite character. He also has a fucking cool mask.
Zabuza Momochi – What can I say? He’s gorgeous and was the first ever proper villain introduced to the show and manga. Sure there was Mizuki, but fuck him he was a pilot episode villain. But what’s more? Zabuza was a villain who redeemed himself. Maybe not completely, but he realised his faults and is just an over all nostalgic character. If that’s not enough to convince you – he has sharp teeth (fantastic for kinky biting during foreplay) and he’s great with kids. I can proudly admit that Zabuza is my number 1 anime crush. Ooooh how I wanna tear those bandages off and whisper “bite me stud muffin, biiiiiiteeee.”
Sai – He is a character that can change your views on how to live your life. In all seriousness, although he has no concept of “emotions” he is actually a very complex character and is my favourite character to write about. Constantly he asks questions to find out more about the world and its many different attributes and ways of living. I find him a fantastic character because he shows that juxtaposition between innocence and selfish people. Of course, Sai is no innocent guy. When he is introduced, he comments on Naruto’s balls right away (like damn, he is my spirit animal). However, he is brought into this world outside ROOT, having forgotten about emotions so he’s basically brand new to the whole human interaction thing beside doing missions. He is always so curious, asking questions based on the values of friendship and based off from the responses from those he asks, it really goes to show how much we take the small things in life for granted. Sai makes us realise the beauty in life, that the small things really are meaningful – we just need to cure our blindness to see them.
Ino Yamanaka – By far my favourite kunoichi if we exclude the older generation. Overall out of the women she is ranked 4th so pretty damn high. Most of the reason why I believe she needs more appreciation is because she is the Yang to Sai’s Yin. She was one of those who actually took time to talk to Sai and that’s why I called it from the start that they would end up together. With Ino’s way of living, being this very independent and outgoing girl, she would be perfect in teaching Sai emotions without coming across as well, a bitch. And may I emphasise her strength as a shinobi. During the war, she was informed that her father was going to die. She cried for less than a minute and then got over it with a snap of her fingers, proceeding onto a very important battle plan – connecting to the minds of the allied shinobi forces. Plus, we all love a scary mother. She scares Inojin with love <3 Note; Ino and Sai fucked. Can you imagine how romantic that would have been? Her coaxing him through it? *wiggles eyebrows*
Tsunade Senju & Mei Terumi – The reason I have put them together is because it’s for the same reasons. They are both just very empowering women, inspiring also. One of my favourite fights is the Five Kage vs. Madara Uchiha. Mei’s being all awesome with her lava (her voice is brilliant – that seductive charm) and Tsunade delivers a final blow – she fucking cracks Madara’s Susano'o. Not to mention they are both Kage and the first women to be Kage ever. Mei restores the Hidden Mist’s reputation from being the “Bloody Mist” (courtesy of Yagura – FUCKING OBITO YOU CUNT NUGGET) to an “Alright Mist” or whatever. Basically, she had to pick up the pieces left by some asshole (OBITO). And Tsunade, to me – the strongest of the sannin. She is also responsible for Sakura, Ino and Tenten becoming kick ass. Tenten wasn’t her apprentice but was initially inspired by her. Note; I love Obito, he’s my favourite character (joint with Haku). My poor onion baby~
Kisame Hoshigaki – His back story plays a major role in this. From the beginning he had been obeying rules, this strict code and always remained loyal to the mission. He killed his teammates (one whom he may have had feelings for) for the sake of the mission but the reason I admire him is because he never complains about how sad his life is. He killed is teammates like it was no fucking deal. Even the girl who possessed romantic feelings for him. Furthermore, though be it subtle, he represents discrimination that is present in the world we know of today. Because of his skin colour / origins, he is isolated more so in the Akatsuki. Every time I see him, I always get the vibe of how lonely he is and how he’s perhaps trying to fit into the world but it does not work – because of the cruel path he has chosen. To remain loyal to the mission, never let the code fall into enemy hands; and perhaps his constant discrimination and isolation is what made him choose this way of living. I got your back, Kisame. You will always have beautiful eyes to both Killer B and I.
Kakuzu – Right, I’m going to say it straight out. He’s fucking hot people. He has killer back muscle, arms that flex perfectly (imagine those arms being either side of your body UNF UNF, PIN ME TO THE WALL AND RAVISH MEEEEE) and he has a temper that a stereotypical love sick teen would feel like they could change. Can you imagine trying to calm that hot junk down? Okay, you may actually die before you could even try, but if you survive long enough to put your hands on his cheeks— Okay, back to why he needs to be appreciated more. His history was fucking cruel. He failed to assassinate the Hokage (baring in mind, he must of put up a pretty good fight to be able to walk away alive) and his reward for coming back alive, with intel on what Hashirama’s abilities are (that could be of great use for future plans)? Imprisonment and torture. What. The. Fuck. It actually makes me empathise with Kakuzu. His own village tortures him which should be what another village would do if they captured you so you can understand why he killed the village elders and left. Remember, he escaped from prison – so not only is he strong but intelligent. And fun fact; those tattoos around his wrists – shows how many times he’s been in prison. He is strong as fuck, immortal and has sexy stitches that could be great foreplay (*cough* tentaclepornwhat *cough*) Basically, I just want him to be my sugar daddy
Konan – Perhaps the most divine, serene and enchanting character. There are many religious connotations around her being an angel of death / judgement but her way of thinking it what intrigues me. She appears so monotone and unmoved by everything, all but a mask that covers up her tragic past. It gives me goosebumps just thinking about how after Nagato’s death, she ruled over Amegakure, guarding where Nagato’s and Yahiko’s bodies were and we actually see her smile as she looks up to the sky, thinking about the legacy both Nagato and Naruto have left behind. Konan fights Tobi with bravery and determination to protect their legacy and dreams. My favourite quote by her “I will be the pillar that supports their bridge of peace” and the rainbow appearing behind her was definitely one of the most memorable moments for me. To the very end, she fought Tobi, intending to bring an end to the evil he has caused – only to be strangled to death. The reason I find her death so tragic is because of how mundane it is. Many characters went out with a bang but Konan died from something that anyone could easily do, thus representing how there is no hope (at this point) at all of achieving peace and her fight was for nothing. A sad way for an angel to die
Kabuto Yakushi – Now don’t get me wrong. I don’t like this fucker. Dislike him a lot (although I sympathise with him). He needs appreciation because of how far he had come. His past was very sad, from the moment he entered the orphanage. This may sound evil, but I love seeing kid Kabuto cry. Because it’s so fucking cute. And those big glasses- awh, baby lemme hug you. And what ROOT had done was evil yet so clever with the photo manipulation and over all, Kabuto just did a lot of shit – trying to be someone he’s not and comes to the conclusion that being himself was all he ever needed to be. A moral that all of us must follow. Note; When I first saw Nun Kabuto, I wanted to laugh but then I was like “good for you, son.” and patted him on the back (of my laptop screen.)
So far, this is all I have. There are others that need appreciation, but those above are the ones that needed detail. Personally, I still feel characters such as Itachi and Sakura need more appreciation but maybe for another time. Feel free to add on your NCA’s (Naruto Characters Appreciation) and I’ll definitely check them out. Have a good day!