When you get the inevitable “Are you okay?” or “How are you feeling?” you can simply say, “I’m processing. Thanks for asking.” That way, you’re not offering up your exact feelings for discussion, nor are you saying something opposite of your current truth just to make things easier for you or them.
Even when you’re feeling jealous, you’re still in control. Jealousy is like that creepy guy sitting behind the king whispering in his ear, ‘The ambassador has just insulted you most grievously, Your Grace! Attack his lands at once! Raze his villages!’ But remember, you’re still the king. You don’t have to set the world on fire and run off to live in a cave, no matter how satisfying that sounds.
—  Franklin Veaux & Eve Rickert, More Than Two
And then I realized that I was falling in love. From the way he would gently brush his fingers on my palms and I would melt into hot lava. I endlessly desired to swim in the profound colours of his eyes and to kiss him like he was oxygen and I couldn’t breathe. He slowly became everything I ever wanted. My only desire.
—  Written by: lostwond3rs.tumblr.com

Frequently, the people closest to us encourage us to feel better as soon as we can, often doing so from a place of love. They love us – and so they find it hard to see us feeling anything but good, which prompts them to go into fix-a-feeling mode. It’s because they care, and it’s because it’s a human tendency to avoid pain and to seek pleasure.

When we recognize that tendency, we can let our loved ones off the hook for being positivity pushers by using compassion and understanding for their perspectives without compromising our own needs. We can do that by letting them know that we’re not ready for a different feeling (because that’s all it is, a different feeling – not necessarily a better one or a more helpful one).

We can also offer that same compassion to ourselves by recognizing our human tendency to want to pull away from discomfort and go towards feelings that may feel easier to manage or that make people comfortable around us.