When you have a broken heart, the first thing a stranger will ask is ‘how long were you two together?’ As if your pain can be determined by how long you were with someone. Or if you were with them at all. I don’t think that’s how it works. I think unrequited love is just as valid as any other kind. It’s just as crushing and just as thrilling.
Learning to be mindful, to focus, to breathe will help make the application of the modules be more effective. It is paramount to your success in reducing stress and coping.
Remember: Sometimes the skills will not work. This is when you need to quickly go to the Distress Tolerance module and take taking a vacation from the situation that you are in, practice radical acceptance, do a lot of self soothe, and distract activities.
The key to success is the practice of DBT skills.
Overview of DBT skills:
MINDFULNESS (Wise Mind):
Using the HOW Skills:
Using Crisis Survival: Distraction with Wise Mind ACCEPTS
Emotions - use opposite
Using Self Sooth with five senses
Using IMPROVE the moment
One thing at a time
Using Pros and Cons
Using Accepting Reality
Turning your mind
Using Reduce Vulnerability: (Please)
P & L Treat Physical Illness
Altering Drugs (no drugs unless it is medication to be taken as prescribed by your doctor)
We seldom realise, for example, that our most private thoughts and emotions are not actually our own. For we think in terms of languages and images which we did not invent but which were given to us by our society.