When you have a broken heart, the first thing a stranger will ask is ‘how long were you two together?’ As if your pain can be determined by how long you were with someone. Or if you were with them at all. I don’t think that’s how it works. I think unrequited love is just as valid as any other kind. It’s just as crushing and just as thrilling.

Is this what closure feels like?
The realization that true love can fail
And the fact that that is okay?

I don’t want to love you anymore
I have broken free
So even if you are wonderful
And trust me, you are
This is the end.

I am not angry,
I am not sad,
I do not regret
I do not want you to want to forget

This is the last of these poems
And I do not want to write any more

It has to be this way,
When love loses.

—  “When Love Loses,” Poems to Beatrice.
DBT Skills List

Learning to be mindful, to focus, to breathe will help make the application of the modules be more effective. It is paramount to your success in reducing stress and coping.

Remember: Sometimes the skills will not work. This is when you need to quickly go to the Distress Tolerance module and take taking a vacation from the situation that you are in, practice radical acceptance, do a lot of self soothe, and distract activities.  

The key to success is the practice of DBT skills.

Overview of DBT skills:

MINDFULNESS (Wise Mind):

  • Wise Mind: 
    • Observe
    • Describe
    • Participate
  • Using the HOW Skills:
    • Non-judgmentally
    • One-mindfully
    • Effectively

DISTRESS TOLERANCE

  • Using Crisis Survival: Distraction with Wise Mind ACCEPTS
    • Activities
    • Contributing
    • Comparisons
    • Emotions - use opposite
    • Pushing Away
    • Thoughts
    • Sensations
  • Using Self Sooth with five senses
    • Taste
    • Smell
    • See
    • Hear
    • Touch
  • Using IMPROVE the moment
    • Imagery
    • Meaning
    • Prayer
    • Relaxation
    • One thing at a time
    • Vacation
    • Encouragement
  • Using Pros and Cons
  • Using Accepting Reality
    • Willingness
    • Turning your mind
    • Radical Acceptance

EMOTION REGULATION

  • Using Reduce Vulnerability: (Please)
    • P & L Treat Physical Illness
    • Eating
    • Altering Drugs (no drugs unless it is medication to be taken as prescribed by your doctor)
    • Sleep
    • Exercise
  • Using Build Mastery
  • Build Positive experiences
  • Be mindful of current emotion
  • Opposite to emotion action

INTERPERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS

  • Using Objectiveness effectiveness: (Dear Man)
    • Describe
    • Express
    • Assert
    • Reinforce
    • Mindful
    • Appear Confident
    • Negotiate
  • Using Relationship Effectiveness: (Give)
    • Gentle
    • Interested
    • Validate
    • Easy Manner
  • Self-respect effectiveness: (Fast)
    • Fair
    • Apologies (no Apologies)
    • Stick to value
    • Truthful

(Source)

To All Tomorrow’s Parties #37

(The New Reflections go on #92 / The New Abstracts #164)
Calexico, Tres Avisos
Basile Pesso-Paris © October 2 012
My Blip / My web magazine : Yes We Are (links) with Allen Djogzic aka Djole Allen as The Side Look of a Barcelonese #515
…and thanks a lot to Darkest Music, Liiivvyc, JlWerpin and Shea Butter 96 for the reblog of an image that I absolutely love : Perspectives in the Night (link) !

Ferta

Cat Power, Cross Bones Style
Basile Pesso-my BCN © 26 October 2 015-First broadcast then in link
My Blip / My web magazine : Yes We Are (links)
…and thanks a lot to The Wolves at Night, Yo No Comprendo and Shea Butter 96 for the reblog of an image that I totally totally love : Les Fourches du Diable (link) !

The life of an artist.

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