emotionificationing

ok but do you know

do you know about the seder

so you get together with your family and a bunch of people and tell this really long story and everyone reads different parts and there’s lots of table-banging and singing and yelling and you have to drink four cups of wine but everyone ends up drinking like ten and you eat all these different foods but you have to eat the foods in order with special blessings and it takes three fricken hours to get past all the ceremonial stuff, but then you eat this massive meal, like, lots of delicious food and if you’re lucky, if you’re LUCKY it’s around midnight then god help you if it’s later then that but THEN is when the extremely loud off-tune singing starts and you just sing and yell things in hebrew for like two hours and by the end of it it’s anywhere between one and five am and everyone is really exhausted and more than a little drunk but filled with this really fuzzy warmth from all the food and singing and story-telling and idk it’s just really nice???? Religion can be lots of fun sometimes yeah

anonymous asked:

My mom has a short temper. Also I don't have the best grades ( and general history with school ) so she doesn't have much faith in me at all. If I were to be kidnapped, she'd be more mad at me for letting myself get kidnapped than mad at the napper for taking me.

She has no idea what she’s doing. She is not treating you the way you should be treated. There is no reason why your history with school should make you any less deserving of love and respect. Remember that. And know that you’ll be able to leave her behind you and surround yourself with people who will honestly love you for who you are.

anonymous asked:

So, I'm kind of embarrassed to say this all, but I just have to get this off my chest. I've always hated girls who whine about needing or wanting a relationship; the ones who go through life treating them as if being in one is just another "fact" of life, like it would will magically solve all their problems. I've looked down on them with disdain for so long, but for the past three months I've just been so lonely. I want someone to share my life with, to share my secrets, my fears, my dreams; to

[btw-this is the first in a series of messages I got, with the other ones elaborating on anon’s worries about ending up alone! Also I’m sorry I answered so late and I hope that anon gets to see this message!]

First of all. Don’t hate yourself for feeling like this. Don’t feel like this desire somehow makes you weak. The desire to have someone you cherish, someone you love, is universal. Yes, in some people it is stronger then others. But by realizing that quality in yourself you are not “giving in” or being hypocritical—It just happens that, at this point in your life, you feel that way. That’s it. It is honestly okay to feel that you want a romantic relationship. You are not weak because of that. You are human. Do not beat yourself up for it. 

I also understand, from what you’ve told me, that you feel as if there is no hope for you at all. That you’ll never find someone, and that you’ll end up alone. You will not. Think about your friends, your family. Think about all the people who you will meet over your lifetime. You are very, very young. You have so many years ahead of you, so many people to meet, so many things to do. I know how easy it is to be swallowed up by negative thoughts. I know how hard it is to see beyond the here and now. But you must try to realize that this is not the end, this is not what the rest of  your life is going to be like. You will not end up alone. You will not end up alone.

Your other concern is that you have nothing to give to others, and that socially and physically you are not likely to be the subject of affection. NONE OF THAT IS TRUE. Look at everyone around you. Look at the people who have friends and lovers. Look at yourself. Looking like a hollywood star is not a requirement for being in a romantic relationship! Being perfect and conventionally attractive according to society’s standards is not a requirement for being a person someone can love! Even if you can’t accept that you are beautiful, try to remember that this should not, and WILL NOT, dictate ANYTHING IN YOUR LIFE. As far as the social graces go: for heaven’s sake. Very few people are actually good at that stuff. Try to remember that practically everyone is on the same page as you. Everyone struggles  with this stuff. It’s honestly ok. It’s ok to mess up sometimes. We all keep growing and developing and I’m sure you will, too.

At this point in time, you are frustrated with yourself and what you perceive as your shortcomings. But trust me when I say that this isn’t it. You will not end up alone. You are pretty damn fantastic, because you know what? everyone is. We all have insecurities and it’s very, very rare to find someone who feels completely confident with themselves; what you need to do is  remember that these negative thoughts going through your mind are fooling you. They are clouding your vision. They are not allowing you to see the truth—the truth that it’s okay, that you’re okay, that you’re more than okay. Even if you can’t accept this as fact right now, believe in a day when you can say to yourself that you are not afraid. Believe in a day when you can accept yourself for who you are, in all your flaws. Believe in a day that you can look at yourself in the mirror and can be satisfied, or even happy.  Cling to that future, and know that it will get you through this. 

Now, I don’t know anything about you past what you have told me in this ask. But believe me when I say that everyone, every single person, no matter what they look like or how confident they are in themselves and what they have to offer, is worthy of love. Including you, okay? I’m sure of it.  

anonymous asked:

I find it really hard to get motivated to anything, like REALLY hard. My mum is starting to find it annoying that I don't want to do anything, even the stuff I used to want to do. But I'm not sad or anything, it's just I find it really hard, and it makes me feel guilty when I don't get and do it. Also when people give 'inspirational' talks everyone else is saying 'omg that was so inspirational' and I'm just sitting there like 'You hear that stuff almost everyday its not inspiring any more'

I’ve had similar phases. In this case, there are two things you can do. The first is just to wait and let it pass, because these sorts of things generally do. However, if you feel like you want to regain that motivation and that drive, there are steps you can take to work toward that goal.

Stay hyper-aware of yourself. If you feel even a glimmer of a feeling akin to the motivation you used to have, cling to it. If you find something, anything that makes you get off your butt, try to figure out why it does that and then keep doing it. Try lots of different things until you find something that you feel especially inclined to follow through with. Small steps. But small steps lead to bigger steps, you know.

Actually, the very fact that you’re concerned about this, that you feel guilty, shows that you’ve already taken the first steps to solving it. 

anonymous asked:

e it turned out the day before had been my Dads birthday. I was so devastated because me and my family are really close but I wasn't going home for another week and I felt SO TERRIBLE and I was sitting on a rock while everyone was cliff jumping with my head down just crying and he came over and asked if I was okay and I just sort of shook my head and he crouched down and sat beside me and held me while I cried it out on his shoulder and did i mention he MADE ME A ROSE OUT OF METAL IN SHOP CLASS

OKAY THIS IS TOO ADORABLE OKay you hold on to that fella, girl you hold ON TO HIM OK

anonymous asked:

I want to thank you for that post. There's a reason i don't get along with my mother, and that's it. She doesn't respect me, and she doesn't listen. And that's gotten me into situations where I didn't have anyone to turn to, where I was depressed, and it's made the past ten years of my life miserable. I've never been able to talk to her or go to her with my problems because she will patronize me or even make fun of me. So thank you. It's nice to know people care about this issue.

Damn RIGHT I care about this issue.

You, and so, so many others. You, and—I’m positive about this—a significant majority of people have parents like this. It needs. To STOP. It is SO IMPORTANT.

I wish you good luck. I hope that you can, one day, break away from your mother. 

Even though it is your RIGHT to receive that respect from your parents, and they have not treated you the way you should be treated, know that there are countless others who WILL give you that respect and unconditional love.

anonymous asked:

my mum lies to everyone about how she treats me and how i treat her and why my dad left. she can be incredibly emotionally abusive but some days she isn't at all and it kills me waiting for the days where i can't even be around

Hold onto that day in the future where you can get the HELL away from her and everything she has said to you and done to you and surround yourself with people who will respect you and love you and give you the emotional support you need and deserve. Because those people are out there. They really, truly, are. Remember this. Keep it in the back of your mind, always. When she starts on you again, hold it and repeat it and believe it with absolute conviction, because it’s TRUE. And if you ever need to talk, I’m here.

anonymous asked:

My relationship with my parents fluctuates from day to day and year to year. A couple years ago I found this thing in a self help book about different kinds of listening, and I showed it to them, trying to explain that sometimes I wasn't looking for advice or a life-lesson, I was just looking for someone to listen to a problem I might have. They became very angry, said that was selfish, and to this day haven't really let me live it down. I still don't talk to them about any personal problems.

That’s exactly what I’m talking about.

I’m really sorry that your parents reacted that way. I’m really, really sorry that they have become people who will not, and cannot, be there for you in that respect. Just know that there are so many others in this world who can fill that place. You are not alone.

anonymous asked:

I'm about 99% positive I'm asexual but nobody I've told seems to take it seriously and if anything they think that somethings wrong with me. It's hard to tell them that there isn't anything wrong with me when I sort of feel that way myself, like this isn't how I'm supposed to be. :/

There is NOTHING wrong with you.

There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with you at all. You are human being just like the rest of us and we all feel that way sometimes or all the time because of how society treats certain conditions or sexualities or personal preferences but the important thing to remember here is that “society” DOESN’T MATTER. I know how hard it is to accept something about yourself when other people make you feel wrong for it. I struggle with that every day, practically; and I’m not going to pretend I’m 100% ok with it, because I’m not. But just know that there are people out there and communities out there who believe you and accept you and who will give you the support you need. Even if the people in your life right now are brushing you off, you are going to meet so many people over the course of your lifetime; you will find others who will listen to you and believe you. 

Try to hold on, my dear. It’s hard, but I know you can do it. Self-acceptance is a long road, but you’re not alone. You’re never alone. Maybe you could try talking to other people who are going through similar stuff. Other asexual people who can talk to you about it and give you advice. I know you can find someone or a community of people through tumblr!

Good Luck! And remember, there is nothing wrong with your sexuality or lack thereof. Honest to goodness. 

anonymous asked:

I have a good friend who is a girl, and she is pretty tall. Shes like 5'9 or something. And she gets really down because it is hard to find a taller guy. However, we have a friend is is taller than her, super cute, nice, smart, funny, dopey, and basically perfect for her. Whenever I bring him up she says that he is out of her league or that it could never happen, but I know that if she built up a little more confidence she would go for it, as would he. How do I convince them to just go for it!?

In this case, I think the only thing you can do is keep encouraging her. Constantly. She may brush it off, but there must be a part of her that is thinking—what if? What if I actually did it? Because there’s a little voice like that in all of us, I think. 

The effectiveness of different types of encouragement on her also depends on the kind of person she is, something which I cannot really figure out from this ask.  Well, I can see that she has some self-esteem and self-confidence issues. In that case, she herself needs to realize that it’s worth a shot, that there’s nothing really stopping her. In order for her to come to that conclusion, she needs constant outside encouragement. Try coming at her from different angles, making her consider every side of the issue. Something’s gonna get through her skull.

Or, you could try pulling the “what the hell we’re all going to die anyway” argument. Or the time-tested “will you remember this in 20 years? NO” argument. Or, you could just talk to her flatly and try to get to the heart of the issue—why do you feel that you have no chance with him? Why do those factors make you feel like he’s out of your league? What can you do to dispel those negative (and probably self-deprecating) feelings? That’s what I would do, honestly.

anonymous asked:

People always tell me that this kind of total insecurity and lack of belief in the quality of everything you do or are is a phase and that it eventually goes away, but I just can't even imagine that. I can't even remember having confidence. I know some people do, but I just don't see how I can go from being really insecure and hating everything about myself to believing in my abilities, for whatever reason. It's so hard to believe that it could happen. I wish I could just shake myself out of it.

First of all: It is absolutely, genuinely ok to feel like it’ll never end.

I’ve learned that my approach really doesn’t work when others with these emotional difficulties try to apply it. I’m talking 90% of the time. My memory is fuzzy, but I can remember feeling that same exact way, too. It’s only now that I can objectively look back on that period of my life.

My advice then is to hold on to something. Anything. For me, it was books; no matter how horrible I felt about myself or my life or my future there would always be good books to read. Even if the rest of my life ended up being miserable, I could always receive happiness from reading. Hang on to those little things, because they make all the difference.

I’m a very rational person. I think like a scientist. This, I think, is why I’ve found that reasoning through these difficult stages works perfectly for me. I know it won’t work for everything else. But I bet you–no, I assure you–that there’s something out there that’ll work for you, that’ll get you through this. You just have to find it.

Try and hold on, okay? And I’m here if you ever need to talk. Talking helps a whole lot.

anonymous asked:

so first of all... im a spoiled child, i wont deny it. but whenever i happen to break down crying my parents completely ignore me and say things to make it worse. If i told them im broken inside, they wouldnt believe me and label it as complete BS and have before . They never listen to what i truly have to say.

One again, I must say: Even though it is your RIGHT to receive that respect from your parents, and they have not treated you the way you should be treated, know that there are countless others who WILL give you that respect and unconditional love. Stay strong, okay?

anonymous asked:

i have problems being social mostly online I feel like when I want to be friends with somebody and I talk to them I annoy them and they hate me and if you're my friend I think you hate me too I'm scared to lose a friend or offend anyone or make anyone mad so I just shut up and not talk at all and try not attract attention because they are mean people out there yo and most people intimidate me and I don't understand why some people like me,, gotta continue this in another ask

((I really hope you get to see this response! I am super sorry I couldn’t answer you last night.))

Here’s what I think. I think that you have a very negative view of yourself. You harp on what you see as your own personality flaws and social failures. So, you expect others to see you in that light, too. It’s a tough rut to get out of. But you know what? You are not annoying. You do not make other people angry or offended. You are just the same as anyone else, with your quirks and flaws as well as your kindness and amiability. Think about how you yourself perceive people on the street, your classmates, your family and acquaintances and friends. You don’t put them under a microscope and start picking out their every failure as a person, do you? And vice versa. You are not constantly under a microscope. It’s okay to mess up sometimes with other people; everyone does it. But I don’t think you mess up as much as you think you mess up. 

You will meet so many people over the course of your life. Some of them, you will get along with. Some of them you won’t. Some you won’t be able to stand, and yes, some of them won’t be able to stand YOU. But the people who DO view you negatively are not people you want to pay any mind to. Because—and you MUST try to believe this—there will always be people who will laugh at your jokes and sleep on your shoulder during car rides and hug you when you’re feeling sad, people who will want to spend lots and lots of time with you. You will find those people, and they will find you.

The key to this is just to stop caring. Do not worry about how other people perceive you when you speak with them. Do not worry about driving people away with how you act or speak. You are you, and you are just fine. Every time you find yourself in a social situation, remember this: Others do not see you in the same negative light in which you see yourself. Even if that dark voice in the back of your head is screaming at you, even if you’re shaking in your boots. Others do not see you in the same negative light in which you see yourself. 

Good Luck. I know you can get through this! ((And remember I’m always here if you need to talk to me uvu))

anonymous asked:

I've realized recently that I suffer from some sort of anxiety (I guess?); I get anxious, and I feel like everyone is watching me, and I start feeling like everything I do is wrong. But I always feel stupid, like I'm being dramatic, because it's not as bad as some people's anxiety, and I convinced myself for so long that it was nothing. I guess I just wanted to admit that to someone? I'm going to try going to talk to a counselor, but I'm really nervous...

First of all: do not worry about what your anxiety is like in comparison to the severity of other people’s anxiety. The important thing is for you to be happy, for you to do what you need to do for yourself. Don’t  tell yourself that your issues are insignificant. You have just as much of a right to be happy as anyone else. 

I think it’s amazing, and very, very strong, that you’ve recognized it for what it is and are thinking about taking steps to make yourself feel better. Really, that’s absolutely phenomenal, and you should be really proud of yourself for that.  I would definitely suggest going to a counselor. I know it’s scary, but I have many friends who have struggled with depression and anxiety and after talking to someone about it they felt so, so much better, as though a load had been lifted from their shoulders. I know you can muster the courage to do it.

I just asked a friend of mine who’s struggling with similar stuff, and she says:

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Tea, I really look up to you and admire you. You seem like a really great person and you are so supportive of all your followers! I wish I knew people in real life like you

I have my face in my hands and I am beet red ok.

Thank you! But I just do what I can for the people that come to me and I really really want to help so I just…I just kinda…yeah. Do. The thing. The funny thing is that I don’t feel very supportive in real life and I’m kinda crap at comforting people but I think I’ve been getting better at it. Partially because of this blog, actually.