Who needs a Valentine when you can have… emotional instability

benefits of being my friend

-“low-maintenance”; 90% of the time, i’ll be too afraid of saying the wrong thing to talk to you at all!
-“similar interest”; because i’ll mirror tf out of you
-“excellent conversationalist”; You’ll know all about my trauma in no time!
-“full of excitement and spur-of-the-moment ideas”; emotional instability! splitting! intrusive thoughts! self-destructive impulses!

All of This, and Much More, can be yours for the low low price of All of your time and energy!
Serious Inquiries Only, please.