I am an over-thinker and an
over-feeler. Over-lover. Over-
needer. I would flood you. I
would drown your respectable
standoffishness. I don’t get over
things, but I get under them
well. I’d love you and you’d
soak me through. You couldn’t
handle me even if you wanted to.
I don’t even understand why band merch is so fricking fracking expensive. Like I’ve already sold you my sOUL AND MY SOCIAL LIFE AND MY EMOTIONAL STABILITY. I’VE DEDICATED MOST OF MY WAKING HOURS TO YOU WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
one thing i’ve noticed about bpd is when i come across a good thing, it either lifts me up and i float through the ceiling, i can feel my heart beating through my chest and it feels as if it’s going to spill with happiness
or it leaves me completely unaffected, cold and numb
TW: Mentions of Eating Behaviors, Sex-ish Mentions
Having Borderline Personality Disorder is like existing as a constant contradiction.
I’m either feeling way too much, or absolutely nothing at all.
I’m either in love with you, or I abhor you.
I’m either doing fairly, or I’m miserable.
I’m either social or I’m asocial.
I’m hypersexual, but then I’m sex repulsed.
I love myself, but then I’m unappealing and disgusting.
I care too much, or I’m totally apathetic.
I’m either too grounded in reality, or dissociated into space.
I’m laughing or I’m crying. Or perhaps both within a small time frame.
I’m raging and irate, or I’m apologizing for the latter.
I always make mistakes, but then I run around trying to pick up the pieces.
Eating too much, or nothing at all.
I’m Suicidal, or I’m not.
If only everyday people could see just how difficult it is. I feel like a literal personification of the Black and White, Dichotomous Thinking that we try to hard to understand and use our skills to avoid conflicts.