So many people feel that they have to wait for certain experiences in order to feel the emotions they desire. For instance, they don’t give themselves permission to feel loved or happy or confident unless a particular set of expectations is met. I’m here to tell you that you can feel any way you choose at any moment in time.
1/2 hey what about that other situation? the one with a life threatening event? imagine this: rhodey and tony accidently find themselves in a histage situation, back when they were at MIT. Maybe it's in a bank, maybe it's in a store or even on campus. But the guys look really threatening, ARE really threatening, they are not afraid to hurt someone to make a point. And normally Tony wouldn't get this scared, but he is aware that Rhodey is with him,
2/2 and he doesn’t want him to die or get hurt. He’s scared that Rhodey
will try to negociate with them or that he will try to stop them and get
shot in the process. They are sitting on the floor with the rest of the
hostages, and Tony is holding Rhodey’s hand in a vice grip. He doesn’t
even realize how scared he is until he tries to beg Rhodey not to do
anything stupid and his voice betrays him. He’s close to tears,
stuttering, shaking like a leaf and gripping Rhodey’s hand hard.
Let’s go with a bank for this one.
The guys doing the robbing are really scary, they already killed someone to prove a point and someone else who tried to push the panic button. So Rhodey and Tony know that his is a very dangerous situation.
Tony knows that if he keeps a low profile, doesn’t say that much, doesn’t attract attention and doesn’t antagonize anyone, he will most likely make it out of this, previous kidnappings have proved that.
But now Rhodey is with him, and Rhodey has a very strong sense of justice and he can almost feel Rhodey gearing up to try to distract them, or get to the panic button or something.
And that thought, that terrifies Tony more than the thugs ever could.
He grips Rhodey’s hand, so he has something he can use to hold him back, and he whispers ‘Please, please don’t do anything’. His voice is breaking, he is shaking so hard it almost hurts and he is close to tears.
Rhodey doens’t look for him for a long moment, too focused on the best way to the panic button, and those few seconds it takes to get Rhodey’s attention are the worst in Tony’s life.
He tightens the grip on Rhodey’s hand almost unknowingly and it’s only when Rhodey winces that he looks over at Tony.
He sees Tony then, shaking, pale, crying, and he immediately forgets his admittedly stupid plans. He tries to soothe Tony, calm him down, tells him nothing is going to happen to him if he doesn’t do anything but nothing can calm Tony.
It’s only when Tony repeats what he had said earlier ‘Please, please don’t do anything’ that Rhodey understand what has Tony this shaken.
He immediately soothes Tony, promising that he will not do anything, he won’t even let go of his hand until the police arrives, and he keeps his promise and then some.
They hold hands right until they are back home, where Rhodey pulls Tony into the hug he so desperately needs and it’s only then that Tony starts to come down from his panic, knowing that Rhodey is now safe and sound in their appartment and that nothing happened to him.
And while Tony was able to let go of Rhodey’s hand he is absolutely not ready to let him out of his sight, so they end up in bed together where Tony continues to cling to Rhodey with a grip so tight it would hurt Rhodey, if it wouldn’t also remind him that Tony is safe too.
Me, sweating nervously:
Hmm? 'Civil War' you say?? Never heard of it. Last time I checked, Steve and Tony were making out at the Avengers Compound. Nothing else happened at all, not ringing any bells, I don't recall-
ok anyway, in im3, tony yells NO! right as, and maybe a little bit before, he fails to catch pepper’s hand (like as soon as that whole metal structure tilts), and not after. when rhodey’s falling in cap 3, tony yells NO! way before rhodey hits the ground, but not as soon as rhodey’s shot and starts falling
this makes me think of the im1 novelization: when tony uses the faulty flight power of the mark 1 to boost him out of the terrorist camp, he figures out mid-fall what his trajectory was and what would be the force of his impact against the ground or whatever. similarly, when that SI rocket lands right next to him during the ambush, the first thing he does is to consider the distance between him and the thing and he quickly concludes that he won’t be able to get out of the blast range
so now i’m emotional over tony’s seemingly preemptive cries of NO! in light of this thing where he’s constantly doing the math in his head. so for instance, with pepper, he’s ~relatively chill and reassuring and confident that he’s gonna catch her, up until that rig unexpectedly tilts – and that would be the moment when pepper veers off the trajectory tony had projected for her and he knows he won’t be able to adjust in time, so he starts crying out BEFORE we ever get the shot of him missing pepper’s hand. and then with rhodey in cap 3, he realizes rhodey is going down and goes back for him, and then the point at which he actually cries out would have been the point when the numbers clicked in tony’s head and he realized he wouldn’t be able to get to rhodey before rhodey hit the ground
and i’m in pain because if we’re to go with this, then we have tony grasping his failure before it even happens
Anger … it’s a paralyzing emotion … you can’t get anything done. People sort of think it’s an interesting, passionate, and igniting feeling — I don’t think it’s any of that — it’s helpless … it’s absence of control…
Interview with CBS radio host Don Swaim, September 15, 1987