emo!evan

connor murphy x reader headcanons

connor murphy x reader who meet thanks to a little kid

requested: yOUR EVAN HANSEN DATING HEADCANONS WERE ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE OMG how about some connor murphy ones next? ;o -anon

word count: 1646 i’m sorry i’m so extra 


  • You’d decided to work as a camp counselor this summer because you loved kids and it would be lots of fun and would get you some money
  • Every day you would take them out to the park around the block from the camp
  • And every day there would be this boy about your age dressed completely in black lurking in a corner of the park that you thought was connor murphy from school but then he’s never really at school so??
  • You were usually good at keeping track of all of the kids but one little boy had made you a daisy chain and you were busy admiring it, so you didn’t notice when a little girl wandered over to emo dude
  • By the time you had satisfied the boy, you realized that Annabelle had run off and started panicking and looking for her
  • And then you found her crying with emo dude frantically trying to calm her down
  • it wasn’t working poor guy
  • So you ran over there and left your friend in charge of the other kids
  • Poor annabelle was absolutely terrified of him- but who could blame her?? He was towering over her, wearing absolutely no color, and very clearly freaking out
  • After plenty of hugs and reassurances she finally calmed down enough to relax before promptly falling asleep- you’d been there so long that the other counselors had taken the rest of the kids back to camp to take their naps and apparently annabelle is comeplety in sync with the camp schedule
  • ‘i swear i did nothing, i just turned around and she was there crying’ poor emo dude
  • ‘Connor, right? You go to my school. It’s fine, little kids tend to be scared of people or things they don’t know’
  • connor is just so shocked because you remembered his name???? he wasn’t just the freak to you??? and also you weren’t immediately blaming him? he’s in love
  • You realize that you should head back to camp but annabelle looks so peaceful and happy that you just pick her up so she can keep sleeping and start to say goodbye to connor
  • but he actually likes you and you’ve been nice to him so far? So he kinda wants to spend more time with you
  • ‘Wait, i’ll walk you back. It’s my fault you got left behind anyways’
  • you try and reassure him that it’s not his fault and you’re fine, it’s just around the block dude but he’s actually kinda cute when he’s not making little kids cry?
  • You start walking and you’ve barely made it out of the park before he starts freaking out and thinks that you just agreed because you were planning to make fun of him
  • ‘this is all just some fucking set up isn’t it? right around that corner you’ve probably got a bunch of people from school to make fun of me’
  • you try to tell him that nope, that would take way too much clairvoyance and planning and just generally having your life together but he’s not even listening at this point and you’re worried that he’s gonna wake up annabelle
  • so you just grab him and start whisper-yelling that ‘oh my god is it that hard for you to accept that somebody doesn’t hate you and thinks you’re kinda cute and wants to get to know you better’
  • and he’s just so shocked that he stops walking because you think he’s cute???? Tbh he’ld rather go for mysterious and intimidatingly hot but he’ll take it
  • but you speed up because god four year olds are actually kinda heavy?? And poor con has to run to catch up while waving for you to slow down bc at first he’s so confused because you’re leaving him behind?? But once he realizes that your arms are tired he takes Annabelle from you and shit connor just went from kinda cute to the love of your life how does a little kid make him look so soft and gentle?
  • it didn’t really make a difference because you were almost there but it was still sweet
  • You get there and he just hesitates before handing annabelle back to you and you’re not sure why
  • ‘do you maybe want to go for ice cream after you’re done working?’
  • You’re so shocked because this really cute boy is asking you out?? but he takes your silence as disgust and is just like ‘obviously nobody as cute or nice as you would want to go out with a freak like me i’ll just go’ and he starts walking away
  • and now you’re even more shocked because he thinks you’re cute and nice!!1! But you realize he’s leaving and he also still has annabelle? Like did he not even notice that she’s still snuggled up to him
  • so you call after him and get him to come back bc obviously you want to go
  • ‘i get done at three’
  • His face just completely lights up and he looks so beautiful when he smiles he should do that wAY more often
  • you kiss his cheek and take Annabelle inside the camp building and he just stands there blushing. connor murphy. Blushing. yep. that boy is whipped lol
  • You’ld think that he’ld go somewhere else for three hours but nope that boy just sits on a bench across the street and waits for you to come out for all three hours in the hot sun in all black bc he doesn’t want to be late and miss you and make you think he stood you up
  • when you finally get done you two decide to walk to a la mode because zoe has the murphy car and your family doesn’t have an extra
  • and once you’ve gotten there and gotten your ice cream- mint chocolate chip for you and rainbow sherbet for him (he secretly loves it fight me)- (which connor insisted on paying for) and have finally sat down and eaten most of your ice cream and really gotten into a deep conversation with connor you suddenly get mauled by a four year old on a sugar high bc apparently annabelle’s mom thought it would be fun to take her out for a treat
  • She’s really apologetic but says that you’re annabelle’s favorite counselor and she looks up to you so much that you just can’t help but say that it’s totally fine
  • poor con immediately tenses up and shrinks into himself because he likes you and you’re nice and he doesn’t want to ruin this
  • but you’re determined so you sit annabelle on your lap so connor doesn’t look so tall and gently introduce her to him
  • she tries to shake his hand and he’s so nervous
  • But then she see his hair and reaches over the table to play with it and at first he recoils and is like ‘ew no her hands are so sticky’ but she just smiles at him with her crooked little teeth and he absolutely melts and they’re just so adorable you have to take a photo (which will soon become your lockscreen)
  • At first he was a little bit uncomfortable but then he relaxes and starts talking to her and actually enjoying her company? until you guys decide to leave so annabelle goes scampering back to her mom and connor is quiet as you walk out but he just looks so proud of himself
  • he asks you if you want to go back to his house bc his parents and zoe should be out and your date was kinda crashed by an adorable pre-schooler
  • And of course you agree and at some point on the walk you grab his hand and he blushes again
  • And once you get to the murphy house he’s really surprised because his parents and zoe are home?? and they of course ambush him the moment he steps into the house asking where he’s been and if he’s been smoking again because you really should be hanging out with other kids and not just pot connor but then you step in behind him and everyone’s really shocked
  • his parents love you so much even if they’re a bit confused on how you like connor bc they think you might be a good influence
  • But zoe is just like :O bc you’re the girl that wears cute flowery sundresses and plays with little kids all day and connor’s…. well… him. but she goes with it bc alana’s out of town and she could use someone else to hang out with
  • connor just pulls you out of there and up into his room and starts complaining about his parents and you just sit on his bed watching him pace back and forth
  • but he seems to just be working himself up so you grab him and hug him and he just melts into it and all the tension leaves him and it’s really sweet
  • you two lie on his bed and cuddle and talk till you have to go home
  • he walks you to your house but you stop before you go in to write your phone number on his arm bc of course he forgot his phone in his room
  • You’re about to go in but then he asks you to be his girlfriend
  • He’s really shy about it and tbh he kinda sounds like evan but he’s never felt like this about anyone else and he’s a bit nervous
  • you just kiss him and he’s so shocked bc somebody wants to kiss him?? but also because it’s just so gentle and sweet and pure and he just never thought he could have anything that soft and precious
  • you whisper that you’ld love to in his ear and then dart inside
  • con just stands there touching his fingers to his lips till he comes to his senses and wants to text you
  • he’s never ran home faster in his life

It was the last day of school but also the beginning of the apocalypse. I was trapped in some huge haunted place that was sort of like an amusement park with Emo!Evan Peters, Gilderoy Lockhart, my mom (she would sometimes just disappear), and a bunch of random people. We were trying to defeat a demon and Emo!Evan Peters kept yelling at me like it was my fault that we were trapped there and Lockhart would just stand in the back and take selfies while we were fighting the demon. In the end, he ended up taking credit for defeating the demon even though he didn’t do anything and we had to fight him too, but I woke up before we finished.

Take Care (Sort of Connor Murphy x Reader, I guess?)

Part 2

Request:  Reader is Jared’s sister and dated Connor, before he committed suicide. She’s all devastated until she sees that her brother is part of “The Connor Project” and confronts him about it. (I hope u liked it!!)

Words: 1744

Warnings: suicide mention, a lot of grief, crying, death mention, heartbreak


Sun came from east, but grey clouds made their way from west. Wind was rushing through the leaves. Birds were chirping. A beautiful scenery for the most dreadful moment in your life. Today marks the funeral of your late boyfriend, who committed suicide some days ago. A handful of people were standing around the coffin, whilst the priest, who did not know him at all, gave a speech about how wonderful he was. There was his mother, breaking down. His father, who seemed rather annoyed than being sad about the death of his son. And Zoe, his sister. She did not grief at all, just looking at the coffin in which her brother laid, as if it was nothing important.

And there was you, his girlfriend. Standing far away from the whole scene, hiding behind a tree and observing the funeral in her own silence. Connor and you kept the relationship a secret. You started dating 8 months ago, after you had to work on a school project together. You had heard the stories about him. That he was aggressive, that he had beaten up people. Just that he was a difficult person, and he definitely was. Connor was difficult sometimes, but you loved him anyway. And he loved you, even though he did not show it frequently. His way of expressing affection was a different one than yours. You kissed him on his cheek, you stroke his back when you held him, whilst he was crying. You whispered “I love you so much” in his ear, all over again. Connor was afraid of showing too many emotions. He was already so ashamed of himself, when he cried in front of you, although you assured him so many times, that it’s okay to feel things. In some moments, he would hold you so tightly, pressing a kiss on your lips and say “Thank you”.
Nobody knew that you two were lovers. Not your parents. Not his parents. Only you two. In school, you would not even speak to each other. Sometimes, when you saw the other one in the hallway, you would exchange glances, maybe even a small smile. And that was it.
After school, you both would meet in a small park. Always sitting on the same bench, talking about everything. You loved these moments. And you loved Connor. The way he would speak about the things he loved, the way the sunshine fell onto his face, the way he tucked his hair behind his ear. In these moments, he seemed so calm, as if the world stopped just to give you two one quiet moment together. When his family wasn’t home, you would even meet in his house. Staying in bed the whole time, maybe showing each other your favourite bands.
And suddenly – all of this was gone. It hit you like an ice cold wave in the ocean. There will no longer be a Connor in your life. No more kisses, no more conversations about life. No more love. You gave him your whole heart and you knew that he would keep it forever.
You watched as they lowered his coffin in the grave. Tears were streaming down your face. You couldn’t breathe, you were on the brink of throwing up. You turned around and left, before anybody could have seen you, asking themselves why a strange girl was standing there, crying hysterically and grieving the death of a boy she loved.


You tried to calm down again, before you arrived at home. It didn’t work. You were still devastated. The whole afternoon, you were laying in your bed, wondering if you could have saved him somehow. Love was never enough, but in this moment you wished it was. You thought of the last time you saw Connor. It was in your park, on your bench. Nothing different happened on this day. You were just talking about everything again. Connor seemed so neutral. Before he left, however, one thing was different, you remembered. As usual, he pressed a quick kiss on your lips. Nothing extraordinary. But then he said “Take care” to you. The last thing he would ever say to you. You didn’t think it would be the last time you ever saw him. The next day, you found out in school, that he killed himself. That he was dead. You broke down in the school toilet and stayed there the whole day. That day you lost the one love in your life. The one person that made everything right for the few hours you’ve always spent together. And now that all was gone. He was now only part of your memory.

A knocking on your door brought you back to reality. Before you could answer, your brother bursted into your room. “Hey, I wanted to-”. He realized that you were crying and instantly, he was worried.
“Oh God, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing, Jared. Really. I’m just upset right now.”
“Are you high?”
“What?”
“Your eyes are so red. Where do you even get that stuff? You’re younger than me, and way too unpopular to know somebody who can provide you with weed!”
You laughed quietly. The first time in days.
Jared may have seemed like an asshole, that made fun of people, just to seem cool and unbreakable, but deep down inside of him, he was as insecure as everybody else. He hated to see that you, his younger sister, was crying. In every thinkable way, he tried to cheer you up. You were so grateful to have him as brother, even though he did not even know why you were so devastated. He was there for you, and in that moment, that was just enough.

Some weeks after Connor’s death, you walked into school, for the first time ever without feeling nauseous. Suddenly you were afraid, that you would forget about Connor one day. That you would forget what his voice sounded like, how soft his hands were, the way he held you when he kissed you. You asked yourself whether other people will forget about Connor. 
You walked down the school floor, when your gaze wandered out of a sudden to a colourful poster on the wall, with Connor’s name written all over it:

“The Connor Project – because no one deserves to be forgotten”

Under the headline were the three names of the creators: Alana Beck, Evan Hansen and…Jared Kleinman. Jared. Fucking. Kleinman. What did your brother have to do with Connor? You couldn’t understand the world anymore. You didn’t want to understand the world anymore. Was this just another bullshit action from him? On your last day together, Jared made a childish comment about the way he looked like. In the afternoon, Connor said what kind of a dickhead your brother was. And suddenly, your brother would care about him?

You couldn’t focus on your subjects for the rest of your school day. The bell was ringing. You got up and rushed out of the classroom, ready to confront your brother with the Connor Project.
He was already at home. You heard him upstairs, cursing while playing any video game. Filled with anger, you just bursted into his room. Immediately he turned around and looked at you.
“What the fuck? Why don’t you just knock on the door, like any other sensible human being? I could’ve masturbated right now!”
A tear rolled down your cheek. “What is the Connor Project and why are you a part of it?”
He stopped the game and stood up, walking towards you.
“It’s just a project about that guy-”
“Connor. His name was Connor.”
“Alright, it’s about Connor Murphy, who committed suicide some weeks ago. And we don’t want him to be forgotten. That’s it.”
“And why do you suddenly care so much about Connor? I heard how you made fun out of him the whole time!”
“Wait…why do you care so much about Connor? Why are you so upset that we’re starting this project, so nobody forgets about him?”
You were on the brink of bursting into tears again. You tried to be calm, but in that moment your whole world was crushing in again.
“We were dating, before he died! I was the only one around for him.”
That was enough for you to break down together. Tears came streaming down your face. But then you felt Jared’s arms around you.
“Sh sh, calm down.”
“I just miss him so much”, you whispered.
“It’s not your fault, everything will be fine.”
Jared did not know what he had to do now, but he still tried his best.
“I think you knew Connor the best then?”, he stuttered.
“I guess”, you said, wiping away your tears. The last time you cried in front of your brother was so many damn years ago. You felt ashamed, that he saw you like this again.
“It’s okay to cry and you know that, right?”, he said, as if he read your mind, “and it’s definitely okay to cry in a moment like this. I didn’t know that you two were dating. Oh god, I’m so sorry.”
He hugged you again.
“I’m afraid that I will forget about him one day.”
“I don’t wanna change the topic now, but The Connor Project is about remembering him. Keeping his memories alive, you know? We’re trying to do this.”
“You really are? You don’t let him disappear?”
“We won’t, we won't”, Jared whispered, as you cried again. You were overwhelmed by this whole situation. People did care about Connor! And now there was a project about him. You felt so incredibly happy and sad at the same time and asked yourself how that could be.
You didn’t even ask yourself anymore why your brother cared about Connor. That was no longer important in this moment. You were just glad, that people would not forget about Connor. Nobody would forget about him. And definitely not you.

While he held you, Jared asked himself what would happen if you found out the real reason behind it. Within a second, the thought about that was gone again. You were happy – and that was all that mattered to him.

Jemma Redgrave ~ Zoe Evans (Frankie) 🌙

So today at lunch i was sitting with a newish group of people and we got on the topic of how much we’ve developed as people over the last few years. i thought it was cool because i haven’t known these people for that long so it was interesting hearing about the people they used to be. Then one girl made an offhanded comment about how she always used to feel like she was “living on the sidelines of her own life just watching things happen.” Me, being the deh trash that i am, made her listen to waving through a window on the spot. And she started tearing up. So then the girl next to her wanted to listen to it, and she had the same reaction. One more of my friends took a turn and she got a little teary as well. But when i was talking to them about it, i found that they all had really different reasons behind the way the song made them react.  like one of the girls (the first one) was saying that it just took her back to the way she used to feel and it reminded her of how far she’s come. The second girl was talking about how she struggles with loneliness and isolation right now, so it was really validating to hear someone explain the concept she couldn’t quite put into words herself. and girl number three has a brother with severe social anxiety and so she was getting emotional on his behalf, saying that she had heard him say really similar things when describing the way he feels. and it was honestly so cool to see three cases of this musical affecting people in completely different ways and allowing for real conversations and deeper connections.  so. one more reason to love deh. it impacts so many people and people can relate to the lyrics for so many different reasons and its just!!!! really good. and i love it so much!!! 

anonymous asked:

headcanon connor really loves bands like muse and the emo trinity, and evan introduces him to twenty one pilots, and jared doesn't get why they cry over the g note bc all he listens to is taylor swift and musicals

THIS IS SO ACCURATE
Connor loves Edgy+Emo music, Evan likes Somewhat-Emo/Alternative music, and Jared listens to 80s music, Taylor Swift, and showtunes