I went to bed way too late to be up this early but I am so oh well ha. I had a dream my producer called me and said I talk to him too him much and he thinks it’s because I have no friends, okay so isn’t that a lame dream, I love going to bed to escape everything but not to be told I have no friends haha, maybe this dream bothered me because most of the time I feel like I really don’t have friends… My closest friends went away to college, others live in NYC or other parts of the world from when I lived there for a year. I love seeing my college friends when they come home even though I can’t relate to anything there doing. I didn’t even go to one day of high school or one day of middle school let alone college. Id hate that… I guess when there gone I don’t really make effort to put myself out there. I’ve never had a big friend group, sorta always felt like a loner. I love people, I love connection but weirdly have always just felt so different from everyone with my goals, career path and everything. A lot of people don’t understand what I’m doing some think oh wow that’s really cool, but I have no one to talk about it to. I have no one who’s like on the same page and I don’t blame them why would they understand. I’m thankful for the few friends I do have Id rather have a few that understand me and that I can trust, then try to be mrs poplar and have a big “squad” I dedicated my whole childhood to art, you don’t have a lot of time for friends and at this point I’ve dedicated the rest of my life to it. I’m happy with my choices I don’t need a lot of ppl to validate myself or make myself feel better. I know who I am and I’m good enough for myself. You don’t need a lot of friends to be cool or popular or fit in. A lot of friends can be beautiful but sometimes being a little loner ain’t so bad either. When a bunch of people pop up in my life or when everyone leaves my life, I will stay the same. Whatever way your thrown embrace it there’s beauty in both. You just need to be confident enough to say I love myself and if you like me too we can be friends and if not I still love myself. The hardest thing I’ve ever had to learn how to love was myself.