First of all, WELCOME to the madness!! If you don’t mind, I’d like to give you some advice:
Don’t try to leave, you can’t.
Your interest will eventually become an obsession, don’t try to explain yourself how it happened, it’s an impossible task. Just embrace it.
Don’t feel bad for being extra, most harries are.
Some people have crazy and unbeliavable theories about Harry and one of his former bandmates being in love. Please ignore them and don’t let yourself be dragged to that side of the fandom (which includes denial and social media harassment - not nice)
Always love and respect Harry and your fellow harries, like the man himself says: Be nice to nice.
There are two sides to character development: Positive and Negative development respectively.
Positive is what we see most, when a character improves over time, becomes a better person, and overcomes ordeals, etc.
Negative is something not seen often–it’s when a character is in a spiral to becoming worse.
Both types are perfectly valid development for a character. And Berseria does something rare, which is explore the negative side with Velvet.
Velvet began as your typical small village girl and caring older sister until Artorius screwed her life over. From then on, she’s left with severe PTSD, left to rot in a prison for 3 years, and has everything she ever knew turned upside down. For someone who had everything taken away from her, her mind is not quite sound at the start of the game.
And she deteriorates. The only thing keeping her mind intact at that point is getting revenge on Artorius: it is her only reason to live early game. So yes, she’s obsessed with revenge. Very much so. She becomes a hypocrite and mows down innocents just as he did to reach her final goal. She tries hard to cast away her humanity. She still has the caring older sister instincts in her, and tries so hard to bury it so that it won’t hinder her goal. And she continues on this downward spiral until she hits rock bottom and all that she’s done finally catches up to her. The first major trigger being killing Oscar on accident. After that her hypocrisy increases exponentially as she repeats to herself it had to be done. She’s holding onto a very thin string that’s just a pull away from snapping. And after the ordeal with Melchior’s illusion, she does just that: she snaps. She’s lost sight of her goal, and her mind is left in a blank state. Velvet lost the final thing keeping her sane.
It’s from this point on that Velvet can finally get to her positive development. She’s hit rock bottom, and there’s nowhere else to go. She learns to embrace herself–good and bad. She accepts what she’s done, and decides to go through with things for her own sake and nobody else. She abandons the idea that it’s for Laphi, and finally comes into her own. Velvet takes an extremely bumpy road to this point. It’s not smooth, and it’s full of valleys. But those up and downs make Velvet who she is. She’s not your typical character who can only move forward. Instead, like a real human being, she trips and falls back in places. Just like anyone with PTSD. The road to recovery is not so simple.
At her core she’s just a caring older sister who felt betrayed by the world. A world that made it necessary to take away her only dream and happiness in the world. She goes mad, and eventually comes to a mental balance. She’s still suffering, but learns to accept the things she cast away before. She’s a character with many sides. If you find her fixation on revenge at the start that annoying and flat–take a step back and try to put yourself in her shoes.
Velvet is a character who has to get worse before she can get better. Her development isn’t shoved into the last leg of the game. It exists from the start–just not in the positive light that many wish to see.
“Are you okay?” you asked nervously as you slipped into the passenger seat next to Taehyung. He was chewing the cuticles on one hand while drumming the fingertips of the other onto his steering wheel. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost”
He turned his head to stare at you and you tried your best not to laugh, “How would you feel if you were to go to dinner with your girlfriend’s best friends who want nothing more than to gut him like a tuna?” He stuttered over the g word, unsure of if it was something he should call your or not. The two of you hadn’t really talked about what was going on between the two of you.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to call you that” he blushed.
You tried your best not to laugh, but you couldn’t hold it in. Taehyung, the king of leather jackets and muscle cars was scared. Granted, you would be scared too if you had to sit down for dinner with Mina after everything that had happened. You were nervous too, things had barely been patched up between the two of you after the night of the party.
Your hand found its way to the back of his neck, rubbing the knots that formed when he was stressed. Taehyung closed his eyes and leaned into your touch, “It’s okay, Taehyung. Everything will be okay” you assured him.
He opened one of his eyes and gave you a look, “That’s because your name isn’t Kim Taehyung”
“Where’s daddy Xiumin?” I wonder after we are all settled in the van.
Kris has me cocooned in his arms as he rocks me gently.
“He is in a very bad mood so we decided to let him rest for awhile. He
would be even more mad that we came and got you without him,” Kris chuckles
“What did Jiyong hyung mean about your nightmare?” Luhan asks from where
he sits next to us.
“I don’t want to talk about it right now, can we do it in the morning?” I
mumble before snuggling deeper into Kris’s embrace.
They sigh but nod.
The drive home is quiet after that but I can tell they are itching to
find out what my dream was about. I just don’t know how to talk about it
without letting them know that I over heard their entire conversation with
Jiyong’s people. That will only lead to more trouble and fights I don’t want to
even think about right now. They would probably ban me from going anywhere near
Jiyong and after our little confession I doubt he would take that without a
fight. I really don’t want to start a fight right now.
But that is exactly what I do the moment I say I want to sleep with Luhan
instead of Kris. The giant is fuming when he has to hand me over to the smaller
deer man. I don’t talk to any of the others, I can’t even get myself to look at
most of them, especially Chanyeol. I know it was a dream the image in my head
of him coming towards me with that pliers in his hand was way too vivid, I
shutter at the thought. Luhan tightens his grip on me as he lies down in the
bed. He pulls the covers over us and snuggles me so close that nothing could
get in between us.
He’s humming some song, it calms the anxiety in my chest a little bit
thankfully. His hand rubs my back slowly, trying to sooth me back to sleep but
right now, that’s the last thing I want to do. I don’t want to wake back up in
that hell hole, that dungeon. But I
doubt Luhan would let me just stay up without expecting me to explain my
nightmare to him and that’s just a no go too. I’m planning on pushing that off
until I have no other options and just like that, I have another option.
“Daddy,” I mumble softly into his neck.
“Yes baby?” He hums.
I’m hesitant not wanting to sound so forward but how to ask, “Can you
He’s quiet for a minute, “Baby, I do love you.”
“I love you too but that’s not what I mean.” He doesn’t respond and I can
sense his confusion. Shyly I begin kissing his neck, he stiffens at my touch
but only for a second before I start leaving small hickies on his collar bone.
Only the sound of his quiet pants and soft moan can be heard in the room as I
kiss my way back up his neck to leave a line across his jaw. When I finally
reach his lips I stop with our lips barely touching and look into his eyes. His
black orbs burn into mine.
“Baby,” He purrs.
“I want you to love me daddy, please,” I let the neediness and
desperation I’m feeling seep into my voice, hoping it works.
Suddenly I’m on bottom and Luhan has his hips pressed hard against mine
in just as much neediness, “Baby, you have no idea how much I’ve wanted to hear
you say that.” His lips ghost over mine, “I’ve missed you so much. That bastard
is never getting you for that long ever again. You’re ours, no one else. Say
it,” He growls.
“I’m yours, only yours,” I whimper.
“Damn right,” He smiles before smashing his lips against mine, he devours
me for what feels like forever as his hips grind against mine, teasing me. I
feel myself getting wet at his words, I love his possessiveness, I need all of
this right. I need his reassurance and attention and his love. He is very
willing to give me all of that, his slow pace makes sure he can kiss every part
of my face until I’m pink in face.
When he pulls away I frown but only for a second before he’s in my grasp
again, this time without a shirt. His skin is hot beneath my finger tips, I run
my hands down his chest until my finger tips graze hem of his sweat pants
making me frown. I look up at him with the same pout making him chuckle.
“What’s wrong baby?” He pecks my lips softly.
“Too much clothing,” I whine.
“I could the same about you,” He tugs on the over sized shirt that
belongs to him. Without any hesitation I shed the shirt and throw it on the
floor leaving me in my bra and underwear. I pull him closer wanting to feel his
skin against mine. “Are you okay baby? You seem different, is something wrong?”
He wonders as he brushes my hair out of my face.
I shake my head a bit to quickly, “I just missed you, I want you.”
That seems to be all he needs to forget about his questions and continue
shedding his clothes and mine until we are both completely naked. The moment my
bra is gone his hands are there to replace it, cupping them gently. His expert
hands massage them before leaning down to kiss each nipple, earning a small
moan from me. It feels so good to have his fingers trail over the little buds
but I don’t want foreplay, I want him so much right now.
When he starts trailing kisses down my stomach I stop him, holding his
face in my hands I lead him back up my body and kiss him passionately. He pulls
away confused but I stop his questions by wrapping my legs around his waist,
hoping that is a big enough hint.
“So needy tonight aren’t you?” He teases. He holds me close as he lines
himself at my entrance. I take a deep breath and try to relax right before he
thrusts himself fully into me. We both moan out, his face is in the crook of my
neck masking his but mine is let out into the room, echoing off the walls. “You
take me so good baby,” He says almost proudly, leaving kisses along my throat, “you’re
always so tight and hot, oh my fucking god.”
“Daddy, move,” I groan with a little thrust of my hips. He growls and
pushes me deeper into the bed so I can’t move at all. Those dark eyes of him pierce
into my soul making me feel so small and helpless just like he wants.
“What was that baby?” His tone is warning me that my next words are
“Daddy, please move,” I beg.
“Since you asked so nicely, who am I to say no,” He kisses me as his hips
move in a circle a few times before pulling out to just slam back in. My walls
clench around him trying to hold him in with no luck. He continues his teasing
pace of thrusting and grinding his skilled hip against mine. The knot in my
belly begins to coil tighter with each thrust of those fucking hips but I know
from experience I won’t be able to cum from his lazy thrust. He trying to make
it last longer and I appreciate that. But as much as I don’t want to sleep I
can’t stand his teasing hips either. I nearly scream when he hits me just
right, hit my most sensitive place. A grin spreads across his face as he does
it again and again until I’m a moaning mess beneath him. His end is coming as
well, his thrusts become more and more erratic and his knuckles turn white from
holding the sheets too tight.
The world seems to stop as we both hold each other tighter as our
climaxes rock thru us. I honestly feel like it’s just him and I in the world,
his eyes are locked with mine as we rock our hips together, riding out the rest
of our orgasm. But even after that when he tries to pull out I hold him closer
and ask, more like beg, him to just stay.
“If that’s what you want,” He hums as he positions us more comfortably
with me on top straddling his hips. “Now tell me baby, what is really wrong?
You seem different.”
I snuggle deeper into his embrace, “Bad different?”
“No, you look so small, so needy, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love
it but what made you like that?”
“Nothing,” I lie, “I’m just tired of being big and brave. I just want to
be little right now. Is that okay?”
I can tell he doesn’t by it but he loves my answer too much to question
it, “Of course that’s okay. Your daddies will be here to be brave for you.”
“Thank you daddy.”
“I’m going to kill you!”
I shot up in bed, my heart is racing in my chest as I scramble to my feet
to run. But the minute I’m able to stand on the bed I’m being pulled back down
by someone, I’m in too much of a panic to figure it out. I’m pinned down on the
bed with my hands on either side of my head trying and failing to get out of
this person’s grip. My eyes are closed tight but tears still manage to pour
down my cheeks.
“I’m not going back!” I finally scream when I finally find my voice.
“I’ll be a good girl! Just don’t put me back in the dungeon, please!”
“What the hell is going on?” The same voice yells.
“Hyung,” Another voice snaps back with a softer tone, “Yelling isn’t
“Baby,” A third voice coos sweetly from above me. “It’s okay Baby, we’ve
got you, you aren’t going anywhere.” I stop for a second and let the gentle
voice sink in and then remember that I’m not in the dungeon. I’m at home in
Luhan’s arms. With a deep breath I open my eyes to find not only Luhan hovering
over me but Suho and Xiumin sitting on either side of the bed. When I stop
moving Luhan lets go of my wrists and strokes my cheek gently. “Good morning
I sniffle and wipe away the stray tears left in my eyes, “I’m so sorry
daddy, I was just so scared, I’m sorry!”
“Hush now baby, you have no reason to apologize, Xiumin hyung is the one
who should be saying sorry,” His tone gets a little hostile at the end as he
gives his hyung a glare. The older barely acknowledges him, his eyes are
focused on me.
“What were you saying about the dungeon?” He asks softly but I know he
hates when I mention it.
“I had a nightmare last night that I was in the dungeon and you were
going to kill me,” I answer meekly, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to lie to
“So Hyung busting in yelling that he was going to kill Luhan hyung
probably didn’t help,” Suho joins in glaring at the oldest.
“What the hell were you going to kill me for?” Luhan asks.
Xiumin huffs, “Why did no one tell me she was back and that she
specifically asked for me before settling for you?”
“You were way too busy and crabby we were afraid to even go near your
door let alone knock on it.”
“Is she awake?” A cute voice wonders as he joins us on the bed, Sehun
smile drops at the sight of my probably pink eyes and small pout. “Who the fuck
made her cry?”
“Shut up,” Xiumin pushes the youngest off the bed.
“She had a nightmare,” Suho answers.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I lie as I sit up, Luhan sits back still straddling me.
“Are you sure?” They all ask in unison.
I nod, “It’s just some silly little nightmare, it’s no big deal.”
“You were crying in your sleep, it seems like a big deal.”
“Well it’s not! Can we just not talk about it?” I snap.
“Just hang on Marinette.” Chat Noir called, having a firm grip on her arm. As if she had a choice?
Chat Noir himself hung precariously from a ledge. Unfortunately the ledge was too narrow for either of them to climb up on, and Chat was running out of time. He was down to 3 pads.
“Chat, I’ll be fine. You’re running out of time. Just leave me on that ledge there.” She pointed to the ledge just below them. It was narrow, but larger than the one they hung off of. And plenty of room for her to transform into Ladybug.
“NO CHANCE!” Chat shouted, almost angrily. “I will not leave you alone, Marinette! What kind of hero would I be?”
His ring gave off another chime, the second to last pad started flashing. They really were running out of time tho. If he reverted, would he be strong enough to hold them both? Chat muttered a curse under his breath, but then got an idea.
“Marinette, can you reach my baton?”
She reached up with her hand, wondering why he wanted it.
“No, its just out of my reach.”
Chat had to think fast.
“Here, grab my tail and use it for leverage, I have an idea.”
When she grabbed a hold of his tail, he brought her up higher so she could reach the baton. The ring gave yet another persistant beep.
“Got it!” She called.
“Great, hold it vertically and press the center button on the pawprint”
“OK.” She let go of his tail as he extended his arm again, and she did what he asked. The baton quickly extended down to the ground and as soon as it hit the ground, Chat quickly let go of the ledge, gripping the staff. As soon as he had a grip around Marinette and the staff, he pressed the same button to retract it, bringing them down to the ground.
Once they were safe on the ground, Chat did not immediately let go, holding her firm against his chest. Marinette blushed at the closeness. His chest was firm and warm. Beneath her fingers, she felt his heart pound. Was he that worried about her?
“I was scared you would get hurt!” He cut her off. “I don’t know what i would do if I couldn’t have saved you.
Hearing his voice tremble so, startled her. Why did he care so much about her? To him she should be a normal citizen.
“Sorry.” She muttered. She would be lying if being in his embrace wasn’t nice.
His ring gave one last beep before his outfit seemed to melt in a cloud of black smoke. The leather fabric under her hands turning into cotton. Marinette quickly closed her eyes.
“Oops,” he chuckled.
“Don’t worry, my eyes are closed.” She said.
“Thank you princess,” he responded releasing her. Taking her hand he gave it a quick kiss. “I should go. See you around Marinette.”
She heard him back away.
“Do you have any camembert?” she heard a grumpy voice chirp as he ran off.
“Yes, just wait a minute Plagg.”
Marinette was tempted to peek, and see his identity. Maybe it was someone she knew? But she didn’t. It would be wrong.
Still tho, it was nice, being in his embrace. Too bad she had already given her heart to Adrien.
Life is more than a balancing act. It is more than swaying this way and that to find something that you are not entirely sure that you want, it is greatness. It is about the moments you feel whole and what will make you smile, you do not need to balance your good by finding bad, embrace the sunshine and live in the warmth, but never leave others in the cold.
Summary: Savitar kidnaps reader because in the future she was his lover, she was there for him when everyone rejected him. However, she died and now he’s in the present seeking revenge from the team while finding a way to be with her again.
Pairings: Savitar!Barry x reader
Word count: 1479
A/N: Hello! Sorry again for the long time without posting :( We’re getting to the end of this series, so now things are happening lol I hope you guys enjoy it! I’ll try to not take so long for part 6 x
Written for the 2016/2017 Destiel Secret Santa Exchange!
It’s fifteen minutes to midnight and Dean’s pretty sure he’s right on the edge of being drunk. Everything’s going a little hazy around the edges, and a warmth that wasn’t there earlier is filling up his body and wrapping him in an embrace that isn’t too bad, if he says so himself. Dancers are gyrating all around him in a sway of movement, and the music is blasting so loud that Dean can’t hear himself think. Overall, everything’s perfect.
“Hey, there’s Dean!”
Well, almost perfect.
“Hiya, Sammy,” Dean groans, plastering on a smile he doesn’t feel like giving. He turns around and is met with the image of his brother practically tumbling forward, beer bottle centimeters away from the tips of his fingers. He looks blissed out beyond belief with his half closed eyes and breath reeking of whiskey, but that’s not what has Dean acting so sour.
“Whoa, watch it!” Cas calls as he swoops to the rescue. He dips down and catches Sam just in time before he falls flat on his ass, and the drunken giggles that erupt from Sam’s mouth would be freakin’ adorable if they weren’t directed at Cas.
Dean knows he’s being petty. Cas is a great guy, one of Dean’s best friends actually, and he shouldn’t act like some bitter wine mom because Sam snatched Cas up as his boyfriend before Dean could get his head out of his ass. And yet, Dean can’t help but feel the pangs of jealousy when he watches Cas and Sam interact. They’re always so touchy, hands brushing absentmindedly like they aren’t even thinking about it, whispering jokes in each other’s ears before breaking out into fits of laughter. They’re so domestic it’s disgusting.
“Thanks, Cas,” Sam mumbles under his breath. He tries to take another swig of beer, but Cas takes the bottle away before he gets the chance.
“I think that’s enough for now,” Cas murmurs in low tones, setting the bottle down on the nearest table. “I’m strong, but not strong enough to drag your weight three blocks back to campus.”
“But Caaaaas,” Sam whines with puppy dog eyes out in full force. “It’s not even midnight yet!”
“All the more reason to quit while you’re ahead. Don’t want to miss out on a New Year’s kiss, right?”
Sam giggles and tosses his head back. “Right,” he responds. “Wanna be awake for that.” He puckers his lips and brings them close to Cas’s cheek, who bats the faux kiss off with his hand before they both break down in laughter.
“Ugh, screw me,” Dean groans into his beer.
“Tried it; wasn’t a fan.”
Dean grins at the new voice behind him and spins around. Jo, the host of this New Year’s Eve party, is leaning up against a couch with a bottle of champagne in her hand and her girlfriend Anna clinging to her side, both covered in lipstick stains and reeking of smoke.
“I’m crushed, Harvelle,” Dean says in mock offense, bringing his hand up to his chest. “Are you saying that our drunken night in the Impala meant nothing?”
Jo laughs, high pitched and tinny. “Not entirely. It was the night I figured out that dick isn’t exactly my thing, after all,” she replies with turned up lips, nudging Anna next to her. “And that redheaded girls are.”
“Aw, you’re making me blush!” Anna squeals back in delight and knocks her hip into Jo’s.
“You’re all disgusting,” Dean mutters under his breath as he turns away, but doesn’t get far before Jo’s fingers wrap around the hem of his jacket and pulls him back.
“You’re not going anywhere,” she chastises with a wagging finger. “It’s game time and you’re our first participant.”
Dean quirks an eyebrow up at Jo but doesn’t get to ask what the hell she’s talking about before the entire room is called into order with Anna’s loud whistle.
“Okay, listen up everyone! It’s almost midnight and we haven’t played any games yet. Who’s up for a little round of spin the bottle?’”
The wolf whistles that ring out through the room echo around Dean and he finds himself being pulled forward with Jo’s clinging fingers.
“Everyone sit in a circle!” Anna commands, and the rest of the partygoers follow her instructions. Dean plops himself down next to Jo, and when he turns to his right Benny’s sitting by his side, bottle of whiskey clutched between his fingers as he chats with Jess. Bela and Ruby sit next to Anna, whispering into each other’s ears, while Lisa and Cassie file in accordingly. But what catches Dean’s attention is Cas sitting directly across from him, blue eyes glancing downward while a still drunk Sam topples to the floor in a tangle of arms and legs.
“The rules are these,” Jo announces with her palms raised in the air. “One person spins the bottle. Whoever the bottle lands on is their partner. Said partners will go into a closet for seven minutes- no exceptions. And whatever you two do in there? Well, that’s up to you.”
Whistles ring out once again and Dean feels his cheeks heat. Knowing Jo, she’s gonna rig the bottle in one way or another, and his mind is already racing with whom she’d pair him up with. He locks eyes with Lisa Braeden across the room, and her answering blush only makes him want to get away faster. He likes her well enough, but imagining being shoved into a closet with her for seven minutes will no doubt be awkward beyond belief. Cassie is another option, he realizes quickly, and his gut churns at the thought of being paired up with his ex-girlfriend. Either way, it’s going to be horrible, weird, uncomfortable.
“How about we begin with…Dean?”
“C’mon, it’ll be fun!” Jo exclaims while pushes the bottle in his direction. “Give it a go and see what your future beholds,” she says while waving her fingers in the air.
He grunts once but doesn’t try to fight her on it. Instead, Dean spins the bottle as fast as he can and prays to whoever’s listening that it doesn’t land on anyone unsavory.
It spins around for longer than anyone could possibly think necessary before slowing down. It flies by Ruby and Bela, Benny and Jess too. It looks like it’s gonna land on Sam, but the bottle slows to a stop right in front of Cas instead.
In This Moment: Ritual Track-By-Track Album Review [With Pictures]
“Shame says that because I am flawed, I am unacceptable. Grace says that though I am flawed, I am cherished.” - Abigail Williams: The Crucible, Arthur Miller
All begin to gather around a huge bonfire in the dead of night, decked out to the nines in appropriate attire for the onset of a demonic religious ceremony. Witch drums build to an overpowering bone-chilling crescendo as chants bellow in the background, and you know what is about to take place. Here we have an introductory track which is very stereotypically In This Moment. They firmly believe in taking people on a journey, and it is why they always go to great pains to create a story within the music with each album. This album is no exception as they once again begin the album with a track that crescendos and builds tension and generates excitement for what is to come. The ritual begins here.
The concept of good and evil is explored heavily on this album, and here is where that story begins. The crux of this song is someone exploring the depths of their own psyche, fighting an internal battle with their dark and light sides. And, in a way, this person feels ashamed of being flawed, feeling as if they must be purified in some way to rid themselves of this shame. It asks the all-brooding question, “Am I Lilith or am I Eve?” which, in my opinion, is the heart of the song and is the question that is explored throughout the entire track. Who am I really? Am I the good person that I know myself to be, or am I really as evil as others think I am?
It’s a nice night for a black wedding. A priest and a nun come together in the wee hours of the night to confess their sins to one another. There is indiscretion afoot on both sides of the booth. This song mirrors that of a Catholic confessional, given its back and forth style of vocalizing with the one and only Rob Halford of Judas Priest. This is one of my favorite tracks on the album, simply because of the imagery attached to it. From my perspective, it’s about the whole concept of star-crossed lovers; people who initially could have been good for each other, but ultimately were destined to be ripped apart. With its whimsical piano introduction and poppy chorus, it is destined to be single material at some point. The vocal interstitial at the end of the song of the recited bible verse really fits in well with the theme of the album and helps stitch together the theme with ease.
IN THE AIR TONIGHT
I can feel it coming in the air tonight. The light voices on the wind signal what is about to happen. Here we have a very haunting and melancholic rendition of Phil Collin’s classic song, “In The Air Tonight”, which was inspired by his own wife’s infidelity and discussed events which ultimately lead to their divorce. Their rendition gives it a much more witchy vibe, foreshadowing things which have yet to take place. It injects you with this uneasy feeling that something could happen at any moment, but at the same time knowing that it was meant to happen all along. How do you take a song that’s already perfect and make it even more so? You can’t. You just have to use it to tell your own story, and I truly believe that is what they’ve done with their version.
JOAN OF ARC
The exploration of good vs evil is put center stage in this track from the get-go, with the first line being a line sampled from the 1999 film, The Messenger: The Story Of Joan of Arc. It asks the question, “Who are you to even think you can know the difference between good and evil?” Maria set out to use Joan of Arc as a metaphor for her own crucible, in which she suffers at the hands of the masses for not living up to their expectations. But she has come to terms with who she is and does not find fault in others, instead allowing them to burn her at the stake for their crimes, thus making herself a martyr for her own cause. She’s saying, go ahead and set me on fire if it makes you feel better, but it changes nothing. This one is another one of my favorites.
RIVER OF FIRE
I wanna feel you strike me down with lightning. Here we continue on with the theme explored in Joan of Arc of allowing yourself to be crucified, only here it is done in a way which is much more direct. There is a ritualistic back beat that pounds throughout the entire track, giving you the feeling that you are now in the midst of the ritual you came to experience. This song says, I want you to give me everything you got, all of your hate; pour it down on me like rain from the sky because I want to feel all of it. Let it rain, bring on a hurricane and baptize me in a river of fire because I want to drown in your wrath and fury.
This is the witching hour. Three witches gather around a bubbling cauldron in the middle of a dark wood. This song’s origin no doubt resides in Maria’s trip to Salem, the site of the Salem Witch Trials. It puts this story on display right from the beginning, sampling a sound byte which speaks on that very thing: “Superstition and fear drove them all to accuse their friends and family of consorting with the devil.” This song also explores her own real-life crucible of persecution even further, with her no doubt feeling vilified by those around her for the things she thinks and believes and the way she expresses herself. Even given its dark nature, this is easily one of the poppiest songs on the album in regards to production value. It utilizes a mesmerizing trap beat that casts its own spell on you throughout the entire track. This song is voodoo in the purest sense of the word and is my favorite song on the album.
Crawl into these flames with me. This is one of the most insanely beautiful songs on the entire album and it is one of my top favorites. This song steps away from the good and evil exploration for a quiet moment with your soulmate within the flames of the bonfire. The idea of twin flames is a very esoteric concept. The idea is that people share one-half of each other’s souls. They are pieces of one soul split into two, thus the appropriate lyric, “One flame bursting into two”, which more or less signifies the separation of these two soul halves and these people going their separate ways. The idea is explored in much of the star-crossed fashion of Black Wedding. It has this harpsichord chord progression that pulls you inside the fire’s incandescent glow.
HALF GOD HALF DEVIL
Without the darkness, there’d be no light in me. This song represents the full integration of dark and light. Maria has come to terms with everything that has happened to her, both the good and the bad and embracing all of it. It’s this knowledge of self and experience that frees her from the negative perceptions of those outside her. It also answers the question posed in Oh Lord. Am I good or am I bad? It’s both. And you cannot hope to achieve full enlightenment until you learn to bring both sides together. This is another one of my favorites because this is the moment where I can feel that she is finally comfortable in her own skin and is letting the world know that you cannot have the good without the bad.
NO ME IMPORTA
The simple truth is that I just don’t give a fuck; I don’t care. This is the continuation of that strong self-knowledge. In a way, it feels as though it’s about people who criticize her from the comfort of their keyboards, analyzing her every thought, word and move in an effort to try to “fix” her. It’s about knowing that you’re messed up, about knowing that these flaws are simply just part of who you are and there is no problem at all. There’s an undeniably catchy chord progression in this song that will leave you hooked. There are lots of starts and stops and words that just kind of run into one another. I have to admit I didn’t know what to think of this song at first because I didn’t really understand what was going on lyrically, but now that I know and get what it’s about, I’m happy to say it’s another one of my favorites.
There’s this sick part of me thankful for the hate. This song is the apex of the album’s theme. Part of it is learning how to transmute hatred. When you know who you are and you are grounded in your own self-belief, the words of others begin to lose effect. Where do your roots start and where do your roots end? How well do you know yourself? Do you let the perceptions of others get to you or do you use them to your own benefit? In a way, it represents our connection to ourselves and to source. It says thank you for all of the hate because it has only made me stronger. It shows that without the bad, I would not be who I am today. Because she really does need it to help strengthen her own personal resolve and evolve as a human being.
LAY YOUR GUN DOWN
Won’t you lay your gun down? This song explores the album’s underlying theme one final time, in an attempt to lay her own gun down. In an intimately flawed final moment, Maria acknowledges her own flaws and lays them bare for the world to see. All these twisted little parts of her are what make her who she is. And in coming to terms with this, she reaches her own level of self-actualization. Pull the trigger and fire away because she’s made of scar tissue. Everything that has happened to her has made her indestructible. In This Moment are known for their low-key endings, and this song mirrors that of songs like Out Of Hell from Black Widow and 11:11 from Blood. You can really feel the emotion in the last few seconds of the album and feeling a sense of gratitude for what you have just experienced. The ritual has now come to an end.
Janna barely glances up from the doodles she draws on her notebook in between crudely-taken algebra two notes. A majority take the form of cool statues Tom and Star showed her when they all went to his castle in the Underworld. “What, like, more than usual?” She snorts, and Jackie has to fight to roll her eyes.
“I’m serious,” she whispers, looking up and across the room where Marco sits. They’re all in the same math class again this year, which is nice. But Marco’s right next to the window while her and Janna were assigned to the back, and for the entirety of class time, he’s gone between staring outside or angrily texting on his phone. “He isn’t even paying attention!” And Marco Diaz always pays attention.
Janna coos, following Jackie’s gesture briefly to where his face was practically inside his desk. “Maybe he’s starting to embrace that bad boy persona.”
“Right, sorry,” she sighs, flipping her notebook and beginning a new drawing - something that looks more like from one of her summoning books she used to read at the library with Jackie. “I dunno, Jackie,” with her voice dismissive, she hopes the conversation ends there, and Jackie can take a nap as Skullnick dully describes monomials, like some twisted lullaby for Sophomores.
“Do you think it’s about Star?”
Janna pauses her drawing, grimacing. The entirety of the situation is…touchy, and Jackie prying into it instead of living in blissful ignorance doesn’t make any of it more comfortable to watch. She feels bad, and she kinda wants to smack Marco for being so stupid, but she knows it’s not really anyone’s fault. “I think -”
“So it is about her!”
Janna shushes her, looking around at the few classmates that stole quick glances back at the pair. “He’s more than likely talking to Star, yes.”
“He’s been all angry and upset since we hung out with her and that demon-guy. Tom, right?” She doesn’t wait for Janna to respond. “I don’t get why. It’s not like him and Star fought at all. She just was with Tom a bit more than the rest of us.”
“Yeah, her and Tom are pretty close lately.”
“Do you…” Jackie stops, looking up at where her boyfriend looks out the window, chin in his hands and a frown adorning his features. She didn’t want to admit it, but lately his attitude has pretty much shown all the clear signs pointing to the obvious. “You don’t think he’s jealous of them, do you?”
Jackie watches Janna silently, anxiously tapping her pencil back and forth on her palm tree-styled pencil case as she waits for a (hopefully reassuring) opinion. She’s feared complications in her relationship with Marco ever since his end of the year party, but she thought all of that was fine when Marco told her he kept his friendship with Star completely platonic. But now, she’s not really sure.
Janna turns towards Marco, where he’s seemingly brought back from the rain outside to the reality of his cellphone. Her eyes follow him as he swallows, almost looking hurt, while reading whatever message he just received, scowl deepening, and then types furiously into his phone. Janna, who’s been quietly observing him ever since he learned Star and Tom were on good terms again, with Tom providing a supportive shoulder for her to lean on lately, looks on with disapproval. Even with Jackie in her ear anxiously, she felt bad for him.
She turns back to her waiting friend. “Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer to.”
Jackie blinks. “What is that supposed -”
“Jackie Lynn Thomas!”
She jumps, nearly falling out of her chair at the sound of her teacher’s booming voice. The voice or the harsh glare or snarling teeth - she can’t figure out which scares her more.
“Maybe you can come up here and explain how to find the area in this equation? Since you seem to understand it enough to talk so much.”
“I, uh -” she looks away from the pitiful stare of her close friend over to Marco. Even through the trolls yelling, he still hasn’t looked up from his phone. And is he getting sadder the longer he looks at it? She can’t even tell anymore. “No, I’m sorry. I’ll pay better attention now.”
Miss Skullnick scoffs, turning back to the board and muttering things about ‘ungrateful students’ and whatnot. Relieved from that embarrassment, she turns back to her friend, who’s back to doodling in her notebook and ignoring her. And meanwhile, Marco’s mood radiates depression as he goes back to watching the rain, ignoring everyone else.
For the first time ever, she’s grateful watching Miss Skullnick write obscene fractions, something she thinks she’d have a better time figuring out then whatever is going on with everyone.
drowning; Darkness surrounded you and your lungs were filled with tar making it
impossible to breathe. You gasped for air and clawed your throat in hopes that
pain will somehow make you forget the feeling of suffocation. You wanted to
scream and cry and hit your head against a wall, but you didn’t. You did
nothing like that. Instead, you just sat there silently and listened.
listened to his heart thumping in his chest, listened to his words that
reverberated in your ear. You listened to the way his breathing was so even and
synchronised with yours. He murmured something in your hair every once in a
while and a sigh would leave your mouth in content.
helping you breathe. His hands were wrapped around your back and your forehead
head rested on his collarbone. Sometimes
for no reason, he would just press his
lips against your temple or the back of your head and breathe into you. It
wasn’t a kiss, it didn’t feel like a kiss and yet it made you feel better
inside. You could kiss him back; you wanted to kiss him back. You wanted to do
each time you felt his hands rubbing your cold arms, each time he pressed his
body closer, each time he whispered in your ear “It’s going to okay”
you could see his face, if only your brain didn’t alert you every once in a
while that it was Min Yoongi.
“Am I am
going to die?” you tilted your head to look at his face even though you couldn’t
through the blindfold.
his only reply.
if I’m going to die,” you said sadly and
placed your head on his shoulder again “Don’t lie to me”
not going to die. I’m not going to let them touch you”
don’t want to die, at least, not right now. Don’t let me die Yoongi.” You
squirmed underneath him and he rubbed your lower back.
I promise,” he said the same thing he had
been saying for hours now.
going to tie your hands and feet and throw you in the trunk of the car. Yoongi
objected treating you like some animal on the way to get slaughtered. One of
his father’s men said orders were orders and he didn’t say anything after that.
At some point, You fell to the ground weak and scared, the thought being locked
up in a trunk for god knows how long whilst being tied up frightened you to
core. You were a crying heap of mess but
you still didn’t object. Until, through the corner of your eyes you saw it.
One of those suited men carried Jung shin’s limp body on his shoulder. Blood
was dripping from his mouth and his face looked too pale. Why did he look so
stomach roiled at the sight of him like that and gag reflex almost gave up but
you still gathered some strength that was left in your body to get up on your
feet as you started pacing towards him.
If you best friend was dead you should know. You needed to know. His
friends needed to know, his mom and dad needed to know. If he was dead then
they need to know that you killed him. You were running towards him but your
steps came to a sudden halt when a hand was wrapped around waist stopping you
from going ahead.
need to see him. I need to see if he’s okay” you said while trying to get out
of the person grip. “I need to see him
once. He’s bleeding.. he needs help.”
don’t need to see that right now” Min Yoongi picked you up and turned you over
the other side.
“I need to
see him! Let me go, please just once. Let me go!” you cried and pleaded. But
his grip only got tighter. You were clawing and scratching at his hand, you
stomped at his feet but he still wouldn’t budge.
need to see if he’s okay. I promise I won’t run away. I saw him bleeding! Just
let me see him once. ONCE MIN YOONGI
sorry. I’m really sorry” was the only thing he uttered and you too, just like Jung shin, fell limp underneath his grip.
sorry” he whispered again and your heart stopped for a millisecond as you fell
to the ground.
called out to you but you only heard your own heart beating inside so fast you
swore it was trying to tear out of your chest. The ground was moving too fast
beneath you, His voice echoed too loud and too slow. He called out to you over
and over again. There was that booming noise in your ear again. Like that day
when Yungjae had died. But this time it
was so loud your head was starting to hurt. Yoongi was still saying something
to you.. you couldn’t hear him anymore. Behind your own heaving, you couldn’t hear him. Something was stuck in your throat,
it was itching and you tried to scratch it way but that only made it worst. Is
this what dying feels like? And then you heard Yoongi.
need to get up-” he yelled and you looked at him with eyes red and teary while
still clutching your chest with your one hand.
can’t..” you said gripping the front of his shirt “I can’t breathe-”
HAVING A FUCKING PANIC ATTACK! YOU IDIOT” he screamed at one of those men who
tried to come close to you. Yoongi gave him a death stare and he took a step
from her! Any of you try and come close to her I’ll strangle you to death with
my own hands” he growled. You were still wheezing with your forehead on his chest. He took your face in his hands and
started talking to you quietly.
listens to me okay,” he said softly while
caressing your cheeks. “Just look at me only me ..”
while clutching his hand, Digging your nails into his wrist in the process.
going to be okay. Jung shin isn’t dead,
he’s hurt a lot. But He’s fine he’ll be fine-” he said wiping your tear away
with his thumb. “You don’t have to worry about him okay. Just look at me”
going to hurt you. I promise you’ll be fine. I promise y/n”
In all of
this chaos, you were standing right in the middle. It was always so chaotic and
messy around you and yet whenever he said it would be fine, that he would not
let anyone hurt you, you blindly believed him. Why do you always do that?
Believe his empty words and promises.
‘because’ he had promised.
at me. Only me y/n. I’m here for you” and you did as he said. You only looked
at him and you knew , for the time being, it was going to be okay.
As long as Yoongi was beside you,
okay?” you asked “Is Jung shin okay? I just
want to see him once”
fine..” Yoongi whispered in your hair.
lying? I want to see him, did they take him to a hospital?-” you tried to
remove your blindfold but he stopped you.
What are you doing? Don’t do that. They don’t want you to see where we’re going
that’s why you’re blindfolded”
I’m going to die what’s the point?”
not going to die. Stop saying that” he said in a stern voice.
“I want to
see you” you moved your hand to touch his face and he backed away. And then you
removed your blindfold and lifted your
gaze and he looked at you surprised.
you’re scared y/n, but you have to trust me. I promised you didn’t I-”
“I’m not scared,” you said hugging him again “Just a
little tired. I just want it all to end fast. So I can go back home-” he
wrapped himself around you and you sighed tiredly.
close my eyes and pray really hard will this all end?” you asked “If I close my
eyes will I wake up from this bad dream? I am just really tired Yoongi. Don’t
you get tired sometimes? So tired that you don’t ever want to wake up from your
“Every day,” he said sadly “That’s everyday”
the car stopped and the driver turned and looked at Yoongi.
here sire” hearing his words you buried
your face in Yoongi’s chest and held onto him more tightly.
for a bit,” he said and the man looked at
father is waiting for you. We’ve already wasted enough time”
leave us for a bit. Do I have to repeat myself?” the person still looked
hesitant about leaving you two alone.
of the damn car before I drive it over your dead body,” Yoongi said annoyed now. “Run to father and tell him I’ll
bring her inside in 5 mins. Do it. If you’re not out of my sight in 3 sec-” the
person quickly got out of the car and disappeared leaving you two alone.
stayed in silence, intertwined in each other’s embrace. It
wasn’t the bad kind of silence; it was the good kind of silence. The kind of
silence where words are irrelevant and only breathing and heartbeats can be heard, The kind of silence
that you hear in a library, the kind of quiet that old lovers share, the stillness
that there is on a starry moonlit night. It
was the good kind of silence that you’ve been craving for so long.
you were almost home.
hearing his voice you opened your eyes but didn’t look up to see his face.
hummed on his chest.
to go” you didn’t say anything in return. But you wondered where you had to go
now? Home? To his father? Back to that
room? Maybe he was trying to tell you that this was the end and you had to go.
listen to me,” he said in a hushed tone
as if someone would hear him. “You have to go” why did he keep saying you.
Wasn’t he going in with you?
“I know,” you said closing your eyes.
“No, listen to me.
you have to go. You have to get out of here”
he said moving back to look at your face.
to run Y/n” Yoongi and grabbed your face “You have to run as fast and far as
you can! Just run-”
your head mumbling ‘No’ and let your head fall back on his chest, he sighed
tiredly and placed his hand on the back of your scalp and dug his fingers into your hair.
running until you’re far far away from here-”
running anymore. I’m tired.”
them at bay until then”
want it all to end. It’s better if I die isn’t it. Jungshin is probably dead. I
killed him” you looked at him “How am I supposed to live knowing Jungshin died
because of me?”
“Jung shin isn’t dead. And neither will you die”
Yoongi said moving his head “My father won’t just kill you. He doesn’t just
kill people. He makes them pay for what they did.”
did I do? What did Jungshin do?”
you did nothing. It was my fault and my father will make you pay for it. And I
don’t want that. That’s why I’m telling you to run y/n. we don’t have much time.
Before they come and drag you inside that warehouse and I’m helpless.. please
still crying when Yoongi grabbed your shoulder and shook you.
listen to me for fuck sake! Stop crying and listen to me” he said grabbing your
chin and making you look at him.
open that car door you start running. Just keep running, don’t stop for anyone
until you find a cab or a taxi. And then go somewhere, don’t go home just now,
just go into hiding. stay as hidden as possible” you nodded while still sobbing.
about Jung shin?” you said removing his
know where he is,” Yoongi said sounding a
little dejected “I don’t know where they took him”
grabbing a fistful of his shirt “Find him. I don’t care whether it’s alive or
dead. Just find him please-”
I’ll try to find him. I promise” another one.
I find you? How will you find me? I want to see you again” who would’ve known
those words would ever come out of your mouth. He looked around for a sec as if
realising he hadn’t thought of that before.
“Find a police
station; file a missing complaint of your friend Jung shin. That way I would be able to track you down easily. Now go” he
said opening the car door behind you.
“Run y/n” you
looked at the tempting offer of freedom that lay ahead of you. And then you
looked at Yoongi who was eagerly waiting for you to run off.
Yoongi” you turned away and almost stepped one foot on the cemented ground
when his voice stopped you and you turned around.
Wait. Just-” Yoongi scooted closer to you “Just a second, just wait-”
closer to you so that the distance between you two was merely of inches. He
leaned his forehead against yours and reluctantly placed his one hand on your
it okay?” he whispered, eyes closed.
kiss me back” he said pressing his lips
against yours. But you did it anyways, you kissed him back.
“Don’t?” he said in-between kisses “Don’t do
want to,” you said breathily and looked
at him .Yoongi looked back at you without any hint of surprise or joy or
anything on his face. It was a blank paper this time.
“Go now,” he said pushing you away “Run along love”
you gave him one last sad smile and said your parting words.
you again Min Yoongi,” you said before
jumping up on your feet and running towards the horizon. You didn’t look back
to see if Yoongi stood there watching you, you didn’t turn around to see if
people were after you. You just ran, just like he told you to.
towards the freedom that waited ahead
“She runs fast,” Yoongi thought to himself as he watched your
little figure -from the rear view mirror
- sprinting across the field, turning into a dot and disappearing from his line
of vision. Yoongi hopped into the vacant front seat and opened the glove
compartment and started scrambling through all the useless stuff.
A pack of
cigarette and a small handgun were the only useful thing he found.
he counted, more than enough for him. With an unlit cigarette dangling from his
mouth, he placed his head on the dashboard and watched the sun set across the
horizon. The dying rays of sun were spreading
across the great wide world around him. The vibrant red, mellow orange and happy
yellow all looked like a bright firework across the blue sky. Burning bright
before it fades out and night consumes it all. If only his eyes could capture
the beauty of all.
Yoongi wondered why he didn’t feel like this more often. Why his heart didn’t
flutter at such sites? Why was he so dead inside?
Oh, now he
remembers why he hated you so much at first glance.
you were exactly opposite of what Min Yoongi was. You were lively, lovely,
caring, happy and unburdened. You were the type of person who melted hearts and
changed people for good. Whereas Yoongi was rotten inside, he didn’t feel
anything for anyone. Yes, he did care about his family. That included Jimin,
Taehyung, Hoseok, and Jin. But that was
it. Nothing in this world mattered more to him than this organisation and those
And now he
was adding you to this list? Why?
because you were brave. Maybe it was because you were so reckless and stupid or
maybe because you were all three of those. Whatever you were, Yoongi had always
hated you for it. Hated you for not leaving him behind to die, hated you for
saving his life.
you because you made him want to be alive. And that he could never be.
a tap on the window; Yoongi turned his head to look at the face peering at him
the car door and stepped outside. The man looked around, probably for you, and
then slightly nodded his head as if agreeing with himself that you were gone.
father is waiting,” he said And Yoongi smiled and placed a hand on his shoulder.
“Lead the way,” he said and the man did.
was, standing beside father. Pink Hair tousled up and eyes tired from sleep
deprivation, he was still wearing the same clothes from 2 days ago. His one eye
was black and his whole face looked bruised but patched up. And yet, he was
smiling. Even with a swollen face like that, he was grinning ear to ear.
should’ve known that Namjoon would run to his father the moment his turf was
evaded. Father always protected him from Yoongi, hid him away whenever Namjoon
was threatened. Even when they were kids and Namjoon stole Yoongi’s stuff and
Yoongi tried to confront him he would run to father and lie that Yoongi had hit
him. Father would punish Yoongi instead; break a finger or two to teach him a
lesson. Yoongi always let it pass, because Namjoon was younger because they were family. He should’ve never let it pass.
Namjoon took a step forward with arms wide open to hug him but Yoongi took out
the gun that was tucked in his belt and pointed it at his head.
fuck up,” he said and Namjoon smiled and
“You see ajusshi (Uncle) I told you he doesn’t want to
accept the hand of friendship” he talked to Yoongi’s father while his eyes were
still stuck to Yoongi’s face. His father paid no mind to Yoongi or his
‘insolence’ and kept turning the pages of the file that he was reading. Sitting
on a chair, legs crossed over one another, he scratched his jaw with his thumb
and motioned one of his men who was standing behind to come in front. The man
obliged and stood right beside his father.
gun and check for any other weapon. If he refuses to cooperate, break his left hand” He said it as if Yoongi wasn’t
standing right in front of him. The man snatched the gun from his hand and
patted him down and went back to his previous position. All the while Namjoon
stood smiling proudly as if it was some kind of achievement for him.
you want this time, father?” Yoongi asked
his father who simply didn’t care.
was your loss Namjoon?” he ignored his son and looked at Namjoon.
Namjoon first looked at Yoongi and then turned to his father “All my men were
killed by his dogs; they even took all the money and burned down the whole
building. I lost all the guns. How am I supposed to do business now? I have
clients. I don’t have anything left” he tried to put on a damsel in distress show
for father but Yoongi saw right through it.
they?” his father finally looked at Yoongi “Where are your pets?”
their fault. I asked them to do it; they’re not going to pay for something I
told them to do” Yoongi replied.
wasn’t my answer” his father retorted, “I
asked you, where are Jimin and hoseok?”
know” Yoongi shrugged.
got up from his seat and straightened his suit.
be paid all you’ve lost. But to get everything back up.. it will take time.
Until then you’ll work with him. You can do all your business with him-” he
said placing a hand on Namjoon’s shoulder.
“I am not
working with him. Put a bullet in my head if you want that to happen” Yoongi
hissed at his father and his father walked up to Yoongi and grabbed a fistful
of his green hair.
happen. I will make sure it happens.
Have you forgotten who your father is Yoongi huh?” he said digging his nails into his scalp. “I am willing to look over
everything, all your stupid mistakes, and
recklessness. but not with business. If something or someone comes between my
business, be It my son or his favorite toy, I will not hesitate to rip it out”
why you sent her away?” Yoongi said biting his lower lips “Is that why you sent
mother away? Because she was a weed and you had to rip her out. If you had to
get rid of her why not just kill her? Why
did you send her so far way? You have some fucked up rules fa-” a punch square to the jaw shut him up. He
tasted metal and a painful sting on the left side of his mouth. His father was
forty plus but he still had that kind of strength in his hands, it amazed
still on the ground when he felt the sole of his father’s shoes slightly
crushing his right palm.
we had made clear,” his father said
putting a little pressure “Things we would never ever discuss. Have you
forgotten son” Yoongi writhed a little underneath him.
mother was one of them.” then he was putting all his weight on his foot
leaving Yoongi in immense pain but he never made a sound. “If you ever talk
about her in front of me again.. I’ll do much more than breaking just a bone” with
that he removed his foot and walked over to his chair.
up till he spills out where Jimin and hoseok are” he ordered one of his men and
the man nodded “Just make sure he doesn’t die. I only have one son after all-”
Namjoon’s voice turned both Yoongi and his father’s head.
I’m not asking for much but he owes me this much, doesn’t he?. So can I have
the honor-” Yoongi laughed at Namjoon’s pathetic little request. This was the
only way Namjoon would ever get to win.
whatever you want. Just don’t kill him-” his father said before falling back on
his chair and going back to reading his file.
smirked and started walking towards Yoongi who was just getting up from the
hard feelings,” he said before landing
another punch on Yoongi’s face.
only 12 the first time he heard his bones cracking. He was strapped to a chair,
writhing underneath the ropes, wishing death would somehow find him.
kneeled in front of him, holding his pinky finger and threatening to do the same
he had done with his index, middle finger and the thumb.
I’m so sorry father I won’t do it again. I promise please I am so sorry” he
kept saying it over and over and over again.
He had brought a puppy home and refused to give it away. Father had first
drowned the puppy and then strapped Yoongi to the chair to make a man out of
him, in his own words.
Yoongi’s first experience of pain. After that,
it became too common for him. The pain, he realized, you can get used to it.
The pain you felt outside wasn’t difficult to handle but the one that lurked inside
was much more complicated. Namjoon’s knuckles didn’t hurt as much as the fact
that it was Yoongi’s own father who did it all to
him. Years of practice has made him
better at hiding the pain.
breathing heavily; his legs were wrapped around Yoongi’s torso and knuckles
were glowing red. Brows damp and sweat dripping from his forehead; he was the
one who stopped for some time to catch a
Namjoon said huffing “you still have life left in you hyung”
him a red bloody smile and coughed up blood. Before muttering something that
made Namjoon’s eyes go wide.
you just say?” he grabbed his collar to listen to him closely
“I said ..go
to hell” that’s when Namjoon’s face turned red in anger and he lifted his fist
again to land another punch on Yoongi but his father’s voice stopped.
“Stop,” he said and Namjoon let Yoongi’s body fall to the ground “This
isn’t going to work,” he said getting up
“He may be
strong but that doesn’t mean he is super human. Get off him” he said and
Namjoon quickly got up and walked away from Yoongi.
stubborn mule. No matter how much you push him, hit him he doesn’t budge. Pain
doesn’t work on him” his father said “that’s how I have raised him”
thoughts were racing through Yoongi’s head right now. Most of them were impractical;
some of them were downright stupid that he even laughed inside. Like what did
he look right now? Probably like a squashed tomato. He was hoping he didn’t
lose a tooth or something. At some point,
he thought he was going to die. He didn’t mind dying, he wasn’t scared of
dying. He was actually relieved that he would be free from all this mess but
then again, there were a lot of things he still had to do. Like, see his family once more, have one last
meal with Jin Hyung. Maybe watch the sunset again, have a drink.
there was also you.
kissing you, he won’t deny it. He wished he could kiss you again, he wished he
had kissed you longer in the car. Right now he was just hoping you were safe,
that you had found a cab or taxi and you were in some police station. Maybe Jimin
would find you and look after you; the boy seemed to take a liking towards you.
it hit him, father hadn’t mentioned you
once. Did he forget about you? Maybe he just didn’t care. Good that he doesn’t
care. It was much safer to be out of his sight
and out of his mind.
closed his eyes and breathed a little exhausted when he heard his father saying
find her yet?.
Bring her in”
watched as he struggled to get up from the ground and stand up straight but
failed and fell down again, he looked
angry, sad, dejected. Every emotion you never knew Yoongi could actually
taking a step towards him but the man behind you caught your wrist.
and go towards her” the old man you had met earlier, whom Yoongi had called
father, said to him.
you to run. Why are you here? I TOLD YOU
TO FUCKING RUN” Yoongi yelled in a shaky voice.
“I did I’m
sorry. I was running. I couldn’t run fast
enough.” You cried and Yoongi moved his head in resignation.
you were going to pull some trick like this. Help her flee so I put my men all around the area”
whore” Namjoon glared at you in disgust. “She’s the whore he evaded my
turf for. First, he sends her in then
comes back to save her ass. I could-” he moved towards you but Yoongi’s father
her” he motioned to the man behind you “Let her go.” And the man did what was
told of him to do.
“Go,” the old man said “go see him, see my son.
Run to him quick before I change my mind” so you did. You ran towards him and
fell on your knees in front of him and held his face in your hands. What had
they done to him?
second, he was unrecognisable. There was blood coming from his mouth and a gash
on his temple, a cut on his lower lips, and one eye looked too swollen. You
were sure he wouldn’t be able to see through that eye for some time. The left
side of his cheek was swollen too and the right side was bruised pretty badly.
Even after everything he had done to you, you couldn’t help but feel pity for
shouldn’t be here,” he said removing your
hand from his cheek.
shouldn’t be here either,” you said
holding back tears. You placed your forehead against his and closed your eyes.
them what they want” you held his one hand and he entangled his fingers with
“I can’t, that’s the problem”
enough” someone grabbed your hair from the back and pulled you back, you turned
and to your horror it was him. Namjoon smiled grimly.
girl, remember me,” he said turning you
around and you resisted the urge to spit in
fucking rip your throat out if you lay a hand on her-” Yoongi threatened
Namjoon who laughed at him.
even see with your one eye?” he said moving a hand in front of his face.
need hands for that,”Namjoon smiled and
looked back at Yoongi’s father who was watching the show from the back.
“Leave her,” his father said tiredly.
“But ajusshi-” Namjoon sounded a little disappointed
leave her. Let her go”
reason why everything happened. This little whore-
want me to come there and slap some sense into you? Let. Her. Go.” Namjoon lets go of your head with a jerk and started
walking towards the old man.
going to let her live? This bitch is the reason my house is in rubble’s. All my
work, all of it turned into ashes and for what? YOONGI DESTROYED MY HARD WORK
FOR SOME WHORE HE HAD FEELINGS FOR! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING-” a backhand slap
was all it took to shut him up.
screaming in my ear,” his father said
sounding a little annoyed “Who do you think you’re talking to? Just because I
give you a little freedom doesn’t mean you’ll start dancing on my shoulder. If I
could do that to my own son what do you think I’ll do to you? Don’t fly so high
Namjoon; I may have to clip your wings”
“I’m sorry,” Namjoon said without looking at the old
man who walked right past him, making his way towards you and Yoongi.
love her?” the question caught you off guard. “Do you love this girl?”
looked up at you and then at his father.
father assumed the answer himself. “If you don’t love her then you wouldn’t
mind me giving her to Namjoon? Would you?”
looked conflicted more than anything. Even you started wondering if he actually. ‘Loved’ you?
that’s the case.. Namjoon she’s all yours-”
do. I do! I love her. I love her father” Yoongi said and His father then turned to
you love my son too” you eyed Yoongi who was looking at you for an answer.
want to ask him for the answer? Is this
some kind of quiz?”
know” you said looking away “I don’t-“
no “I don’t know”, “Maybe”, “I think so”, it’s either I do or I don’t. You
either love someone or you don’t. For example,
I hate you. I hate looking at you face right now but since I love my son, I am
willing to give you a chance. So little girl-
-Do you or
looking at you for an answer; Yoongi was looking at you and even Namjoon was
looking at you from a distance. They were all staring at you.
“Do you or
don’t you? We don’t have all day. Before I assume what your answer is-”
“I do,” you said quickly “I do, I love him”
understand what his father’s motives were. But you didn’t really care; Right
now, Yoongi was all that mattered to you. In some sick twist of fate that life
took you and Yoongi were hanging on the same boat now, clinging to each for
life. You felt if he was around, if he was wrapped around you, things would
eventually get better.
As long as
you two had each other things couldn’t get any worst.
“Love is a fascinating thing,” his father said “It even blooms in the worst of conditions.
I never thought you would grow up to love someone. I never raised you like
that. But then again, you’re much like your mother.”
won’t allow it.” He said placing his hands in his coat pocket “For men like us
love is a disease that corrodes us from inside until we’re hollow and useless”
just stand aside and watch my son fall to his own destruction. But I cannot
kill her because you won’t let me now, would you? I know what you are capable of Yoongi. What are we left with then?”
leaving us the fuck alone” Yoongi replied and you whispered for him to keep
her. You can have her.. all you want. I give you two days, you’re free. After
two days, she’s going to the workhouse. She could be an asset to us, that way
she pays her debt too. After two days you and Namjoon will start working together.
Work with each other and I’m willing to turn a blind eye on Jimin and hoseok. We
were supposed to be a family, so act like one”
have a family. And you and him have never been included in it” his father
laughed and turned around.
father Yoongi. No matter how much you deny the fact, it will remain like that
till the end of time. Get yourself patched up. You have two days with her after
that Hani will take her. If you try to outsmart
me I’ll make sure she suffers the consequences”
the last thing Yoongi’s father said to both of you before he went out of the
warehouse and his Men followed, all except Namjoon.
be nice to work together again hyung. I
bet Jin Hyung will be surprised to see
me. I can’t wait to see his face. Oh, by the
way, I’ll give him a call on the way out, will tell him to pick you up.
I’ll see you at home” he said before turning around and excitedly following
behind all those men.
“What are we
supposed to do now?” you asked and Yoongi placed his head on your shoulder and kissed the side of your neck.,
he said tiredly “let’s wait-”
for more than an hour in that dingy warehouse with Yoongi who slept while resting his head
on your shoulder. The thought of running way, leaving him all alone here did
pop up in your head quite a few times. But then you would look at his face
twitching in pain time and again, the way he held your hand so tightly.. and in
the end, you couldn’t do it.
The day had already died and the only light illuminating the small warehouse was the moon light coming from the broken down window. After waiting for a long time, you finally heard hurried footsteps coming from outside and saw a shadow of a
figure standing outside the open door. The figure stepped into the light and only then you could tell who it
idiot-” Seok Jin’s breathing was heavy; he stood with his one hand on his waist
while staring at the ceiling above. “You fucking idiot. What did you do?”
opened his one eye and gave Seok Jin lopsided
Yoongi gulped “You’re here. I am really hungry.
Let’s go eat somewhere. I’ll pay this time..” he said before closing his eyes
stepped in front of you and pulled Yoongi up from the ground and wrapped him
around his shoulder. You got up from the ground and watched as Jin started walking
towards the door. You thought he was going to leave you there but then he
turned his head slightly and only said
Loki teaches to live as you are and accept the fact that yes, you have flaws, you have these problems. You don’t have to ignore those problems or push them aside because those problems are part of you. Being a monster isn’t all that bad. Embrace your monstrous side and love it.
When We Were Young: “Kim Seokjin always told himself to live life to the fullest; he always had the mindset that everything happened for a reason and to just let nature run its course, that the universe will figure it all out for him. He believed in fate, he believed that life shouldn’t be thought as regretful, instead you should embrace the bad things that happened in the past and use it to become stronger – but that was before. Before he experienced love for the first time, before he found the one person he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. That was before the one person he lost had been the one person he cared about most; you.” by yoongguksx
Blue Blooded: “ You’ve been happily married to Crown Prince Seokjin for months now. Or so it would appear to the public. What only you and the palace staff know your shameful secret: you never consummated your marriage. ” by @hobibliophile
Sugar? Yes, Please: “Sugar Daddy Yoongi AU. You’re a college student with an aspiration for journalism, but the traumatic experience of being broke and lonely gives you an opportunity to try out something new: become a Sugar Baby.” by @btsfiles
The Equation of Love: “ When you met Yoongi in a club, you thought it was fate that brought the two of you together. But after you walked into your college math class for the very first time, you weren’t so sure anymore. ” by @kookingtae
Caller Number 9: “Because let’s face it, your girlfriends won’t tell you when the boy of your dreams isn’t interested. So what’s left? Calling the late night radio show host known as Min Suga is a good option right? He’ll tell you how it is and ruin you while fixing your love life. Counterproductive? Definitely. ” by @your-miss-right (this is probably my favorite Yoongi fic and it deserves so much love)
Lab Partners: “What happens when your dreams get taken over by your newly assigned lab partner Min Yoongi?” First two parts are readerxYoongi, 3rd is linked in multiple members, by @jungblue
The Purge: “The Purge - one day a year for twelve hours all crime is legal, including murder. Jung Hoseok is a purger, someone who is payed by others to kill for them on the day of total carnage. He’s given a list of twelve names every year, but what happens when your name is on it?” by @jungblue
Dick-stractions: “In which Namjoon breaks the stove and has an… interesting plan to keep you from finding out.” by hobibliophile
Fuckboy Next Door: “Park Jimin was predictable. Cocky, good-looking, a flirt… a common fuckboy. Who just happened to live next to an apartment that you visited every weekend without fail. He was someone you swore to yourself you would never have sex with. But maybe going against your own promise was better than you thought.” by @imaginethesedorks
Time of the Month: (+ the prequel Claimed) BTS werewolf pack. Jimin claims (quite aggressively wink wink) you in front of his other pack members when they notice you are on your period. By @no-more-cream
A Friendly Favor: In which your friend, Taehyung, convinces you to sleep with him so he’ll be prepared for his girlfriend. By @baeseoul
Taehyung and no Chill: “Taehyung teasing you under the blankets during a movie night with the boys.” by @chimble
Territory: “Dogboy Tae gets extremely possessive when “that time of the month” rolls around and find’s it hard to control his natural instincts and his dominating nature during the monthly occurrence.” by @imaginethisbts , includes a sequel
Under the Cloak: “Gryffindor’s star seeker is in danger of being disqualified from participating in their upcoming match against Slytherin due to his less than stellar grade in potions. You’re forced into tutoring him… however you didn’t know that would entail the two of you being at the library, after hours, underneath an invisibility cloak, where you quickly learn that quidditch isn’t the only thing Kim Taehyung excels in.” by jungblue
Like A Man: Jungkook shows you that he’s not a kid anymore. By yoongguksx
Virginity for Sale: “Tired of being a virgin you had plans with you best friend to have him take it but he has other plans.” by @liesfromalover
Fallout: “The world was devastated, and you just wish you had died with the majority of human kind. You were a lone wolf, wandering without a goal besides surviving, until you were brought to their camp and forced to join them.” by @pantaemonium
Jealousy: “You see your boyfriend flirting with someone else, so you try to show him how it feels… and he doesn’t like it one bit. ” by @kookingtae
Tinder 2.0: “graphic Jungkook smut and a ridiculous fuck or die theme” by tayegi
Out of the Blue: “Jungkook has only ever thought of his breeding clients as just that - clients, and he’s always quite indifferent to them since he only ever knows them for a short period of time. But then you come along, and he starts experiencing feelings that aren’t being manipulated by your heat. Real feelings, that he has never harbored before with anyone else.” by imaginethisbts
Hidden Stars: “It started out simple, but when your feelings start to grow for the idol who isn’t allowed to date, things get complicated.” by @jungblue
Lab Partners: “When you and Min Yoongi had first been assigned to be lab partners you thought that your fantasies about him would stay just that, fantasies. But now here the two of you are several months later involved in a full blown friends with benefits relationship. Things are going pretty well, you both get what you want when you need it, but what happens when new transfer student Park Jimin comes into the picture?” by jungblue
The Switch: “You think you’re getting a normal Christmas present from your boyfriend Hoseok, but what he doesn’t tell you is that your gift includes a special power he and the rest of the boys have, enabling them to switch off between one another… during sex.” By @kookingtae
Shameless: “Taehyung’s the new guy in town, just trying to make some friends. And when Jungkook invites him to a party, he thinks he’s finally gotten a good opportunity to meet some new people. But what he doesn’t expect is witnessing his new friend Jungkook and his girlfriend, you, getting it on in front of him, and all of the other guys, at this so-called party” by yoongguksx
The 5th Floor: Yoongi/Hoseok triangle with an OC, Yuna. Yuna is put into an all guys floor in a dorm, and quickly makes friends with one half of the floor, while the other seems to only cause her problems. By @ohyasuko
Push You Down: “You have a dream about riding your best friend Jimin’s thigh, and when he finds out it gets a little out of hand. ft. Taehyung being into it as well.” by @jiminniemouse
Sing Sing: “Losing your virginity to two horny boys in your parents’ basement was definitely not what happened in the movies. There were no beds that hugged you, no whispered ‘i love yous’, and certainly no other cliches associated with a girl’s loss of virginity. It was hard floors painfully rubbing against skin and knees digging into old rugs. The experience was anything but comfortable but one you could never regret.” Taekook smut by @minyeezy
Philophobia: “Sex has its consequences, always; whether for better or for worse, sex always has its consequences. and the drunken rendezvous you have with your best friend is not an exception.” JK/OC/JM by @minsvga
Take A Break: “Jimin has noticed his fellow RA and best friend has been a little stressed lately, so he tries enlisting your help to help him take a break. However, are your boyfriend’s intentions truly altruistic or does he have motives of his own?” by hobibliophile
2 “I’ve been watching you, (Y/N). For tonight, I mean.”
6 “I love the sound of your screams.”
19 “You’re all bloody, what happened?”
It feels like eyes bore in your back, leaving an unpleasant feeling there as you walk down the road. It’s pretty stupid to be alone on the streets of Gotham after the sun went down, especially as a woman. But somehow you’ve to get home and you don’t want to wait for your brother.
You suppress the instinct to look over the shoulder and walk instead faster. The heals of your shoes clatter in an unsteady rhythm as you hear a laughter.
A laughter you know from TV, from the radio.
From one night in January…
You reach out for the gun in your waistband as he, Jerome, grabs you from behind.
Almost like you’re old friends or lovers he hugs you from behind, his cheek clinging to your as he covers your hand, stopping you from pulling the gun out.
“It was you who were following me.” You gasp unnecessarily and he snickers.
“Yes, I’ve been watching you, (Y/N). For tonight, I mean.” He purrs.
His voice surrounds you like a dark cloud of fear with a sparkle of desire.
You shouldn’t like this feeling.
You shouldn’t like his cold body pressed on yours, leaving waves of goosebumps over your body.
You shouldn’t like the affection and attention he’s giving you.
What you should do is ramming your elbow in his stomach and yell after the police car which is standing a few meters away.
Of course, they’re corrupt as you at least try.
Instead of helping you and earn eternal thanks from you brother, they turn around and disappear in the darkness.
“Love the sound of your screams.” He mutters in your ear before a chuckle leaving his mouth. “‘course I wish the circumstances would be different.”
Like to emphasize his words he rubs small circles with his hips against yours. Disgusted you pull away and turn around, wanting to slap the wide grin out of his face.
“I hate you, Valeska.” You spat in his face.
“And that’s what I love about you.” He giggles like a school boy, pulling you back in his embrace. “Does your big, bad brother know about us?”
“Screw you. It was just one kiss and I had no idea who you are.”
Probably you’ll regret your doing as you take the knife out of the pocket and buries it in his shoulder blade. His eyes widen in surprise as he let you go. Quickly you step back, watching how he, a little too dramatically, collapses on the ground.
“Ju-just leave me alone.”
Thirty minutes later you finally reach the apartment. Normally you need at least an hour, but not tonight.
“(Y/N)?” Your brother asks, wearing still his suit as he steps in the hallway.
Immediately he pulls out his gun and looks over your shoulder like the reason why you’re home early and scared to death is still behind you.
“You’re all bloody, what happened?” He wipes some blood and tears from your cheek.
“I’ve to tell you something, Jim…”