embrace fluidity

I start school tomorrow…

I haven’t been to a college class in over 20 years 😳 I know that dates me, but whatever. I’m learning to let go of rigidity and embrace fluidity.

I want to write. I want to write more than boring business reports that very few people ever read and even fewer appreciate.

The only creative writing course available in the evening at my local community college was for screenwriting. What a coincidence that I recently became obsessed with the bad writing at Homeland and started writing fanfic…

I told my husband, “I will write the next Homeland series within five years.” (Actually, I want to write something BETTER than what they wrote the past two seasons, especially this last season.)

Only time will tell, but tomorrow is another chapter in my book of life.

Wish me luck 😬


My take on the prompts for Otayuri week!

[Next ->]

Chapter 1: August 2017 (Confessions)


Saturday Morning


From: Beka [5.45 am]

Good morning, Yura.

To: Beka [5.46 am]


how was ur run

From: Beka [5.46 am]

It was nice. It’s not too hot in the morning.

To: Beka [5.48 am]


ill text u when im done runnin

From: Beka [5.50 am]



yuri-plisetsky posted an image

Ready for my morning run! #nocoffeeyet #ihatewakingupthisearly #NOTamorningperson

From: Beka [6.00 am]

Your hair looks really nice today.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

did you read the vogue article? it's specifically about fluidity of clothing & the importance of it. but the article itself has interviews with a variety of non binary people as well, gigi and zayn only make up half the interview at most.

i have not read the article, because i read the title and i did not want to read that. that’s lovely that at least it’s specifically about clothes and not about gender fluidity in general, which goes beyond clothing and physical appearance, but the title is “gigi hadid and zayn malik are part of a new generation embracing gender fluidity”, which does appear to give them credit for gender fluidity as a concept in general, rather than in fashion specifically, even though, as far as i know, gigi and zayn identify as a woman and a man, respectively. 

also, the title indicates nothing about these non binary folks getting in a word too, which i think is amazing and should be promoted over ‘cool model/singer couple wear quirky clothes’. i love when people get a voice, but it’s obvious that vogue is heavily prioritizing the interview with gigi and zayn, a cishet couple. 

like, wearing a men’s jacket is not ground breaking, people have been doing it for years, and it bugs me that gigi and zayn get so much credit for it when people like janelle monáe, to name one, have been wearing suits to premieres and events for years, and harry styles, to name another, has been wearing women’s clothes and makeup for as long as i can remember.

i don’t hate zayn or gigi, i just strongly dislike this trend of them getting praised for doing the simplest things that they weren’t even the first to do, if you get me.

‘I just want to exist as myself.’ This is a generation’s cri de coeur, and if technology has enabled its elevation as a rallying cry, technology also accounts for the intensity of millennials’ drive to resist categorization. Social-media natives, they’ve been trained from childhood to maintain profiles on Instagram or Facebook that can reduce a person to a list of biographical data or a face among faces competing for “likes”—or function as platforms to transmit a complex, sui generis identity.

I will embrace the fluidity of my identity

I made this sigil because I’ve been struggling with attempts to find a label that fits me, instead or realizing that no one label can encapsulate a person. It is something I understand on an abstract basis, but struggle to put into practice. So this sigil works to help one understand that we are no one thing, but have the potential to be anything, and that fluidity is far better than restricting oneself to a single label.

anonymous asked:

May I ask what brought up the Oh Boy book submission? I realize you are just reblogging it, but where did it come from? For what purpose? I have been scrolling but haven't seen anything about it, just the submission. Thank you Sonja!

Anonymous said:
would it be okay if you could summarize your last reblog because i’ve read it and i can barely understand things LOL


someone found it online and submitted it to @verily-i-say because of how many eerie parallels there are within the book and our observations of fandom/one direction TM and most recently, harry’s ‘another man’ cover (which features leather collars and the words ‘oh boy’ written on one of them)

okay so this is going to be long but i tried to break down all the relevant things:

the excerpt is from a collection of essays regarding how performative gender is but with a very specific focus on what it means to be a boy [versus being a man/a girl etc] in our current cultural hegemony.

hegemony/hegemonic culture means the ‘dominant’ culture. so, in the case of this article, it’s referring to not just the entertainment/news media but dominant cultural constructs as a whole (in particular, the cultural constructs the celebrate ‘manly’ men and ‘feminine’ women and that have very rigid ideas about the societal roles they’re expected to play).

it starts by giving the example of a magazine called ‘oh boy!’ that clearly breaks down the function of ‘boys’ and ‘girls’ both sexually and by using the feminine as a negative barometer for someone who’s not performing masculinity properly (so, in a binary system, the ‘feminine’ would be lesser than the ‘masculine’ according to our current cultural hegemony). it also stresses the difference between ‘boy’ and ‘man’ and emphasizes how, in a boy band, the ‘boy’ has not quite reached the all important ‘manhood’ level and is therefore, ‘enact[ing] and problematiz[ing] a number of important facets of not-yet-stabilized masculinity’ (i.e. it’s the male equivalent of, ‘not a girl, not yet a woman’ by britney spears).

the article then goes on to break down the stereotypical boyband format:
- 4 or 5 boys on the brink of adulthood (not yet ‘men’ but also very clearly not ‘children’)
- each boy has a distinct personality, look, and role within the group
- each boy’s role (or archetype) caters to a different subcategory within their broader audience based on what ‘desire’ they have (i.e. the cute one, the sexy one, the leader, the rebel, etc)
- the boy band members should be attractive but they should not be overtly sexy. so while you can have the cute member or the rugged one, you can’t suddenly throw in jason momoa or brad pitt in thelma and louise because their function within the cultural hegemony is to ‘awaken desire in a young audience, not to bring sexual desire fully to the surface.’

the article then goes on to emphasize the careful tightrope that must be walked by these boy band members. they can’t pose a real threat masculinity-wise to their predominantly female audience. they have to remain attractive and desirable to girls but in a juvenile, adolescent way.

this presents another slippery slope issue, though, because these boys can’t be too androgynous or else they risk upsetting the very distinct and culturally enforced gender binary. so even though they operate in homosocial environments (exactly what you think it means - relationships between people of the same sex [usually referring to men] but not romantic or sexual in nature) their masculinity must always be preserved and their attractiveness to their female fans must always be emphasized because their, ‘masculinities are constructed primarily (but not exclusively) through bonds formed by the exchange of women and their heterosexuality is thus assured.’

then there’s this great quote that i’m just going to leave here: “their heterosexuality is tenuous, of course, and this - combined with the boys’ thoroughgoing borderline operations - is why boybands are embroiled in slippages between discourses of effeminacy and homosexuality.” *cue the entire larry fandom*

then the article gets really interesting and starts talking about how the word ‘boy’ has also been reclaimed in some circles operating along the homosocial-homosexual continuum. and that, “in fact, the sound-object boi functions as a marker of anti normative gender identities across gay youth cultures.’

and here’s where i once again turn into the eyes emoji because, remember all that leather collar in harry’s magazine covers discourse? ‘in the context of BDSM … the word ‘boi’ refers to a sub - a submissive partner in a sexual scenario - and can refer to males or females of any age: in this sense the word is about a power dynamic between two or more people.’

the article then says that some lesbians in the queer community also use the word ‘boy’ to describe their masculinity without being forced to use the stereotypically masculine terms enforced by the cultural hegemony.

then this quote, “for male homosexuals, the term not only plays with the specific power relations gestured at in the man/boi binarism but also embraces a certain fluidity in gender designation” i mean, this goes beyond just the cover discourse and into harry’s behaviour for the past couple of years (at least since 2014 when he’s been able to more openly express himself through how he dresses/his behaviour/that one week in august, anyone?)

and here’s the final relevant quote i’ll highlight: ‘boi as a sound object thus sparks off multiple meanings - boy/girl, boy man, boi/man, boi/grrl (which i kind of skimmed over because it wasn’t super relevant to us imo) - and works like a point of zero gravity in which multiple gender identifications can be formed, and at which the understood in terms of what it ‘is not’ or sites of excessive and/or insufficient masculinity: “masculinity becomes legible as masculinity where and when it leaves the white male middle-class body.”

Sorry for the sudden Yuri on Ice spam, but hear me out:

This show is amazing and seriously makes me hopeful. I know there’s a lot of folks out there in it for the Victuri and don’t get me wrong, I’m so here for it too, but this isn’t like your traditional “yaoi anime”. This show has heart and both Victor and Yuri are treated like real people rather than ship bait props. Like… let’s talk a moment.

First off, YOI focuses on two adults and that alone is refreshing. It’s about the relationship between two adults and all the sexual tension is there, rather than thrown onto kids like in most anime. The fact that the two leads are in their 20s means they’re more mature and developed as characters and it allows for an emotional connection that I find harder and harder to find in shows about kids.

Yuri is a really realistic character. He starts off fat. He canonically has anxiety. He MAY have an eating disorder (my personal conjecture). He’s both shy and unconfident but mature and self aware. He feels not only organic, but relatable. His problems epitomize the fears of being in your 20s. The uncertainty. The loss of direction. The questioning of self. There’s nothing forced or superficial there.

Then there’s the whole flirtatious canonical business between he and Victor. It’s NOT subtle. It’s not a matter of rampant fangirlism. It’s actually there, and without making either character into some sort of joke as seems to be the case with a lot of depictions of gay men in anime. I even heard that the English subs were the ones to explicitly state Victor was asking about girlfriends when in reality he was using gender neutral terms to ask about romantic partners. There’s actually a legitimate foothold when questioning about Victor’s orientation or even the intention of the producers. There was even talk about gender and fluidity. About embracing androgeny and the feminine. That this made Yuri happy and feel more true to himself. That is just. Incredible. Progressive. And it’s so important.

Maybe this will be the one, you know? The anime that just looks at a gay relationship as another relationship. Just accepts it. And that’s probably asking too much, I realize. But these characters and these depictions are super important. This show has a lot of potential and has a different feel than a lot of other anime. I’m not even asking for a kiss, I just want to see Victuri be something substantial, healthy, and canon. Nothing overt needed. Just normalize other sexualities and gender expressions. How cool would that be? These three episodes have felt like such a gift. ♡

Tl;dr Yuri on Ice is great and everyone should watch it, especially if you’re in your 20s and/or part of the LGBTQ+ spectrum. It’s some good stuff.


Here is a whole mess of THROW BACK for you!
I’ve been moving and I found two flash drives with all these pictures!

This was me at the very beginning stages of my transformation.
I had just learned about gender variance and was trying to embrace my gender fluidity by wearing different clothes (Leggings, feminine tops, ect.)
However, I still had not broken free from the masculine shell society had boxed me in.

By the way, all these outfits were shot behind my house, where NO ONE could see me. I was still not confident enough to leave the house in something like what I’m wearing above!

This photo set is just proof that things take time! If you’re struggling with gender identity, I understand the fear & anxiety you’re going through because I have been there myself and these photos are proof. Proof of a time when I was still scared of being non-binary & fearful of what my friends and family would say and if they could accept me.

Keep your head up & push forward!
You are special and most importantly,


-Elliott Alexzander


Teff, the Don || For a seemingly long time - I’d say adolescence, to my early adulthood - I dwelt in this transient state - a state of sleep. Though more fittingly, I would describe it as death. In my study of white - the presence of all colours, and subsequent study of ROYGB, Orange - Orange was the only colour that would not let me sleep, would not let me wallow in this darkness I had come to know. It was my comfort colour; my healing colour. For many reasons. Hence, why it is so repetitive in my narrative as-of-late. 

I create along side the concept of Home. I create in lights, reminiscent of Home. Having been away from mine (Nigeria) for so long, there is, currently, no agenda more superseding than that of Home. 

Rhythm:  There’s something so profound in chasing rhythm, chasing fluidity. And,  embracing it. This is primarily the reason I celebrate and agreed to partake in this platform/project.Understanding that life is more rewarding and fruitful when you sing, when you dance. Literally, and figuratively. I create and serve as my own subject, my own muse. Because I acknowledge I am never-ending, my Art, too, is never-ending. And vise versa. Some days, it’s like…you struggle to breathe. But your Art is breathing, yearning to Be. So you raise yourself and keep up.

This Week in the Life of an Olicity Loving Viper Bitch

Greetings my lovely Babes, Boos, Baes, Divas, Divos, Fanboyz and Fangirls!

We have 17 days until the Arrow Season 3 premiere! It’s been so lovely to be an Olicity fan during this particular hiatus. Not a day has gone by that we have allowed any and all Arrow related discussion to cease, not even for a moment. When Arrow took its hiatus, so did a lot of its fans. It’s what ‘normal/casual fans’ do during a hiatus. And that’s ok. What sets us apart is the undeniable fact that there is nothing normal or casual about Olicity or their fans. They are exceptional. We, are exceptional for seeing it and embracing it with everything we have. 

Keep reading

The Root Cause of Suffering

‘According to Buddhism the unenlightened life is characterised by suffering. The root cause of our suffering is seen to be our misunderstanding of the way things really are. The primary cause of this delusion stems from our clinging to the notion of ourselves as separate, substantial and permanent. We are ruled, in an effort to protect this notion of a separate enduring ‘self’ by the opposing polarities of aversion and desire We cling to impermanent phenomenon as if they were permanent.

By seeing this 'self’ as having inherent existence and substance we limit our perception of reality and accordingly narrow the confines of our awareness. We miss out on the opportunity of really living, which can be said to involve embracing the fluidity, flexibility and constant change of existence.’

- Stephen Hardy, Buddhism, Counselling and Therapeutic Change.

I feel like recently so many of my mutuals and followers have embraced sexuality fluidity and pretty much said goodbye to labels and I’m super happy for them because I’m like me too ladies, me too. you all rock.

im gonna write a scholarly essay on how neopet’s influenced a generation of kids into questioning the constructs of gender and embracing the fluidity of identity via the lab ray which has changed my krawks gender 3 times this week 

Letting Go of Self

‘According to Buddhism the unenlightened life is characterised by suffering, a fundamental unsatisfactoriness. The root cause of our suffering is seen to be our misunderstanding, our misperception of the way things really are. The primary cause of this delusion stems from our clinging to the notion of our ‘selves’ as separate, substantial and permanent. We are ruled in an effort to protect this notion of a separate enduring ‘self’ by the opposing polarities of aversion and desire. We cling to impermanent phenomenon as if they were permanent, material possessions, relationships, and even spiritual experiences.

The path of enlightenment involves letting go of this limiting and debilitating view of the self, the cause of all our clinging, aversion and desire, the root of our suffering. When we act as if the self were permanent this immensely limits our view and miss out on the opportunity of really living, which can be said to involve embracing the fluidity, flexibility and constant change of existence.’

- Stephen Hardy, Buddhism, Counselling and Therapeutic Change: A Personal Perspective, May 2002.