embarassing yourself

things i learnt regarding learning languages

recently i finished second stage of linguistic olympiad, which focuses on translating rare languages based on logical analysis, basically you don’t know the language but there is a logic rule you have to guess to translate things, yeah, its fun, now im waiting for the results of the second stage.

the thing is, after practicing, doing many problems from previous years, i found myself understanding languages’ rules easier. i’ve always been convinced that to learn language is not to learn the rules by heart, but to understand them, so here are my tips based on that:

1. native speakers are your best resource. some may disagree due to them often not being aware of certain grammar rules, but thats the point. learn the usage, not the rules. rules will come naturally to you when you analyse them for yourself based on using the language. 

2. ive been learning russian for almost 2 years now and my teacher has been focusing on remembering the rules, as if thats the best way to learn the language. so we didnt have much access to any context, not to mention poorly made textbooks. but now that ive become familiar with lots of usage, i dont need to stress about the rules, but base the grammar on previous, similiar contexts.

3. you dont need the rules unless youre majoring philology. for real, i understand that its not your native language, but whats so bad about treating it as one? learn it just like kids would. use it.

4. about using it, put yourself in native speaker’s position, change the language of your fav sites, talk to people even if you dont know much yet, stop stressing about grammar. imagine people talking to you without using cases, conjugations - youre still gonna understand them, so why not start with that yourself?

summary:

- analyse the grammar yourself instead of learning written rules (thats also gonna make you remember it better)

- vocabulary > grammar

- make friends with native speakers

- embarass yourself, make mistakes, talk bullshit - its all a way to success

3

Flowers!
Inspired by these three wonderful posts

hc bc i am obsessed w this ship

-so they’re all at lunch one day right

-and michelle is trying to concentrate on reading ofc what else 

-but the two nerds are too busy giggling about something

-and peter’s face is distracting her again

-so she tells them to cut it out

-and ned asks her why she doesnt wear makeup and

-she’s like “why should i”

-and the two boys look like they’re about to pee themselves and michelle would laugh

-if she didn’t feel extremely insecure rn,,

-like it’s never really mattered to her but it was always there gnawing at the back of her mind and

-she haTES HERSELEF FOR LETTing society’s obnoxious standards control her feelings but

-it’s there and it’s probably showing that she’s insecure

-so she just tells them that it’s a long process and she’s just really lazy (which is somewhat true)

-but these losers see right through her dammit and

-then peter turns to ned and he not so whispers  

-”she still looks really pretty tho. like she always looks pretty but she’s got that glow today-”

-and ned joins in, the little dweeb

-”you’ve called her that word before…what is it again?? ethereal??’

-and michelle is trying sO HARD TO HIDE HER SMILE WITH HER BOOK

-then all of a sudden peter’s voice becomes really high (is that even possible at this point lmao oops)

-and he elbows NED

- “duDE!”

-and then ned is like “what? ethe-hahah! ethereal?? did i say ethereal?? wow what even is that?? such a foreign concept?? i meant…um golden!”

-and bc they are also horrible whisperers and they don’t know that she can still totally hear them

-”you can thank me later for the smooth save. she does look golden.”

-and she can literally hear peter and imagine the panicky look on his face rn

-”neD! NOW IS NOT THE TIME!”

-and the bell rings and her cheeks are as red as they can be

-and she hates but also loves the two of them sm rn

-but peter looks very flustered and panicky and nervous when she looks at him for a moment

-but then he notices her cheeks

-and he smIRKS

-michelle does not know how to function

-her mind is literally ………………

-bc holy wow she has never seen peter smirk like that before and

-it’s kinda hot what

-stop it michelle

-she’s literally a mess rn

-michelle, honey, i can #relate

-so she just stands there and stares at them for a sec before going

-”you guys are…losers”

-and she spRINTS away

-and ned is like dude holy crap

-did u just??

-make michelle jones, our decathlon captain-with no mercy, blush and get flustered all while not embarassing yourself

-peter is kinda shook tbh bc kdjadjfkfkf he made her blush!!!

-ned is honestly liVING FOR THIS NEW SHIP

-and the end

team 7 on tumblr
  • naruto: reblogs mostly pics of cute and fluffy animals. #positivity. regularly posts selfies. everyone and their dog has a crush on him. is often tagged in posts by his mutuals. #squadgoals.
  • sasuke: mostly random text posts he relates to. not too personal. woke af. v opinionated and vocal about it. does not give a single fuck. DO NOT get into argument with him, you will only embarass yourself. rants in (and out of) tags.
  • sakura: aesthetics. selfies. social justice. with side shitpost. queen of sarcasm. a true role model. also, her make up is on point and anons never fail to appreciate it.
  • sai: an art blog. has a decent fanbase, but ia just. so bad at interaction w/ his followers. the poor soul takes weeks to reply to his asks. easily flustered!! what a pure cinnamon roll.
  • kakashi: a fandom hoe. writes icha icha fanfiction. sin. it ends up on many fic rec lists. the type of person you go to when you first join a fandom. makes bad puns and loses followers because of it. lots of gay.
  • yamato: now THAT is what i call a shitpost factory. there isn't a meme he misses. expert on memes, memes of memes, and meme fusions. and don't get me started on his nihilism and existential humor text posts. what an inspiration.

anonymous asked:

Samuel,seonho,guanlin,youngmin,and seongwoo reaction to them trying to kiss you but you runaway because you're shy(he's you're boyfriend) that makes sense right?

KIM SAMUEL:

  • “thanks for leaving me hanging” would adjust his cap and raise his eyebrow at you
  • you’d be hiding behind a tree
  • he’s really embarrassed in the inside and would try to understand why you abandoned him like—
  • did he have bad breath??
  • was his kissing face ugly???
  • did you nOT LIKE HIS KISSES????!!
  • inside he’s a total mess
  • and so is his outside lol
  • he’d be kinda fiddling in his spot and trying to lure you back in
  • “it was too sudden yeah?” would sniffle a little
  • kinda heartbroken you backed away
  • in the end you’ll have to muster up all your courage to come back to him and initiate the kiss first
  • samuel would be jumping off the moon
  • …if he could
  • “i was just misunderstanding you wasn’t i?”
  • you would smile and nod
  • he would give you a tight hug and exhale in relief “thank you for loving me”

Originally posted by uenaws


YOO SEONHO:

  • his first instincts/reflex when you ran away from him was to chase after you
  • his legs are long so he’ll overrun you in a short period of time
  • but during the course of the chase,,,
  • you’d be like “wHY ARE YOU CHASING ME??”
  • he’d be like “i don’t know but i didn’t get my kiss!”
  • “i’M SHYYYYY” you would confess while screaming your heads off and running down the park
  • he’ll be like “wHy Are YOU SHY SHY SHY?”
  • he’ll overtake you at this moment and kinda trap you in a back hug
  • you’d tilt your head up for a second to see him going for a second kiss and lowered your head too quickly, which accidentally knocked him on the lip/jaw
  • he’d be in pain but wouldn’t let go of you
  • “i’m so so so so so sooo sorry seonho!” you’d apologise and turn around
  • he’d cower like a kicked puppy
  • “you hit me”
  • “yes i did… i’m sorry”
  • “you hit me”
  • you would nod
  • he would be like “you hit me so give me a kiss”
  • you would be kinda confused at his reasoning but he’ll catch you off guard and peck your lips real quick
  • “transaction complete!” he would chirp once again and wink at you (tries to wink anyway)

Originally posted by lai-guanlin


LAI GUANLIN:

  • would sigh in offense
  • like
  • did you just avoid him
  • or are his eyes playing dirty tricks??
  • you’d be kinda embarassed (not kinda but a lot rlly lol) at your own actions and would kinda repent by going back to his side and hopefully comfort him
  • his pride is kinda broken
  • like
  • his own gf doesn’t want to kiss him????
  • “guanlin?”
  • “…”
  • “my bad…”
  • would glance at you and sigh
  • “are you mad?” you would lean in closer and do a bit of aegyo to try to sooth his mood
  • “no i’m just offended” he would bluntly say
  • you would be kinda down hearing him say that
  • he would feel bad immediately “ok i’m not offended” he would give in “but next time i try you have to comply ok? it was…. awkward when you ran away” he would try to put his feelings into words… but it wasn’t that clear to you
  • “…i was just shy” you admitted
  • he would chuckle slightly “well i’m currently more shy”

Originally posted by brodueces101


IM YOUNGMIN: 

  • “i’m sorry that scared you didn’t it?” he would be concerned that you moved away
  • he does feel hurt but not to the extent that he would neglect his first priority
  • …which is you
  • “i won’t do that again” he would comfort you by simply holding onto your hand
  • you would be like “no! no! you can do it again…”
  • he would be sort of confused but nods anyways
  • “i was just- hmm just—-” you would be shy to confess to him
  • you knew you could trust youngmin to make you feel 10000000 better than before but even you’re feeling second hand embarassment for yourself
  • “honestly, it wasn’t your fault” youngmin would speak up first “if i was in your position i would be shocked too” he would smile
  • you’re kinda like–
  • wHAT DiD I Do tO DeSERVe such an ANGEL???
  • “y-you can kiss me now!” you’d muster up some courage
  • he’d be kinda surprised and shy with wide alpaca eyes and all (he’s also looking around)
  • “when you ask for it now… i’m kinda shy” he would laugh

Originally posted by im-youngmin


ONG SEUNGWOO:

  • would stare at you at first
  • then he would gasp dramatically “oh no how can you avoid me?? the handsome sexy daebak ong seungwoo? the love of your life and the sun of your world? without me you’ll fade into dust my loooove” he’ll kinda opera sing this whole verse
  • you’d be standing there… not knowing what to do
  • *maybe that was a bad move* you thought
  • he would kinda ramble on and constantly glance at you for some reactions
  • you’re kinda used to ong by now
  • “seungwoo will this be solved if i kiss you?”
  • “oh yes thy fair lady please bless muah with your crimson red luscious-” you would cut him off in the middle of his sentence with a kiss and slowly part
  • he’ll stop his drama now
  • would stare at your lips
  • “if i behave will i get a second one?”

Originally posted by coolpotatouniverse

My little puppeteer | Prologue

Genre: Fuckboy!Calum, slight Badboy!Calum

Pairing: Reader x Calum 

Word count: 3,000 +

Summary: But there was something about him. Even if you knew he was bad for you, even if you knew he’d hurt you, even if you knew this wouldn’t end good for you, you had to know him. You had to see him again.  

Prologue Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Epilogue 


He supported himself on his elbows, panting with his dark hair hanging damp on his forehead. After catching his breath, he pulled himself out while grunting hoarsely. He swiftly got up from the bed and tossed the used condom away. “You can go now,” he said haphazardly. As if he didn’t care. As if he got what he wanted. As if he was pulling the strings on a little puppeteer.


Keep reading

Crush (Jaehyun x Reader)

Word count:1485

Plot: You have a crush on Jaehyun.

“Mark! Stop that! It’s not even funny.” You laughed as you hit Mark’s arm. He tried showing you his new ‘personal talent’ by making weird ramen-eating sounds.

“But it sounds real, doesn’t it?” He grinned and showed you again.

“Whatever you say, Mark,” you rolled your eyes in sarcasm.

You and Mark were close friends ever since you guys were stuck as partners in Chemistry class. You guys somehow clicked ever since you both met. While walking down the school hallway, you accidentally bumped into someone, making you drop your wallet you were holding onto.

You kneeled down and picked up your wallet.

“Sorry! I wasn’t looki-” you stopped the moment you saw who you actually bumped into.

Jung Jaehyun.

It was Jung freaking Jaehyun.

You gulped.

“No, no it’s okay. I wasn’t looking too. It’s partly my fault. Don’t worry. I’m sorry too,” Jaehyun said as he greeted Mark and smiled at you.

He smiled.

The smile that made your heart flutter. His eyes turned into crescents and his adorable dimples showed up as he sweetly smiled. You’ve been crushing on Jaehyun ever since he moved into your class as a transfer student. But you’ve never really had a chance to talk to him, as he was always surrounded by girls because of his good looks.

Of course, who wouldn’t fall for that adorable and handsome face of his? To top it off, he was good mannered.

But you couldn’t tell him your feelings because you were scared you might embarass yourself if he rejects you.

“I-it’s okay,” you stuttered and blinked bluntly.

Mark held your arm, “Are you alright?”

You nodded, still staring at Jaehyun’s beautiful face.

“I’ll see you later, y/n.” Jaehyun waved as he left the spot.

Your eyes widened as you tried to surpress your feelings.
But as usual it didn’t work.

“OH MY GOD, MARK! H-HE SAID MY NAME! HE KNOWS ME?”
Your face turned crimson red as you jumped on the spot, pulling Mark’s uniform.

Mark laughed and patted your head in attempt to calm you down. “Chill, y/n. Of course he knows your name. He’s in our class.”

You shot Mark a glare, “Don’t kill the mood, Mark.”

“Okay okay fine. Good for you, that he knows your name. Now we should get books from our lockers and get back to class if we don’t wanna be late,” Mark pushed you from behind, heading towards your locker.

“Geez. Okay, mum.”

You poked your food, not really having the appetite to eat. You saw Jaehyun sitting at the table across yours in the cafeteria, surrounded by his friends and girls, as usual.

You sighed, knowing your crush was only one-sided and it didn’t have any hope. Mark looked at you in concern and patted your hair.

“You should eat properly, y/n. Staring at Jaehyun won’t make you full.”

You bit your lips and continued poking your food.

Mark sighed, “You should just confess to him, y/n. Staring at him and not eating won’t make him realise that you have a crush on him.”

“But, how can I ever talk to him? Look. He’s always with his friends and girls always surround him. I’m a nobody.”

Mark poked your forehead, “You never know if you never try, idiot. Eat up.”

You tried processing what Mark just said and continued staring at Jaehyun from afar. Sounds like a creep, but that was all you could do.

At that moment, he caught your eyes, and the both of you made eye contact. He smiled, revealing his cute dimples and slightly waved at you.

Your eyes widened, dumbfounded by his small action.
“M-Mark. He waved at me.”

Mark chuckled, “Then wave back.”

“Wow that helped,” you rolled your eyes, “If only it was that easy.”

“Do you wanna go get some bubble tea?” You asked Mark after the last school bell rang.

Mark rubbed his neck, “I’m afraid I can’t. I have to meet my parents for dinner outside today, so I have to leave early.”

“Oh, it’s okay. Enjoy your dinner!” You smiled as the both of you bid goodbye to each other.

You slinged your bag on your shoulders and started walking towards the schoolgate.

“Still up for bubble tea?” A voice was heard from the back.

You flinched and turned back, to see Jaehyun standing there, smiling at you.

He laughed, “Sorry if I scared you. I accidentally heard your conversation with Mark. Do you still wanna get bubble tea?”

You nodded bluntly. “I-I was planning to get it alone, b-but.”

“Can I join you, then?”

Your heart started beating fast and you felt your cheeks heating up.

“S-sure.”

The both of you made your way to a nearby bubble tea shop.
The journey was awkward, you couldn’t believe you were walking next to your crush. You couldn’t look at him because you were so embarassed, so all you did was stare at the groud while walking.

Jaehyun saw you keeping your head low and chuckled to himself.
“Are you uncomfortable walking with me?” He asked.

You held up your head to face him and immediately shook your head. “N-no! That’s not it,” you paused and was surprised seeing him smiling at you.

*WHY. AM. I. LIKE. THIS. CALM. DOWN. HEART.*

“I-I’m just… shy? I guess.” You looked away and cupped your red cheeks.

Jaehyun smiled to himself at your response, “I see.”

The both of you arrived at the bubble tea shop and took your orders.

You decided to take a seat while waiting for the drinks to come. Jaehyun automatically took the seat across you. You blinked awkwardly.

*Should I tell him about my feelings? But it’s too soon. We just started talking.*

Different thoughts were going around your head. You looked at Jaehyun instinctly.

*But I can’t wait any longer.*

He was staring outside the window. His side view was attractive, his dimples show up everytime he smiles, his hair looks cute although a bit messy. Just staring at him makes you happy. You were head over heels for him.

*So how do I start? Jaehyun, I have something to tell you? No no. Uhm. Jaehyun, there’s something I’ve always wanted to tell you.* You were thinking of the perfect sentence to tell him.

“What is it?” Jaehyun asked, as the drinks were served. He thanked the waiter and handed you your drink.

“What?” You blinked.

“I guess you accidentally spoke out your thoughts? You’ve been repeating that you have something to say to me for quiet a few times now,” he chuckled.

Your eyes widened as you facepalmed yourself.

*STUPID.*

Jaehyun chuckled at your actions and continued, “So what is it?”

*As Mark said, I’ll never know if I don’t try. Here we go.*

You cleared your throat.

“The thing is. Uhm.. how do I say this.”

“Just say it, I won’t judge you or anything.”

You bit your lips, “The thing is… I-I like you.”

You covered your face and continued, “I’ve had a crush on you ever since you transferred into my class. You looked.. cool. But I’ve never had the chance to approach you because… you seemed unapproachable for someone like me. I thought you never knew about my existence,” you took a breath, “But that day when you said my name I was surprised. And this is embarassing to say, but I did fangirl a bit.”

You felt relieved after saying that, but felt uneasy for some reason. You took a peek at him through the holes between your fingers. “That’s all. Now you can laugh at me.”

Jaehyun’s small chuckle was heard.

You sighed.

*Is it time to be rejected?*

“Don’t be embarassed. It’s cute, actually,” he said.
“To be honest, I’ve had my eyes on you ever since day one. But I didn’t approach you first because I wanted to look cool. If I talk to you so soon, then it would make me look like I’m the type who talks too much,” he laughed.

You blinked in confusion as you uncovered your face and looked at him.

“Actually, Mark told me about you. He told me about your crush on me and that I should approach you first, because the feelings are… mutual,” he continued.

*Damn it, Mark. I hate you but I love you for doing this.*

Your heart started beating fast, as if it was going to jump out of your chest.

“I couldn’t think of a good way to approach you, so I purposely bumped into you, that day,” Jaehyun finished, and you could see his cheeks turning pink.

Adorable.

“Cute,” you blurted out. Jaehyun looked at you.

You pointed to your cheeks, “Your cheeks are red,” you chuckled.

Jaehyun cupped his cheeks in embarassment. “Yours too,” he stuck his tongue out.

You imitated him and cupped your cheeks too.

Jaehyun chuckled and squished your cheeks.
“So… are you free this Saturday?”

___________________________________________

The end! It’s my first time writing scenarios and this one is featuring my baby, Jaehyun! I’ve always imagined this scenario in my head and I’m glad I’ve finally written it down. I hope you guys enjoy it and SHOW ME SOME LOVE HAHAHAHA. ♡

Originally posted by nctmark

anonymous asked:

44 with young!sirius please!!

Sirius Black x Reader
44. “Are you trying to flirt? Because you’re embarrassing yourself.”

Originally posted by nellaey

As Valentine’s Day draws closer, Sirius didn’t stop flirting with you. Well, he was always flirting with you anyway, but in the last few days there wasn’t a single hour when he stopped using one of his terrible pick up line. You were sure the 14th of February will be horrible in his company, and as the day come, you immediately saw you were right.

It was a Friday morning when you were standing in front of the wardrobe, only a big t-shirt and underwear on you when somebody knocked. Without waiting for permission, Sirius and James stepped in the dormitory.

„Those legs are too hot to be legal.” – Sirius said, his eyes wandering on you up and down.

You rolled your eyes, looking at James who shake his head with a grin on his face. „Lily is already downstairs, Prongs.”

„Okay, thanks.” – he already turned around to leave the room, but Sirius was in the same place.

„Maybe I should stay and help you.”

You walked closer, pushing him towards the door. „I think I can take my clothes on by myself, thank you.”

„I meant taking off the rest.” – he said with a smug smile as you slammed the door at him.

The rest of the day passed by you felt like you trapped inside a huge pink cotton candy, topped with strawberry syrup. Couples snogging in every corner, enchanted notes and roses at the corridors in the air, pink parchment flying accross the classrooms with cute poems on it. Even if you thought it’s disgusting, Sirius didn’t spare you and sent you filthy and awkward pick up lines all day. Some of them caused you to rolling your eyes as usual, but some of them made you feel a tingling sensation between your thighs.

By dinner, you were tired, frustrated and angry, and it doesn’t help that Sirius sat very close next to you. The others talked about the tonight’s Valentine’s Party at the Gryffindor common room.

„Will you be there Y/N, won’t you?” – Lily asked as you were too quiet at the whole dinner.

„I don’t think so. Not really in the mood.” – you said, poking your food with your fork.

Sirius turned to you, embracing your shoulders. „Well, there’ll be a party in my pants too, if you’re interested.”

The others let out tired moans and choked giggles, but you started to became seriously angry. „Are you trying to flirt? Because you’re embarassing yourself.”

„Oh, stop being so cruel, love.” – he smirked, placing a hand on your thigh.

That was way to much for today; you jumped up, shouting at him so probably the half of the Great Hall heard you. „Don’t call me love and don’t touch me again! Why can’t you understand I don’t want anything from you?”

„Look, I just…” – he started in a low voice and with an almost scared face, but you cut him off.

„I don’t care! Just do me a favour and leave me alone!” – you yelled, leaving your friends and running up to your dorm room.

A few hours passed, and you were lying on your bed, face buried on the pillow. You didn’t even try to sleep as the music was so loud, and the guilt stung your stomach stronger with every minute. Maybe you were too rough with Sirius… He was a jerk though, but you felt bad as you roared at him in front of the whole school. With a heavy sigh, you crawled out from your bed and went into the bathroom to fix your disheveled hair.

Meanwhile at the common room, Sirius sat on a couch with blank eyes, a goblet in his hand – which was unnecessary, since the whole bottle of firewhisky was in his other hand too. „I fucked up Moony. I really did. Just say it.”

Remus patted his shoulder. „You really fucked up.”

„Thanks for the support.” – he said with a same blank face, taking a sip from the bottle.

Grudgingly though, but you finally dragged yourself to the party, searching for Pads who looked more defeated than ever. You sat next to him as Remus left you alone to speak.

„You’re an ass, you know that?” – you asked while snatched the bottle out from his hand.

He stared the wall, not looking at you. „Yeah, you were quite clear earlier.”

With closed eyes, you tilted your head back. If he’ll start playing the victim now…

„I’m sorry, Y/N. I see I went too far. I won’t do it again.”

His voice was honest and so sad, you almost felt sorry for him. „You know, maybe you should just start being yourself around me and ask me out properly, instead of using those embarassing pick up lines.”

He turned his head to you quickly, his dark eyes brightened. „Wait, that could really work?”

You laughed at his honest surprise. „Well, we won’t know until you try.” – you winked, leaving him to process the information.

So, I saw Sausage Party today.

And I have to say…

You’re all a bunch of stupid pieces of shit.

“Wah, this movie has racial stereotypes! Dat’s not allowed!”

“Wah, this lesbian mexican taco is a taco, and taco means lesbian in my head! U can’t call a lesbian a taco! Dat’s not allowed!”

“Hurr durr dis cringey fedora neckbeard atheist made fun of religion, dat’s a fink to mock and laugh at. Duhuhuhuh! He doesn’t know! Dat’s not allowed!”

“This movie mocks the Jews VS Muslims war thingy and suggests they live in the same place instead of fighting, AND mocks their 72 virgin heaven! Dat’s not allowed!”

“This movie contains nazi jokes! Dat’s not allowed!”

“Dis movie has a bottle of firewater and it’s native american! U CAN’T HAVE NATIVE AMERICAN PEOPLE ACT STEREOTYPICALLY! REEEEEEEEEEEE! Also, dat’s not allowed!

"Wah, this movie contains an orgy sequence between food! I’m not emotionally prepared for sex! But food getting chopped up and murdered onscreen is a-ok, I won’t spend more than a sentence or two talking about that unless I’m wanking over how much I dislike violence. Anyway, wah! Food has sex! Dat’s not allowed!”

This movie is satire that mocks religion and how it keeps cultures separate. This movie is satire that mocks religion for what it is, a lie to keep people stupid. This movie doesn’t do things cleverly because it knows the average person isn’t intelligent to understand anything smarter than “Oh hey dat’s a reference to a comic the wiki can explain for me!”.

When Blazing Saddles came out, the scene with farting cowboys was considered shocking. People mocked them for being edgy. Bitches said “Yes, you can make whatever story you want, but I don’t like fart jokes, so it’s a bad film and you should change it! Fart jokes? Dat’s not allowed!”

Despite believing you’re a Precious Smoll Babs™ or Enlightened Egalitarian or whatever stupid label you wrote up and slapped onto your forehead, you are not progressive or norm critical or intelligent, you are on the moral level of scared old women crying because a scene with farting cowboys triggered them. You don’t realize how pathetic you look, and that just makes you look worse. And no, posting “Lol im trash im a potato” doesn’t count, you idiot.

Have you ever heard the old saying, “When a wise man points, a fool looks at the finger”? That’s you. You’re the fool, staring intently at the finger and crying about how unclean it is.

Seth Rogen managed to take a premise that sounded retarded, and he made it into a film about how we should throw religion into the trash where it belongs, love one another, fight back against the “Gods”. Instead of the ham-handed anti-religion stuff you’d expect from the genre, he showed the effects of religion, how even the most clear messages of peace are distorted into “Our race is better than yours, our religion said so” by religion’s infectious stupidity, how the divide between those that find new evidence that disproves their beliefs and recoil like bitches and dig their heels in like mules and those that want to know more can tear relationships apart… Hell, it even threw in a nice little “Simply disproving your beliefs with evidence you don’t want to accept is TOTALLY the mean option, you have to sugarcoat harsh truths so they can be swallowed by even mental toddlers” bonus for you, whether you noticed in your triggered little pseudo-panic attack bitch-seizure or not.

Also, check out the ending. Everyone lives in peace and harmony and sex, throwing away racism and homophobia. You’d think SJWs would love an ending like that, but you’d only think that if you somehow hadn’t yet noticed that SJWs only say they want X or Y, what they actually want is power, validation, something to blame their failings on, and the rush of feeling offended. If that sounds crazy to you, congrats. Now look up the facts BEFORE responding, so you don’t embarass yourself.

To everyone that once filled this site with whiny, impotent, virtue-signalling and utterly pathetic bitching: Congratulations on being too fucking stupid to properly understand a SETH ROGEN STONER COMEDY ABOUT TALKING FUCKING FOOD.

>Inb4 some dumb fuck, in their desperate desire to avoid digesting what I wrote, laughs it off with something along the lines of “Hurr durr this pony ask blog is serving up truth lol what even is 2016”.
>Inb4 some incurably-divorced-from-reality SJW goes “But da movie has racial stereotypes in it! Dat’s not allowed!”.

Control

Are you nervous, baby boy?


word count: 662
genre: smut(ish)
writer: Sofia

_____________________________________________________________

— See, I’m the master of self control. There’s literally nothing you can do to make me lose control.
—  Is that so? - she jumped on his back, wrapping her arms around him and putting her legs around his waist.
— Are you a koala now? - he provoked. She just messed his hair. He didn’t even flinch.
She climbed down and stopped in front of him, slowly closing the space between them. His face just a few centimeters away. She could feel his calm breath, and it made her even more mad. She then proceed to pinch his forehead a few times, which had no effect on him.

— Ok, let’s play a game - Y/N suggested with a smile. He quirked his eyebrows. — It’s called “are you nervous?”. Basically I’m going to annoy the fuck out of you and keep asking if you’re nervous until you say yes.
— That’s stupid. - that didn’t stop him from smiling.
— Oh, are you nervous? - she smiled.
— No. - blank face. She got closer and put a hand on his waist.
— Are you nervous?
— No.

She pushed his shirt up a bit and put her hand close to the band of his jeans.
— Are you nervous?
— No, Y/N.
She decided to appeal. She took a step back and took off her shirt, showing off her pastel pink laced bra. His eyes ran over her, and she almost regretted doing it, seeing how he was devouring her with his gaze.
— Are you nervous?
— No, I’m not nervous. It’s just a piece of fabric. - he crossed his arms.
— What if I take off this piece of fabric? - she threatened to take it off by putting her hands behind her back, but Pietro took a rushed step, closing the small gap between their bodies. — Oh, would that make you nervous?
— No, I just don’t want you to embarass yourself even more.
— You’re a prick, you know that, right?
— Is the miss nervous? - he grinned.
— Yah! I’m the one asking the questions here!
— Ah… so you are nervous. What can I do? I’m just awesome. Pietro Maximoff genius, simple and plain like th- his bluff was called out when Y/N pushed him on the couch.
— Are you nervous, baby boy?
— N-no
She climbed on the couch, straddling him.
— Hm, are you nervous?
— Y/N…
— Are. you. nervous? - she said while trailing her fingers down his neck.
— No…

And then she sat on his lap violently, making Pietro groan and close his eyes. She laughed, while Pietro looked away, refusing to lose the game.
— You’re definetely nervous, aren’t you?
— No, I’m.. - she grabbed his face, making him look at her in the eyes. That’s when she felt it. Pietro noticed and decided to torture her by moving his hips slowly, making his bulge align with her core. A soft moan escaped Y/N’s lips, and Pietro smirked.
— Are you nervous, Y/N?
— No, but you’ll be - she said while kneeling in front of him, putting her hands on the ziper of his jeans.

They heard familiar voices as the door was unlocked. Y/N quickly got up, putting her shirt back and walking away. Instead of helping her, Pietro quickly (literally) got up, pretending everything was fine and he didn’t have a huge boner.
— Hey, you’re both here! - Steve greeted them.
— No! - she turned around, shouting. —  There’s no one here! - there was an awkward silence as she walked fast to her room.
— What was that? - Wanda asked Pietro. — What did you do to make her that nervous?
— Don’t you say that word ever again! - Pietro ran to the bathroom, completely confused and horny. “She’s going to be the death of me…” he thought while turning on the shower.

Chris Evans x Reader

Summary : The reader is a young graphic design major, who got an internship at Marvel Studios as a 3d coordinator. It’s her first day on a real set and she catches the eye of Chris Evans himself.


Prompt given by myself truly, because I love Chris, and I need motivaion to ge me through my design projects.


———


You couldn’t believe it, you were finally here. On set, working on a Marvel film. No, you weren’t an actress, you didn’t think yourself pretty enough or tall enough to be one ; no, you were a 3D graphic  designer and you had gotten a six months internship working with the 3D coordinators team at Marvel. You were 3 months down, having already worked with the team on the last shots of the new Spiderman film. Now, they had given you the chance to actually come on set and see where the magic starts. You couldn’t help but grin as you watch the set being built. Well, it was mostly large green cartoon walls being put together but still, you had seen some drafts of what it was going to look like, and damn, it’s going to look good.


“Hey Y/N ! Could you get me one of the 3D prints we got for today’s scenes ?” Seth , one of the coordinators, asked you as you two were setting the last computers. “I think we need to go over the set one last time.”


“I’ll get them !” You answered as you finished plugging a cable into your laptop. Readjusting your glasses, you left the corner and turned around, heading for the prints. There was so much people on set today, after all it was the first week and all the actors were starting to come up for their scenes.


You quickly found the prints and walked back to the set. Well. Easier than done. You were on your way, urning around when you bumped into someone. You fell over, right on the butt, all the papers in your hands now floating on top of you.


“Fuck” you mumble under your breath, your bum aching from the fall. You started picking up the papers on the ground.


“Shit, Sorry, that’s my bad” You looked up as Chris freaking Evans started helping you. He bent down, and started gathering all your papers, you froze for a second, because what the hell ?! It’s your first day on set and you already manage to make a  fool out of you. In front of Chris freaking Evans !


“it’s okay, you don’t have to..” You start to speak as he hands you the papers he’s gathered. You take them and you two get up from the floor.


“It’s the least I could do. Sorry about that, runiing into you and all.” He says and you nod at him. He’s looking down at you, really looking at you, up and down. And you almost want to pinch yourself ; is he actually checking you out ?


“You’re new. I have never seen you around.” Chris says, and god, you have to look up, because he’s so damn tall.


“No, I hum,  well I mean yes, I’m new and no you haven’t seen me around.” You ramble and really you need to go away before you embarass yourself more.


“You’re a part of the set designer team I guess by the prints ?” He makes a nod towards the paper in your hand.


“3D coordinators.” You precise. “Just here to make sure you look good.” The moment the words escape your mouth you wish you just shut up. You mentally did slap yourself this time. But Chris laughed – okay, what ? - and then smiled at you.


“Well, I’m sure I am in my good hands.”


His eyes didn’t leave  you and you started feeling so uncomfortable and you felt sweat dripping on the back of your neck. You awkwardly chuckled before squeezing the papers, before mumbling that you had to go back to set right now.


“Great, then I’ll see you around !”


You awkwardly smiled at him before running , literally running away from him. You quickly got back to the team, and gave them the prints. You quickly got your head into work and soon enough, the cast were starting to appear. As a coordinator, you had to make sure the captors were placed in the right spots on their body. You were assigned Mark, Scarlett and Chris. Chris Evans. You were putting the captors on Mark’s body, watching Chris out of the corner of your eye, while also listening to Mark.


“Do you have a boyfriend, Y/N ?” Mark suddenly asked you.


“What ?” You head snapped up, as Mark chuckled at your reaction.


“Just wondering.” He shrugged, you regained your focus as you finished placing the captors on your leg.


“Hu hu.” You said, going back to one of the laptops. You took, balancing it on your arm. “Okay, let’s see. Can you move ?”


Mark did as told and the movments were perfectly captured on your screen. “Perfect ! You’re good to go !” You told him, smiling.


“Thanks darling !” He told you, sending you a kiss in the air. What a charmer, you thought. You looked back at your screen, making sure that everything was okay with Mark’s zone, when someone taped on your shoulder. You jumped, almost knocking your laptop over ; Strong hands grabbed the laptop though and made sure it didn’t hit the ground. You met Chris’s blue eyes and he smiled at you.


“You gotta work on your clumsiness.” He chuckled.


“Yeh, I suppose I do.” You said, looking back at your screen, resseting your glasses higher on your nose bridge. “So, it’s your turn now ?”


“Yup. I’m all yours babe.” He said as he stood tall in front of you. You smirked, raising an eyebrow. You typed in some coding lines, and quickly reset a new bunch of captors. You put down your laptop and grabbed them before turning to Chris. You started with his legs.


“Wow, you really are small.” He said, as you were kneeling, attaching captors behind his calves.


“That’s not a fair observation.” You answered.


“How come ?”


“Well, you’re above 6ft tall, and I’m kneeling.”


“You went down on your own.” You raised your head at that comment and you saw Chris smirking at you. You bit your lip, stopping yourself from flirting back with him, and continued with attaching captors to his body. You made your way back up, you had to go on your tiptoes to reach his chest. You saw Chris smirking, and it amused you but you weren’t showing it.  


“Stop it.” You whispered.


“But you’re so tiny.”


You shoved him in the chest, he didn’t even flinch at the move. You placed the last captors on his arms before going over to your laptop again. Chris started to walk behind you but you stopped him.


“No, you stay right there.”


“Oooh, bossy.”


You shook your head at his cheekiness before checking that every captors were right.


“Okay, move for me now.”


“Yes ma'am.”


He started to dance randomly and you chuckled slightly before frowning. The captors on this left arm weren’t reacting.


“Okay, just a minute.” You said. You started writing codes lines to see if the captors reacted.


“Is that code ?” You hadn’t noticed Chris getting close to you. You hummed, not really caring about his presence right now. You finished typing the codes, before looking up at him. What you didn’t expect was him being very close to you, and that took you quite off guard as you looked down at your screen immediately. But Chris didn’t let it go. He slid his finger under your chin, making you turn your head towards him again.


“Am I making you uncomfortable ?”


You didn’t know what to say, he didn’t make you uncomfortable, but he’s Chris Evans and you’re .. you.


“You’re very .. Intimidating.”


“Sorry. Didn’t mean to.”


You two stared into eachother’s eyes for a moment before you head Chris’ name being called. You tore your gazy away from him, and cleared your throat.


“You should be good to go.” You said , saving the coding so it’d refresh the captor’s actions. “ Can you move your left arm ?”


Chris stood in front of you and obeyed. His left arm’s movment was indeed captured this time and you smiled proudly. You looked at up at Chris, and he was smiling too. You suddenly felt a bit shy, with him watching you.


“You should go, they’re waiting for you.”


Chris didn’t leave right away, no, he kept looking at you, a light smirk at the corner of his lips.


“See you around, little one.”


You didn’t answer as you just watched him jog over Mark and Scarlett and Jeremy. Your heart was pounding in your chest, as you couldn’t believe what had happened over the last couple of hours. What a first day! 

MAGNET

The sheith fanmix you want but are too embarassed to make yourself (Featuring a lot of tracks no longer considered cool)

Tracklist: 01.Evertime we touch Cascada / 02.Love You Like A Love Song Selena Gomez / 03.Only GirlKeith(In The World) Rihanna / 04.Die Young Ke$ha  / 05.Final Song MØ / 06.Make me Fade Vanic x F.Klay / 07.Into you Ariana Grande / 08.Tongue Twister Cash Cash / 09.Your body Christina Aguilera / 10.High Vanic x Zella Day / 11.The Great Escape Girls Generation / 12.Heaven Dj Sammy / 13.Hit the lights Selena Gomez 

listen i do understand that there is some sort of a parallel to be drawn between Vader and Kylo Ren BUT please acknowledge that while Anakin is you early emo Sensitive Musician who wears striped tshirts and flannel shirts and deals with his Inner Pain by writing angsty music, Ben is that 2009 seventh grader who loves MCR, paints his nails with a sharpie and thinks Green Day are underground

what im trying to say is, know your emos, don’t confuse them, dont embarass yourself in the process