embalming table

You know, the hardest part about mortuary science isn’t the dealing with the bodies or the harsh realities of death, that part is actually very sobering at times. But it’s just hard not to make fucked up, morbid jokes with the general public.

I see the polarity on my Facebook between the positive people and negative. It’s like a tug of war to see who can uplift or bring down. I’d like to say I’m happy for both sides cause they’ll make their way to the embalming table or crematorium either way and that death is equal opportunity. Funny to me and to my classmate, whom I gotta say is a woman of a totally different caliber. I’m glad there’s someone else in my class, that isn’t a religious nut bag about death. But digress, that’s a different topic for a different day.

Really though. People die in the dumbest ways sometimes and it’s hard to just keep our mouths shut from the obvious observations.

People, don’t give me reason to laugh over your corpse in disbelief, alright.

Also don’t drink bleach. It doesn’t cleanse your system, although that’s the common joke. It’s messy, it smells, and looks horrifyingly painful. Reach out for help if your mental anguish is to much to handle yourself.

TRUE BLOOD - a calum fic

here’s a preview. My advice? listen to this mix when you do.

She was craving him again. She craved the way his skin felt on hers and how perfectly they fit when their bodies were intertwined. She missed the way his eyes bore into hers with such lust and excitement and even fear, as if he hadn’t tasted her just yet. The way her pulse seemed to beat faster and faster the further he got. He made her undead heart feel alive, something she desperately wanted since she had gotten turned.

Calum knew their relationship was forbidden the moment he met her. He was the hunter and she was the hunted; A walking corpse who feeds on the blood of the living. He would probably lose his job as a mortician (his day job, of course) if he was ever caught doing away with the vampires who revive themselves in his care (thank goodness for the stakes he hid under the embalming table)

It didn’t help that whatever they had started when she was human, her eyes sparkled as she settled down in her new surroundings, taking in the cemetery next door to the cute guy who lived above her and who kept to himself more than someone his age should. She had introduced herself and he had taken off his glasses and rubbed them on his shirt, showing her a glimpse of his happy trail. “This is a joke right?” He’d asked her. This stranger looked exactly like the queen of the undead, someone almost impossible to kill; a mere legend that was passed down through the hunters, a trophy everyone wanted. She was stunned at his response and shook her head, telling him no. “Well Y/N, nice meeting you, back to my business I go” he responded curtly. Things in this town just got much worse.