As I was thinking about how the root of Edward’s “hate” for Hohenheim is really just the fear of being unwanted (something Ed clearly struggles with, as demonstrated by his belief that Al hates him because of the accident), something occurred to me.
I think part of the reason that Ed is so rattled/upset by Hohenheim’s backstory is because it only adds evidence to his belief that Hohenheim left the family because he didn’t want them anymore. Because if Hohenheim is 450-ish years old, maybe he’s played house before, maybe he’s gone through the motions of family with other people. If so, then the family with Trisha would just be a repeat. Boring. So of course Hohenheim would have left.
And just, nng, it hurts my heart. Darius and Heinkel are being all “give your old man a chance” and Ed’s being so stubborn about it, but that’s all he knows to do. After all, closing himself off and setting up barbed-wire fences of hate is so much easier to do than letting himself be vulnerable and risk abandonment again.
I also think this is why hearing Hohenheim genuinely express how sorry he is and how he wishes he could have been there for his family is what finally makes Ed cry after so long. This lie of being unwanted has been in the poor kid since he was five years old, so no wonder finally letting go of that brings Ed to tears. That’s some serious catharsis going on.
sum: i didn’t take you for a gardening kind of girl. [edwin] a/n: i love ed & winry so much, and yet they make up like .2% of my fic #rip.
One year goes by more slowly than Winry wants it to.
The familiar walk down the stairsteps is lonely without Ed and Al there to thunder past her, eager to snatch a bite of the cakes Granny makes for breakfast. The table is two people too few, and she runs her fingers along the backs of the chairs sometimes, wondering where their muscles used to fall on the carved wood. Ed no longer runs back to her every five weeks, arm and leg damaged beyond repair. Now, he returns once in maybe three months, and Al not at all, him being in Xing all those miles and miles away, with only letters wrapped in frail ribbon there to give her comfort.