eloise talks


okay so one of my roommates is called nick right. also his girlfriend who is like an unofficial 5th member of our flat. actually not bad people, theyre pretty nice, but constantly frustrate me by being in the kitchen ALL THE TIME and making me feel like i’m third wheeling, and also for using my plates and bowls and cutlery and shit all the time after i allowed them to do it ONCE because i assumed they would, yknow, go out and buy their own stuff afterwards

(they have not bought their own stuff. im sorry but if youre using my grater every other night just go out and BUY YOUR OWN GRATER)

WELL i went into the kitchen today and saw one of two glasses i own smashed on the countertop. like just there. not cleaned up. no note. just broken. and like i have no proof but the only person other than me that has ever used that glass is nick and they were in the kitchen a little while ago so im 100% certain it was him or his girlfriend

and honestly. this is the final straw for me. so im finally living my petty dreams and moving all of my kitchenware into my room so they cant get it. im not gonna say anything im just gonna keep everything in my room and see if they say anything. they seem to own 0 actual cooking equipment themselves so they’ll probably struggle

this is actually extremely inconvenient for me personally but i am so pissed and petty that im doing it. fuck you nick

never-mind-the-sex-pistols  asked:

Sherlolly, "I knew it was a mistake to get the twins matching clothes."

For this meme. This is more of a drabble than a full-fledged fic.

Molly had never seen her husband look so frightened. Facing off against psychopaths, he was cool and calm. Faced with the prospect of looking after two identical toddlers for two hours, however, he was as terrified as any other father did when faced with the prospect of childcare.

“I’ll only be gone for about two hours,” she said, hitching her bag onto her shoulder. “But I’ll be back in time for supper, okay?”

Sherlock gave a small nod, his gaze fixed on the two little girls who were innocently sat in the centre of the living room, happily playing and giggling with one another. Molly gave a laugh and dropped a kiss on his cheek.

“You’ll be fine. And remember: I’m just a text away.”

Her husband broke out of his trance just quickly enough to pull her back and catch her in a rather breathtakingly affectionate kiss before she pulled away, laughing a little as she departed from the flat, closing the door behind her. Swallowing a little, Sherlock looked to his daughters. The way they stared back at him was in a manner that was inquisitive, eager and more than terrifying.

“Right,” Sherlock said softly to himself. “Two hours.”

That was practically nothing. He could cope with that, easily.

“Sienna, that’s not–”

“I’m not Sienna!”

“Eloise – ow, what are you doing – ow!”

“Not Eloise! I’m Sienna! And I’m climbing. You’re my ladder, Daddy.”

“Climbing – Eloise, careful!”

“I’m Sienna!”

“I was talking to Eloise—”

The first thing Molly did, on stepping through the door to 221b two hours later, was to laugh. For that moment, she didn’t care about the crayon drawings on the wall, nor did she care about the jam stains on the sofa.

On seeing Sherlock stood in the centre of the floor, one daughter climbing up and onto his back with little to no care for his facial features whilst the other merrily hummed as she skipped around the living room of 221b, the tell-tale stains of strawberry jam around her mouth and crayons in her hands. Sherlock raised an eyebrow at Molly briefly before he looked upwards at his other daughter, who happily continued to clamber up her father’s back and onto his shoulders, gripping at his curls with one hand as she reached up with the other to touch the ceiling.

Sherlock gave a sigh as he looked again to Molly.

“We never should have given the twins matching clothes, Molly.” He reached and with both hands, plucked a laughing Sienna from his shoulders. “Whose idea was it again?”

Molly leant against the doorknob, smiling.

“It was yours.”

“Of course it was.”

new diet trend: have flatmates who you cant deal with being in the same room as constantly occupy the kitchen so that you feel too uncomfortable to actually cook food and just limit your diet to grapes and other things you can take to the comfort of your own room with no prep time