elmers

anonymous asked:

Elmer why dont u get along with seymour or the boar boy?

Rude And Mean Porcine Boys,

They Meddle With Runes Like Treats And Toys

But Monkey, *Scump*, He Is The One

Who Knows These Runes Are Not For Fun

“Endless Growth” Fool Seymour Says

Moments Before He Is Ripp’t To Shreds

“Technocracy” The Boar Asserts

One Second Later He Is Naught But Dirt.

So What, You Ask, So Dignifies

This Ape Of Boys, Of Poise, Of Wise?

Unlike The Others, Elmer Knows

That Cancer, Not This World, Grows

If To The Ape You Ask, “What Is Your Writ?”

Sage Ape Will Say “Interdependence And Limit”

For There Is No Invisible Hand

But Only The Fruits Of These Lands

Steady Diet of Nothing

Buncho markers I found while clearing out my jacket pockets.

YILEBRAND BI-NIB – Chinatown Dollar Store find. I’m pretty sure. Artline bootleg. Printed plastic label cover wrap. Inferior grade plastic body construction. You haven’t sampled inferior grade plastic till you been to China. I know disposable plastic drinking cups are supposed to be flimsy and cheap, but the ones they have out there are thin and move around in your hand like it was made out of condom. And in true bootleg marker fashion, this one was DOA when I tried to test it. Dried out and died out.

ELMERS PAINTERS COLOR CUTTER – Wow. This is the second marker-and-knife combination that I have in my collection. Who knew there was that niche market. I think it’s the emo and self-harming movement. Painters is a familiar brand from Michaels Craft Supply raiding days. Chisel tip. This is a bad product. The blade on this one has already slipped down the nib crack so it doesn’t even cut. I’m not going to pull it up with tweezers. So now it’s just a normal marker. Stick to making glue Elmer…yeah you just got punned Elmer. Deal.

FUGAZ 2 – From the corner Hasty Market. This marker is dope for a bunch of reasons. Firstly, it’s called Fugaz 2. I must have slept on the first one. Second, it’s made by a company called Wearever. That’s so underacheiver and proud of it man. Third, it’s the first marker in my collection that is HECHO EN MEXICO. I knew I should have gone to Mexico earlier this summer when I had the chance.

MAINSTAYS – Dollar store or Walmart whiteboard yawner. Good construction, nice chisel tip, works well.

HENGLI SUPER SHIRE – And just when I think I have amassed all the Chinatown Dollar Store Sharpie bootleg variations, I come across this one. Although vastly inferior than an actual Super Sharpie. These markers do play significant use in alot of my illustration work. The ink is of a lighter tone, and the nibs are already softer as soon as you use them, which results in spongy wash lines as soon as I use it. The ink fades out faster, and when I get this marker working right, it works like a soft powder brush to give good shading effects without smudging.

gunsafebiometric.net
X-Acto Quiet Pencil Sharpener

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ROMEO...

…Y Julieta. Yeah, here’s the rest of the markers that are inside the cigar box waiting to be documented and drawn. All but the Snowman came from my friend DIET.

PERMANENT MARKER –Pretty minimal labeling. No branding. Just “Made in China” and “Permanent Marker” and a picture of a bullet tip on the side, even though it’s really a chisel tip.

GIANT MARKERS – I am a fan. Makes a nice POP ! sound when you take off the cap. Huge conical nib, that makes line thickness smaller than a normal Sharpie. Pictured on the marker are – Apples. Hearts. Stars. Palm Trees. Butterflies. Lips. Fish. And maybe a birthday cake with a candle.

QUALITY – Another no name brand marker. Layout and design looks similar to some other ones in my collection, but those are knockoffs as well. I wonder which marker it’s design is based on. Smells kinda nice. Not overpowering, just a hint of that dizzy inducing stuffs.

BAZIC DOUBLE TIP - The design is based on the Sharpie Twin – Tip, Bullet point on one end, chisel tip on the other. It’s a pretty good marker. Nice thick ink.

ELMERS PAINTERS – Medium bullet point paint marker. Nothing too crazy.

SNOWMAN – Dunno if this is actually made by the same company that makes the BIG Snowman. Though I suspect it is. The SNOWMAN font isn’t the same, but the French copy on the side is verbatim. I really like the BIG version, so when I saw this one, I was pretty excited. It’s one of my favorites in my collection.

BLACK EGGS – Is a skateboard wheel made by the good people @ Solitary Arts.


anonymous asked:

i am a very very gay girl and i want to find the Girlfriend. elmer do you have any advice on how I can get a lady.. if not thats ok. thank you elmer and bless your beautiful ape soul <3

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