ellen-degene

OUR TOP TEN FRESHEST MULLETS OF ALL TIME

Because a definitive mullet ranking was something the world needed, obviously.

(created in collaboration with @supremepsychogoddess )

1. Billy Ray Cyrus

The curator of the mullet. There will never be another. This mullet is first in our achy breaky hearts.

2. Alexander Hamilton

Founding mullet father Alexander Hamilton knew the meaning of “business in the front, party in the back” long before its time.

3. Blake Shelton

Before he was crooning country ballads and judging up-and-coming singers on the Voice, he was up-and-coming in the mullet world.

4. Keith Kogane (Voltron: Defender of the Universe)

We know Legendary Defender Keith has a mullet of his own (as Lance reminds us nearly every episode), but the true mullet icon was his 80s predecessor.

5. The White Guy in Your English Comp Class

We don’t know him. But we can guarantee that mullet is solid. Even if there’s a MAGA hat on top of it.

6. Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once encountered a wild mullet, and he scared it into sticking to his head. Or something like that. We’ve heard a couple stories going around.

7. David Bowie

We weren’t so sure about putting Bowie on this list, because he’s a celestial being that transcends space and time, but we’ve gotta admit if anyone could make a mullet look classy, it was Bowie.

8. Ben Franklin

Another iconic mullet in history, but not quite up to A-Ham’s level. Regardless, it’s a valiant effort.

9. Ellen DeGeneres

A female mullet pioneer. We salute you, Ellen, for your time of bravery.

10. Mario Lopez

Mario Lopez was his cutest in his mullet era. Don’t try to argue.

Sia really really really doesn't want to be famous

BY MALCOLM MUSONI

Today Australian imported pop star sorta gave one of the best performance’s the Ellen show has ever seen. It was more of a live interpretation of the music video than an actual performance. 11 year old Maddie Ziegler from Dance Moms did some wild interpretative modern style dancing in a blonde wig while Sia sang “Chandelier” standing in the back corner with her back to the camera the entire time. Not once even after she finished singing did she turn her back. Ellen explained before the “performance” that when Sia chooses to perform she doesn’t like to face the camera which is strange considering the fact that the music industry is 75% looks and 25% talent but there’s levels to this shit.

Sia has been writing for singers for the past few years and even decided to try to get her voice back in the music world after quitting in 2012 after the demands of fame became too much. She was featured on David Guetta’s “Titanium and Flo Rida’s “Wild Ones” but was missing from the video. This year she was interviewed for Billboard magazine and instead of showing her face she chose to wear a paperbag over her head.


in the magazine she wrote her own “anti-fame manifesto" and explained her anonymity: 

Imagine the stereotypical highly opinionated, completely uninformed mother-in-law character and apply it to every teenager with a computer in the entire world. Then add in all bored people, as well as people whose job it is to report on celebrities. Then, picture that creature, that force, criticizing you for an hour straight once a day, every day, day after day. That’s what it’s like, even the smallest bit of it. Of course, that’s if you even allow yourself to stay in touch with the world using public media. If I were famous, I wouldn’t. If I were famous, I might want to see what is happening on the news channel, or on CNN.com. But I couldn’t. Because I would know that I might run into that mother-in-law there, sharp-tongued and lying in wait for my self-esteem. And she’s not just making cracks about dying before I give her some grandkids, she’s asking me if I’m barren. She’s asking me whether I’m “so unattractive under those clothes that her son/daughter doesn’t want to fuck me anymore,” or if I’m “so dumb I don’t know what a dick is and how to use it." She questions everything there is to question. Even things I had never thought to question. Things I had never dreamed of feeling insecure about prior to meeting her.

If you suffer from low comprehension skills basically she doesn’t want to be famous because all of us and our self righteousness feel entitled to judge and ridicule famous people because we see a face and think we know them and don’t care that it’s an actual person like the rest of us. Too much pressure. Fuck us. Sia even had it written into her contract that she doesn’t have to promote the record or tour if she doesn’t want to. [smart] It’s just all about the music.

All we need to know is a short blonde bob belongs to that raspy voice. Fuck the rest.


He constantly reminds himself he had enough dignity and self respond to not make a harlem shake video. You can follow Malcolm on twitter - @fijiwatergod

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Olivia Olson, voice of Marceline the Vampire Queen, on the Ellen Degeneres Show, performing “Nerd Like Me.”

According to the comments, she was fourteen when this was recorded.

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Lauren O'Brien

My impression of what 14 different celebrities do when they’re stuck in traffic. From the Instagram “series” I started doing at @thelaurenobrien.. Featuring Ellen DeGeneres, Sofia Vergara, Miley Cyrus, Kim Kardashian, Taylor Swift & more.

“And this is where Jim Carrey took a dump.” He said on the tour bus. It was midway through, before he noticed Kevin. He smiled. “Hey Jesus Freak.” He waved over at the male. “Are you enjoying yourself?” HE asked. He went over and sat on his lap. “Ok, ladies and gentleman. We are going on a detour to Ellen Degens studio. Who wants a tour?”

@elder-kevin-mckinley