I can’t believe it! I got the scholarship in the famous dance
school in New York! I’ve been hoping to get it since it’s pretty expensive, for
a girl coming from a small town, who had to fight against those thousands of
applicants, there were pretty limited slots.
kind of nervous since it meant leaving New Orleans, and living in a new
environment all by myself I just hope that I make good friends, or maybe meet
someone there. (blushing..) Cut
it out Ellen, focus!
in NY airport…
It was evening when I arrived at the gate. I saw someone holding
a board with my name on it; She must be the one who will bring me to the
school. I approached her.
Fetcher: Ms. Ellen Degeneres? From New Orleans?
Me: Yup! for the dance school.
Fetcher: Hello Ms. Degeneres. I’m Sean and I’ll be your driver,
I’ll bring you to campus dormitory. Let me help you with your luggage, shall
let’s proceed to the car?
As we walk, we head to a car that I didn’t expect it to be what
I think it is. It’s a freaking Lexus! I just paused for a moment from what I
see right in front of me. Then I thought ‘No wonder the school is expensive.’
As we drove along the Brooklyn Bridge, I get to see the
city lights approaching like little Christmas lights through the windshield. It
looks so beautiful from this view. I took my camera and I started taking
pictures of the skyline.
“First time in the NYC ma’m?” he pleasantly asked.
“Yeah, I can’t wait to tour and dance the streets of New York!
So far it’s overwhelming though, first the fancy car, then this bright and
beautiful skyline from the Brooklyn bridge No wonder this city never sleeps! I
said like a kid excited to go to Disneyland, which made me freeze because of
embarrassment. The driver just chuckled and said, “There’s no need to be
embarrassed. It really is beautiful.”
“Yes it is. Though it makes me miss home already” I said as I
look through the window.
“NYC can be a cold and busy city as some people say, but
call me crazy but beautiful things like love and happiness can be found just
around the corner.” Sean said.
“I wouldn’t worry about that, I’m already in love. I’m in love
with dancing.” I just did a move with my shoulders and arms, which the he just
chuckled and sighed.
A few minutes later we’ve finally arrived in front of the
dormitory. Sean opened the door for me, and brought my luggage out of the
trunk. “Here’s your luggage ma’am. Welcome to the university and welcome to
NYC. I hope you do well here” Sean pleasantly said.
“Gee thanks Sean!”
As he left, I took my luggage and entered the dorm. I walk
towards a desk where someone welcomed me, asked my name and my course.
“Good evening Ms. Degeneres, here is a brochure, in it is a map
and a list of the rules of the dormitory. Here is a key to your room”
After that she gave me a key to my room. She said, “a reminder,
there’s no spare key for the room at the moment, so please be careful with
yours. Your roommate though has one.”
“Oh my roommate is already in there?”
“I believe so.”
“All right. Thank you ma’am!” I said amiably.
I’m sort of excited, but at the same time nervous to meet my
roommate. I want to ask the lady about my roommate’s name, but on the second
thought, it would be better to ask her myself. This makes me excited and
nervous even more.
I looked at my key, 305.
As I heard the ding of the elevator, I picked my luggage, and I
went straight to it. As I got in the elevator, my heart is beating so fast, not
because of what I just did, but because of the mixed emotions that I’m having.
(I don’t know, maybe because she’ll be my roommate for the entire college
life!) Man I hope I make a good first impression.
As I open the door, the first thing I notice, is the silence of
the room and then second is that the room is the mess!
like a clean room, I easily get annoyed by a scattered clothing or trash on the
floor, but somehow it made me realize that I should make considerations since
now that I’m no longer at home.
It got me more curious as to who’s my roommate. Is she the sloppy
I checked the room and the bathroom; no sign of her. I guess
I’ll just move her stuff on the floor to her side, so I could place place my
luggage. Picked a pair of ballet shoes on the floor; I guess she’s a ballet
As I finished unpacking, my stomach starts to grumble. I decided
to go down to the cafeteria, I got myself some orange juice and some snacks.
After finishing my meal, I grabbed some chips in case I get hungry again. I
felt kind of drowsy ever since I got to the dorm.
As I’ve arrived in front of my door, I checked my pocket…I left
the key inside the room! I forgot to bring out the damned key! How clumsy I am!
What am I supposed to do?!
Man! there’s no choice but to wait for my roommate to arrive.
Finally the class is over, and thank gawd it’s a Friday!
I can finally get back to my dorm.
I wish my roommate has already arrived; it’s been a lonely week
for me ever since I left home. I haven’t made a friend, though I made
acquaintances with other dancers.
Why does my course have to start a week early than all the other
I’m Portia de Rossi, I’m from
Melbourne, Australia. I got a scholarship in Ballet in this university. Ever
since I was a kid I’ve been doing ballet in our town. I love doing it, and I
want to continue doing it. I just love to dance because that’s how I express
myself. Almost my entire life I dedicated to this. That’s why my social life is
not that interesting; I never had a boyfriend, no one has caught my attention
that would make my knees weak, unlike my friends did. I’m happy at what I do,
but right now I miss my family and friends back home though.
As I reached my floor I noticed a blond girl sitting down in
front of my room. As I got closer I noticed that the girl is asleep. I poked her
in the shoulder lightly, which apparently woke her up with a surprised look on
her face. “Gahh!” She said. Her bright blue eyes, and mouth widen. Her shout
was so cute and funny that I tried to bite my lips not to laugh. Her reaction
makes her look adorable.
“I’m sorry that I surprised you, I’m a light sleeper and I get
easily surprised when someone wakes me up unexpectedly” she said.
“No it’s okay, are you all right? I’m sorry that I woke you up.
Why are you in front of my room?” I asked curiously
“This is your room?”
“Ah well my name is Ellen. I’m your roommate! It’s nice to meet
you.” she said with a warm smile.
“Really? That’s great! My name is Portia, it’s very nice to meet
Somethings wrong, I can’t stop smiling. My stomach feels funny.
Is it because I’m nervous? I’ve never been like this nervous before… Maybe I’m
just exhausted or something…
“You seem to be glad to see me” Ellen said.
“Ah well… it’s been pretty lonely here these couple of weeks.”
(Good save there de Rossi)
“Well I’m here now, I hope we get to be good roommates” She
showed her hand at me
(C’mon Portia, shake her hand! Relax! What’s wrong with you!)
“I hope so too.” I say as I shook her hand
When I held her hand, my body just jolted from it. Did she felt
There was an awkward silence for a moment until Ellen let go to
cover her yawn.
I just laugh at her cute expression. I just can’t help it. I
don’t know why..
“So uhm why were you sleeping outside our room?”
“Oh uhh… I left my keys inside.” She said embarrassingly.
I just laugh again. I tried to cover my mouth with my hand. “I’m
so sorry” I said while trying to hold my laugh. Thankfully, she just snigger.
“I know it’s embarrassing. I’m sorry..” She said as she cowers.
The way she said it and the way she cringe made my heart pound
deeply. It feels weird. I’ve never felt this feeling before.
Is this what my friends had that I didn’t back in Australia?
Wait no, she’s a girl. Its weird. Maybe because she’ll be a very
good friend I guess… I don’t know. I’ll just think about it later.
“Well, don’t worry, I have my keys.”
As we went inside, I got surprised that the room is
Then Ellen said “I’m sorry that I fixed your stuff, it’s
just a habit of mine to fix things.” Her trying to explain thing really makes
me find her amusing. I’m kind of embarrassed about it. I can’t believe she went
through all that trouble. I hope she doesn’t see me as a slob.
“I’m sorry for being unorganized, I’ve gotten sort of busy these
days that I haven’t got the time and energy to fix my stuff, but really thank
you. I owe you one.”
“It’s okay” With her considerate smile.
‘This girl is something' I thought, which made me smile a
Its past 10, it’s getting late, I’m almost done.
As I finished fixing my stuff, I suddenly heard a grumbling
sound. “Sorry” Portia said.What I did was give her some of the snacks that I
brought from the cafeteria.
“It’s okay Ellen. That’s your food.” She said.
“No I insist. I’m sure you’re tired from your class. Take it as
a thank you food for a while ago.”
“Well, thank you again Ellen.” She said with a smile.
As I handed her the bag of chips, a shock webbed its way from my
fingers to my spine as it touched hers.I gasp, she jolts by my reacts and
laughed at my reaction. Her laugh sounds lovely. I’m really glad that I’m able
to make her laugh even it was from the cause of my own embarrassment.
“Anyway, is it okay for me to stay by the window side? I’m not
into the whole first come first serve?” Portia asked.
“It’s okay, I don’t mind”
“All right then, but if you want to see the lights of the city
at night, feel free to chill here; the view here is great.”
“Thanks, I’ll take note of that.”
I yawned, a little jetlagged from the trip.
“It is getting late. Thank goodness it’s a Saturday tomorrow”
“Yeah well more time to sleep.” She said as she stretches
her arms “Well goodnight!”
I ate some of the food that she gave me. Then prep myself to
I’m lying down on my bed, still awake. I checked the clock its
past 12. I’m having a hard time on sleeping. I kept thinking about what
happened a while ago when I met Ellen.
I’m kind of confused, but this feeling makes me smile whenever I
think about it. Maybe this is a sign of a very good friendship, I guess..
I woke up. I noticed that its almost lunch time, must have
overslept. My stomach is grumbling. I guess I better grab something to eat. I
noticed that I’m not the only one who overslept. I noticed that Portia is still
I took a shower, I got out and changed. As I got out of the
bathroom, I noticed that Portia has woken up; she raised her arms and stretched
them. Her stretching voice makes her sound adorable. “Good morning” I said,
then she somehow froze and looked at me. “Oh! Morning!..” she covered her face
like she’s embarrassed.
“What’s wrong?” I said.
“I forgot that you’re here; really am embarrassed that you have
to see that.”
“Its fine, it looks cute.” I smiled
“..Um, so what are you up to?” Portia Said
“I think I’m going to go and have some lunch somewhere.”
Then Portia held her stomach, and thought that she could also
get some lunch too.
“Hey wanna come with me to eat somewhere outside? It’s a good
time to go outside and I know this good place where we can eat.” She said.
I happily considered since she’s right, the weather is great and
I want to see more of New York.
“Sorry that you have to wait for me to prepare, I’m going to be
quick.” She said
“No problem, I’ll just fix my stuff before we go.”
Moments later, we went out and walked to the destination.
“Say, what’s the name of the place?” I said.
“Its called ‘Green Pastures’ they have good food there, and I
happen to be a vegetarian.” She said.
“Me too! What a coincidence!” I said with a relief and a smile
on my face.
“Really? Awesome! Then I supposed we’re gonna get along well”
She said happily. With that she clinged her arms to my right arm. I just felt
my stomach like it swirled, I just assumed that I’m just hungry in a weird way,
but my heart starts to beat so fast. What’s this feeling? I try to hide it from
her. Thankfully, we’ve reached the place.
We ordered some food. As we wait and had our lunch there, we get
to know each other, somehow we get to click to a lot of things. She laughs at
my jokes. I laugh at hers too (specifically her accent), even though she
doesn’t make the effort.
Man we had a good time, we still continued even as we get back
at our dorm. Somehow things are going fast for us; we’re comfortable with each
other like we are best friends already.
It’s already 5 pm. We didn’t realize that time goes by that
fast, but we still kept on talking, mostly it’s about dancing then we came
across the part where she would tell me what she’s been practicing for her
class. She tried to explain it to me but I’m having a hard time imagining it. I
was really curious that I convinced her to perform it out.
“Can you show it to me Portia? I’m kind of having a hard time
picturing it.” I said
“All right, but don’t laugh.” She said
“I won’t why would I be?”
So she stood up- I was on the floor ready to see it. “All right
here it goes.”
Then she started to move jump on her feet like she’s on a cloud,
then her arms started to move so gracefully like she’s so light. I was really
in awe at how she dances. I said to my said, she’s so beautiful when she
dances.. She’s so beautiful.
One foot after the other, she accidentally steps on something
that made her slip on the floor, luckily I was near her and my reflexes are
that good. Fortunately she fell on top of me.
“Portia! You okay?!” I was worried that she doesn’t reply.
“Y-yeah, I’m good. Thank you so much for catching me.” She
said with a confused tone as she gets up on top of me
“You sure, did you get hurt or something?”
“No no I just stepped on one of my stuff.” Then she chuckled
“Sorry about that”
“No don’t be, I should be the one since I’m the one who asked
you to perform it.”
“Well it’s my fault for leaving my mess on the floor. I’m such a
klutz” She said as she just laughs at what happened.
I just laughed by what she said and by her accent.
First I clinged to her, which I would normally do with my
friends, but when I did it to her, it felt different in a good way like I would
love to hold on to her longer. Next is when I slipped and fell. I should have
recovered myself when I stepped on what made me slip but from the start when I
did my first position, my legs where kind of weak. Ever since she arrived, things
have change in a good way at the same time … I don’t know how to describe it
but its something that I would like to have.
I checked the time, it’s almost dinner.
“I’ll just go to the washroom” I said after we laughed. I washed
my face. When I looked at the mirror, I noticed that I’m blushing. There I
realized, is this what my friends been feeling like when it comes to their
boyfriends? I’m not quite sure. Maybe I am, maybe it’s not. I think I just have
to ask my bestie back in Australia.
I heard a knock on the door “Portia, you okay in there?” Ellen
“I’m just thinking that we should eat downstairs for dinner”
“All right. I’ll be out just a sec.”
I wiped my face with a towel, tried to calm my red-faced self,
fixed my hair, and went out of the bathroom. Ellen stood up from her bed, all
“Let’s go?” she said.
“Yup! Dancing really makes me hungry” I said then she just
“Well laughing also makes me hungry.” She said with a smirk.
I hit her by the shoulder to knock it off, but I just agreed
Spontaneosly, I just clinged to her as we go down the hall to
It’s Monday today, and it’s tour day for our block. I’m excited
to see the campus for I noticed that it is a pretty big place; a lot of things
to see in this place. When I got out of my bed, I noticed that Portia has left
for her class. I would prefer for Portia to tour me instead, but it’s
required for us to attend. Plus I don’t want to be a burden to her. I’m
impressed that she has to wake up that early on a Monday.
For the first time, I get to meet my block mates. I’m glad that
there is friendly and welcoming like there’s no competition between us. Well
not all of us, but that’s normal in this school. I get to be friends with
Jennifer and Mary, luckily their not competitive ones so we get along somehow,
and their roomies and they’re in the same dorm as I do! This seems to be a
From the main hall to the studios, there are a lot of studios in
school and each and every one is different because it is specialized in a
specific kind of dance to begin with, and each one is a state of the art
structure. Well, that’s what our tour guide told us.
told myself, this
tour is longer than I thought, but
I’m not the only one.
Jennifer: I didn’t expect this tour to take so long. I’m
starting to feel hungry due to all of the walking.
Mary: No wonder we have to go here early, but don’t worry, soon lunch
(Jennifer’s stomach grumbles)
Her face was in shock due to embarrassment, but the three of us
just laughed at it. I for one am also hungry, and started to feel that I have
to go to the washroom.
We’re still in this building filled with studios. I told them
that I have to go to the washroom.
Jennifer: Oh okay, want us to come with you? You might get lost.
Me: No it’s okay, it will be quick plus, it’s kind of far
and it might get your stomach mad.~
Mary: Actually yeah. She said with a giggly voice.
Jennifer: You do have a point. Just catch up with us, since we
don’t know where to go next.
Me: Okay, I’ll catch up with you guys.
I started to go to the opposite way. I asked a guard where the
nearest washroom is, he point it to a hallway where the washroom is far to the
end of that hall way. So I ran as fast as I can to save time and my bladder.
I was satisfied after I came out of the washroom, not I have to
look for them, but I walked instead because it is really a place where you can
see those beautiful studios, some would think that it’s just another studio,
but for a dancer, it’s a heavenly place for us where we get to enjoy and
express ourselves through our dance, but I stopped at this certain studio and
looked at its door window where there is a classes is happening, but it wasn’t
just a class. Portia was in there, dancing.
What it seems to be happening is that everyone is seated in a
circle, but not for Portia because she’s the one at the center dancing.
I’m still looking at the window for dance was a sight. Everyone
was paying attention as she danced like a graceful swan that makes her feet
looks so light. I listened to the song that she’s dancing, it was a classical
music. Her dance harmonizes with it. There it is again, that tingly feeling
that’s happening to me again. It makes me want to perform together with her. I
don’t know why, but I think it would be great if we do. After her
performance everyone clapped, even clapped too because of her astonishing
Then the bell rang, which made me got back to my senses that I
have to go back and look for my block. I was about to run, but students started
to go out of the classroom. Stayed at the side so I won’t be a counter flow to
them. “Ellen?” suddenly someone called my name. It was Portia, she was
surprised and bewildered to see me here.
“Ellen what bring you here? I thought you have a tour with your
“Yeah well, I happen to go to the washroom, but I happen to stop
here ‘coz I-“ I stopped talking because I don’t want her to know that I was
watching their class.
“What do you mean you stopped here?” Her face was really
I… ‘Coz I got lost.” That
wasn’t what I ‘m going to say, but it’s also true. At least that will cover
what I really meant.. wait, that’s odd. Why won’t I tell her why I was there.
“Aww. Poor you” She smiled at me like she sees me as adorable
Why am I starting to feel this weird feeling? Well yeah, I’m
kind of embarrassed but why am I so happy that I get to see her like that? I
don’t what else to tell her.
“Hey, since it’s lunch time, wanna grab some lunch with me? It’s
okay if you don’t-” She asked.
“Sure!” I suddenly answered her. Wait, I should be looking for
block so that I won’t have a hard time later. But I kind of brushed it off and
accept what I just did.
“Well great! But first, I’m going to change my clothes” She
In the washroom changing.
I didn’t expect for Ellen to be there, but I’m glad that she is.
We can hang out this lunch time. Wait, did she saw my performance? That really
made me fret.. but not in a bad way. I guess I’ll just ask her about it later.
Even though today was an early class, thank goodness I’ll have
the rest of the day free!
As I got out of the washroom, Ellen was there staring at the
window where the campus can be see, I noticed that she’s thinking like there
she’s thinking too hard. I approached her to see if she’s okay.
“I’m sorry I took so long to change”
“No its okay. Say, you have your hair down today” Oh yeah she
always sees me in a bun or in a pony tail.
“Oh yeah, well after class or practice I have it down to relax
it a bit. Then I put it back hours later. So it wouldn’t be a fuss for me.”
“I like it when your hair is down. Well what I mean is that I
like your hair, either tied up or not” Smiles at me, which I appreciate. Here
it goes again, my legs are weakening, well I guess I’m tired from that
“Smooth save there, but thanks. So shall we go?” I said. She
We arrived at the cafeteria, grabbed some food, and luckily got
As we ate our food, I noticed that there seems to be a quiet
atmosphere between us. So I just started a conversation.
“So, what do you think of my performance a while ago?”
Ellen’s eyes widened by my question. “Oh, uhm. You were really
great” Her voice crackled for some reason.
It seems that I pressed a button there. She’s so adorable when
“So you did watch my performance.” I tease her.
“Wait what?.. uhm yeah. Well I just saw the end part of it, then
the bell rang.
“Ahh alright, well what do you think of my performance?”
“it was amazing, you dance…”
“Really? Like how?” I really appreciate when people like my
performance, especially Ellen.
“W-well uhm, (sigh) to be honest Port-“
“There you are!” someone shouted from our table.
I was shocked to what interrupted us, but I was glad to be saved
by the bell. It was Jennifer and Mary.
Mary: “Where have you been Ellen?”
Me: Well I uhm, I happen to (I looked at Portia) bump at my
(I introduced her to them and made their salutations.)
Jennifer: Well Ellen, our tour guide said that we’ll have lunch
here for an hour, and we’ll go to the next destination.
(I looked at Portia, who’s just eating her meal.)
Ellen: Is it okay if Portia would come with us?
Jennifer: I guess so, why not?
Ellen: Portia you’re okay with that right?
Portia: Sure, I have the rest of the day anyway.
Jennifer: Great! Then we’ll see you guys later.
Ellen: Why won’t you guys stay at our table?
Mary: You sure? (Mary made a face like she’s up to something)
Portia: Yeah, it would be nice.
Jennifer: Well okay, thanks Portia!
As we ate our lunch, Jennifer told us that it was time to go.
We’re just at the back of the group, Portia was right beside me.
The tour continues at the park, where we get to see a pond with
a sculpture of two people dancing together on the center of it. While the tour
guide discussed about the it, Portia whispered to me.
“I gotta say, that sculpture is really beautiful.”
“Yeah, she is” I said as I look at her.
looks at me and smiled. Wait,
did I just said that? Shoot.. what should I say?!
“That pond really brings up the beauty in this place. Don’t you
agree?” I try to save myself…
“Yeah, she certainly does.” Portia nodded.
“But I’ll there’s a place I think that is better, but I’ll show
it to you later.” Portia said
So we continued our tour outside where it was chilly since its
autumn. Portia clings at me for she’s kind of chilled. She didn’t have many
thick clothes since it was sudden for her to be with us.
I felt bad about it, I took off my gray scarf and lend it to
“Here wear it. I’m sorry, I didn’t thought about this would
happen.” I said.
“Oh thanks. (wears the scarf) It’s okay it’s my fault─ as
Her scarf is soft and warm. It smells like her. (I don’t mean to
be freaky, okay?)
As we walk together, I begin to imagine that we’re the only ones
here, just strolling around the campus. This really makes me happy. I really
glad that I happen to find Ellen.
When the tour was done, it was the right time to show Ellen that
beautiful place that the tour didn’t include since it’s just near where we are.
“Ellen, want to see the place that I told you awhile ago?”
“Sure, I would glad to see it.”
So I held her hand and led her to my favorite place.
It was getting dark. The red leaves from the trees are falling
to the ground which is a sight to watch.
Portia and I walked to this bricked road where it’s filled with
tall trees, beside the road I noticed a small gazebo surrounded by bushes,
which made me smile by it.
“I know right” Portia said as we went and chilled inside the
“I found this place while I was walking around because of its
serenity which somehow releases some stress. You would only hear a small amount
of city noise here. What’s best is during the night.”
Then all of a sudden, the lamp posts from the brick road opened.
“Right on time.” Portia said
“Wow..” I was in awe to see everything.
We didn’t say anything for a while. Not in an awkward way for
we’re enjoying the view, but then I noticed that I feel something unusual in
me; heart starts to beat heavily, which made me worry.
I tried to stay calm, but instead I break the silence.
“Thank you Portia… For this.”
welcome” She smiles and looks at me like she’s the one who just saw this place
for the first time. I have to be honest, her eyes are really mesmerizing to
look at even though it’s kind of dark. Why
am I staring at them too long?? Get a grip Ellen. I look back at the
We just stayed there for a while enjoying those lights and
silence, until I felt Portia shiver.
“I think we should go back, since its dark and it got colder.” I
“Yeah, I guess so.” She said in her shaking voice
As we walk the wind blew right in front of us, I can’t help but
to offer my jacket for I don’t want to see her like that, but she would rather
share it with me. I accept it since mine is kind of big─ it’s my brother’s old
“You’re really warm you know.” She said as she clings to my left
People say that I am warm, that I’m nice to hug, so I understand
that she would hug me, especially since I felt her freezing hand against my arm.
makes me want to just cuddle with her under the blankets… wait, why would I just do
that?? Look Ellen, she just does it because your warm, and she’s cold.
I shook my head and change the topic in my mind.
As we arrived on our dorm, and got in our room, Portia went to
the washroom. I plan to prepare some tea to warm us up.
“Would you like some tea?” I asked Portia.
“Yeah, that would be great.” She replied.
I hung my coat and kept my shoes, then prepared the tea.
As I brought it to our coffee desk that is between our beds, I
see Portia on the other side of the room; she is looking for something warm to
wear since it’s a bit chilly.
She was wearing her bra and pajamas while she was there, then I
noticed her body… its weird, I’ve never looked at a girl like that. This
feeling inside of me has been gradually getting stronger, especially since she
brought me to that gazebo.
Is this what Sean meant? Is this… wait it’s going to be weird. I
shouldn’t do this since she might not feel the same way as I do.
I just dropped the idea and poured some tea in the cups.
“That looks great.” Portia said
“I hope you like Earl Grey” I said.
She sat down beside me and lift the cup near her nose, smelled
the aroma, and made smile.
“I love it, especially that it’s warmth is really soothing for
me.” Portia said.
“I remember you didn’t finish your answer about my question
during lunch.” She looked at me like she wants to tease me.
“Oh.. You won’t leave that would you.”
“Nope” She smiles.
“Well I have to tell you, your performance was beautiful. The
way you move… it makes me want to uhm.” I paused, trying to say it correctly.
“It makes me want to dance with you.” There I said it. Gawd I hope she doesn’t take it the wrong
I just nodded. I just look at my cup, and took a sip.
Ellen just said that?
I really don’t know what to say, well I think I do know but I
think that would be confusing her.
“Well thanks Ellen, really.” I said.
We just looked at the window and watch the view of the lights
“I would also love to dance with you. But first I want to see
how you dance.” I said.
“Sure! Uhm. Maybe some other time, I feel so lazy because it’s
cozy right now.” She said
“Aww really? Great! Come here.” I put down the cup and hug her. At
first it’s just being all adorable and grateful, but that changed my intention;
I feel so comfortable with her, she’s really warm. It makes me to put my face
on her shoulder.
Before I knew it, she responded by hugging me back, her arms are
wrapped around my shoulders
“This is nice.” I whispered.
“Yes it is.” She replied.
“Ellen, if it’s okay, can we stay on my bed, I would like to
watch the view without having an aching butt.”
Ellen just laughed and stood up and sat on my bed since the view
by my bed is better.
We sat on my bed and leaned at the wall. I hug her close that I
can feel her heartbeat. Right now I feel so relaxed and filled with bliss as
I’m with Ellen.
Having Portia this close to me really makes my heart is beat
heavily. I’m worried that something might happen to me, but I try focus on the
view, then it gradually calms down.
We sat and talk about what happened today; I told her about
Jennifer and Mary, and what I think of the tour. Later on, I notice it started
drizzling. We can hear the thunder rumble softly.
“I have to say again, this is nice especially that it’s started
to rain softly.” She said
I agree, especially when you’re with someone that you love. That
I may have notice it late,
but right now I’m certain. I am in love with an amazing girl named Portia, who
happens to be wrapped around my arms this moment.
I was woken
by the chirps of the two birds of on our window sill. It may be annoying for
others to hear them wake you up from your sleep, but for me it’s nice to see
animals in the big city.
thing that I noticed is that I’m not on my bed. Wait… Shoot! I overslept at Portia’s bed! Last night… I grinned
about what happened last night, but then I thought butwe’re girls. What if she
doesn’t feel the way I do? What if she just treats me like a friend like
Jennifer and Mary?
Gawd! I suck at understanding things
like this. Right now, all I want to do is to be with Portia as I am now, and
for her to have the same feelings as I do. I don’t mean to be creepy and
selfish, but… but…
totally wide awake, even though I’m not moving in bed with Portia, my mind is
panicking of what to do, but suddenly it was disrupted by the subtle movement
of Portia. Her deep sigh just makes my stomach nervous. I started to process
what’s happening right now; Portia’s still in her deep sleep; my arms are still
around her; It’s Tuesday today, I checked my alarm clock, I still have an hour
before my alarm rings. I’ve thought of what I’m suppose to do, so I’ve decided
to appreciate this moment while I can, with her this close.
I only have
an hour for this moment to be like this with her, but as my blue eyes set gaze
at her wavy golden hair, and my arms feel the comforting warmth with her, I
completely forget the presence of time.
Oh how I feel
my face smile like an idiot. My heart feels like would burst out celebrating
this iridescent feeling that I’m having, but this feeling subtly changes into
something that brings me back to my argument awhile ago.
What should I do? I asked myself. It took me awhile to
figure what to do. I know! I’ll talk to
Sean!I think he knows about these things.It’s a long shot, but I’ll try. Now
how can I contact him… Then I noticed my alarm clock, I have few more
minutes before it rings. How weird it is for time to not cooperate with me. Calm down Ellen just calm down.
I slowly get off the bed in order not to wake
Portia up. It’s unfortunate for me to do this, but I don’t want to wake her up
since her alarm is set to ring an hour later.
plan. First, I’ll fix myself for my morning classes then at lunch I’ll try to
ask downstairs how to contact Sean. After break, I’ll attend my afternoon
class. Luckily I only have one class, so that somehow, hopefully, I would ask
Sean for help.
Before I left
the room, I took one more look at Portia who’s still sound asleep. I can’t help
but to carefully place a subtle kiss on her head.
I gave her a kiss, and went out of the room without turning my back.
around) “Ellen’s not here anymore”, Portia mumbles. I guess she has an early class. It took a few
seconds for Portia to recollect what happened last night. Portia held her
blanket and hugged it as she thinks of her. In the end of it, Portia smiles as
she recalls all of it, but her joyful face changes into a concerned one.
What does this mean? What’s going to
happen between us? Are we still friends or just friends? Is this what it feels
like when you’re in love? How should I know? I’ve never been in love with someone.
How should I tell Ellen about how I feel? She’s somehow my only friend here.
questions started to fill up in my mind, but not a single answer comes out of
As I think of
it, I fixed my bed, washed the mugs that we used for tea last night, then I cleaned and
prepared myself for school.
I decided to
TRY not to think about it for I have to focus on the classes that I’ll attend.
Hopefully, I’ll talk about it with her in the end of the day.
you very much!” I said to the lady by the desk.
I can finally
call Sean in our phone dormitory. So I dialed the name, and waited for him to
“Hello, this is Sean” he said benevolently
this is Ellen Degeneres” I said in a nervous voice
Ellen! how may I help you?” he said with a cheerful voice when he heard that
“Uhm, if it
won’t bother you, I need someone to talk to.”
Ellen? Did something happened?” he said in a concerned voice
nothing wrong.” Then I just paused for I don’t know how to say it while I’m at
the lobby of the dormitory.
I’ll be right there in just a few. Meet me at the benches, right beside your
dormitory so that we can talk about it, alright? ” he said benignly. Just that
he somehow understood what I’m dealing with.
I just sat on
the bench right beside the dormitory; luckily it’s under a tree for some shade,
for Sean to arrive. Moments later he arrived. He waved and smiled at me. I
smiled and waved at him too for I am really grateful to have someone to talk to
about what I’m dealing with. We both sat down, and then he faced me with a
wrong? Your tone on the phone doesn’t seem alright” He said.
for making you worry it’s just that I was nervous because I was really hoping
to be to talk to you.”
can’t talk to me with anything. But why me? Don’t you have a guidance
“We do, but
I’m not comfortable yet with the guidance councilor. I just thought that you
seem to be a good friend to me since your very nice to me that first time I met
you, and you seem to be good in talks about love.” I said shyly.
all, I’m honored, and second of all, this is about love is it?” He said as he
I just froze
for a moment to what he just said.
thing! Is it love? But we’re girls! If it is, what should I do!? I don’t want
to lose her! I just blurted out the questions that I’ve been asking to myself.
on for a second Ellen. Take a deep breath (takes a deep breath) okay, tell me
everything.” He said with control.
So I told him
what happened from the start to the time I woke up early this morning.
okay if you have feelings for this girl. There’s nothing wrong with you, and
there’s nothing wrong about liking the same gender. I’m just like you, but I
like guys. Just remember, love is love.” He said in a thoughtful voice. Somehow
that comforts me; I don’t feel alone because I have a friend who I can relate
your stories, it seems that she really likes you; she showed you her favorite
spot even if it’s cold outside; both of you cuddles together and fell asleep… I
have to say, you guys look like a cute couple.” Sean teases.
don’t want to assume because maybe that’s what’s being a girl and a friend.” He
said which made me feel like it’s a 50-50 chance for.
“I know this
is a long shot, but I think you have to tell her, how you feel about her to you,
and what you guys are. You have to do it soon because you wouldn’t want any
If you can,
ask her in a subtle way. Haven’t you talked about these things (crushes) since
you guys talk to each other a lot?”
“We do talk
about a lot of stuff, but not these kinds of stuff.” I said coyly.
“Well give it
a try, then you can get a clearer view about her. I know it’s your first time
to like someone, I know this may suck, but whatever happens you have to accept
the truth, whether or not she feels the same way.” He said.
I agreed to
everything he said I really have to talk to her about what this. I looked at my
watch; I still have 15 minutes of lunch time.
So I thanked
Sean for listening to me, and giving me some advice.
“Also, let me
know what happens. Just call me during lunch time, I’m free during that time.
Same place too. Okay?” He said with a smile of hope.
I smiled at
him to show my gratitude, but my face froze because from a distance, I could
see Portia walking by to our dormitory.
to get a small panic attack, until Sean asked me what’s wrong.
Portia. She’s heading this way!” I said husky voice.
down. I’m here, or do you want to be alone?” Sean said with a smile on his
for a while.” I begged.
noticed me sitting by the bench, she walked towards me with a smile on her beautiful
face. Sean and I stood up to meet her.
Portia, this is Sean, he’s works as a driver for the school. He’s the one who
fetched me from the airport, and who happens to become my friend. Sean this is
Portia is my dorm mate and my.. friend.
Ellen why did you pause! Now she’ll
think that something’s up.
you’re the Portia that Ellen’s been talking about I heard great things about
you I’m glad to meet you Portia.” Sean said flamboyantly.
smiled and responded to what Sean said.
I guess that stopped the awkwardness.
Thank you! What did she say about me?” Portia asked curiously.
“She said that
you’re an excellent ballet dancer, and you’re a scholar in this school.” Sean
Wow Sean is good at this.
They seem to
get along. As I checked my watch, I realized that I have to go to my next class
already. Sadly I have to interrupt them to tell them that I have to go. Sean
understood and said his goodbyes to us already.
“I’m the rest
of the day I’ll be in the dorm then. Wanna meet when you’re done with your
class?” Portia asks.
see you then. Sorry but I have to go” I said and ran to my class to the
building. Before I even hear her response I ran to my class which is
fortunately just near the dormitory.
Later did I realize
that I haven’t eaten lunch.
today seems to be a helpful distraction from all the things that I’ve been
worrying about lately. Dancing never lets me down.
grumbles) I started holding my stomach.
Man I’m still
starving.Thank gawd there was a
vending machine for snacks near the dance room, but that doesn’t fill my
stomach enough. I cannot wait to get back to the dorm for some food… Oh yeah I
have to meet with Portia in our room!
grumbles) (looks at the clock)
arrive soon. Is she alright? When I saw by the bench with Sean, she looks
flustered. Was it about last night?… Wait did I made her uncomfortable? Gawd
I hope not.
started to curved, then I noticed the door opening so I went back to my
these mixed feelings; I’m happy to meet up with Portia, but at the same time
I’m afraid to what’s going to happen between us. (Stomach grumbles) Well my
stomach is really getting cranky alright.
As I opened
my room, I see Portia on her bed, wearing her headphones, and reading some
magazines. She finally noticed me when I reached my bed.
She said as she removes her headphones.
replied in tired voice.
asked as I placed my bag on my bed and put my dirty clothes on my hamper.
Let’s go!” I said emphatically.
smiled, and eagerly put her magazine down and worn her shoes.
As we arrived
in the cafeteria, the smell of food made my stomach grumble. We both grab a
tray and utensils for food, and found a spot by the window door. My stomach
made me dig in to my food. Thankfully I’m not the only one with a hungry
appetite; I’m glad that Portia is enjoying her food.
minutes, I started a conversation.
“I’m sorry it
took me a while to get back to the dorm. You could have went without me.”
“No no it’s
okay Ellen. I really appreciate you accompanying me. To tell you the truth I
feel uncomfortable, when I eat alone in a public place.” She said.
just gave me some more air to breathe. Well
that lessened my worries.
Then I’ll be glad to accompany you” I said as I smile at her.
Ellen.” Portia gratefully said. She held my arm to express her gratitude, I
suddenly froze. I just looked at my food and continue eating; not making eye
contact to her. Ellen your making it
obvious! She might wonder why your acting like this.
alright Ellen?” She said
just tired.” I lied.
I could see
that she wasn’t convinced. I just ignored it and finished the food. The trip back
to our room is really quiet. I have to do something about this. I don’t want to
ruin our relationship as friends. While I was thinking on what to do, Portia
beckoned to me that it’s time to get off the elevator.
we entered our room. We both went to the washroom to brush our teeth. We both smirked
at the coincidence, but it went back to the awkward silence. No eye contact or
whatsoever. After we prepared ourselves for bed, I went straight to bed and curled
myself in bed. Ellen what are you doing?!
I told Portia while curled up in my bed but not facing her.
My eyes are squinting with the regret for only saying those words, not even at least facing
her. I’m sorry Portia for acting weird, I
just don’t how to explain how I feel for you.
AsI curl up in bed with my blankets, I noticed that her lamp beside her bed is still up.
This is what I’m afraid
of. She’s not going to talk to me is she?
“Goodnight Ellen.” I said
softly, but I don’t think she heard it since she covered herself with her
I’m still full from what I
ate; I’m just going to lean on the headboard for a while, and keep my lamp up. For some
reason, it makes me check on Ellen if she is awake. What am I doing? This can wait. I’ll just read my magazine while the
food to settles.
Was that Ellen? Looked at the bedside of Ellen. Maybe I just
misheard stuff. I guess I’ll get some sleep already─. (Ellen groans)
“Ellen?” I asked coyly.
It’s Ellen. She continues to groan, then she removed her blankets, rose up and ran to the bathroom. Seeing her shirt, she’s sweating.
“Ellen what’s wrong?” I
said, as I put away my magazine and blanket.
I was frozen for a second
to process what just happened, but immediately I jumped out of bed and
approached Ellen. I can hear Ellen hurl on the toilet bowl. My instincts made
me approach her closer. “Ellen, what’s wrong?” I said lightly as I held her shoulder and gently rub
her back. It took her awhile to respond to me then I noticed that she’s pale.
I grabbed a face towel in my
drawer, and wiped her sweaty face and neck.
“Well the worst is over.”
Ellen said with a weak smile.
“Can you get up?”
She nodded, but I could see
that she’s still weak.
“C’mon I’ll help you.” I
said. She didn’t hesitate; she cling her sweaty arms around my
shoulders for support.
I fixed her pillows so
that she can lean at the headboard. I put a trashcan with a new garbage bag
beside her bed, just in case.
“Okay. I’m going to get
you a shirt to replace your sweaty one. I’m going to get something done the
vending machine. While I’m out, change your top alright? I said calmly with concern.
I went to her drawer to
grab a shirt and gave it to her. After that I went to the vending machine to
get some Gatorade for her.
As I got back, She still
hasn’t changed her top. I could see that she’s half asleep and weak.
“Ellen, I brought some
Gatorade.” I whispered
She noticed that I’m back
and gave me a subtle groan.
I have to focus on what has to be done.
“Ellen, I have to change
your sweaty shirt so that you won’t get worse.” I said
“’kay.” She mumbles.
I have no choice but to do
it. I took of her sweaty shirt, put it aside. I wiped her arms, back and chest
with the face towel. She’s really sweaty. Is
she awake? I wondered, I looked at her tired face then lingered at her shoulders and arms, but I snapped out of
it. I grabbed the new shirt and clothed her. Portia! focus okay?
“Ellen, sorry to wake you
up but here’s some Gatorade.”
She’s too weak to hold the
bottle so I helped her drink it.
As she gestured that
it’s enough I placed it on her bed desk.
I sat beside her bed,
lightly massaged her hand.
My mom used to do this to
me and my brother every time we don’t feel well. For me it very soothing, and I
think it is to Ellen; I could see that her lips are no longer pale, she’s no longer sweating either.
It seems that she’ll be
As I get up, Ellen wakes
up. “Portia?” She’s said.
“Yeah? Are you okay?” I
“Thank goodness. Now get
some sleep okay? Can you go to class tomorrow?” I asked.
“Yeah, I don’t have an
early class on Wednesday.” She smiles.
Her smile made me smile.
“That’s great, you can get
more rest then. Alright? Now, goodnight El─”
“Wait, um..” She calls me.
“If it’s not too much to
ask, could you sleep beside me for tonight?” She asks timidly.
I was relieved that not
only she’s getting well, but also she’s finally talking to me. My heart got
heavier with all the happiness that I’m now having. I thought that Ellen would still be distant to me.
I just smiled at her and
nodded to her request.
“No problem… Goodnight Ellen.” I said as I turned
off the lamp beside my bed.
As I open my eyes I saw
the sky in our window; its dawn. Soon my alarm clock is going to ring. As I
checked it I still have 20 minutes. I turn my body to the other side, Ellen is sound
asleep. Seeing her lying right beside me makes me feel all cozy inside of me,
like I want to stay like this for hours with her and… (Sigh) If only it were possible.
I remembered that time when I held her arm she acted weird while where in the
I better get up before my
alarm clock rings. 5 minutes before it rings. I really want to stay beside
Ellen more, but the thing comes back at me. So I decided to get up. I try not
to move much since Ellen is a light sleeper, but I have to turn off my alarm
Ellen mumbles. “Portia?”
She’s a light sleeper alright.
“Morning. I’m sorry I woke
you up.” I whispered.
“No it’s okay.” She
“Are you feeling okay?”
“Yes. Portia thank you for
what you did, and I’m sorry for last night. I owe you big time.”
“It’s alright. Now get
some more rest. I’m just going take a shower for class.”
So I prepared myself for
class. I have two morning class and I have an afternoon class until 6 pm.
As I finished my
preparations I checked Ellen, who is asleep. Before I opened the door I just
took a glimpse at her, seeing her sleep like an angel just gives me a piece of
mind. As I closed the door, and placed my key in my bag that image of her in
her sleep just starts my day great.
(Alarm clock ringing) I
grabbed my alarm to shut it off. Its 9 o’clock, thankfully I don’t have an
early class, but not for Portia. Last night was so far the worst thing that happened
to me here in school, what makes it worse is that I got Portia get involved
with my reckless doing. I really owe her big time.
As I got up and went to
the bathroom, before I went to the shower part I looked at the toilet area, where
that embarrassing thing happened, it gives me cringes just remembering it. I
tried to ignore it, went inside the shower area and focused on what I have to
do which is “what I have to do in order to I make it up for her.” After having
some thought about it in the shower just gave me some great ideas, but first I
have to ask her about it.
As I arrived in the dance studio our
instructor made us sit to announce something to us.
“Okay class, as earliest
as now I would like to invite everyone to the school’s Grand ball. It’s near
the end of the semester. Your college has this tradition for all the freshmen, or
so I consider a ‘perk’ for your social life. It’s like prom but with better
dancers.” Everyone laughed. “It’s also a way for you guys to socialize with
your fellow dancers, but here’s the thing, it’s only optional for everyone to
attend this event because in this ball you have to have a partner, who you can
dance with, that way you can experience what it’s like to dance with some.”
Everyone started talking to each other about who are they’re going with to this
ball. Everyone is excited for this event.
I raise my hand, “Yes
Ellen?” he said
“Can our partners be
anyone? I asked
“Ah, I’m about to say that
thank you Ellen.” he said.
“As long as it’s an undergrad
student in this university there’s no problem about it.” And that’s all he said
about it. I heard some students groan about it.
“Now there’s one more
thing which makes this event interesting is there are prizes that would sure
you guys would want.” He said. Then suddenly everyone got curious and excited
“Whoever wins the pair will
get to fix their own schedule for the next semester.” He said, which everyone
became determined to join this ball. Then a student raised her hand and asked.
“What do we do to win that
“Well it’s a secret. Every
year it changes, so if you ask the upperclassmen it’s different, what you
should do is do your best in your performance and have fun.” He said. “Now
further details will be posted outside. If you have questions, just contact the
person that is mention in the post. Now let’s start our warm-up shall we?”
After the announcement, we
went straight to our warm-ups. During our stretching I started thinking about
that ball. I started thinking about coming with Portia. I’ve always wanted to
dance with her. This fits with my plan for Portia, I really hope that she say
yes to both of them.
I’m finally at the dorm
studying by practicing our new lesson in our contemporary class on our spacious area of our
room. As I’m done, I lay down on my bed, and started thinking of what I’m supposed to
do for the first plan. Just thinking about it seems exciting, but behind that excitement
is still pending. I have to do is wait for Portia.
As I lay down there, I
hear the door opens. I immediately rose up from bed like a dog who’s excited to
see their owner. Ellen be cool! I noticed that she hasn’t noticed me. (Sigh) Thank
gawd she didn’t see that. Changed by acting casual so not to scare her.
“Hi Ellen. how are you?”
She replied as she put her stuff down and approached my bed.
“I’m good. Thanks, but you
don’t have to worry anymore.” Seeing her act like this made me think of that
embarrassing moment but at the same time touched, for her to be concerned about
“Great. Thank goodness.” I
hear the tone of relief in her voice.
“Um Ellen, if I may ask, what happened to you
last night?” Oh no, that..
“Oh uhm, (bows her head) I know it’s so stupid, but I curled myself down while my stomach was so full. It gave me stomach aches, then
it made me want to puke.” She said
I tried to hold my laugh after listening to what she just said. Due
to embarrassment she hid her face and nudge it to my shoulder.
“Ellen!” I snicker. “I’m sorry Ellen, but why
would you do that?” I asked while tittering. “I’m just embarrassed.”
“Embarrassed about what??”
She asked with concern.
Shoot. Now my back is
against the wall, I don’t know what else to say. I don’t have anything to say.
There was a long pause in the atmosphere, until Portia said, “It’s okay Ellen;
you don’t have to tell me. I’m sorryfor forcing you, but I just want to tell you that
you can talk to me whenever you want to talk to someone.”
I just nodded at her and
thanked her for her support.
I just want to change the
topic before it gets anymore awkward. I tried to think quick of what to talk
about. Then I just blurted out my plan that I’ve haven’t thought of very well.
“Hey Portia, do you have
any plans for thanksgiving?” I blurted out.
“Thanksgiving?” She asked
with a question mark on her face.
“Oh yeah! Sorr,y I forgot
that your Austrian.” I face palmed myself intentionally.
“I’m australian Ellen” she said as she giggles.
She’s still waiting for me
“It’s an American Holiday
in November, it’s the time when we celebrate how thankful we are with what we
have. Plus it’s a long break. So I was just wondering-” I just stopped talking and started to
rubbing my fingers.
“Ohh. Well I was thinking
of staying here since the roundtrip plane ticket is too expensive for me. Why’d
you ask?” She mentioned.
“W-well, I was thinking of
inviting you for my family Thanksgiving back at New Orleans, to celebrate it
with my family.” There I’ve finally said!
“I owe you for what you did for me. It’s my way of thanking you for what you did.
Since you’ve never experience thanksgiving at all, you’re in for a treat.” My
voice started to escalate due to excitement.
“I want you to experience
it at the best place, my place, since my mother and auntie are excellent cooks.
Trust me you’ll love them and their food.” Later did I notice that I kept on
blabbering a lot of stuff to Portia. “Oh.. Uhm sorry Portia. I don’t mean to brag about it
and to give you any pressure. It’s okay if you don’t−“
“No no! I would to come to
your family’s thanksgiving! It sounds exciting.” Portia said, grabbing my hands, sounding
enthusiastic for it.
My face gleamed with
happiness and relief as I heard her say those words, especially in the best
way. I’m so relieved that risk was saved. As I look at my hands, my body
started to process what’s happening. After that moment, I could feel her warm
hands holding my sweaty ones. She’s holding my
hands! My sweaty hands!
I immediately pulled them away to wipe them on
“Sorry for the sweaty
hands. I was nervous to ask you about it.” Dude
“No it’s okay.” She
smiles. “I can’t wait to experience it. Thank you for inviting me El.-I mean Ellen. Sorry, I didn’t mean to. Uhm..” She just stopped smiling from what she just said.
I smiled at her and said,
“It okay for you to call me that. My friends and family call me that back home.
Is it okay for me to call you with a nickname?”
“Sure, To be even.” She
“Great! Thanks Port.” I
smile as I said my nickname for her. She giggled; I’m gladd that she likes
I cannot wait for
thanksgiving to arrive. I’m really excited to introduce her to my family and to
spend time her. Also I miss my family.
When I was 12 years old my parents got
divorced. I stayed with my mom while my brother, Vance, stayed with my dad. I’m
not mad, but I was upset not only because of what happened but seeing my mother
grieving alone breaks my heart. So I do what I do best to cheer her up; I crack
jokes to her, which thankfully brings a smile on her face; I make her dance
with me, which somehow helps her forget what she grieves. Seeing her being
happy is already makes me happy, and that is enough for me.
Then one day I got the acceptance letter for my
scholarship in this dance school. I was excited at first, but then I’ve thought
of my Mama. I started having doubts of not going to this school because I don’t
want to leave my mama alone, but at the same time I’ve always wanted to attend
this school because of all the experiences and opportunities I could get.
Dancing just makes me happy, and my mother. At that moment, two of the things
that I love the most must brought down to one. It took me days to decide if I
should accept it or not, until my mama (that’s what I call her) approached me,
and told me to take the scholarship. “El, thank you for being there for me, I’m
really blessed to have you and Vance as my children, as a mother I want you to
be happy, I don’t want to be against what makes you happy. If you’re concerned
about me, thank you, but you also have to be concerned about yourself. Seeing
you dance with all your heart, already makes me happy so take the scholarship,
I’ll be fine here. I’ll always be right behind you supporting you because I
love you.” Hearing her say those things brought me into tears. “Thank you” I
said, I hugged her for the gratitude that I could give her.
“Just call m or write me a letter alright?”
“Oh I will” I replied.
And I have. In the past 2
months I’ve been mailing her with letters, twice or thrice a month, since I
have so many stories to tell her; I’ve told her about my first few days here; I
told her that I met new Friends like Sean the driver, Jennifer, Mary, and
Portia, most of the time it’s about Portia, I’ve also sent photos that I took in
the campus, mostly my dorm building, New York, my classmates while we’re in the
cafeteria, Portia and me in the dorm room. Based on her mails she’s happy to
see me happy with what I do. She assured me that she’s been doing well with her
sister, my auntie, back in New Orleans.
Based on her latest letter
she wrote that she cannot wait to see me for the thanksgiving holiday. Reading
that part of the letter just made my heart pump strong so strong that I haven’t
mentioned about what I’ve planned. I
should tell her very soon. I guess now.
I approached our dorm room’s
phone booth, to contact my mama’s house.
(phone ringing on the
other end) The waiting is killing me. Now
relax Ellen, you don’t want to scare mama. As I heard the click, I thought
that this is the moment of truth. I sense that the phone feels slippery because
of my sweaty palm.
“Hello?” I hear my mama’s
voice. Even though we’ve been exchanging letters, hearing my mama’s voice made
me miss her so much.
“Hi mama!” I called.
“Ellen! I can’t believe it’s
you! How are you dear?”
“Great great! I’m doing
well.” I said with a crackled voice. Shoot.
“Is there something wrong
baby?” Mama asked. There’s no way to put it but to say it.
“Uhm, mama. About the
“Why you can’t come?” She
“No! no! I wouldn’t do
that. It’s just that..” Here goes
nothing. “I was thinking of bringing a friend for Thanksgiving. It’s Portia, my
roommate. She won’t leave the school since it’s too expensive to go back to her
country. So I’ve uh, kinda invited her to ours.”
“Ohhh” I hear her laugh with relief. “There’s
no problem with that dear. The more the merrier! and this Portia, based on your
stories, she seems wonderful. I can’t wait to meet her.”
I made a huge silent sigh not
to let mama hear it. “G-great! Oh thank
you! thank you! thank you mama! I’m so excited for thanks giving. I can’t wait
to see you!” I did those mini-jumps, like a kid who’s excited to go to
disneyland, but only for a short while not to look weird to the other people in
“Is there anything else I have
to know? Have you met anyone?” Mama said like she’s up to something.
“No ma!” I said with a
grunt. I overreacted.
“Okay! okay. I was just
kidding” She chuckled.
“That’s all for now mama.
See you on thanksgiving.”
“Alright, take good care of
“Yes mama. I love you.”
“Love you too.”
As I put down the phone. I
made a small victory fist pump with my arm. I cannot believe it! Now I’m really
excited for thanksgiving. Three more weeks to go!
Lunch Time: Cafeteria
“What do you.. Ellen”
Jennifer called my attention. “W-what?” I haven’t been listening to what
Jennifer and Mary have been discussing about, because I’ve been thinking about
the upcoming holiday where Portia having thanksgiving, for the first time, at
my place. One more week before the holidays.
“Someone’s been spacing
out too much.” Mary noticed, “Ellen what’s up with you?”
“Sorry guys, I’m just
thinking of thanksgiving, one more week to go, yeah?” I said with enthusiasm.
“Ellen that’s like the
third time you mentione about thanksgiving. Are you really that homesick. Something’s
up is it?” Jennifer asks.
“Ohh uh I’m just excited
to go back to my home.” I said with a grin on my face.
“Ahh.. So there is
something. Something that you’re not telling us Ellen. Spill it out!” Mary asks
which made both of their attention towards me.
“Uhm.. well..” I started
to blush. “I’m bringing Portia back to New Orleans for Thanksgiving that’s why.”
I bowed my head down in order not to show them my grinning face.
Both of them, in unison,
gave me that grin that expresses that they’re getting an idea from it.
“Wow~ meeting with the
parents are we now~” Mary teases with her smug face. Jennifer raised her hand
to get a high five from Mary, and then to me, but I left her hand hanging.
“No no! Guys, it’s not
what you think. We’re not even together. I invited her for thanksgiving because..
uh. She’s not going anywhere during the holidays.” I defended.
“Okay, if you say so”
Jennifer backs off coolly. “Is that the reason why you’ve been smiling like an
idiot, and not paying attention to us?”
“I-I.. uhm..” I don’t know
what else to say, but to stay quiet with my head bowed down.
“Ellen, you’re so obvious
that you like her!” Jennifer is still smiling with her hand on cue.
Looking at Jennifer’s hand
makes me wonder, should I be open about
my feelings towards Portia to my friends?
“You’re okay with that?” I
asked them with a weak voice.
“Okay with what? You
having feelings for Portia?” Jennifer asked.
Hearing her say the fact
gave a strong hit inside of my chest that it made me my face feel warm. No
saying anything gives them the answer.
“Ellen, you don’t have to
hide your feelings from us. We’re your friends and we love you.” Jennifer asks
“It’s quite obvious that
you have feelings for her since the first few weeks. Plus you guys are cute
together. Right Mary?” Mary smiles as she nods.
“Thank you guys. Sorry it
took a while to tell you guys. It’s just that it’s my first time to feel this
way, I don’t know who else I can tell, except my friend Sean who can relate to
me. So I’m really sorry.” I said.
“Hey no worries. We’re
sorry that we forced you to admit it. We just want you to be open to us and be
comfortable about it. ” Mary replied.
“I understand. Thank you
again.” I said.
“So give me a high-five
already ‘coz my hand is starting to get tired!” Jennifer insists. I gave her a
satisfying high-five. That it has given me a relief between my friends.
“Cmon El w might miss the
train.” I called her for the nth time.
I’m standing in front of our door, already packed for our trip at Ellen’s hometown, New Orleans, for thanksgiving. I’m excited about it, but at the
same time I am nervous to meet her family. As I think about it, it’s
like I’m meeting Ellen’s family as her girlfriend! I try to shove that stupid thought off of my
mind not to ruin this trip.
Ellen is a thoughtful friend to invite me back at her
hometown because I have nowhere else to
go during the holidays. I kept on repeating this on my mind every time I
think about that ridiculous thought.
“Don’t be excited Port
we’ll make it on time” Ellen says. “Man, your excited than me.”
“Well I can’t wait to meet
your parents, and experience thanksgiving. How about you why aren’t excited to
visit home as I do?”
“I am. I just don’t want
to act weird like a girl who’s excited to go to disneyland.” Ellen says as she gives me that teasing face.
“Haha very funny El. Now
cmon.” I opened and locked the door, and off we go.
Seeing her so excited makes me excited even more. I cannot wait for her
to meet my family.
Behind that excitement somehow
brings up that nervous feeling; I sure wish things would go well as we go home. I
called my mom beforehand that we’ll be there tomorrow afternoon.
We’re taking the train down at Penn station, since it’s cheaper. It’s
going to take about 19 hours, according to our ticket. 19 hours with Portia… This is going to be a long trip for us.
We left the New York around 9 in the morning, we’ll spend most of our time sleeping. we’ll be there just
as I mentioned.
The first few hours we’re wide awake especially Portia because of her
excitement. I talked about what’s going to happen during the holidays like thanksgiving, (except
my other plan), we played cards, we even played “heads up” which I liked the
most. We brought our own food and drinks from our dorm, not to spend some money in train food. Glad we’ve thought of that.
Hours have past, the sun is slowly setting. As the sun slowly sets, both of us somehow settles. We just stared at the window, not that it’s an awkward
moment, but we gaze at the view of the horizon seeing the clouds form, the color of the sky.
that Portia’s eyes are slowly closing, but she seems to fight it back to wake
up. Without thinking, I relied on my instincts; I held the side of her head, to
lean on to my shoulder for her to sleep.
In the first few seconds , I’m starting to think that it’s an awkward move…
As I looked at her head, she didn’t hesitate. Thank gawd. I just looked
at the window like everything’s cool.
“Thank you El.” she mutters, before her eyes slowly closes..
After hearing those words, the sound that I can hear was the beating
sound of my heart that is synchronizing to the rhythms of the train. I hope
that the rhythm of the train would slow down, not only for the beat, but also for
this moment would last longer.