ellen connection

This is Us- Chapter 7

As they handed off their menus to the waitress, Murtagh waited a little impatiently for her to get out of earshot then turned his gaze to Jamie and leaned in. 

Jamie said nothing as he reached across the table and handed Murtagh his phone. Claire texted the pictures from yesterday over to him before he’d even gotten in his own door last night. He knew each one by heart, having looked his fill already.

Jamie watched with anticipation as his godfather patted his pocket to retrieve his glasses, putting them on in preparation to scroll. 

With a start he realized he’d never see either parents need to reach for reading glasses. They’d both died before living enough years to have aged into gray hair.

With his daughter lacking grandparents on either side of her family, he found himself doubly grateful for the irascible old bugger.

Theirs had always been an unusual relationship. Jamie was just a lad when his Mam was killed but he remembered enough. 

He remembered the way both is Da and Murtagh had looked at Ellen when, for her 30th Birthday Party– a big event held the year before her death, with two hundred guests and fancy tables with flowers from the gardens pouring from urns and a live band set up under a tent on Lallybroch grounds– she’d come down the stairs wearing a formal red dress, silky with a deep décolletage and red high heels. It was like seeing sun coming out after a long, cold winter.

He knew his Da and godfather felt the same way for as he glanced over at them, they wore identical expressions of awe. No one greeted her as she turned the second floor landing and caught sight of the three of them standing there, both men stunned into silence.

That didn’t feel right to Jamie who called up enthusiastically, “Ye look beautiful, Mam!”

His mother blinked, then noticed Jamie decked out in full kilt standing to the side of his Da and smiled in delight.

“Why, thank ye kindly, good sir. Its nice to know ye have such gentlemanly manners, lad. They’ll work wonders for ye when you get out in the world.”

He could feel his face get a little hot. When Jamie was pleased his ears turned a bright pink and a flush rose up across his chest. Same thing happened to his Mam so she gave him an extra smile of recognition.

Jamie saw though that directly after, her eyes strayed back to Brian’s and stayed locked on his as he ascended the last steps to greet her. Their conversation was muffled, but Jamie didn’t want to hear it anyway, it would likely end in the two of them snogging, which was nothing he needed to see, again .

So he turned to Murtgah only to find the man still watching Ellen, his eyes had an expression in them that made his wame feel a bit funny. As an adult Jamie had understood the longing that he’d seen there that day, the futile hunger never quenched.  

He also remembered that it was Murtagh in the weeks and months after Ellen’s passing that had kept the remaining Fraser bodies and souls together. Brian had good days and bad ones after but Murtagh always seemed to be there when needed, getting the kids supper, to school and back, the little things here and there that kept the house a home when the grief overwhelmed Da.

In the ensuing years Jamie had wanted to ask his father about the odd relationship he and Murtagh shared, both loving the same woman and yet best friends, but he didn’t dare to do so. 

Nor could Jamie speak of such matters to Murtagh, either.  One of the solid pillars of the relationship between his father and godfather was that neither man discussed Murtagh’s feelings for Ellen.

How much did Ellen know of Murtagh’s feelings? Clearly Brian not only knew, he’d counted on Murtagh to stand as stalwart guardian over his children to see them safe as he came to terms with the loss.

To surface that thorny topic would cause reverberations that might lead to even more losses for the family. But Jamie had eyes, a heart and sensitive soul that knew what lay beneath the surface nevertheless.

For all the complexities and complications of their family, Murtagh had loved both his parents and in that loving helped he and Jenny keep their memories alive. Having him here to share the surprise of Faith was a deeply satisfying feeling and Jamie eagerly awaited his reaction.

Glasses firmly perched on his nose, Murtagh looked down as Jamie watched his face; he didn’t disappoint. Jamie knew he was looking at:

Jamie straightening Jane’s bonnet as Faith beamed her approval elicited a puzzled expression of inquiry from Murtagh.

The two of them playing side by side, Faith with an animated look of determination and Jamie trying to be subtle about staring at her from the corner of his eye. Both had the same habit of squeezing the right side of their mouths down in identical lines of concentration. Jamie watched as Murtagh registered the fact the picture had captured that unexpected moment of symmetry and his bushy eyebrows rose all the way up into his forehead.

Murtagh scrolled forward and chuckled seeing Faith’s gleeful joy as the tower toppled over, colorful blocks frozen in mid-tumble, Jamie scowling in faux-horror.

He grunted when he saw Faith reaching for a piece of carrot from Jamie’s fork staring hard at the close up image of the girl’s face and lingered over the obvious shape of her eyes.

Jamie couldn’t suppress his grin when he heard a quiet, “Ah!” from his godfather.

Knowing that he had arrived at the picture of Jamie holding Faith in his lap reading her favorite story. Any lingering doubts Murtagh had were dispatched. In that image, looking at them head on, her face directly in front and close to his allowed for easy comparison; the shared Fraser features were unmistakeable.

Murtagh sighed as he looked at the last one, Jamie caught completely unaware tucking his daughter into bed. Not much of her was visible, just her curls exploding on her purple pillow as he kissed her cheek, with her wee hand patting the scruff of his face.  

Whatever Murtagh had been expecting, this wasn’t it. Surprise was not quite the word. As he handed Jamie back his phone, Jamie saw Murtagh’s cheeks were damp. But his smile was huge and the delighted twinkle in his eye warmed Jamie’s heart.

Jamie had always been the child of his heart, the one most like Ellen in looks and temperament. Murtagh found himself increasingly grateful as the years passed for the connection. 

If Ellen couldn’t give him the one thing he’d wanted from her (the moment her eyes met Brian’s, she longer had it to give), in the end, she’d given him something perhaps even more precious. Murtagh found he didn’t begrudge the trade, for all that he’d had no choice in the matter anyway.

Murtagh looked Jamie over, it was impossible to look into his face and not see Ellen’s eyes staring out at him. But for all that Jamie was his mother’s son, a fair bit of Fraser was in him, too. The reservoir of strength that lay in him, the sense of duty and loyalty that had been shaped by his father.

The sharp jolt of their loss had worn away but Murtagh found it was still with him, perhaps more rather than less as the years passed. He and Brian had managed to bridge the divide that threatened when, as a giddy young man fresh from from his first semester at university, he’d brought Miss Ellen MacKenzie home to Fraser lands to meet his folks during a break at the Edinburgh College of Fine Arts.

They’d been in the same Into to Form class. The first day they’d walked in to discover a nude model standing in the middle of the studio without so much as a by-your-leave. Instructed to find an open canvass and begin, Murtagh had been gobsmacked, trying hard to look at anything other than the model’s puckered nipples, big as shillings, staring straight at him.

He heard a snicker, a little mix of naughty and genuine amusement and raised his head. That’s all it took, one glance at her fiery mane and deep blue eyes, crinkling with embarrassed laughter over the top of a easel. He’d fallen instantly in love.

They’d been seeing one another, but not wanting to appear foolishly impulsive, he’d never told her how he felt. He’d played it cool, casual. The fall break was only a couple of days, too short for her to make the long journey back to the home she shared with her two brothers, so he’d invited her to come home with him. He was excited to show her the glens and hills of Broch Mordha, the color palette that had inspired his artistic roots in the first place.

The crisp fall air beckoned and they’d gone out for a walk over bramble and bush where they’d been spotted by Brian Fraser, out riding to check on the coos in the far field. He cut quite a fine figure, did Mr. Fraser, atop that pure white beast.  

Her head came up just as he was about to dismount. Distracted by her arresting looks, he’d been thrown off his horse and dumped unceremoniously into the mud at her feet.

She burst into laughter, but it wasn’t unkind. Brian replayed the last couple of minutes in his own mind knowing full well he’d been showing off, riding Donas to impress and had just made a cake of it. He couldn’t help but join her, his rueful barks of amusement filling the air.

Unfortunately for Murtagh, Ellen had taken one look at Brian’s chagrined smile and fallen instantly in love. The spark between them almost a tangible object spinning through the air.

Murtagh knew it was a wonderfully romantic story, but the pain of it not being about him was an aching wound, even years after her passing.

Brian had proposed to Ellen just before Hogmanay, she was still only 18, marrying him meant leaving University. Yet both Ellen and Brian knew from the second they met nothing else would do. 

So they persisted over the vociferous objections of her older brothers and Brian’s father, who (disgustingly) met Ellen and decided he wanted her for himself. Strange man, Simon Lovat.

Brian and Ellen were thus left on their own, no family on either side to smooth the way for the couple. Brian must have had a sense that there would be trouble for them. Perhaps that was why he’d come to see Murtagh before he’d even proposed. 

A sign of respect, Murtagh knew, and the only time Brian had ever acknowledged what lay between them.

“I ken I’m asking something of ye that I’m no’ so sure I’d be prepared to give ye had it gone the other way, but would you stand wi’ me, be my best man?”

Torn between wanting to tell him to go fuck himself and fear of what his life might become without Ellen MacKenzie in it, Murtagh took a deep breath and reconciled himself to the inevitable. 

It gave him some comfort knowing how deeply Brian had loved her, that and standing godfather to their bairns. A different kind of creation maybe but there was a true artistry in it for all that.

Murtagh was startled out of his reverie by a sharp noise from Jamie, clearly intended as an invitation to be nosy. He waited until their food had been laid before them and started in.

“I take it ye didna know about the wee lassie?” Jamie shook his head. “Did ye date the mother for awhile? Where did the two of you meet?”

Jamie filled him in on the details of his afternoon and evening. He mentioned Claire’s name as often as Faith’s, and Murtagh consciously made an effort to keep a knowing grin off his face.

“What’s to be done then?” He asked and Jamie understood what he meant.

“For now Claire suggested that we no’ make a formal schedule but bid me to come when I can. I’ve offered to walk them over to the daycare at the hospital in the morning so I can meet the staff and have my contact information added to Faith’s file. She, that is Claire, is working late so I can pick Faith up in the afternoon and drop her off at Claire’s and meet her sitter, Mrs. Crooke. This weekend Claire asked if I’d accompany them on  a picnic in the park, simple stuff, really. Did I tell ye she can count to twenty?” That set him off again on a litany of Faith-related accomplishments.  

Murtagh smiled to himself. He had known the Fraser siblings all their lives. More importantly though, he knew the man and woman that had raised them.

Murtagh took in the body language, recalled the last snap in the series and the look of desperate longing in Jamie’s face as he kissed his bairn good night, the quiet excitement and pulse of energy that thrummed through his body when, like now, he spoke of Faith and of Claire and he understood what Jamie couldn’t yet articulate.

He knew very well that once a Fraser gave his or her heart, it was irrevocable. Brian and Ellen moved mountains and defied both their families to be together. Jenny had known almost from the moment she met Ian that he was hers– no matter that they were bairns themselves.

Whether because of the moral code with which he was raised or due to genuine desire, Jamie Fraser wasn’t about to give up the family he never knew existed, not now. He had found them, and he was going to keep them.

“My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it’s missing, and what’s there stinks.” -Joan Rivers

Okay, so most of you won’t care about this, but I feel like the above quote really describes Dory before she met Marlin. I mean, think about it: she can’t remember anything, she lost her family, and she’s just sort of aimlessly wandering throughout the ocean.

But. THEN. 

This quote reminded me of Swiss Cheese, obviously. So, I was curious as to how Swiss cheese was made—and what exactly causes those holes in the cheese.


I discovered that there is a certain bacterial culture specific to Swiss cheese that causes air pockets to bubble up and form, causing the holes in the cheese.


P. Shermani 

I know. Who knew there was this connection between Dory and Swiss cheese?

The Joan Rivers quote equates the holes in the Swiss cheese as to what is missing in her life. But, P. Shermani is what causes these holes, and P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney is one of the only things Dory can remember.

Maybe what is missing is what you need to remember, to hold on to. 

Hunted - Part 3

Word Count: 2304

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Language

Series Rewrite Masterlist

Gordon was setting up the tripwire across the back doorway. He came back to the room where he had Dean tied up and straddled a chair, right in front of Dean. “Come on, man.” Dean said. “I know Sam better than anyone. He’s got more of a conscience than I do, I mean, the guy feels guilty surfing the internet for porn.” Dean paused. “And Y/N…she’s nothing but good. She’s been through so much that could’ve turned her and it hasn’t. And it won’t.”

“Maybe you’re right…” Gordon said. “But one day they’re gonna be monsters.”

“How? Huh?” Dean demanded. “How’s a guy like Sam become a monster? How does a fucking Angel like Y/N become a monster?”

Keep reading

January 13


Imagine being turned on by Dean in a leather jacket by @angelkurenai
   (Title says it all - no explicit smut, just a lot of suggestion…)

The Contest by @ilostmyshoe-79
  You win a contest to be an extra on Supernatural. Jensen flirts with you, so you decide to flirt back…

Fascination by @its-my-perky-nipples
   Dean catches a glimpse of one of your tattoos after a hunt. He’s fascinated by it, so you show him some others. Smut.

Need a Hero by @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid
   Alpha!Sam finds a case where Omegas have been killed.  When he goes on the hunt, he finds you, an Omega who has been a snack for a group of vampires for the past year.

Jealousy is a Blue-Eyed Monster by @splendidcas
   Misha is directing an episode where you and Jensen have a sex scene, and he gets a little jealous.

The Beast Inside by @whispersandwhiskerburn
   MoC!Dean told you to leave, saying he didn’t want to hurt you and that you should just get out. Now he’s found you again. The words sound right, he looks like Dean, but there’s an edge to him you don’t understand, even if it turns you on. It’s when you sleep with him that you get scared–while still a great lover, Dean is definitely not the same. You try to find out what is wrong, not knowing that Crowley is on Dean’s heels, wondering why he left…

Sexting Smut and Continuation Story by @whitmerule and @aria-lerendeair
   Gabriel sexts Sam in class.  Sam makes sure he’s punished for it.


Imagine being Jensen’s best friend by @bringmesomepie56
   (Title says it all)

Angeles by @impalaimagining
   Jared answers a fan’s question about the future of your relationship.

Sam: The God of Thunder by @winchester-smut
   Sam gets hit with a spell, causing him to think he is Thor and you are his beloved Jane. (Has slight smut in it as well, but it’s more fluffy than smut.  Just be wary if you don’t do smut!)

Bendy by @writingbeautifulmen
   Sam’s curious about why the reader does yoga everyday.


Style by @d-s-winchester
   Complicated. That was the only word that would accurately describe Ashley and Misha’s relationship. After a bad breakup they still have the occasional hookup whenever they’re in the same city. They’re both clearly still in love with each other but refuse to admit it and that just makes everything even more, well…complicated. 

Yellow by @cocklesheadboop (Elizabeth1985 on AO3)
   Life had always been rough for long-time New Yorker, Castiel Haven. And when he ratted out his mob boss father, the rest of his horrific family, and about a half-dozen cops, he knew life wasn’t about to get better. Especially not when the FBI carted him off to the middle of nowhere, North Carolina. But he sure as hell didn’t expect the biggest complication to be a small-town brazen mechanic with a tenacious sex drive named Dean Winchester.  One of them never lies. One of them never tells the truth. And both of them have no fucking clue what it means to love someone.

You Never Can Tell by @girl-next-door-writes
   Spending the summer as a camp councilor seemed like fun but between the guy you had been talking to online for the past three months and the tall, shy cute lifeguard things could be getting a little complicated.

Real Slick Dean by trilliath (on AO3)
   There’s a new alpha enhancer drug “Rutter” on the streets that gets used at “exclusive parties” for the worst purposes. Detective Castiel Novak and his partner Balthazar work hard to put a stop to it and other sex crimes in their work as Special Victim’s top detectives.  Ellen Harvelle’s Roadhouse is both a bar and a refuge for unmated Omegas. The Roadhouse gives Omegas the opportunity have their heats in peace and, if they so desire, even sell an ‘exclusive supply of high-grade slick for the unmated Alpha on the go!’.  Castiel is just such an Alpha, career oriented and having no time for casual sex or potential mates. He’s a regular customer who only buys donor D347’s slick. He’s also a family friend and advocate who helps Omegas in need get connected with Ellen.  It’s all fine until one night after a difficult bust he brings Ellen a new Omega about to have her first heat. What Alpha Castiel doesn’t realize is that he’s been over-dosed with Rutter during the fight and is about to go into a rut so bad he may die. And if that weren’t enough to kill him, the embarrassment he’s about to feel will, because he’s about to meet donor D347 face to face and neither of them are prepared for what’s going to happen.


Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family show. No, no! We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm heterosexist media emergency here! We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest fandom since Effie White sang circles around Deena fucking Jones! And when Snow squeezes her fat white ass down in that corner booth in Granny’s in two weeks, she’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the Enchanted Forest! (x), (x)

The Final Countdown.

Ellen its almost over, our time is nearly done

We’ve spent hours weeks and days

And yes, it’s been a lot of fun.

But one thing Is still missing

Despite seeing our goal through and through.

And that missing puzzle piece, 

Its short, its blonde,its you.

Were not trying to sound desperate,

Though it might look like that at first. 

We want you to know were ready,

Season 9? Yes, we have rehearsed.

We know how we would enter,

We know the angles of our dance.

All we need from you Ellen,

Is just one single chance. 

We’ve sent smoke signals and a bird;

Not to mention, we met Gary Ablett too.

So if you’ve heard our message,

We would love ANYTHING  from you

Were at the final stretch now,

Yes, We are LA bound.

Prepare yourself, the next 7 days

Its the Ellen connection count down. 

Top 10 Novelizations That Are Actually Worth Reading

If someone turns a book into a movie, no one bats an eye. It’s such an accepted part of the artistic world that of the nine films nominated for best Picture at the last Academy Awards, six of them were based on previously written works. However, turning a movie into a book is usually frowned upon quite deeply. Partly it’s because the cheap paperbacks are rushed out by hacks so the studio can make a few extra merchandising dollars, and part of it is because it usually feels as if the movie is trying to fake some kind of greater artistic legitimacy with the weight of the printed page.

We’re addicted to these novelizations, and have dozens of them. They get their own section at Half-Price Books and it’s rare for us not to walk out with at least on per trip. Today we salute these maligned creatures of literature.

10. Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Chosen by Nancy HolderBuffy, like Star Wars, suffers from a glut of bad books trying to keep alive something great that inarguably went to its final rest long ago. Really, between some of the novels they’ve put out and Joss Whedon’s ridiculous excuse to live out sexual fantasies with his female stars in comic book form, we’re almost to the point where we deny ever watching the show.

One bright spot for the books, though, was the entire last season condensed into a single, Atlas Shrugged-sized novel. The last season was nowhere near as good as the third or fifth ones, but it’s a fair read that lays out much of the Buffyverse in clear, concise bits.

9. My Girl by Laurice Elehwany This is on here merely for having the balls to exist. The film where our childhood self fell head over heels hopelessly in love with Anna Chlumsky was actually based on a novel called Taste of Blackberries by Doris Buchanan Smith. Rather than just slapping the movie poster on the cover of the original book and saying, “The novel that inspired the hit movie,” they actually had someone rewrite the damn thing to better match the film adaptation. Also, a look at the Amazon comments reveals that apparently no one knows this was a movie.

8. Total Recall by Piers Anthony On a similar note, brilliant sci-fi author Piers Anthony was given the job to adapt Total Recall to novel form. He does a really bang-up job, it’s a perfectly wonderful adventure that bears the quality of his original work… but again, it was a movie already based on a book, the short story “We Can Remember it for You Wholesale” by Philip K. Dick. Our theory is that stuff like this happens because of some weird desire of Hollywood to deny that Philip K. Dick ever existed, but still make millions of dollars off his work. 7. Orca by Arthur HerzogOrca was panned as a film when it came out because people called it a rip-off of Jaws, which is a fair argument that doesn’t bring up that Orca is still a pretty good nature-gone-mad scarefest. The weird thing is… not only is the novelization good, we think it’s better than the book Jaws was based on. A lot of the stupid crap that they cut out of the film version of Jaws like the mafia connection and Ellen Brody boinking Hooper kind of bogs down the book. By contrast, Orca is a lightening fast pulp tale that has nothing but adventure and loads of blood.

6. Gremlins by George Gipe When you think about the movie Gremlins for a second, it doesn’t make any sense in the slightest. Nothing even remotely resembling an explanation for Mogwai or their evil mutated forms ever shows up in either film. If water was the main reproductive element for a species on a planet that is covered in the stuff, why aren’t we neck deep in Gizmos?

Well, Gipe laid out the fact that the species was actually alien in origin, and even gave the reader insight into the Gremlin mindset with conversations between Gizmo and Stripe. We won’t say it gives a lot of depth to the story, it’s still just a little Christmas horror tale, but it does go to some lengths to rationalize something that is a solid ten on the Huh? scale.

5. The Death and Life of Superman by Roger Stern Novelizations aren’t just limited to movies of course, but adapting a comic book where you can just show people guys in tights punching other guys in tights seems weird. Most of the time it is, but Roger Stern put together an absolutely enthralling account of the death of Superman, the war between his successors, and his ultimate return.

Though almost none of the stories in the book are considered canon anymore, it’s still chocked full of all kinds of back stories and mythology. Whereas in a comic space limits you to reference another issue when a point that a reader might be lost comes up, Stern goes full-on exposition in a way that resembles nothing so much as Tolkien’s Silmarillion.

4. Vampyres by Tim Greaves Back in 1974, José Ramón Larraz made a softcore lesbian vampire flick about two immortal women who lured men to their castle in order to kill them in blood orgies. The only reason we’d ever heard of it was because it was filmed at the Oakley Court, the location where they shot Rocky Horror.

Well, it made an impression on Tim Greaves because he set out of his own volition to write a novelization almost 30 years later. If possible, the book is positively x-rated, short, and one of the best vampire novels we’ve ever read.

3. Mortal Kombat by Jeff Rovin You might not expect much out of a novelization of a video game, but we’ve mentioned time and time again how Jeff Rovin took one of video game history’s most famous mythologies and actually made it ten times better. Rather than having to win a certain number of tournaments, the Mortal Kombat contest is actually a ruse to use the souls of great warriors to open a portal to Outworld. Baraka gets to live up to his name and serves as a high priest to Shao Kahn.

Sure, there are some changes that might be hard to deal with. Scorpion is actually his son sharing his body with his father’s soul in order to reap revenge on Sub-Zero. The roles of Liu Kang as a monk and Kung Lao as a member of the White Lotus are reversed, but otherwise we really wish that Ed Boon and John Tobias had taken their cues from Rovin as far as the direction they should head storywise. At the very east, he might’ve made a good consultant for the game series.

2. Star Wars by Alan Dean Foster Brief story, we didn’t see Star Wars until we were a teenager, but we’d seen Empire and Jedi a hundred times. Our dad had managed to record the second and third movies on VHS, but had missed the first one. That’s OK, we had the book.

So, when people were watching Jabba confront Han at Mos Eisley and learning of the awesome mustache that was Biggs Darklighter, we’d already seen it in our heads because the novel laid it out with all the brilliance of one of the finest minds in sci fi (Though it was George Lucas’s name on the cover Foster was the man behind it). Even better, Foster took unused ideas and crafted the non-canon, but really freakin’ good Star Wars sequel Splinter of the Mind’s Eye that is even more fully his. Both are highly recommended.

1. Alien by Alan Dean Foster It may seem biased to give Foster the top two slots in the list, but he totally deserves it. His novelization of Alien is the only entry on this list that actually tops the movie that birthed it. Considering that Alien remains one of the most powerful and influential sci fi and horror films ever made, that is saying something.

Like with Star Wars, Foster included a wealth of deleted scenes seamlessly into the novel, and also explored the nature of the stasis tubes and dozens of other minor bits of incidental wonder. We’ve read this book to tatters, and only watched the movie four or five times. That should give you an indication of just how talented Alan Dean Foster is.

Jef Rouner of The Houston Press gives his Top 10 novelizations.