eli james

left the door ajar;

 starbucks social media / muggle au

“sirius was a movie extra once and thinks he’s famous and won’t let it go”

they’re all about 20 n share a flat together. 

2.2k words. 


sirius black to james potter: jim 

sirius black: no ones like my tweet yet 

james potter: it’s been 5 mins 

sirius black: exactly 

sirius black: it’s been 5 mins 

james potter: ur not famous padfoot 

sirius black: what r u talking abt prongsie 

sirius black: ofc i am 

james potter: u HAD 2 SECONDS OF SCREEN TIME 

sirius black: on a big blockbuster film 

sirius black: and i looked rlly hot 

james potter: ok ur hair did look good that day 

james potter: but S T I L L 


sirius black to remus lupin: lupin: moony 

sirius black: he still doesn’t believe i’m famous 

remus lupin: lupin: because you’re not 

sirius black: HOW DARE U 

sirius black: SAY SUCH THINGS 

sirius black: MY AGENT WILL HEAR ABT THIS 

remus lupin: lupin: you don’t have an agent 

sirius black: WEL IM GONNA GET ONE 

sirius black: IN THE MEANTIME 

sirius black: NO COOKIES 4 U 

remus lupin: lupin: pete makes the cookies though 

sirius black: IDC NO COOKIES 4 U 


sirius black to don’t give prongs or moony any cookies pete: I MEAN IT 

remus lupin: sirius 

remus lupin: stop 

james potter: u were in like. 5 frames 

james potter: of ppz2

james potter: and u looked like cap'n feathersword 

sirius black: WHO TF 

james potter: idk he’s from some australian show 

peter pettigrew: jim ur fucked 

james potter: so’s pads 

peter pettigrew: tru 

sirius black: WHAT DO U MEAN 

sirius black: I HAVE 1009 FOLLOWERS NOW 

james potter: so

james potter: remus has 4000

sirius black: WAIT MOONY 

sirius black: H O W 

remus lupin: i talk about books a lot. 

remus lupin: and have honest opinions 

james potter: lmao

peter pettigrew: how is the guy who talks abt books more famous than u pads

remus lupin: shut up pete 

sirius black: YA STFU PETE 

remus lupin: you too Sirius

sirius black: naH 


sirius black to james potter: so like

sirius black: theoretically

sirius black: if I wasn’t famous

sirius black: would u still buy me yoghurt

james potter: obvs

sirius black: even tho im famous ofc

james potter: i’m always gonna be responsible for buying the yoghurt padfoot

sirius black: this is tru

james potter: also just a thought

james potter: 2 seconds

sirius black: NO

james potter: doesn’t make u famous

sirius black: IM NOT LISTENING

sirius black: UR ARGUMENTS R INVALID

james potter: UR IN DENIAL

sirius black: THERES NOTHIN TO BE IN DENIAL ABT PRONGSIE

james potter: PADFOOT

james potter: UR

james potter: NOT

james potter: F A M O U S

sirius black: JAMES

sirius black: F L E A M O N T

sirius black: POTTER

sirius black: DO U WANT TO BE A BOTTOM FOREVER

james potter: WTF NO

james potter: OFC NOT

sirius black: WEL THEN

sirius black: STFU

james potter: …..

james potter: i still think ur in denial

sirius black has blocked james potter.


james potter to remus lupin:

remus lupin: Im not gonna fix it prongs

james potter: BuT

james potter: but he saID

remus lupin: I don’t even want to know what he said

james potter: YES U DO

remus lupin: No I don’t

remus lupin: Either way

remus lupin: Buy him yoghurt

remus lupin: Get pete to make him more cookies

remus lupin:And convince him hes not famous

remus lupin: Im going to bed

james potter: MOONY

james potter: DON’T TURN UR PHONE OFF

james potter: THIS IS A CRISIS

james potter: THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IVE BEEN BLOCKED

james potter: SINCE THE,,

james potter: INCIDENT OF SIXTH FORM

james potter: MOOOOOONNNY


sirius black has unblocked james potter.

james potter: Well

james potter: LoOK WHOS COME CRAWLIN BACK

sirius black: I want yoghurt

james potter: r u sure that’s all u want

sirius black: no

sirius black: cookies 2

james potter: ur impossible to flirt w

james potter: its like im talkin to a brick wall

james potter: oh wait

sirius black: ha ha ha

sirius black: i will kiss u

sirius black: KILL U

james potter: ok


sirius black: rems

sirius black: moo ny

sirius black: moons

sirius black: moon moon

remus lupin: I told you not to call me that

sirius black: ah

sirius black: well it got ur attention didn’t it

remus lupin: prick

sirius black: ya

remus lupin: anyway

remus lupin: lupin: what do you want

sirius black: my coffee

remus lupin: since when is it my responsibility to get your coffee

sirius black: since i became a world class actor

remus lupin: omfg

remus lupin: padfoot

remus lupin: shut

remus lupin: the

remus lupin: actual

remus lupin: fuck

remus lupin: up

sirius black: how abt

sirius black: n o

remus lupin: little bitch

sirius black: says u

remus lupin: im telling james

sirius black: what will that do lma o

remus lupin: I could get him to stop your yoghurt supply padfoot

sirius black: U WOULDNT

remus lupin: oh I would

remus lupin: so

sirius black: fine


james potter: to ban Sirius from youghurt 2k17 (operation padfoot isn’t famous): you don’t actually want me to ban him from yoghurt do u

james potter: cuz i will

james potter: if it makes this stop

peter pettigrew: I agree

peter pettigrew: its gone to fart

peter pettigrew: FAR**

james potter: LMAO PETE

peter pettigrew: stfu

remus lupin: what an unfortunate mistake

peter pettigrew: moony pls don’t join in too

remus lupin: too late my friend

peter pettigrew: ANYWAY 

peter pettigrew: HOW DO WE GET HIM TO STOP

james potter: I have an idea

james potter: but ur both gonna hate me

james potter: and it may make things worse

peter pettigrew: whats the worst I could happen

peter pettigrew: god did I jinx it

remus lupin: lupin: honestly im up for anything


 james potter to sirius black: u better lov me later

sirius black: y

james potter: ull see

sirius black: ;)


remus lupin: lupin: to codename: the dog isn’t lassie: so how did it go

james potter: my dad knows a guy

james potter: and there’s auditions comin up

james potter: but I’ll need more than that *tiny* bi t of footage to pass as a a pre-audition tape

peter pettigrew: stalk his vines

james potter: omg no thatll never work  

remus lupin: you said its comedy

james potter: tru but

james potter: he has to actually get it

peter pettigrew: omg u actually want him to be famous don’t u

james potter: its not abt me

remus lupin: well he’s your

remus lupin: wait

remus lupin:what is he

remus lupin: your…

remus lupin: lover?????

peter pettigrew: that feels wrong

remus lupin:tell me about it

james potter: stfu both of u

james potter: he’s my Sirius

peter pettigrew: I GO T IT 

peter pettigrew: HES UR PET DOG

james potter: blocked


@siriusly_padfoot: @prongsie doesn’t think im famous get em boys!

@prongsie: bc ur not. idk how many times we have to tell u

@remuslupin: god Sirius, get it in your head

@siriusly_padfoot: @remuslupin nah, ur just wrong

@peter_pettigrew: Sirius I swear ur insane

@prongsie: pads if u don’t shut it ur not gettin any tonight

siriusly_padfoot: @prongsie no fair

@randomfollower90210: @siriusly_padfoot @prongsie omg oTP GOALS !!!


james potter to sirius black: u going anywhere on sat afternoon

sirius black: am i ever

james potter: that’s tru

james potter: meet me at the bar @ 2

james potter: bring ur resume, nice clothes and ur non asshole attitude

sirius black: y

sirius black: whats happenin

sirius black: im

james potter: um

james potter: well

james potter: dad n i got u an audition

sirius black: wot

james potter: so u can be famous

james potter: like fo r real

sirius black: aw bby

sirius black: imma murder u

james potter: fair

james potter: but u lov me right

sirius black: always


sirius black: to still don’t know who captain feathersword is james wtaf: were u lot in on this too

peter pettigrew: what answer is most appropriate

remus lupin: what pete is trying to say is

remus lupin: yes

peter pettigrew:

peter pettigrew: … yeah we were in on it

sirius black: k

james potter: y is the gc called that

sirius black: bc

peter pettigrew: bc JAMES TF


remus lupin: to sirius black: so are you pissed off at us

sirius black: a lil

sirius black: but only bc u didn’t believe me abt bein famous

sirius black: other than that im pumped

remus lupin: thank god

sirius black: dw moony

sirius black: ull be getting cold coffee for the next month

remus lupin: oh god

remus lupin:wait

remus lupin: you don’t make my coffee

sirius black: good time to start

sirius black: don’t u think

remus lupin:I hate you

sirius black: love u too diddums


 james potter: to sirius black: ull do fine

james potter: believe in u bro

james potter: is ur hand ok

sirius black: thx bby

sirius black: and ya  

james potter: go get em


 sirius black: to buttheads im already famous: fuck me sideways

james potter: later

james potter: howd it go

sirius black: not shit

sirius black: i don’t think

peter pettigrew: do u think they’ll need for convincing

peter pettigrew: i could make the casting director cookies in ur name

sirius black: i like ur thinkin pete

remus lupin: sirius no don’t bribe the casting director

remus lupin: there are better ways to get in

sirius black: how so

remus lupin: oh I don’t know

remus lupin: raw fuckin talent

james potter: which u have

james potter: I mean

james potter: wot

sirius black: BABE

remus lupin: stfu both of u

peter pettigrew: does anyone else feel grossed out

remus lupin: yea

sirius black removed peter pettigrew from the group chat

remus lupin: that was rude

james potter removed remus lupin from the group chat

james potter: where were we babe


 sirius black to get moony a gf 2k17:  i got the part

sirius black: I can see my follower counter goin up

ames potter: PADS IM SO PROUD 

remus lupin: PADFOOT

remus lupin: YOU HAVE TALENT 

remus lupin: THIS IS NEWS

peter pettigrew: Im makin a cake to celebrate

james potter: ill bring booze

peter pettigrew: lifesaver

sirius black: wot a way to celebrate

james potter: u lov us

james potter: mostly me

sirius black: tru


sirius black to fUCKIN PREMIERE BITCHES: theres so many ppl here

remus lupin: don’t tell me you’re shying away from fame now

peter pettigrew: bloody hell padfoot

sirius black: stfu wormtail, 

sirius black: and no moony 

sirius black: never

sirius black: theres just

sirius black: a lot

james potter: were w u mate

james potter: we got tux and everything 4 u

remus lupin: yea

remus lupin: we’re here

sirius black: i lov u guys

peter pettigrew: wot

peter pettigrew: rlly

sirius black: yea

sirius black: u finally believe im famous

james potter: oh fuck u

sirius black: do it later

remus lupin:they’re asking for pics pads get out there

sirius black: as u command


peter pettigrew to lads hes not a puppy anymore: hes actually famous now

peter pettigrew: did u see the girls screaming for him to take selfies w them

james potter: our bbys all grown up

remus lupin: you two are ridiculous

peter pettigrew: ur not even the least bit proud of him

remus lupin: lupin: what

remus lupin: of course I am

james potter: :’)


 REVIEW: “Queer Ditch Marsh”

No one thought this wacky comedy was going to be a success, but critics have been marvellously surprised at this box office hit. Queer Ditch Marsh, featuring “Bandon Banshee’s” Lily Evans, and newcomer Sirius Black, seems like its going to be a charming indie rom com, but its anything but. Its frankly ridiculous and zany, and I am paying to go a second time just for the great shot of Mr. Blacks Bare Arse.

Evans and Black work ever so well together (and their platonic chemistry is a delight to see on screen) and I cannot wait for more of them, and the drawling wit that occurs throughout this film is the cleverest dialogue in modern film. The director, Gilderoy Lockhart, should be exceptionally proud of himself.

It’s a shock to many, as Black never expected to get the role, having only a small role as an extra on Pride + Prejudice + Zombies 2 beforehand. He owes the discovery to a Mr. Fleamont Potter, a leading costume designer who did the costumes of PPZ2.

We are looking forward to more from Sirius Black. 4.5/5 stars from me.

Marlene McKinnon, daily prophet.


 james potter: to sirius black: {link: daily prophet article} have u seen this

james potter: ur famous

james potter: actually famous pads

sirius black: ive been tryna tell u

sirius black: u just wouldn’t listen

james potter: god ok

james potter: im proud of u

james potter: just so u know

sirius black: i do

sirius black: im greatful

sirius black: now buy me yoghurt

sirius black: prat

james potter: ok but buy me coffee

james potter: douche

sirius black: lov u ;)

james potter: lov u too


hope you enjoyed.