elf on the shelf

anonymous asked:

"The Toad Not Taken" The toad sat upon the shelf, looking like a sad infant elf. The pet store was empty- all taken but he, and the dead bee (on the windowsill) The boy weeps and weeps, for nobody does anything more but peeps, the toad just wants a home, some hope, but for now? He weeps on the shelf, loveless.

TAGGED BY :  stole from @stoneslept

RULES : tag 10 of your followers that you want to know better
TAGGING : anyone who wants to tbh


name :  Necalli | ネカリ (Nekari; ‘battle’)
nickname : Nec, mud man, ”nec-nec”, grouchy mcslouchy
zodiac sign :  Capricorn | Birthday is Jan 11th
gender : Male
favorite colour: ruby red | green | lavender | turquoise | gold
average hours of sleep: It varies, usually he just naps often, but when in a full on slumber he can sleep for about 14 hours.
last thing you googled: what is an “interns net”
height: 6′3″


name :  Elfy
nickname :  Elf | Elfo | Elfie | Elf on shelf | Elfucko | Necalli
zodiac sign:  Cancer
gender :  Non binary/gender fluid
favorite colour: Red | Mint Green | Brown/ivory | Anything pastel tbh
average hours of sleep : 5-6, i try to get 8+ as often as possible. I nap sometimes too.
last thing you googled : Dragon ball super episode 86
height :  5′2″

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The elf on the shelf made sure of that you see,
Always watching everything is he.
Unlike the three ghosts, there will be no Christmas penance,
For he is bringing Christmas vengeance.
Were you naughty or were you nice?
Did you engage in a secret vice?
What you did last Christmas, oh he knows;
As he creeps around on his tippie-toes.
Nighty-night, don’t fear the bed bugs bite,
but you may want to sleep with one eye open tonight.

OK so after thinking about this card….. A LOT I realized I have to have one. Not “oh man I’m so excited about a good planeswalker.” I mean “holy shit Nissa really is more than a green elf who I always considered a bottom shelf walker that I could forget about but is now on one of my favorite cards.”

This is like the 3rd color I’d expect to see her with (red is not ever gonna be in my head as a Nissa color until it happens never). Not only did I not expect it, but it works so damn well. Scry and elementals as lands make perfect sense for her in every way. That 0 though. Dude, play this late in game and get anything with that 0 then next turn pop the -6 (still not even necessary) to do what could be, in some cases, an automatic 10 damage. This woman, from this card alone, has stepped up to my #1 spot on my favorite walkers list. That means something since I didn’t have a list. SHE CREATED MY FAVORITE WALKERS LIST WITH THIS CARD.

I’ve been looking to build another Simic deck and now I refuse without AT LEAST one of these. I want two, but I can’t hold out hope for that. GAH IT’S SO GOOD

I'm sorry

I’m sorry I’m such a fuck up, I even keep telling myself I need to suck it the fuck up. I just wish everyone would shut up or blow up, unable to speak. You’re becoming a target rapidly, adding to my blasphemy like alchemy, except you don’t rebuild, tear the dirt leave it un tilled, dig a hole and leave it unfilled. You guided me around like I was blind, but then you corrupted me and I started to lose my mind, I couldn’t think for myself, feeling used like a house elf, sitting on my shelf, while you’re whipping my soul with a coat hanger, treating me like I’m a gangbanger, leave me in the streets and I’ll try to be an entertainer, and not to be hater, but I don’t wanna be a waiter and barely afford my school, wish I coulda had nice clothes to look cool and not act like a fool, or tool, or regardless because it’s taboo enough to be godless and without a goddess, don’t take it personal it’s just my process, living life making progress.

anonymous asked:

My skin is burning.... Sportacus getting to close to iron or touching iron and it hurts him since he's a elf?

Sportacus picked up the sculpture on Robbie’s shelf, not thinking anything of it, examining it from all angles. His hand was burning a little, but he figured that he must have caught an edge or something.

Until his hand started burning so badly that he cried out, bringing Robbie running.

“My skin is burning!” he cried, tears forming in his eyes.

“Shit! Drop that!” He shouted, not in anger, but fear. He dragged Sportacus over to the sink, running cold water over his hand.

“We have to keep your hand under this for about fifteen minutes.” Robbie took a deep breath. “The sculpture is wrought iron, and it acts like a chemical burn on elves.”

Sportacus had heard stories of how iron was on elves from the elders as a child, even from his brother in his own travels as a 10-Class hero, but had never experienced it firsthand. The stories understated the pain.

anonymous asked:

Pertaining to your previous Anon. Can you explain basketball? Christmas in October? And her barging on the red carpet? Those are the only three references I didn't get

Christmas in October is the staged Christmas this past year.  D&M hosted a little sign along in santa hats, D with is elf on the shelf onsie. Tried to pass it off as Family Christmas at the Crisses’  One major flaw (well several).  Blue Nail Polish.

Dear Evan Hansen. He was getting his photo taken, solo, on the RC.  She barged her way in. You even hear the photographer declaring she was coming united. They take a few stilted pics. And he pats her back and says “are we done yet.”

Basketball. Come back off anon and I will share more. But let’s say D&C play together.  Post Glee. 

lovely-little-jewel  asked:

"There's no way you're gonna be able to reach that."

 Pelle raised one eyebrow with a look that just reeked of sass. 

Pelle may have been shorter than the average elf but he wasn’t defenseless to the trials and tribulations of small stature. He’d learned plenty of ways of ways to get around it. Experience had proven tried and true that a staff could do more than fire spells. The elf lifted his staff knocking the jar of black ink off the high shelf in front of him and catching it in his free hand.

“You were saying?”