elevators are awkward

Magical baby finder!

Say it with me now everybody;

THE FORCE

IS NOT

a magical baby-finder what can tell Anakin Skywalker who his children are.

/BANGS ONE MILLION POTS AND PANS

THE FORCE

DOES NOT

WORK THAT WAY

Darth Vader doesn’t know who Luke is until he’s told the name of the Force sensitive pilot who destroyed the Death Star. He couldn’t even sense Luke until Luke actually used the Force in the Death Star trench. Untrained Force sensitives do not go PING PING PING on your handy dandy Force Radar, even less the “magical relationship and baby-finder” extra app that doesn’t exist.

Darth Vader can’t tell that Leia is his daughter because she isn’t trained and thus doesn’t ping in the Force and they have no personal relationship and Vader… doesn’t know who she is to him.

Darth Vader can’t tell Luke is his son before he’s told his name. Their handy dandy telepathic connection? Does not come into existence until AFTER Luke has been told who Vader is and thus is as aware of Vader (and who/what he is) and there’s enough of something like a “relationship” for the Force to ping off on.

The Force, friends, droids, galactic citizens of the Republic and Empire and various sundry criminal elements and Hutts,

is not

a

magical baby-finder

Imagine being scared of elevators. You always use the stairs, but there’s an emergency and you’re forced to use the elevator. Loki always found your avoidance of them strange, and now, seeing you freaked out, he finally realizes what’s going on and tries to comfort you in his own distant, awkward way. Warming up to him, you grab his hand in reassurance. After getting out, you apologize, and he tells you he didn’t mind. From then on you start riding the elevator more often, but only when he’s there with you to hold your hand.

The Signs As Cliches
  • Aries: The "Bar Fight" Cliche
  • Taurus: The "Strong Female is Always Underestimated" Cliche
  • Gemini: The "Bad Guy/Good Guy Comparison" Cliche
  • Cancer: The "Not Actually Dead But You Thought" Cliche
  • Leo: The "Kisses the Love Interest at the Last Second When There is Literally No Time for Kissing" Cliche
  • Virgo: The "Awkward Elevator Scene" Cliche
  • Libra: The "30 Second Makeover Scene and *gasp* She's Beautiful" Cliche
  • Scorpio: The "Disappear into the Fog" Cliche
  • Sagittarius: The "'Get A Hold Of Yourself!' *slaps*" Cliche
  • Capricorn: The "30 Second Bomb Takes 5 Minutes to Go Off" Cliche
  • Aquarius: The "Beaten the First Time but They Get Up and Beat the Enemy Even Though They're Weak" Cliche
  • Pisces: The "Popular Guy Falls for the Unpopular Girl or Vice Versa" Cliche

You are in a typical awkward elevator ride with a group of other people, suddenly a man says “So, I bet you are wondering why I’ve gathered you here” before hitting the emergency stop button.

  • alec: i've never done this before.
  • magnus: it's okay baby, we will take it by baby steps.
  • alec: deep throats 9 inches dick*
  • magnus: hOly sHit
  • magnus: fUUUCkkkk
  • magnus: you've ruined blow jobs for me.
  • magnus: you were the mozart of sucking dicks, where every other people is like awkward elevator music.
  • alec: blushes* i've never done this before.

anonymous asked:

Supposing there had been a pre-ESB incident in which Vader managed to Force-snatch Luke's hilt away and was holding it next to his own. Supposing Luke, being a touch too brash for his own good, said "give back my father's lightsaber" and Vader answered "which one?", how might Luke react?

Confusion, mostly. I mean, Luke’s not going to understand what Vader means by that. The only other lightsber Vader has on him is his OWN, after all, not Anakin Skywalker’s. Though, that said, that may get Luke to pay attention to the fact that those two lightsabers are very, very similar, aren’t they?

What the signs remind me of
  • Aries: Waking up late on a Saturday, adventuring new places, art and music festivals in small towns, warm July nights under the stars, clean and tidy bedrooms, unfinished drawings in expensive sketchbooks
  • Taurus: Boys with messy hair and big glasses, late night conversations where you open up to someone just a little too much, warm hugs and welcoming atmospheres, the smell of pavement after it has rained
  • Gemini: Catching fireflies in the darkest part of the night, climbing trees, the soft winds before a storm, hot chocolate in the summer, sleeping in new pajamas, magic shops with soothing music and sweet smells
  • Cancer: The first time on a boat, the smell of alcohol and candles, the sounds of waves at midnight on the beach, clear skies, waking up too early and rolling back over to finish sleeping, cold toes
  • Leo: Awkward elevator rides to the top floor of a hotel, viral videos of cats, tarot cards, street lights in the early morning, busy highways, lemon scented cleaning supplies, writing on windows wet with condensation
  • Virgo: Seeing a shooting star for the first time, coral reefs, the smell of nail polish, small and fluffy dogs that get really excited about people, loud conversations in public, listening to the radio in your room as you get ready
  • Libra: Those people you feel like you would have a lot in common with but never talk to, loud dubstep music, little doodles on the corners of your school notes, cuddling up with a large stuffed animal after a bad day
  • Scorpio: Making things out of clay and having a big mess to clean up after, root-beer floats, 8-bit music and pixel artwork, messy rooms littered with clothes and bottles, platonic cuddles, inside jokes
  • Sagittarius: Comic convention dates, making other people laugh and feel good while making others envious, maple syrup and homemade pancakes, stupid arguments, movie theater premiers, getting out of the house after being inside for days
  • Capricorn: The smell of pine needles, spotless homes, girls with short, messy hair who wake up early even when they don't need to, being too excited to sleep, butterscotch pudding, stargazing with close friends
  • Aquarius: Late nights online, singing others to sleep, hot teas that burn your tongue, random gifts, the temperature when the snow is just beginning to stick to the ground, sticky notes on mirrors
  • Pisces: Short but happy comics, headlights in the rain on an interstate, laughing in inappropriate moments, bubble baths, making your own clothes, wearing flip flops in the winter, coffee late at night
Past To Present [Jimin Smut]

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

The Punishment

“Which room would you like to book ma’am?” The receptionist asked me.

“Um, room 304 please.” I said.

“Just a moment please.” Said the receptionist in rather fake but polite tone, “Here is your key, ma’am…enjoy your stay.”

“Thank you” I said and walked towards the elevators.

The elevator was about to close, when suddenly I saw someone holding the doors, so I could get in…how nice of him, I thought as I got in the elevator.

As I turned around to thank this nice gentleman, he was already staring at me.

Feeling kind of intimated, I said a short thank you and turned away. Oh well I thought, creepy people everywhere.

“Which floor?” he said with a husky voice.

Damn, I thought. “Umm 7th.”

“Oh same as mine..” He said silently.

It was an awkward elevator ride, but oh well, as if I am ever going to see him, I said with a small laugh, which was rather a louder one. Shit, why am I so weird I thought..

After the door opened, I rushed out so I didn’t have to deal with the awkwardness anymore.

“Wait” he said

I turned around and he handed me the key, which I didn’t even realize I had dropped.

Keep reading

fanaticfangirl001  asked:

I feel silly asking this to anyone else but since we're buds. Do you think if Crowley's human significant other or wife wanted pizza. Do you think pizza places would deliver to Hell. Like think of the awkward elevator ride.

*pizza guy enters elevator*

*loudspeaker* “Welcome to Hell, please choose one of the following options.”

A list of buttons appears labelled: Main Lobby, The Cage, Hellhound Training, Soul Harvesting, King’s Quarters.

*pizza guy pushes the ‘King’s Quarters’ button*

The elevator starts going down as jazzy music plays through the speakers.

*half an hour later*

The doors open and the pizza guy steps out.

“IT’S BEEN A BLOODY HOUR SINCE I ORDERED. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN.”

anonymous asked:

On the flip side, what about if Luke's completely fine but in a the habitat of those force negating lizard creatures resulting in his father realising he can no longer sense him and having to physically go on a manhunt?

Wow, you’re out for blood when it comes to traumatising Vader about the well-being and whereabouts of his son, aren’t you?

Yeah, if, say, they’re on Myrkr and Luke ended up in the middle of the forest and all those ysalamiri… and ahem, the vronskr, who’d love to nom on a Force-sensitive victim, then Vader’s gonna have a fire lit under his armour-protected ass especially since he won’t be able to use the Force either if he goes in there.

And he will, of course. But fuck this planet and these creatures (maybe THIS is the place they should’ve blown up with the Death Star!!!).