Elsword: Aha! I’m 13 years old now, and that means I can do whatever the hell I want! Guess it’s time for me to run around Elrios and beat up random creatures!
Aisha: OMG Elsword stop being such a brat! C’mon, we’ve gotta retrieve the El!
Elsword: Be quiet, flatty. This game is named after me, so that makes me our leader! Therefore, you all have to follow my orders!
Aisha: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?
Rena: Stop arguing! I’m getting too old for this. Let’s go find Banthus.
Banthus: Haha you can’t catch me! (runs away with the El)
Lowe: Oh no, he escaped! You guys better go find him!
Elsword: Why can’t you just do that on your own…?
Lowe: Uh.. ‘cause I have things… and stuff… to do… ANYWAYS! GO GET HIM!
Hoffman: Hello there! Oh, you’re looking for Banthus? He’s over there!
(The Elgang beats him up)
Elsword: Well… that was easy…
Aisha: Yeah, but we still haven’t gotten the El back…
Rena: Looks like Wally has the El now. Let’s go get him!
(The Elgang destroys Wally No. 8)
Elsword: Wow, that was easy too…
Aisha: Crap! Wally got away!
Rena: He’s taken the El!
Hoffman: I bet Wally’s in Bethma now. Go find him!
Elsword: Ugh, we better get the El soon… This is getting annoying…
Stella: Hey, these Lizardmen are terrorizing the region! Please help us!
Elsword: But we’re looking for the El… Oh well, guess we should help out.
(The Elgang swiftly defeats the Lizardmen and returns them to normal)
Aisha: That was easy… I can’t believe these were the Lizardmen that were giving Bethma such a hard time…
Elsword: Yeah, I’m starting to notice a pattern here…
Rena: Look! Wally’s over there!
Elsword: Raahhhh!! Let’s get the El and end this quest once and for all!
(The Elgang destroys Wally No. 9)
Aisha: Yay, we did it! Oh shit, another ship is attacking us!
(Raven steals the El)
Raven: Muahahaha you’ll never take the El from me!
Elsword: FUCK!!! We have to go through ANOTHER region!?
Elsword: There you are!
Raven: Ah, you found me! No matter… I shall kill you all! Wait a minute… S-Seris??? Is that you!?
(The Elgang defeats Raven)
Elsword: Alright! Good job, Rena! You distracted him with your boobs long enough so we could stop him!
Aisha: (smacks Elsword) You idiot!!! This has nothing to do with her breasts!
Raven: Hey, can I join you guys?
Elsword: … sure, why not? By the way, where’d the El go?
Raven: Um… I don’t have it anymore…
Adel: Nasods are scary pong! Please destroy them pong!
Elsword: No! I am NOT going on some stupid side quest again!
Adel: They have the El pong!
Elsword: Okay, let’s go!
(After destroying a bunch of Nasods and going through Altera Core…)
Elsword: Well, that was easy… But hey! We finally have the El! Let’s go back to Ruben and return it!
Eve: (wakes up) … YOU MANIACS! YOU BLEW IT UP! AH, DAMN YOU! GOD DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!
Elsword: I wanna be your friend!
Eve: … okay <3
Raven: Hey, was there a robot version of me or something back there…?
Elsword: I don’t know, and I don’t care. Let’s go home.
Elsword: Okay, here’s the El! At last, I can relax at home and do nothing for the rest of my life… Surely, the townspeople will give me millions of ED as a reward for my awesomeness!
Allegro: Help! Demons!
Stella: Okay Elgang! Go get ‘em!
Elsword: … you’ve gotta be shitting me right now.
(The Elgang drives away the demons from Feita)
Eve: That was pretty easy…
Elsword: I know, right!? Why don’t these people just get their shit together and deal with their problems on their own!?
Ariel: The Velder Kingdom needs your help! They’re under attack!
Elsword: OH COME ON!!!
Raven: Hey Rena… soo…. are the two of us a thing… or…?
Rena: Umm… I’ll have to think about it…
Aisha: Ah! How romantic! I wish someone would confess to me someday…
Elsword: lol that’s never going to happen to you
Aisha: (slaps Elsword)
Eve: … human are so weird…
Vanessa: Oh thank god you’re here! We’ve had to retreat because the demons are too powerful!
(The Elgang drives away the demons from Velder)
Elsword: Too. Easy.
Elesis: Hey! Guess who’s back!
Elsword: Sis! It’s you! You’ve gotta help me. Everyone in Elrios has been asking us to do all these super-easy tasks! I just wanna go home and relax! But these stupid Velder Knights are so incompetent that they can’t even stop the nooby demon army!
Elesis: … you know I’m part of the Velder Knights, right?
Elsword: … u-uhh…
(Elesis slaps Elsword)
Aisha: lol I like your sister already, Elboy
Eve: Hey, who’s that over there!
Add: YAAAAHHHHH!!! (Attacks Eve and defeats her) Muahahaha… now you’re mine!
Elsword: Hey, get off of her, you creep! Shoo!
Add: Grrr, you may have won this time, but I will capture Eve, and I will get my hands on those Nasod codes! (flies away)
Elsword: What a weirdo… By the way, I didn’t know the word “code” could refer to boobs as well
Aisha: (slaps Elsword) STOP THINKING ABOUT BOOBS!!!
Vanessa: Good job, everyone! Now send this letter to Hamel!
Elsword: Why can’t you do it yourself!?
Elesis: Shut up and do what she says!
Penensio: Aw crap, demons are here too! Please stop them for us!
Rena: This has been, like, the third region infested with the demons…
Elsword: Yeah, and I thought we could just go home and relax after retrieving the El… Hmph.
Chung: Hello! I’m Chung, and my father was possessed by the demons! Please help me!
Aisha: Oh you poor thing! We’ll definitely help you out!
Chung: Thank you!
Elsword: Ugh, too many girls are joining our group… Now we have 5 girls and only 2 guys!
Raven: Yeah, it sucks…
Chung: B-but… I’m a guy…
(The Elgang gets to the Ancient Waterway)
Add: (saves Eve) Hehehe… behold, your savior!
Eve: Just because you saved me from Victor doesn’t mean I’m going to give you my codes…
Add: Fine. Well, can I at least join you guys so I can watch you 24/7?
Eve: … that’s a little creepy…
Elsword: Yes! Join us! We need to have more guys in our group!
Chung: But I’m a dude!
(The Elgang gets to the Halls of Water)
Chung: Ran!!! My name is Chung Seiker. You turned my father to evil. Prepare to die!
Ara: No, stop! He’s my brother!
Elsword: Oh crap! Another demon! Attack her!
Ara: Wait! I’m just a normal girl with a fox hairpin that contains a fox spirit that takes over my body from time to time!
(Everyone starts beating each other up)
Ran: Now’s my chance! (teleports away)
Chung and Ara: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Elsword: Well, I guess that’s that. Now I’m going home.
Chung and Ara: NO! YOU ARE GOING TO HELP US FIND RAN/AREN! NOW!
Elsword: More demons!? Are you serious!?
Emirate: Yeah, go get them for us, will ya?
Ara: Hey, how come Hamel is full of water while this place is completely dry?
Elsword: Who knows. Anyways, let’s get this over with…
(The Elgang defeats Karis)
Elsword: Okay, it’s finally over, right? It’s gotta be over now, right???
Lu and Ciel: Hey! Let’s all team up!
Elsword: Oh fine… you can join us. You two seem normal enough
Ciel: By the way, FLAT IS JUSTICE!
Aisha and Lu: (sniffles) Yes! This man speaks the truth!
Rena and Ara: (smack Ciel over and over again)
Eve and Elesis: …
Elsword: Hey Chung, why aren’t you cheering too?
Chung: I TOLD YOU ALREADY, I’M A GUY!
Ignia: Hey everyone! Let’s go defeat those demons together!
Elsword: Finally! Someone from town who’s willing to help us!
(Ignia betrays them)
Elsword: Never mind.
Elesis: Hey, it’s Scar! Let’s go get him!!!
(The Elgang defeats Scar)
Elesis: Check this out! I’m Super Saiyan!
Elsword: No one cares. Can we PLEASE just go home now!?!?
Ignia: Alrighty, you’ve gathered all six Priestesses! That means you get to go to Elysion!
Elsword: What? No! I don’t want to go to another region! Please no!!!
(The priestesses teleport the Elgang to Atlas Station)
Add: OMG NASODS!!! (Fangirl scream)
Yuno: Welcome to Atlas Station! Some of the Nasods here are acting up, can you please help me subdue them?
Yuno: (Ignoring Elsword) By the way, there’s a girl here who wants to join you
Rose: Hello, I’m Rose. I use a wide variety of guns and I can kick people too!
Rena, Eve, Chung, and Ciel: Copycat.
Elsword: Great, another girl… Oh well, we’ll need all the help we can get I suppose. So where do you come from?
Rose: Another dimension called DFO er, I mean, Empyrian!
Aisha: … okie dokie then.
(The Elgang goes through the first two dungeons)
Yuno: Ah, the Elysion Tower is kinda hard to navigate. I’ll tag along so I can guide you through!
Elsword: You better not betray us!!
(The Elgang reaches the boss stage)
Elsword:Wow, Yuno actually helped us. I can’t believe it.
Code Maya: Looks like it’s my turn to face you.
Elsword: Bring it!
(The Elgang defeats Maya)
Yuno: Great job, everyone! Let me call the elevator for us to reach the next sector
Code Maya: Traitor! (destroys the elevator controls)
Yuno: Oh no!! (transfers energy from himself into the elevator) G-goodbye… my friends… and good luck…
Elsword: NNNNOOOOOO!!! The one guy that was actually useful and legit tried to help!!!! WWHHYYYYYYYY!?!?