elephant-fresh

anonymous asked:

what skincare products would you recommend for dry, sensitive skin? x

If you want to know where the fresh oats thing came from:

Yes, this is apparently a real game! 

I tried looking up a different educational game from my childhood (with Wooly Mammoths or Elephants or something) and found this instead. The name was too weird to pass up, so I checked it out. Couldn’t find anything beyond a single video review. This one.

PS still trying to look up that Wooly Mammoth/Elephant Educational game, not necessarily about  Wooly Mammoths/Elephants.

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Satisfaction Brought It Back

This is a fic someone submitted to me to cheer me up, and it sure worked! Dean is totally a lion. If I was an animal, what would I be? It got me wondering… Enjoy and endless thanks to the writer! x

Title: Satisfaction Brought It Back
Author: anon
Rating: PG
Warning(s): desecration of a beloved vegetable mascot, not really much else, some violence, a little bit of swearing, reader-insert levels of AU, kinda fluffy
Summary: During a hunt, Dean is accidentally changed into an animal. And, of course, he couldn’t change into something manageable, like a dog. Dogs are domesticated. Dean, on the other hand, will never, under any circumstances, be a tame creature.
Characters/Pairing(s): Dean/Beth (reader)
Spoilers: Nope
Word Count: ~5,200
Disclaimer: SPN is not mine. I am not making any money. Like, even at the job I actually have—which does not involve writing for Supernatural—I’m not making money. :(
Author’s Notes: Written as a gift for spn-x-reader-fics.  This is stunningly hot off the presses, so you’ll probably find a typo or six. Hopefully that’s the worst of it.

*~*~*

Beth was starting to feel like she should’ve known this hunt would make no sense.

She was stuck at the local library with stacks of lore books poached out of the—frankly pathetic—mythology section on her left, and reams of newspapers and town records and historical documents in a moderately organized clutter to her right. In front of her were case notes and write-ups about their victims.

Sam had been the one to notice the spike in disappearances in this sleepy Minnesota town (seriously, it was really boring, somebody please stab her now), but from there… Well, the only thing they’d managed to agree on was that people were going missing. Which initially had Dean and Beth pointing out that that was very sad, but hardly counted as “their kind of weird,” until Sam mentioned that someone had gone missing and then turned up dead. Killed by an alligator. No zoos or aquariums or private owners had reported a missing alligator, either. So unless they were meant to believe that there was a wild alligator roaming central Minnesota…

Beth had shared an annoyed look with Dean at how smug Sam had been to drop that last piece of information. (Dean shared an annoyed look! With her! About Sam! …It was utterly ridiculous how much the tiniest interaction with him made her heart flutter.)

So they’d come to town, and they’d started looking into things, and of course people had been going missing, but apparently all kinds of weird animal sightings had also been happening. One of the cops investigating the first disappearance claimed he’d seen a crow at the victim’s house who had actually led him to a shoe the victim had apparently dropped. And crows were really smart animals, so Beth could buy that as far as it went. But then the next victim’s boyfriend had a ruby-throated hummingbird that he claimed had just showed up the day his girlfriend had gone missing. But Beth had watched this bird actually respond to some very carelessly given instructions, and hummingbirds were…not generally as smart as crows, to put it kindly. And then three kids at a local school swore up and down that the day their friend went missing, an elephant had taken to hiding out in the woods behind the school, and damned if she and Dean hadn’t actually found fresh elephant tracks (!!!) out behind the football team’s practice fields.

Because she and Dean had done some canvassing together. Which was completely normal for two paranormal investigators to do. And should, in no way, be interpreted through the lens that her raging crush (or completely-embarrassing, all-encompassing love, to give the emotion its true name) on the man wanted to use.

So, here she was, at the library, trying to figure out what in the hell she actually was supposed to be researching anyway. What on earth could make elephants appear in Minnesota? Or grant a hummingbird brains enough to understand the verbal instructions, “I left you lots of sugar-water in the kitchen. Let me talk to these folks, okay?” Or get a crow to help a police detective? And, more to the point, what could they possibly be hoping to accomplish with this kind of random animal wackiness?

She’d started hunting with the Winchesters since the Leviathan mess in 2011. Only a little at first, but more and more frequently as time went by. And out of all of those cases, this one was definitely the least logical. Honestly, when her phone started ringing, she was more than happy for the interruption.

“Hey, Sam,” Beth said, when she answered it.

“Hey, Beth. Is Dean around?”

Just to be sure, Beth glanced around the library. “Nope. I thought you said he was gonna go on a grocery run before joining me?” Apparently Dean had run out of beer, and this was a World-Ending Crisis™, so he’d demanded she and Sam give him their grocery lists and headed out to the closest store.

Sam nodded. “He was. Four hours ago.”

Beth glanced at the time on her phone. Sure enough, it was well into the late afternoon. “Oh, damn. I had no idea I’d been here so long!”

“And Dean’s still not there?” Sam asked.

“You don’t suppose he…went looking for some company?” Beth said.

“Not likely. He’s practically a monk these days,” Sam replied.

“I don’t think most monks drink as much Jack Daniel’s as he does, but you make a good point.”

It was true. Dean had started putting the brakes on the bars and the random hook-ups a couple years ago. Unless he’d been a lot more discreet than he had ever been before in his life, he hadn’t been with anyone—even for one night—for the past year. He was still Dean, of course. Still obsessed with the Impala, and still in love with anything alcoholic that could double for engine cleaner, quick to laugh at a bad joke or draw a gun on an enemy. He just, didn’t drink in the bars anymore. And he had given up the pick-up artist routine entirely.

Beth hadn’t quite figured out what was going on with him. And she wanted to. Oh, how she wanted…

Come on, girl, she chided herself. Now’s not a good time to be distracted by your crush. Focus.

“He’s not answering his cell,” Sam told her. “I’m starting to get worried.”

Beth nodded. “I’ll come back. My eyes are starting to glaze over anyway. Then we can find him together.”

“Okay. See you soon.”

Beth grabbed her case notes, stacked the rest of the mess neatly into two piles for the librarians who would have to re-shelve everything, and then left the library to clamber into her truck.

She deliberately drove by the grocery store nearest their motel, but she didn’t see the Impala anywhere. So, she punched up the address to the motel on her phone’s GPS and headed back towards Sam.

It was a good thing she did.

About halfway there—it was a roughly twenty-minute drive through mostly forested back roads—she spotted the Impala pulled off to the side of the road.

Beth pulled over immediately, punching on her emergency flashers and closing in behind the long, black car.

Dean’s beloved roadster looked to be untouched, but the man himself was nowhere to be found. And, alarmingly, the car was unlocked.

Beth snatched her phone out and called Sam as she slid into the driver’s seat.

Sam picked up immediately. “What is it? Did you find him?” he said, by way of greeting.

“I found the Impala, Sam. Dean isn’t in it,” Beth said.

“What? Where is he?”

“I don’t see him anywhere,” Beth replied. “The car is unlocked, and there’s no signs of a struggle. But…” She rummaged around in the glove compartment for a moment. “Dean’s gun is missing.”

“Blood?”

After briefly running her fingers along the steering wheel, behind the rear-view mirror, and along the seat adjusters and gear shifts—places a driver would have cause to touch—she said, “Not that I can find. If he had to abandon the car, I don’t think he was hurt when he did.”

Sam exhaled slowly.

Beth got out and closed the door to the car.

“There’s tracks leading away from the road, Sam.” She pulled her own gun and chambered a round. “I’m gonna see if I can follow him.”

Be careful,” Sam said. “If Dean was in trouble, whatever he was running from might still be out there.”

“Will do. I’ll call you if I find anything.” Beth hung up, turned the flashlight of her phone on, since it was starting to get dark, and held it out in her left hand. She laid her right hand, holding her gun, over her left and proceeded into the woods.

Beth hadn’t grown up a Hunter, like Dean and Sam. She had, however, grown up hunting. And while all that “three albino wolves came this way two weeks ago chasing a butterfly” crap was mostly for the movies, she could read trailsigns well enough to know that someone about Dean’s weight had gone into the woods, stumble-stepping until they had…vanished just as they reached a clearing.

Beth frowned, double-checked the trail to be sure she was right, and finally shifted her weight back on her heels.

“Huh. Okay, Dean. How’d you manage to disappear? And why?”

Much to her surprise, she was answered with a meow. It was a bigger and louder than she was used to hearing, but it was definitely a meow.

Beth lowered her gun, shining her flashlight around. “Is there a cat out here?”

Another meow.

She crouched. “Come on out, Cat. You can keep me company while I look for my friend.”

A cat melted from the trees and began slowly walking towards her. And the sight of it was absolutely terrifying. It was not a housecat, which Beth would’ve welcomed with open arms. Nor was it even a feral cat, which she would’ve been glad to keep company with.

It was a mountain lion. And it was staring at her with green, green, eyes that seemed a little bit hungry.

She snapped her gun back up, aiming straight between the animal’s eyes. The cat-lover in her would hate to shoot a mountain lion—and this one was a gorgeous, lean, muscled beast, too—but if the cougar attacked her, Beth was gonna blow it away no matter how pretty it was.

Much to her surprise, the mountain lion not only stopped, but actually rolled its eyes.

“Yeah, well, you’d point a gun at you too if you were me,” Beth retorted.

The big cat gave her a look that was amused, she would swear until the day she died it was.

“I don’t suppose I could convince you to just…go on your way and leave me alone?” Beth said, mostly to herself.

And then, much to her shock, the cougar shook its head.

Beth narrowed her eyes. “Okay. That’s odd. Are you an escapee? Do you have training from somewhere?” she mused.

The cat shook its head again. Now it looked annoyed and impatient. Figure it out, Sweetheart, it seemed to say.

“Take two steps backward?” she said, mostly just to see what happened.

The cougar looked even more irritated, but actually stepped back the requested two steps.

Beth lowered her gun in shock. “Okay, let’s try something more complicated. Sit down, lay down, roll over, stand back up, then balance on two feet.”

The cat glared at her.

Beth’s face fell. “Right. Good going, Beth. Supposed to be looking for Dean, and now you’re actually trying to talk to the animal that probably ate him,” she sighed. She looked back to the cougar in defeat.

Much to her surprise, the cat was now looking at her in a way that she could only label sympathetic. Then, unbelievably, impossibly, it sat down. Then laid down. In fact, while she watched in absolute astonishment, it finished out the whole sequence of commands she’d given it, ending by balancing precariously on one front foot and one back foot.

“Are you…understanding me?”

It nodded.

“Okay, going out on a limb, but you’re not really a mountain lion, are you?”

Head shake.

“You’re a person. A human being turned into a cat?”

Nod.

“Are you…? You’re not…?” Beth looked at the cat’s green eyes and finally said, “Are you Dean?”

Nod. Energetic, enthusiastic nod.

“Oh boy.” No wonder this mountain lion was so gorgeous. It was utterly unfair, but entirely predictable, that Dean would be almost preternaturally attractive even as a big cat.

Beth snapped her phone out and got on the phone to Sam immediately. By the time she’d managed to convince Sam that she hadn’t gone nuts, the mountain lion—Dean—had crossed the clearing and was standing right in front of her.

When she hung up, she looked at him. “Please don’t bite me,” she said.

Dean looked offended.

“Look, you’re an enormous cat, okay? I think I’m allowed to be a little nervous.”

In response, Dean licked her hand.

Beth snatched her hand back. “What the hell, Dean?”

Dean just looked smug.

It was easy enough to load Dean back into her truck to return to their motel. It was a feat of unparallelled stealth and logistical management to get Dean into his and Sam’s motel room without alerting the office manager to a mountain lion entering one of the guest rooms. And it was just plain frustrating going back with Sam to fetch the Impala.

But, finally, they were all back in their rooms (two rooms, thankfully with an adjoining door) and were able to talk. Once Beth told Sam how she’d found Dean (with Dean managing to get in appropriate asides via huffs and eye rolls whenever he deemed it necessary), Sam said, “Okay, so we’re clearly dealing with a witch here.”

Dean made a wheezing noise that sounded almost like he was choking before cutting himself off and looking supremely annoyed. Apparently mountain lion vocal cords were poorly suited to managing the laugh at his little sibling that Dean had probably been going for. All of which, if Beth let herself admit it, only made the image of a gorgeous mountain lion sitting in their aggressively cheerfully decorated motel room (Yellow! wallpaper with Blue! and Pink! and Purple! flowers on it—that somehow exactly matched the patterns on the bedspreads—clashed horrendously with blue-and-white plaid sheets and pillowcases. This room looked even worse than that one with the plaid wallpaper from that time they’d hunted Hestia.) even more hilarious.

Beth, very heroically if she did say so herself, did not laugh and managed to say, “You wanna run that one by us again?”

Dean rolled his eyes.

“We need a better way to communicate,” Sam sighed.

Dean just looked at both of them.

“Okay, Sam, you’d just said this was a witch for sure.”

And here, Dean started shaking his head.

“It wasn’t?” Sam asked.

Dean shrugged.

“Well what’s that supposed to mean?” Beth said. “Like, do you not know, or…?”

Dean had started nodding.

“You don’t know?” Sam said.

Nod.

“But you don’t think it’s a witch?” Beth guessed.

Nod.

She exchanged a look with Sam. “He has had good hunches before.”

Dean gave them an offended look. Of course I have good hunches, he practically said out loud.

Sam scowled. “If it’s not a witch, though, we’re back to the drawing board.”

So they started in researching some more. Sam began trawling through a vast sea of online resources he’d managed to acquire through the years while Beth started trying to figure out how the victims were all connected. Dean did his best to help her, and, although he was useless for laying out pictures or police reports, he did manage to—carefully—point out some commonalities from one victim to another. He and Beth ended up laying on the floor, pressed into one another’s sides, scribbling notes about the victims and how they might have all ended up as targets of the…whatever they were hunting.

Dean is laying up against your side! Beth’s brain kept screaming at her. Which would have been super-distracting if he weren’t a giant cat and they weren’t looking at police reports about possible kidnap victims that had been filed by terrified loved ones. As it was, it was just comforting. A long line of warm, furry body lay snug against her torso, the steady rise-and-fall of Dean’s chest feeling dependable and pleasant. It helped to keep her focused instead of horrified.

It was actually her analytical side that kept observing that Dean, even as a mountain lion, had chosen to lay right beside her, touching her, and seemed like he was 100% comfortable staying there for the whole case. That meant something, and part of her mind was just daring her to try and work out what. But, until they managed to figure out what had happened to these people, she was just going to say that it meant he trusted her. And that maybe, considering he’d been transmogrified into a cat, he needed some comforting too.

It was hours later, after they’d ordered pizza (and Beth had made another grocery store run to grab some honest-to-goodness steaks to feed to Dean), that Sam finally emerged triumphantly from an amazingly obscure website. “I think I’ve figured it out!”

Beth and Dean turned their heads together from their place on the floor.

“I think it may be a Green Man.”

Beth and Dean exchanged a look, both of them with furrowed brows. Which looked frighteningly ferocious on Dean’s mountain-lion-face.

Beth turned back to Sam. “You mean like the Jolly Green Giant?”

“Actually, he’s based on the same legends. Which, I guess, explains why he’s here. There’s a big statue of the Jolly Green Giant in Blue Earth. Every year, they have multiple celebrations involving the statue. Which, I guess, if you’re a pagan legend, starved for attention…”

“Counts as worship,” Beth sighed, rolling her eyes. In unison with Dean, who offered her a toothy cat-grin.

Sam smiled. “Yeah, there’s all kinds of lore about a green man, or green men, who can control nature and call forth animals. Cernunnos, Herne the Hunter… They’re called a ‘lord of the animals,’ and apparently this is the basis for the ‘Horned God’ in Pagan religion,” Sam said.

“So, they don’t just call forth actual animals, then?” Beth said. “They can turn people into animals.”

“Into your animal soul,” Sam agreed with a nod.

“And Dean’s inner beast takes the form of a mountain lion. Of course it does,” Beth sighed, letting her face drop to the cheap, thin, ugly motel carpetting. And how was it she was only just now noticing that it was blue-and-white plaid to match the bedsheets? How the hell had this motel managed to match wallpaper to comforters and carpets to sheets?

To her very great surprise, Dean dropped his head down over hers. He rested his chin on her neck and purred against her, a deep rumbling noise that cut through the tension headache that had started to build behind her eyes and made Beth instantly feel better.

Ugly, totally weird plaid carpeting notwithstanding.

When she turned her head—careful not to dislodge Dean from above her—she only saw Sam giving them a speculative look.

What Sam chose to say out loud, however, was “Apparently all his magic will be dispelled with his death. There’s a ritual to summon the Green Man. But it has to be performed in a place of victory for the wild, and it has to be performed at sunrise.”

“Do we know how to kill him?” Beth asked. “'Cause otherwise, we’ll just summon a guy who will get pissed and change us into bees or something.”

“Cut off his horns,” Sam said. “They’re the source of his power.”

“Great. So now we just need a place of ’wild victory,’” Beth said, making finger quotes with her hand.

“Whatever that means,” Sam sighed, looking down.

Beth thought for a moment. “You know, I used to go hiking at this canyon near my house. The road we would take to get there would dead end in this abandoned amusement park. And it was cool, but super eerie to see all these rides with rusty paint that had, like flowers growing out of the buckets in a ferris wheel. Or a tree trunk straight through the middle of a tilt-o-whirl. The kudzu had nearly pulled the front gates completely down.” She shrugged. “I always figured that nature had won that fight.”

Sam nodded. “That…actually sounds about right.”

It was another hour of scouring Google Maps before Dean actually managed to spot and draw their attention (by touching his nose to Sam’s laptop screen, which left a hilarious wet-nose-print that Beth could not stop giggling over) to an abandoned gas station off of a service road that was a crumbling, rusty mess. The pumps and the awning over them were still standing, but the ground around them was mostly a grassy field.

All that was left was to go get some rest before summoning the Green Man.

Beth showered in the mornings, so she went into her room, leaving the door open (standard policy, since everyone wanted to be able to get to everyone else quick in case of emergencies) and changed into a tank top and pajama pants in the bathroom. Then she padded back out to the bed and crawled in, hoping to get some sleep.

And she tossed, and turned, and fretted, and worried, and could not stay still. It was going to drive her insane. She was actually about to get up when a warm weight settled on to the bed next to her.

Beth reached out and felt a furred flank next to her. “Dean! Get back in your bed!”

Dean looked at her, his green cat’s eyes glowing in the dark. Her eyes were adjusted enough to the dark that she could see he didn’t look annoyed for once. In fact, for the moment, he was completely unreadable. He looked more like a real cat at this moment than he had all day.

“Keeping you up with all the shifting around?” Beth sighed.

He nodded, still impassive.

“I’m sorry. It’s just…” Beth pushed herself up on her elbows to look at him. “What if killing the Green Man doesn’t turn you human again?”

He kept looking at her, not saying anything.

Beth sighed. “I’m sorry. I know. I shouldn’t get all emotional. It’s just…you're… You’re one of my best friends in the world, Dean. I just want you to be okay.”

To her horror, her eyes had gotten watery, and she managed to blink most of it away, but one tear escaped, starting a slow trail down her cheek.

Then Dean leaned in and licked it away, his rough cat-tongue fluttering against her face.

Beth stared at him in surprise. He leaned in again and licked his tongue across her mouth, seeming almost like he wasn’t thinking about it. Then he suddenly pulled back, actually looking embarrassed.

“Did you just kiss me?” she asked in surprise.

Dean hesitated before nodding.

“I can’t even say how much I wish you were human right now,” Beth said, flopping back down to her pillow. “I may be a cat person, but I am not making out with a big cat. Kiss me again when you’re human.”

Dean leaned over, laid his head on her shoulder, and just purred in contentment. And they drifted off to sleep together.

Beth, Dean, and Sam all awoke at about the same time. They packed up their things, checked their supplies for the summon spell, and then drove out to the abandoned gas station.

While Beth and Sam set up the spell, spray painted sigils in the awning, and checked through their weapons, Dean paced. It was the first time since his transformation that he’d been truly unable to help, and it obviously was wearing on him. So when it came time to cast the spell, neither Beth nor Sam protested his taking a place between them.

A few words of Latin and Beth tossing a bundle of herbs into a stone bowl held by Sam and a man appeared before them.

The man was easily one of the most fascinating people Beth had ever seen. He was wearing blue jeans and a white tee-shirt. But his skin was a vibrant green, and he had darker green curly hair on his head. And from his head, just behind his hairline, sprouted ram’s horns that curled around his ears.

“Good morning?” he said, looking at them in puzzlement. “Why have you summoned me?”

“Why’ve you been changing people into animals?” Beth demanded. It honestly came out of her mouth before she could stop it.

Sam and Dean both turned to her with identical expressions of disbelief. Why are you talking to the evil monster? Even with Dean a cat, the Winchester brothers managed to mirror each other.

“Well, I did wonder!” Beth protested quietly.

Twin eye rolls responded to that.

The big Green Man laughed. “Oh, mostly because I like to. I’ve got a lot of power up here.  There’s multiple festivals to me each year! And anyone who has a wild impulse they’ve been holding in is vulnerable to being changed.”

There was a deep pause until Sam said, “The alligator attack.”

“The man I changed? His wife’s been cheating on him. He might’ve killed the jerk that was sleeping with her anyway, I just helped,” the Green Man said with a shrug.

“The kid at school?” Beth demanded.

“How many high school kids don’t have wild impulses they’re sitting on?”

“The hummingbird girl?” Sam asked.

“Loves that boy she’s with, but is too afraid to tell him she wants to be serious instead of casual.”

They paused. Finally, Beth asked in a quiet voice, “And Dean?”

“His wild impulses all center around you. And he’s terrified to give in to them because he’s afraid he’ll just hurt you. Doesn’t think too highly of himself, this one.”

Dean responded with an angry growl.

The Green Man made a dismissive gesture that had Beth wanting to punch him in the face.

Which, considering they were totally going to kill him, was something she could actually do.

Beth stepped forward and sent her fist smashing into the Green Man’s nose. He stumbled backwards, cursing her in languages she didn’t recognize. Sam, pulled an angel blade from his jacket, as Dean’s growl grew louder.

The Green Man lifted his hand towards Beth, and a horrible cracking sound started in her feet as she stumbled and fell to the ground. Something felt like it was clenching her heart, and she suddenly couldn’t breathe. If this was what it felt like to transform, she was going to give Dean a hug when he came back.

“No!” Sam yelled, lifting his angel blade.

But Dean was faster. With a harsh cry that froze Beth’s blood, he sprang forward, claws out, towards the Green Man’s head. One of his clawed paws sank into that massive green chest, and the two fell in a tangle of limbs and fur.

Beth tried to get her gun up, but it wasn’t necessary. Dean managed to rip off one horn with his teeth, while Sam severed the other with his angel blade.

The Green Man’s eyes rolled back and he slumped over on the ground, dead. Beth managed, with a hack and a wheeze (both of which were incredibly attractive, and guaranteed to get Dean to want to make out with her, naturally), to take in another breath of air.

Dean, meanwhile, was moving towards her. He started out as a cougar, leaping towards her head. As he ran, however, a white glow seemed to overtake him. And by the time he was beside her, winding an arm under her shoulder, it was a purely human Dean who looked down on her. “Come on, Beth. Let me hear that beautiful voice.”

“Dean!” Beth said.

“Take it easy, Sweetheart,” he said with a brilliant smile. “He almost had you there.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” Beth agreed.

Dean helped her to stand.

“So, I guess all the other people he changed are okay, too?” Sam said hesitantly.

“Probably.  But we could call the local LEOs later on to be sure,” Dean suggested.

“Journalists?” Beth asked.

“That’s as good a cover as any,” Sam shrugged, turning to gather the remnants of the spell ingredients.

As they cleaned up the service station and buried the body, Dean took every opportunity to be close to Beth. And when they were headed back to their cars, shovels slung over their shoulders, Dean kept deliberately bumping his arm into her shoulder. Beth knew she was blushing, but she enjoyed the attention so much that she didn’t actually care. Dean was touching her! Rejoice!

Finally, they finished putting things away.

“Okay, it’s definitely time for breakfast,” Sam said, pulling out his phone to look up the nearest place.

“I agree,” Dean said, shutting the trunk on the Impala. He strode over to stand beside the bed of Beth’s truck—the far side, out of Sam’s direct view. When she closed the lid on her toolbox and looked down, he held up his arms for her to slide into, so he could set her on the ground.

Beth smiled and let Dean lift her down and set her gently back on terra firma. Then he pressed her against the side of her truck and leaned in. “I’m human now. Can I kiss you again?” he whispered, leaning his forhead against hers.

“Please,” she said.

That was all the persuading he needed to press his lips to hers. Slow, and sweet, he tasted her, let her taste him. Let her slide her arms up his chest to wind them around his neck.

When he pulled back, he smiled down at her. “So much for quashing my wild impulses. When we get back to the Bunker, Sweetheart, I…” He trailed off with a grin.

Beth smiled. “Me too.” Then she said, “Not to kill the mood, but Sam’s waiting on us. And I’m starved. That breakfast idea of y'all’s sounds fantastic.”

Dean laughed. “Sam’s been pushing me to make a move on you for two years now. But definitely breakfast. Cats are hungry all the time. Did you know?”

Maybe it was a cheesy note to end the hunt on, but Beth couldn’t help it. She laughed.

THE END

*~*~*

Author’s Notes: I had no idea that there was a giant statue of the Jolly Green Giant in Minnesota when I started writing this. I honest-to-goodness picked that state at random.

I am conflating some of the mythology here which, if we were being strictly scrupulous, doesn’t really conflate. Legends about the Green Man, Cernunnos, and multiple Lords of Animals date back to early Celtic days and before and mostly pretty vague. The Jolly Green Giant is based on a character from a Grimm Brothers story called “Bearskin” that is absolutely fascinating. The Green Devil in the Bearskin story doesn’t seem to have a direct connection to any of the Lords of Animals, though. But because the Green Giant/Green Man thing came together so neatly, I couldn’t resist.

Also, I know I call Dean a “big cat” here multiple times. But, despite the fact that they are big, cougars are technically “small cats,” as they are part of the felinae genus, rather than the pantherinae one. A mountain lion is more closely related to a house cat than it is a tiger. This doesn’t mean they are cuddly, though. Do not attempt to snuggle with a cougar!

The title is a reference to the phrase “curiosity killed the cat.“  This phrase has the often-omitted second part of "but satisfaction brought it back.”