elephant seat

When it’s not a spirit

I’ve created a monster.

The goal of this blog was to dispel rumors about Ouija boards (they’re safe, by the way, if you’re new here), spirit communication (yes it is a thing) and spirits in general (like the difference between ghosts and spirits). The goal was NOT to romanticize Ouija boards, spirit communication, and spirits in general. That seems to have happened.

As this blog picks up lots of followers and reblogs, I’ve slowly started getting posts about such romanticization, and over the last week it’s seemed to snowball into a horrifying force. 

So let me make a few things clear.

1) You can’t fall in love with a spirit. Spirits CAN fall for you, however, and usually those spirits are really immature and teenagery and obviously don’t understand what love is anyway. Spirits can also pretend to fall for you in order to gain power over you, kind of like those episodes of Catfish where people pretended to be someone else just to get money and attention. If a spirit says they love you, they’re either stupid or lying. But you can’t fall in love with a spirit, because spirits can’t truly exist in our world in the way we do. Falling in love with a spirit is kind of like falling in love with Augustus Waters; you love him very much and you can imagine how much he would love you, but he just doesn’t exist.

2) You can communicate with spirits in your dreams. When this happens, your dream seems to sort of stop, like you’ve pressed the pause button, and the spirit comes through and talks to you very realistically. It will feel like you are not dreaming at all. Then the dream continues. It usually repeats every so often, with same spirit returning in the same form. My mother and I talk about once a month through dreams. For example, I’ll be dreaming that I’m on a train full of elephants, then suddenly my Mom is in one of the passenger seats. The elephants freeze, the train stops moving, and everything turns black and white except for her. Then we talk for a little bit about what’s going on in my life, and then everything starts up. What I’m trying to say here is, that time you had that dream about Heath Ledger kissing your cheek was NOT Heath Ledger’s spirit communicating with you. Just because you had a dream about some dead celebrity doesn’t mean they’re talking to you, they’re your spirit guide, they’re haunting you, etc. 

3) Yes you are surrounded by spirits, and chances are they don’t care about you. It’s along the same vein that you are surrounded by furniture in your house, but you aren’t focusing on them 24/7. No spirit is going to be staring at you all the time. So when you get that feeling in your home that you ~feel~ like you’re being watched, there’s like a 2% chance it’s a spirit, and 98% chance it’s your brain feeling paranoid. Your brain is wired to think that every once in a while, as that was our defense from saber-toothed tigers or whatever during the Stone Age. People whose brains didn’t do that died, and did not pass on their DNA. Therefore we all have jittery moments where it seems like something is staring at you when there isn’t; that’s how your brain thinks it has to survive. And it can be useful sometimes, but in this day and age not so much, so it kicks in every once in a while. It especially kicks in after playing the Ouija board or doing spirit communication, because it causes adrenaline to rush through your body, and your brain is ready to panic at a moments notice. The only time this is a spirit watching you, the 2% chance, is when it’s preceding or following poltergeist activity (stuff moving, doors closing, etc) or if it gives you a genuinely sick feeling to your stomach like you’re going to throw up, or a severe headache, or any sudden physical pain.

4) Let me quickly address the most common ask I get that’s about not having a spirit haunt you. You wake up with a cut on your arm. OH NO! But don’t worry, it’s not from a spirit. You either cut yourself in your sleep with your fingernail or it’s from something during the day that you forgot about. Same goes for mysterious bruises. You cannot possibly remember every time you bump into a wall or brush against a door, so when you wake up from an injury from it, it’s shocking. But it’s not a spirit. If a spirit were to cut or harm you, they would either leave gashes that are deep, burning, and usually look like three claws, or the bruise will look like a handprint or fingerprints. Spirits want you to know it’s them, so they’ll make sure you know, and leaving one tiny cut on your leg that you notice two days later doesn’t cut it. (ha ha get it?)

5) Sleep paralysis is a thing. During your deepest stage of sleep, your brain sort of freezes your muscles so you don’t roll around during your intense dream. People whose brains have trouble with this experience sleepwalking. But most people don’t deal with that, and their brains have nighttime under control. For some people, if they wake up during the middle of that intense dream, say from being scared in a nightmare, their brain has a hard time unfreezing your muscles. So you lay there totally paralyzed for a few minutes. It’s a common thing and nothing to be worried about if you have this, but it’s NOT a demon or spirit holding you down. This was the theory back in The Day before Science came around (when I refer to The Day anytime in this blog, it refers to the period of time when people thought all mental illness was caused by paranormal or demonic influence) but now we definitely know it’s just sleep paralysis. 

6) I recommend Ouija boards and pendulums for fun spirit communication because it’s really easy to learn and to do and they’re not very dangerous. I usually don’t recommend methods such as spirit writing or astral projection as they are extremely difficult and only for people who have mastered meditation techniques. It’s for pros, basically. If you try spirit writing for the first time and you get results, you’re the one writing it. Plain and simple. I would only recommend spirit writing if you’ve done simple spirit communications several times with success, and know how to enter deep meditation for at least over an hour. 

7) Spirit communication can be very difficult for you and the spirit. If you’re doing a method that isn’t he Ouija board or pendulum that seems to come to you easily and naturally, it’s not a spirit, it’s your subconscious. So if you’ve invented some cool new technique for spirit communication, like having the spirit move your fingers, or just getting an answer in your mind all of a sudden, you’re sitting by yourself communicating with your own brain. Lots of people tried to invent their own in the early 1900s when seances were all the rage, and even recently with the CharlieCharlie Challenge. They all turned out to be hoaxes, or just psychological tricks.

I’ve had messages lately about all of these topics above that I answered privately. Some I haven’t answered because I just got tired of repeating myself privately to different people. If you’ve sent me a message in the last few days regarding one of these and I haven’t answered back, I’m really sorry but it’s not a spirit. Also, psychoanalyze yourself. Why does that one sexy Paul Walker dream make you think he’s always around you? Why do you instantly think that scratch is a demon? Why has your spirit writing made you dozens of spirit friends all with elaborate backstories that just “came to you”?

My goal in making this blog was to educate, not inspire teenagers to concoct their own spirit adventures and fantasies. I mean I get it, I was young once *gazes into the distance* and I know what it feels like. You’re gonna look back on this time in ten years and be really embarrassed for yourself, trust me.

If you have any spirit communication, Ouija board, spirit, poltergeist, pagan, Druid, Wiccan, Sailor Moon, anime, or hockey questions, feel free to ask.

he remembers
names handed out
boxes checked on hospital-white paper
sheets folded
tucked in a drawer with family passports

first-grade flight
he says
I can fly
he jumps
off the sort of table nothing good happens at
eyes locked on the shed roof
he says
I am a boy
insists on wearing only black and brown
finger-paints plates in beige
knows he will grow right
then-
scrapes his knees on bricks-
hears grandparents whisper about doctors

scraped scaly skin
turtle mosaics
distorted through water
fingers catching in soaked hair
another boy
swim trunks, short curls, open arms
approaching
a small foot meets water-droplet skin
no
not like this

other mother
with tablecloth dresses
smells of burning
straightening hair
glass lip gloss sticks to everything
bralettes
stinging treatments cure nonexistent acne
see?
like this
unbelievable he went unchecked for so long
see?
so much better now

curls retreat an inch at a time
until he can feel air
plain t-shirts
mauled sneakers
elderly whispering starts again

he finds a name
unremarkable
but his
this time
he finds a friend
willing to place an online order for him
hugs on elephant-skin schoolbus seats
hungry for more of himself
always

he finds another boy
another boy like him
here’s a recipe for falling in love
one part admiration
one part pity
one part recognition
one part longing
one part quiet
shake thoroughly
you should get
suicide pacts made between classes
paragraph-long deleted texts
laying wide awake with closed eyes
feeling each other breathe
on the edge of the football field

-lost boys, d.t.w

3

So, here’s the thing about the bridge.

What does a bridge do? It gets you from where you are to where you want to go. Point A to point B. Anyone can use it at anytime–you just have to actually go. But look at the bridge. Where exactly is it going? Logically, we know it reaches the other side, and we sort of make it out, but with the focus being on the foreground it’s all just blur. The bridge feels infinite (helped by the repetitive pattern of the lights). Not convenient, or ideal, but actually impossible. Especially because contrary to what you expect when you see Cas’ shots, where he seems at least to have made some headway on this bridge of unknown distance, they’re literally still at point A. Mere steps from the Impala, and all that represents. All because they’re having an argument over a problem neither is willing to actually name aloud, but has been the pink elephant in the back seat the past two seasons (and in many ways, the whole show).

I think we say a lot that Dean and Sam want different things, but that’s actually not true. They want the same thing. They want to keep moving forward, they want to live their lives the way they want to live it. They actually do want to cross the bridge. 

They just have this seemingly insurmountable obstacle that even though they want the same thing, it looks irreconcilably different for the both of them.

All they have to do is accept it. Accept that they have different ideas for what they would like to see at the other end of that bridge, and that this won’t actually change their relationship if they don’t let it. Their codependency seems unchangeable though–and so it is, making the bridge seem impossible to cross, even though it isn’t. As long as they say it is though, and they keep firmly planted right where they are in the same old argument by the same old car, they’re never going to get far enough down that bridge to realize just how short a walk it is.

(image credit: clairvoyantsam)

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Lion Cat Maru and Kojiro-parent and child.
Elephant Plush Stuffed Animal.
Lion Cat Maru and Kojiro sleeps with they are stuffed elephant. These are Kojiro favorite elephant.
Animal Plush Elephant Stuffed Seat Stool Chair. Adults can sit too.

In the late 19th century, the English oak tree, quercus robur (Latin, quercus for “oak” and robur “strength, hard timber”) gave its name to the villain in a Jules Verne novel, Robur the Conqueror, and to a tea company in Melbourne, Australia. Jules Verne’s Robur was a conqueror of the air, having invented a heavier-than-air flying machine. Australia’s Robur, on the other hand, touted its strength with an elephant, shown here being seated for a big cuppa in a Robur tea room. I’m fairly certain neither the novelist nor the tea company had anything to do with eachother.