elephant jump

Writer’s Block, the Third

I know it’s been a while, but man, oh man, don’t EVER title your story the worst thing that could happen to a writer. With that being said, thanks to @burkygirl and @xerxia31 for general hand-holding, butt-kicking, and very frank discussions about where this fic is headed. And thanks to @katnissdoesnotfollowback for having a birthday and giving me a reason to write this. Hope you like it! You can read the whole thing here. Don’t forget to talk to me. ;) Pbg 


Originally posted by sensualkisses

The walk to work is short, but I’m no less exhausted after my sleepless night than if I’d had to run miles to get there. All night long, my mind was wrestling with mortification mixed with a little self-loathing - while my body was on a whole other track. It doesn’t care that I lost control in the arms of my nemesis, moving in a single night from my first kiss to… whatever the hell that was. Nope, my body finally knows what it was missing all these years and it  wants more. More kissing. More touching. More stubble under my fingers. I actually imagined what it would be like to lick him in forbidden places, like his nipples, or… lower. Much lower.

I spent the night at war with myself – blushing at my thoughts one second, berating myself the next – until I finally caved into fatigue. I woke up three hours later to find my alarm had been going off for twenty minutes. Sleep, however little, did nothing to dispel the embarrassment. It clings to me like aggressive static electricity. This must be what the walk of shame feels like. Maybe I should read that book again.

The mid-morning sun blinds me when I turn the corner of the building, or I would have seen him, jumped behind a tree or hid in the alley until he left, but the sun is part of the universe after all. And I’ve already gotten the message that we are not friends.

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but first we need to talk about parallel universes : a mix for QUANTUM LEAPING THROUGH THE NTH DIMENSION

speed & velocity- they might be giants // i’m gonna be (500 miles)- the proclaimers // dick dimension- hell orbs // numbers- neil cicierega // turn the lights off- tally hall // back against the wall- cage the elephant // JUMP!- simple plan // a thousand miles- vanessa carlton

[ listen ]

Elephant breaks free from German monorail, 1950. On 21 July 1950, in town of Wuppertal, Germany, an elephant called Tuffi, jumped off the local monorail, and the photographer was lucky to get the shot. The elephant has survived the fall, due to the low height and the water below, and lived for next 40 years.

this started out as a tweet (here) and then self-indulgent lil me wanted to expand it so i started the headcanons…and then a friend asked for a fic, and here is it. a bday fic, of sorts, for gel. i hope you enjoy this, lov. happy birthday :)  

canon/idol-verse when jin left for the jungle and hoseok and yoongi have a slumber party. it’s actually softer than it sounds lmfao (unproofread, pls forgive). this is just something really soft after nanowrimo. i hope you guys enjoy this! happy december Xx 

it gets late soon enough and before hoseok can even so much as process what’s happening, everyone’s already shuffling out of the living room, their good nights mumbled as they head for their rooms.

they all stop when jeongguk mentions seokjin’s name, asking whether he’ll be fine sleeping in the jungle tonight. there is short laughter from the rest of them. short, exhausted laughter that they can’t quite keep up, except for the lingering smiles on their faces, and the brightness in their eyes that can only be attributed to amusement.

“seokjin hyung will be fine,” says namjoon, stepping aside to allow jeongguk entry into the room first. “good night, guys.”

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obscuriel  asked:

this isn't a question but i'm looking up cool facts on google rn and apparently turtles can breath through their butts and obvs this is very important information pfft also elephants can't jump like rip is this why they're so scared of mice

this is glorious information and vert important to me. and i heard they’re scared of mice because they don’t want to accidentally hurt the Smol beans. and i like this theory better. science can fight me. 

ask me anything!

Made a crazy ass long playlist with old songs from mixtape-mondays (links on my blog somewhere) up to some newer songs and just stuff I like. PLEASE listen if you can because this actually took so long and literally has no point in why I made it so I would appreciate it! XxX

Listen HERE (it’s 8tracks bc I know people like that shit) 

1. Young Blood - The Naked and Famous // 2. BOY - Little Numbers // 3. San Cisco - Rocket Ship // 4. Asta - My Heart Is On Fire // 5. The Jungle Giants - No One Needs To Know // 6. Blackbird - The Beatles // 7. Keep You - Wild Belle // 8. Cub Scouts - Evie // 9. San Cisco - Toast // 10. Hermitude - Hyperparadise (Flume Remix) // 11. Sir Sly - Easy Now // 12. 360 - Run Alone // 13. Trek - Spencer & Antfood // 14. You and I - Ingrid Michaelson // 15. Mcfly - Love is Easy // 16. San Cisco - Fred Astaire // 17. Frank Ocean - Forrest Gump // 18. Ball Park Music - Coming Down // 19. The Rubens - My Gun // 20. She’s A Riot - The Jungle Giants // 21. Flight Facilities - Clair De Lune (feat. Christine Hoberg) // 22. Sometimes - Miami Horror (Matt Watkins Remix) // 23. Us - Regina Spektor // 24. The Temper Trap - Sweet Disposition // 25. Colours - Grouplove // 26. Hungry Kids of Hungary - Scattered Diamonds (Alcopop Remix) // 27. Fleet Foxes - Mykonos // 28. The 1975 - Girls // 29. Starfucker - Rawnald Gregory Erickson The Second // 30. Pull Me Down - Mikky Ekko // 31. Passenger - Let Her Go // 32. Feels Like We Only Go Backwards - Tame Impala // 33. The 1975 - Chocolate // 34. Mermaids - Jinja Safari // 35. Radioactive - Imagine Dragons // 36. Alt-J - Matilda // 37. Foxes - Youth // 38. Yuna - Remember My Name // 39. Fader - The Temper Trap // 40. The 1975 - Sex // 41. Grimes - Genesis // 42. Bon Iver - Flume (Kulkid Remix) // 43. Ghost Beach - Miracle // 44. Wild Child - WEKEED // 45. Still Parade - Actors (Niva Remix) // 46. Brother - Matt Corby // 47. Welcome Home - Radical Face // 48. IPlayYouListen - ODESZA // 49. MS MR - Hurrican (CHVRCHES remix) // 50. Daughter - Candles // 51. The Paper Kites - Bloom // 52. The Paper Kites - Paint // 53. Azelia Banks - 212 // 54. Riptide - Vance Joy // 55. Resolution - Matt Corby // 56. Elephant - Tame Impala // 57. Jump Into The Fog - The Wombats // 58. Aminals - baths // 59. Vampire Weekend - Diane Young // 60. Easy To Love - The Jezabels // 61. Whitley - More Than Life // 62. Sleepless - Flume // 63. New Navy - Tapioca // 64. Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros - Home (RAC Mix) // 65. Afterglow - Wilkinson // 66. The Jungle Giants - Skin To Bone // 67. Disclosure - You & Me (Flume Remix) // 68. Lorde - Team // 69. Flume - Intro // 70. Flume - Holdin On // 71. Bound 2 - Kanye West // 72. The Paper Kites - Featherstone // 73. Cough Syrup - Young The Giant // 74. Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Scar Tissue // 75. Bastille - Flaws // 76. Bliss N Eso, 360, Pez, Drapht & Seth Sentry - Reservoir Dogs // 77. The 1975 - Chocolate (Acoustic) // 78. Lorde - Royals // 79. Trying To Be Cool - Phoenix (Breakbot Remix) // 80. New Navy - Zimbabwe (Flume Remix) // 81. Ta-Ku - I Miss You // 82. Oasis - Wonderwall // 83. Chet Faker - Talk Is Cheap // 84. Frank Ocean - Thinkin Bout You (Ryan Hemsworth Bootleg) // 85. The XX - Crystalized (Remix) // 86. The Middle East - Blood // 87. Panama - Always // 88. Clubfeet - Cape Town (Panama Remix) // 89. Matt Corby - Letters // 90. Mix Chopin - Lush // 91. Two Door Cinema Club - What You Know // 92. John Mayer - Stop This Train // 93. God Only Knows - MKTO // 94. Trumpets - Jason Derulo // 95. Alt-J - Breezeblocks (# Remix) // 96. Arctic Monkeys - Snap Out of it // 97. The Wombats - Your Body Is A Weapon // 98. Willow Beats - Blue // 99. Alt-J - Bloodflood // 100. Last Dinosaurs - Andy // 101. Lana Del Ray - Video Games // 102. Kanye West - Blood On The Leaves // 103. Bad Bad Hats - It Hurts // 104. Terraplane Sun - Get Me Golden // 105. Young The Giant - Guns Out // 106. What The Devil Has Made - Matt Corby // 107. Tycho - Montana // 108. Scouting For Girls - She’s So Lovely // 109. Everybody - Ingrid Michaelson // 110. Arctic Monkeys - Do I Wanna Know // 111. Jason Mraz - I’m Yours 

anonymous asked:

What are some examples of materials our wings are said to be made out of?

Wings can be made of almost anything, and factors depend highly on which of the three methods a pansexual uses to gain their wings. Popular wing materials include:

  • Keratin
  • Cartilage
  • Human souls
  • Muscles
  • The eternal, never-ending screams of everyone who dares oppose the Pansexual Order
  • An inexplicable feeling of dread
  • Michael Rosen rapping
  • The soft, gentle gasp of a pansexual elephant as she learns that she, unlike other elephants, can jump
  • Pain
  • Feathers
TORTOISE IS A DIRTY FUCKING CHEAT

ONE DAY, THE ELEPHANT IS BEING A SMUG BITCH ABOUT HOW SEXY HE IS AND HOW FUCKING WONDERFUL AT EVERYTHING HE IS. THE TORTOISE IS PRETTY FUCKING ANNOYED, AND CHALLENGES THE ELEPHANT TO A JUMPING CONTEST. 

UNFORTUNATELY FOR THE ELEPHANT, TORTOISE FUCKING CHEATS AT EVERYTHING. BEFORE THE JUMPING CONTEST, HE GETS HIS WIFE TO HIDE IN THE GRASS AT ONE END OF THE COURSE. WHEN THE CONTEST STARTS, HE RUNS IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION, MAKES A LOT OF NOISE, AND DUCKS INTO A HOLE, WHILE HIS WIFE JUMPS OUT AND PRETENDS TO HAVE LANDED 20 FEET AWAY. THE ELEPHANT MAY BE A FUCKING SEXY BEAST, BUT HE’S ALSO FUCKING STUPID, AND CAN’T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TORTOISE AND HIS WIFE. CONVINCED THAT THE TORTOISE HAS ACTUALLY JUST JUMPED 20 FEET ACROSS THE FIELD, HE SURRENDERS AND GOES HOME TO CRY. AND THAT’S WHY YOU SHOULDN’T BOAST IN FRONT OF TORTOISES. THEY’LL FUCK YOU UP.