This rant brought to you by Charleston.
**This is what has seem to blow up on social media. I appreciate the support**
This is exactly what I say all the time. But it in turn, makes me racist. In saying it, it might make me seem racist…But, I speak the truth.
I am white. If you are black. I have privilege over you. I am held higher in certain (but important) standards of society. I don’t like it. It makes you feel fucking gross when you see it, and even worse…It makes you feel dumb for saying: “Oh, because I’m white.” It’s really fucking sick that people can just sit back and marinade in that kind of negativity.
You have this white kid. This angry-for-no-reason, white little piece of shit. That has probably never struggled in his life. That probably hasn’t gotten to sit down, and talk with an elder of a different race. The point I’m trying to make, is that everyone interprets and states history differently, because everyone experiences it differently. If you ask a white man what the 50′s were like. He’d tell you that shit was Pleasentville. Paperboys, ball games, etc… Reverse, and ask a black man, or a Hispanic man, or an Irish immigrant. The tunes played to you will sing so differently that it’s sick.
All I know about this event is: Some kid, wearing a Rhodesian White Nationalist flag patch (South African Hate group. The youngest leader died at age 88, this isn’t exactly a common flag to display, and learning about it is difficult, because it’s so secretive.) Walks into a church that is so historically famous, that an act like this is hard to understand. This church has stood up through hatred, violence, arson, being shot at, etc… This little fuck walks in, prays with the prayer group… and guns down nine people that had families, friends, loved ones; like they were nothing. These people meant something to me. They lived in society. They congregated together, and stood up for their communities. They PRAYED for you. And you have the nerve-…? Fuck you.
The only people saying this wasn’t a hate crime from the jump, were media outlets, racist white folks, and people with their heads shoved up their asses. He SPECIFICALLY targeted black people. HE LOOKED FOR A PLACE THAT BLACK PEOPLE WOULD BE. He openly admitted to wanting to incite violence. You won’t get that shit from me, man. Hell, if I was in that church. You’d have had to shoot me too. Because I’d have died alongside my brothers before I let you carry on without trying to stop you.
Some say “insane”…”Oh, he might just be mentally ill.”….CLEARLY he’s mentally ill. That doesn’t mean he didn’t know that what he was doing was wrong and illegal. Let me tell you why: PEOPLE WHO ARE CLINICALLY INSANE, THAT DON’T KNOW WHAT THEY’RE DOING…They don’t plan their crimes. They don’t run away for 14 hours. They sit there and rock back and forth, once they realize that they were off their meds and snapped. This kid had motive. He knew exactly what he was doing.
People act as if there isn’t a blatant and shocking racism that is still alive. That goes both ways, though. They act as if it doesn’t exist. They treat it like a sore tooth. "Maybe if I don’t address it, it will just go away.”….I’m not the type that can do that. Especially when I live in a country that tells me DAILY that I am superior to others because of my skin. (They don’t? Get real.) The media used to say close to nothing when thousands of black Chicago kids were getting killed, but picked up fucking hatchets when it happened to wealthy white kids. I watch the same news channels, and read the same articles you do, man. Why don’t you get it? Why aren’t you saying anything? It’s all there, on paper. You ignore it out of fear, or you just don’t want to believe it. How can you see when you’re fucking blind? “Race doesn’t matter, bad things happen.”…Really? Because it seems now, and has seemed that race is all that does matter. Did you know black people were once not allowed in the Navy? Honest men willing to fight for a country that OBVIOUSLY hated and belittled them constantly. WHY?…Because people thought that black people couldn’t see at night. That’s absolutely insane, and it’s no different than what goes on today.
The police… Man that’s easy to call out. I catch less shit from the police. I’ll be the first to tell you. Due to recent events. I’m afraid of police too. All I know is, is that if a police officer wants to… he can slam me on the ground, and if I ask why he’s doing something to me. I end up with six warning shots in my back. And the police will investigate it, and maybe a cop will get charged, or fired. Or whatever. But I’m already dead. And it’s too late to take preventative action. Mr. Garner and many others are dead because of a complete misuse of force.
So what do we do? I honestly don’t know, man. But I will not fight or participate in any sort of war versus the people who live in my community. I will continue to stand up for everyone, regardless of race or creed. And I will use the SHIT out of my “white card” too. “I’m white. Pay attention, senator, officer, etc…” Because that is what it’s come to.
Some act as if this is a black community thing. The Charleston shooting. Tsk tsk. Not to me, it isn’t. It seems like every time a hate crime happens where a white guy carries out a heinous act. He thinks he has a right to speak for me. I do not agree, condone or support anything that the little punk did. I hope for the worst punishment possible, in fact. And I stand and grieve with Charleston. Not as a white man. But as a man in their community, and a fellow human being. I am horrified, and angry by what happened too.
The injustices that are clearly served daily, I am heartfelt sorry for. But I won’t participate in hurting people, or act as if it doesn’t exist. Wake up, America.
P.S. If I see another white person say “I’m not racist I have (insert race here) friends. I’m going to lose my mind. It’s racial in thinking because you have a friend from a race, that they’re the headmaster of that race and you can get away with saying something stupid.
Label me a racist for what I said. I don’t care anymore. But I’m not going to shut up, when there’s CLEARLY an issue.
Black folks. I’m not afraid of you in any sense. You don’t scare, or intimidate me. You don’t annoy or bother me. And I certainly don’t want you to die at the hands of evil men.
I support local businesses, I shop, eat, and congregate locally because you do the same for me. Which puts food on my plate. We are breaking bread together. What does scare me? That white kid that thought it was okay to shoot at people. Racist folks that create tension when it’s unnecessary. Hateful people that wake up with reasons to hate. Anyone who commits acts of terrorism on our country is just that: A fucking terrorist. It doesn’t matter if his name is Achmed, or Wally Cleaver. Skin tone doesn’t define your intentions. And living around people with this much anger in their hearts, scares the shit out of me.
In closing, I apologize for the novel I just wrote. I am a heavily tattooed white guy. I’m looked at and profiled. I am considered stupid, or a bad decision maker. Really? You have so much to work on and learn about if you think the big bad black man is coming for you. Or the tattooed white boy. I rarely speak or talk about feelings. Those that don’t know me act as if any eloquence or articulated scribbles that I say or write are void just based on my demeanor or how I look. But I’m not stupid. I see everything. Some would say that I hate my own race. Bullshit. I fucking love my Irish heritage. I wear it proudly. So you’d better know that right out of your head.
It seems like right when my wounds start to scab and heal from what’s happened in our community, something else happens, and I lose more sleep, and the wound is again open. My heart goes out to Charleston. I am heartbroken.