elbow point

2

Sometimes you just have to scribble some boys

PLEASE READ THIS AND TAKE IT SERIOUSLY

WRITTEN BY A COP: Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or a loved one’s life. In daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation… This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, & everyone you know. After reading these 9 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you… Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse.
RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy.. The driver won’t see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.
DON’T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,
and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR ,
LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE..

If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, Repeat:
DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware:look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor ,
and in the back seat.
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door.
Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women
are attempting to get into their cars. C.) Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side.. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN!
The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then,
it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked ‘for help’ into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late
and she thought it was weird.. The police told her ‘Whatever you do, DO NOT
open the door..’ The lady then said that it sounded like the baby
had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way,
whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.’ He told her that they think a serial killer
has a baby’s cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby.. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby’s cries outside their doors when they’re home alone at night.

10. Water scam! If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your outside taps full blast so that you will go out to investigate and then attack.

Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbors! Please pass this on
This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby Theory was mentioned on America ’s Most Wanted when they profiled
the serial killer in Louisiana

I’d like you to forward this to all the women you know.
It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle..
I was going to send this to the ladies only,
but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc.,
you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

Send this to any woman you know that may need
to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it
and it’s better to be safe than sorry..
Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life.

Masterpost of Cryptic Shit from The Adventure Zone

Because damn Griffin’s given us a lot of mysteries to work with. (Excerpts from the show under the cut.)

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

here's a prompt where instead of neil getting hurt in a game, it's andrew

this turned into fluff????? mark this down on the calendar, guys, because I never turn angst into fluff at least not like this

Neil isn’t on the court when it happens, so he sees every second. It’s not the first time a team got it in their heads that the way to win the game was to sacrifice a striker in order to take down Andrew. But it’s the first time they’ve decided to sacrifice two strikers and a defensive dealer.

Andrew gets the ball out of the goal and then braces for the impact of the striker. If it had ended there, Andrew would have been fine, brick house that he is. But the other striker, in a blatant foul, rams into Andrew as well, and then the fucking defensive dealer piles on as well. Whistles blow and the buzzer goes off, calling the game to a halt as red cards are thrown and the referees make their way onto the field.

Neil is on his feet and running without remembering to tell his body to move. Wymack and the referees try to stop him, but Neil ducks and shoves past them. The other players are already on their feet, but Andrew is still on his back, racquet laying a foot from his extended hand. 

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Mirror For The Sun - Part 9: Las Vegas

Masterlist  -  Series Masterlist  -  Part 8  -  Part 10

Summary: (Bucky POV) Nat tricks you into leading a road trip with Bucky, Sam and Steve. Her plot is partly to get the boys to travel for fun for once but mostly to get you and Bucky together. You and Bucky, who seemingly despise each other.

Warnings: swearing, shameless twisting of canon to suit my lazy writing needs

Word Count: 4335

Author’s Note: Ok I don’t know how I feel about this part but this is the second rewrite and I just… here it is.

Originally posted by caps-bucky

After days crammed in the car and a night sleeping in the woods, this enormous suite in this luxury hotel feels excessive. Nat seemed to blend right in, a smug grin painting her face, not a hair out of place, a sleek dress to match the sleek tables and bright furniture. She’s the exact opposite of her friend, linked arm in arm with her, hair a soft tangle, still in that hoodie whose campfire smell lingers every time she moves. Just thinking about the smell of it reminds me of the morning but I shake the thought from my head, there are enough distractions here.

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anonymous asked:

I just had this amazing idea of Betty wearing Jugheads beanie, maybe at school or something, and them walking together while people are just like "what" because no one is allowed to touch his beanie. I don't know if this made sense, I just imagined it and you're really good at writing so I thought i'd throw this your way

Thankyou I’ll give it a go.
***

It was the apocalypse, the world was ending, she had stepped into the twilight zone, this was an alternate universe. Veronica Lodge stared blatantly at her beautiful best friend as the blonde cheerleader dug through her locker, tiny blue and white skirt sticking out from the metal. She looked amazing in her uniform, Betty looked amazing in anything but that was not the point, the current reason for Veronica’s utter and absolute confusion was the very familiar grey knitted beanie placed crookedly over Betty’s loose blonde waves.

“So yeah, I pretty much told Polly that we are not naming the babies super and duper, she’s really into finding names that rhyme with Cooper for some reason, I think it’s the hormones. I mean..” Betty cut herself off of abruptly when she spotted Veronica’s dropped jaw and wide eyes “what’s the matter?!” She questioned, whipping Around to see what Veronica was staring at.

The raven haired beauty threw her arms in the air dramatically
“What’s the matter?! B! You’re wearing Jugheads beanie?! How did you even get that, oh my god he’s going to kill you. Is this a prank, how come I wasn’t included.. were you included?!” Suddenly Veronica’s anger and shock was on another person entirely. Archie Andrews came strolling up to the two girls, his hands raised in surrender

“It wasn’t me. Whatever it was, it wasn’t me.” He spoke quickly, his arm draping over his girlfriend. “So what was it that I didn’t do?” He asked playfully, dropping a kiss to Veronica’s head.

Veronica elbowed Archie and pointed to The crown beanie on Betty’s head, Archie gasped his hands reaching out to grab the hat off of her head.

“Oh shit Betty, you must have just put it on by accident. Here let me take it, he’s gonna lose his shit when he realizes it’s missing. I’ll take the fall.. I’ll just say I found it or that he left it.”

Betty stepped away from Archie’s grabby hands
“No! Listen it’s not..”

“Well what do we have here? Are they manufacturing those ridiculous hats now? Oh god this better not become some new loser fashion trend, homeless chic?” Cheryl blossom bit out from behind Betty causing the irritated blonde to nearly jump out of her skin

“Cheryl! No I was…”

Reggie came to stand beside Cheryl

“What is this? Did the loser move? Is he Giving away his things? I call those sick headphones!”

“Oh for petes sake! This is just…”

“What’s going on here?”

Betty instantly relaxed at the familiar sound of the owner of the hat in question. No one knew it but Betty and Jughead had been seeing each other for over two months, they kept their relationship incredibly private and it had been working fairly well, well except for right now.

“Hey, there it is. My hat. You fixed it.” Jughead gently tipped Betty’s chin, moving it back and forth so he could get a look at his newly knit hat. “Thanks babe.” He dropped a kiss to Betty’s lips, mischief shining in his eyes.

Jughead gripped Betty’s hand, fingers lacing with hers, they both turned to the shocked faces of their friends ( minus Cheryl and Reggie)

“Did I miss the party?” Jughead joked.

Instantly a thousand questions were being hurled at the pair, Jughead rolled his eyes and tugged Betty away from the group.

“Too many questions” he mumbled as they made their way to first period.

Betty giggled, reaching for the hat on her head to give back to her boyfriend.

They dark haired boy placed his hands over hers on her head.

“Keep it for today, looks better on you than it does on me.” His pupils were dilated and his eyes scanned over her body.

Yeah Jughead definitely had an attachment to his.. hat.

Like Baby Bird

inspired by this text post because tater would.

I pulled this out of the bottom of my “unfinished” folder and finished it because I promised you guys some writing and I’m gonna deliver even if it’s crap.

(warning: it’s crap.)

edit: (ao3 link)

There’s no one else in the NHL whom Tater would rather piss off than Kent Parson. Feints and unnecessary checks and stealing Kent’s puck while saying, “You mind I’m borrow?” like he’s just swung by Kent’s place for a cup of sugar. Twice he’s gotten up in Kent’s business all through a tight game, asking “You want fight? Come on, Parson, little fight, know you want, been asshole all game, come on,” and waited until Kent has snapped, “Yeah, fine,” and tossed down his gloves, only to have Tater laugh and say, “Just kidding.” And then skate away.

Tater also snow showers Parson every chance he gets. He gets the fight he was asking for twice, but mostly he gets insults yelled at him as he ducks away.

Thirdy calls it hilarious. Marty calls it “kinda dangerous, you know he’s gonna kill you one day, right?” 

Snowy calls it “the most disgusting display of courtship I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”

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The Tower - Chapter 3

The Tower: An Avengers Fanfic

Chapter 3

Word Count: 2544

Warnings: Smut (M/F vaginal sex, unprotected sex)

Synopsis: Clint takes Elly to the Tower for some paperwork, and things get very real very quickly.

Author’s Note: Co-written with @emilyevanston , my sunshine.

Chapters: One / Two / Three /


Chapter 3 - The NDA

The morning Natasha left for her month long mission, I woke tangled up with her with Clint spooning me from behind, his arm draped over the both of us.  Natasha was trying to pull herself free from me.

“Natasha?”  I whispered, as she finally pulled herself free and sat up.

She leaned down and kissed me.  “Time for me to go.  Stay in bed.  Clint rarely sleeps and if you move he’ll wake.”

“You’re just going to leave me here with him?”  I asked.  I’d never woken up with someone I didn’t know at all and somehow the fact he was an Avenger didn’t set my mind at ease.

Natasha chuckled and rubbed my leg getting up and raiding the drawer she had been keeping spare clothes in.  “He’s one of the best guys you’ll ever meet.  You have less to worry about with him than you do me.”  After she pulled on some jeans she came back over and sat down on the edge of the bed while she put on her bra and t-shirt.  “Mishka, today Clint will ask you to go to the tower to sign some paperwork.  It’s a non-disclosure agreement.  We’ve reached the point where if you talk it hurts us.  It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just something we do when things get serious.”

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Langst Fic Idea Part 3!

A part 3? Why yes indeed it’s the part 3. You guys have finally satiated my thirst for validation, thus I give to you this… thing. 

Part 1 & Part 2

Enjoy! (not edited whatsoever. Sorry :) )

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WRITTEN BY A COP: Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or a loved one’s life. In daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation… This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, & everyone you know. After reading these 9 crucial tips, forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do :The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!

2. Learned this from a tourist guide. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse,
DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you… Chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse.
RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!

3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy.. The driver won’t see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.

4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.
DON’T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head,
and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR ,
LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE..

If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, Repeat:
DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.

5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware:look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor ,
and in the back seat.
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door.
Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women
are attempting to get into their cars. C.) Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side.. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)

6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)

7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN!
The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; and even then,
it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably in a zig -zag pattern!

8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked ‘for help’ into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.

9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late
and she thought it was weird.. The police told her 'Whatever you do, DO NOT
open the door..’ The lady then said that it sounded like the baby
had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, 'We already have a unit on the way,
whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.’ He told her that they think a serial killer
has a baby’s cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby.. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby’s cries outside their doors when they’re home alone at night.

10. Water scam! If you wake up in the middle of the night to hear all your taps outside running or what you think is a burst pipe, DO NOT GO OUT TO INVESTIGATE! These people turn on all your outside taps full blast so that you will go out to investigate and then attack.

Stay alert, keep safe, and look out for your neighbors! Please pass this on
This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby Theory was mentioned on America ’s Most Wanted when they profiled
the serial killer in Louisiana

I’d like you to forward this to all the women you know.
It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle..
I was going to send this to the ladies only,
but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc.,
you may want to pass it onto them, as well.

Send this to any woman you know that may need
to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it
and it’s better to be safe than sorry..
Everyone should take 5 minutes to read this. It may save your life or
a loved one’s life.

anonymous asked:

do you know why yuuri wears his face mask everywhere he goes?? i know japanese people wear them a lot when they're sick and they go out but yuuri seems to wear it an awful lot. do you think he has like the worlds longest perpetual cold or something

It is definitely a cultural thing. Japanese people (and if what I’ve seen in pop culture is any indication, quite a few other Asian countries as well) LOVE face masks and wear them ALL THE FREAKIN TIME. I didn’t even notice Yuuri was wearing one bc it seemed so natural to me ^ ^;

When We Collide (Part 8)

Pairing: Assistant!Y/N/CEO!Luke

Rating: NC-17

Parts: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Summary: He is the definition of high class smart ass, swimming in Dom Pierre Pérignon champagne and has never seen the shadow of poverty. She is underprivileged, lives in a messy dorm room on sale and struggles working as an assistant after being thrown out of college. But how will they collide when Luke makes Y/N pregnant after a drunkenly one night stand?

When We Collide on Wattpad

”What do you mean Holly is going to be my girlfriend?” Luke’s confusion was clear on his face, eyebrows furrowed and jaw falling slowly.

You were having the exact same expression on your face but kept quiet after your small outburst, you were just so shocked you didn’t know whether it was actually a real statement or just a simple lame joke.

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She’s Cheer Captain & I’m on the Bleachers


Sunshine.  The smell of grass and the feel of it under her shoes.  Cheers and screams from the bleachers.  She certainly didn’t have this on The Isle.  The whistle blew, and Mal came to a stop, tugging her helmet off and letting the waves of purple come spilling out.  The screams only seemed to get louder when she did so, and half of them sounded like they were coming from the cheerleaders on the sidelines.  Jay jogged over to her, losing his helmet as well and letting his equally luscious locks flow free too.  More screaming.

“You wanna be the one to tell them practice is over?” he teased, elbowing Mal and pointing at the cheerleaders.

“Not only no, but heck no,” Mal walked with him to the center of the Tourney field.

Number 59 and Number 8 strolled idly across the ground to the tune of Auradon Prep’s shouts.  Jay was right, it was only practice, not an actual game, but the bleachers had seen more and more company on practice days ever since Mal became team captain.

“…What is she doing here?” Mal questioned, coming to a stop and tugging Jay to one by his sleeve.

“Head cheerleader?  Kind of her job to be here,” Jay flashed a grin as he waved at said cheerleaders.

“Not Audrey, genius.  But by all means, feel free to always remind me when my ex is hanging around.  I meant her,” Mal pointed into the bleachers with her Tourney stick.

Jay peered into the crowd, spotting the familiar face of Dopey’s kid and his chemistry partner sitting beside him.

“Evie?  Huh.  Good question.”

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3

“Okay, I just got Y/N sent to the back of the line for lunch,” Liz Allen stated like it was no big deal to all of your friends, “Now why do you think she’s acting so strange?” They wanted to figure what could making you act differently without you at the table.

Y/N Y/L/N is one of the most popular girls at school. You weren’t mean at all, but everyone looked up to you and wanted to be with you or be you. You were just as confused as to why you were so popular. While you couldn’t say you were friends with everyone, you tried to be nice to everyone you encountered.

Lately, your friends noticed how strange you were acting. They caught you humming and drifting off into your own world more times than they could count. You seemed much happier than you normally were, which is saying something. Liz knew something was up.

One of your friends piped up, “I asked where she was going after school and she just giggled! She didn’t even answer my question.”

“Yeah! She was also wearing a new dress that’s fancier compared to what she normally wears.” Your style, while cute, wasn’t full of designer shirts or dresses. You preferred casual and comfortable clothing.

Liz thought over the information she was given. The way you were acting made her believe that you might actually be going insane. You were humming, dressing up for seemingly nothing, and barely talked anymore. You smiled at nothing and have a weird obsession with sweet songs about love.

“Wait!” Liz exclaimed, drawing the attention from some of the tables nearby, “I know what it is!” Your friends all started to ask her. She smirked smugly at her realization. “She likes someone! It’s so obvious.” Liz stands up and starts listing the facts. “Y/N has been considerably happier and basically singing love songs. How could we have missed it?”

“Who do you think it is?” Your friend asked curiously.

“Well, it has to be someone new,” Liz suggested, “We would have noticed if it was directed at someone we see as well.” She looked to see where you were in the line before she spotted Peter Parker.

Since the two of you lived in the same building, you considered Peter a friend, but he preferred to sit with his other friends at lunch. Liz didn’t think it was him so she called, “Peter! Come here!”

Peter looked up, very confused. Ned elbowed him and pointed to Liz. She waved him over and he came, as if a teacher was calling him to their desk to scold him. He shoved his hands in his pockets and asked, “Uh, why did you call me over?”

Gesturing to a seat, Liz asked, “Have you noticed anything different about Y/N? Or have you seen her with anyone besides us?”

Of course it was about you. You were the only link between Peter and Liz Allen. He flushed red slightly before answering, “She’s been a bit weird. It’s almost like I’m not there most of the time.” He laughed a bit. “She hasn’t been as talkative lately and we haven’t been hanging out as much.” Peter frowned a bit. “She’s been humming like -”

“Love songs?” Liz suggested, knowing he was going to say that.

He looked confused. “Yeah, have you noticed?”

“Anyone can see it,” Liz started as the people at the table started laughing or giggling, “Y/N likes someone! We think it’s someone we’ve never met so we were wondering if you saw anyone with her.”

At the mention of it, Peter paled a bit, but not for the reasons the table thought. Liz continued, “It’s fine, Peter. She likes being your friend. She wouldn’t abandon you for whoever she’s crushing on.”

“Yeah, o-of course,” Peter stuttered a bit, hoping they wouldn’t notice.

“So do you have any idea who it is?”

“N-n-no idea.” He cursed at himself for his awkwardness. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see you finally get out of the lunch line and approach the table. “Uh, I have to go to the library. You know, studying. See you.” With that, he left the cafeteria without saying bye to any of his other friends.

What your friends weren’t aware of was that a certain masked hero of New York had started coming to your window, bleeding or worse. The first time, it seemed like an accident, but since Peter had no clue what to do when he got hurt, he continued to visit you, someone who wouldn’t ask questions.

You never asked who he was or tried to find out, something he appreciated. Conversations ensued as Peter recovered from the patching. His little crush for you grew into actual feelings. Bring Spiderman gave him confidence to talk to you in ways that he wouldn’t dare as Peter.

Even as Spiderman, he wouldn’t dare to think that you had feelings for him, until you did something about a week before Liz Allen asked him if he noticed anything different about you. Peter leaned his head on his arm as he recalled the night in the library.

It had been like any other night when Peter visited you. After you patched him up, he was leaning against your bed, looking at you get rid of any supplies you couldn’t explain to your parents. His side was a bit sore from being thrown to the ground and began to excuse himself when you stepped closer to the hero in your room.

He kept his eyes on her, not like you could see his actual eyes. Raising your hands slightly to the bottom of the mask, you froze when Peter placed a hand on your wrist. He had assumed that you were trying to remove his mask and he wasn’t ready for his secret identity to spread any more. You tried to maintain eye contact and stated, “I’m not going to take it off all the way. I want to try something.”

Peter’s heart was pounding and he didn’t trust his voice to respond. Multiple theories ran through his head, but he trusted you to not remove his mask. Still unable to properly respond, Peter released your wrist and nodded.

You took a small breath before slowly rolling up his mask so it stopped a bit below his nose. Moving his mask made the eyes not align with his actual eyes so he was practically blind and extremely shocked when he felt your lips meet his. Peter might have jumped back, but Peter in the suit found confidence and kissed you back while placing his hands on your waist to pull you slightly closer.

After that fateful night, you and the masked hero shared a few more kisses and Peter started to worry that you’d want to find out who exactly Spiderman was. Burying his head into his arms, Peter must have looked crazy in the library, yet he knew he was dealing with something more crazy.

He might just be competing with himself for you, and he appears to be losing.

‘ good mythical morning ’ sentence starters ━━━━

❛  i have been repeatedly spooned by this man.  ❜
❛  what i discovered is that i bleed…  &  then i heal.  ❜
❛  he had a dream vomit.  ❜
❛  I’VE BEEN SHREKED  !!  ❜
❛  i am a modest princess.  ❜
❛  whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat  !!  ❜
❛  bikers wanna do more than kiss.  ❜
❛  hey…  hey girl…  hey.  hey girl…  i like your boots.  ❜
❛  laughter is like farting out of your mouth.  ❜
❛  i sleep with reckless abandon  !!  ❜
❛  just call me sugar daddy.  ❜
❛  soft tacos are wannabe burritos.  ❜
❛  i’m gonna be a rapper,  i’m gonna call myself ritz cracker  !!  ❜
❛  it’s made from the muffin tops of men.  ❜
❛  my cheeks are sweating…  all four of them.  ❜
❛  the fastest way to a woman’s heart is through a worm’s anus.  ❜
❛  dare me to eat the anus  ??  ❜
❛  i could,  at any point,  share something inappropriate.  that’s part of who i am  &  i embrace it  &  constantly battle with it.  ❜
❛  embrace the taste.  ❜
❛  when in doubt,  whip chocolate out.  ❜
❛  question:  how do you eat a fart  ??  ❜
❛  when in doubt,  choose humping.  ❜
❛  everybody wins a goat.  it’s like oprah,  except it’s goats.  ❜
❛  cheese pizza is for kids  &  sad people.  ❜
❛  do you wake up with melted booty dents  ??  ❜
❛  you gotta cross a few lines to get to the circle.  ❜
❛  uneven sideburns are off fleek.  ❜
❛  paint me like your french fries,  jack.  ❜
❛  elbow points are a sign of intelligence.  ❜
❛  you show you mine,  i’ll show you yours.  ❜
❛  these have been boiled for safety.  ❜
❛  i was an anxious child.  i felt safest on the couch.  ❜
❛  you heard of that band  ‘ vomit launch ’  ??  i heard they’re coming into town in a few minutes.  ❜
❛  we’re eating the stars.  everything is stars  &  that makes everything okay.  ❜
❛  we are living in an instant world  &  i am an instant girl.  ❜
❛  let’s talk about that  !!  ❜
❛  i don’t want to  ‘ lady  &  the tramp ’  with you  !!  ❜
❛  now don’t go with too much gusto or you’ll pop through.  ❜
❛  you can do it,  serpent king  !! 
❛  volcano boarding is real.  ❜
❛  nachos are for sharing.  ❜
❛  what the–  what the crap  ?!  ❜
❛  which type of poop do you want to make  ??  ❜
❛  are you harboring a bad relationship under your left butt-cheek  ??  ❜
❛  she’s not gonna go to pittsburgh with me to open the put-put palace with me.  ❜
❛  bubbles are the answer.  ❜
❛  today we master the art of the contour.  ❜
❛  this is like the first thing people see see when they arrive in hell.  ❜
❛  i want you to glow,  man.  i want to be the glow boys.  ❜
❛  i could be a bird.  that’s what i’ve learned.  ❜
❛  when it comes to turkey,  i am a breast man.  but when it comes to humans,  i am a wing-man.  ❜
❛  me  &  my sports bra dance amongst the windmills.  ❜
❛  there’s no real crotch under here.  ❜
❛  i think they’re just making sarcastic remarks directly into each other’s mouths.  ❜
❛  there are moments when you really frighten me  &  i question why you’re my best friend.  ❜
❛  answer the question  !!  what color are your nipples !?!
❛  i’m on top of you  !!  ha-ha !!  i’ve got you right where i want you  &  that’s under me  !!
❛  my rectum is so tight.  ❜
❛  i’ll be caressing your dinosaur fossil on a regular basis,  if you’re okay with that.  ❜
❛  a cookie solves a world of problems.  ❜
❛  this has got to stop.  this,  us eating  &  drinking gross stuff,  has got to stop.  ❜
❛  you’re the mouth king  !!  you’re the mouth king  &  nobody knew it until today.  ❜
❛  you need me  &  i need you.  we need each other at certain points in our lives, that aren’t the same times.  ❜
❛  when you serene really hard you start chillin’.  ❜
❛  let’s touch our sword tips.  ❜
❛  everybody’s got a butthole,  but i got two.  ❜
❛  go to bed.  don’t pee on your ritz crackers.  ❜
❛  the sun is always shining on a unicow that’s milking itself.  ❜
❛  i’m always thinking about women in corsets  &  i’m always thinking about getting my piercings snagged.  ❜
❛  before i apply my face,  i like to mist myself with a light film of my signature scent,  febreze.  ❜
❛  i always say nothing livens up a party than a pair of chaps.  ❜
❛  ever pooped out an engagement ring  ??  ❜
❛  there are also professional butt slappers.  ❜
❛  lotta foreskin going around these days.  ❜
❛  i don’t know if you can feel how hard i’m breathing,  but that’s the sound of winning.  ❜
❛  hey,  i’m a bird of paradise.  ❜
❛  i might say stupid things,  but at least i know they were stupid.  ❜
❛  you began to thrust your pelvis out to meet the bat.  ❜
❛  you seem to be getting a little too much of a thrill out of beating the crap out of me.  ❜
❛  there’s nothing like the feeling that your balls are impervious.  ❜
❛  i’d like to see the root of that sternum.  ❜
❛  he must look  &  feel amazing.  ❜
❛  oh gosh,  i can’t look away.  ❜
❛  you’ve never worn panties before,  huh  ??  ❜
❛  kids,  this is how you make a baby…  first,  you get a belly bongo.  ❜
❛  i think it’s gonna become clear as i take my clothes off what i am.  ❜

To all the artists whose poems write like mine did two years ago,

Write it. Write about how she caught your elbow, and how she pointed at the clouds, how you were looking at her his ink-speckled fingers.

Someday, you’ll write a novel about the way her lipstick smudges onto her teeth and how her hair ends up in your mouth in the morning. You’ll type out every pronoun with a sense of finality you never thought you’d know.

- part r of pride // bluestruckholly

hey friends :)

I’m gonna be real honest with you here, it’s been a long time since I’ve worked on the fake bf fic and writing is hard and life is just overwhelming as hell these days, so if y’all wouldn’t mind giving me just a liiiiittle bit of validation that my writing hasn’t turned to complete crap?? that’d be super cool??? please & thank you, here is what I have of ch. 6, it’s not a lot but hopefully there’s gonna be more soon now that I have some kind of flow???? idk man I love you all thank you for being so ridiculously patient

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Can you please stop petting my husband?

Original request: Can you do one where T'Challa gets turned into a cat by Loki, but then Captain America finds him and he doesn’t know he’s a cat and starts cuddling him and babying him until the reader, T'Challa’s wife, explains what happened?  I would die laughing!

A/N: this wonderfull human @cupcakequeen1999 keeps giving me those great ideas! Go check out her own writing blog @cupcakequeen1999-3 she is getting started and she is a great writer! Also I wrote this while our ‘Easter Family meeting’. Happy (late) Easter or what you celebrate! Enjoy!

Warnings: Swearing (oh god, you know me already don’t you?)

Pairing: T’Challa x Reader, Loki x Reader (Platonic)

Word count: 1.2 k

Originally posted by softly-satanic

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quantum mechanics, smirks, and other complications of the universe (Pidge/Lance)

Summary: It’s the littlest things that are hardest to measure. Pidge tries anyways.
A/N: birthday fic for @flusteredkeith !!! you know how much I love you and basically every other fic I write ends up dedicated to you anyways but here’s a lil something short and sweet set in the canon universe <3 have a beautiful day~~
A/N2: partially inspired by this art by @shiros-sugar !

[Read and review on Ao3] or continue under the cut.


The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle says this: the more you know about the position of a particle, the less you can know about its momentum, and vice versa.

Pidge’s Field Guide to Her Friends (Version 2.0, after extensive beta testing) says this: in precisely ten ticks, Lance will approach the tall, four-eyed, four-armed alien with a wink and a pick-up line.

Sure enough, the experiment begins right on time.  Lance saunters over, all long limbs and diamond-edged smile, leaning casually against the pillar to deliver his pièce de résistance: “Are you from space?  Because your body’s out of this world.”  

Based on Pidge’s calculations (after all, a scientist is only as good as the notes she keeps), this line has a 67% success rate.

The alien looks at Lance, all four eyes staring at him blankly, before excusing itself from the conversation.  Pidge turns around to hide her snicker, taking out her palm pad so that she can update her data.  The column keeping track of “overtures made” goes up from 27 to 28.

“What are you doing?” Hunk appears at her shoulder.

“Testing a hypothesis.  Have you ever thought about how Lance is kind of like Schrodinger’s Cat?”

Hunk strokes his chin. “Not really. Explain.”

“The cat is both dead and alive until you open the box.  Lance is both charming and not until he opens his mouth, and then he’s just… not.”

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