either one is a go

Gamer(Jungkook AMBW Smut)

I don’t know why I keep doing this to her, but I also needed to get out my frustrations with a man who just has been trying to creep in my mind. Hopefully it’s over now. Here you go @silhouetted-beauty love you sis <3 

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Batfam as things my fam has said

Dick: *tells a joke*

*silence*

Dick: Okay, but when it’s about my life, everyone laughs.

——————–

Jason: I’m really trying, and it’s just not working.

Tim: There is no try. Only do.

Jason: I don’t think Star Wars is really going to help me right now.

Tim: *scoffs* Shows what you know.

Dick: You know, I’m proud he got that reference.

——————-

Jason: *messes up*

Bruce: *addresses the younger kids* Okay, he’s older. That means you should all learn from his mistakes or risk being just as much of a fuck-up.

Jason: Dad!

Bruce: *raises an eyebrow*

Jason: *sighs* It’s true.

——————-

Bruce: Okay Tim, you need some sleep.

Tim: You know, I’ve got enough problems in my life without you shoving your mainstream ideals and corporate agendas down my throat.

Bruce: …?

Tim: Yeah, goodnight.

———————

Dick: Okay, but if cotton shirts shrink when they get wet, does that mean sheep shrink when they get wet?

Jason: Bro, sheep produce wool.

Dick: Really?

Jason: Cotton comes from a fucking plant.

Dick: *in a small voice* So…sheep….don’t shrink…..when they get….wet….?

Tim: I think your brain shrinks when it gets wet.

———————–

Damian: *walks into the kitchen at 12:00 a.m.* *sees Dick laying on the table crying*

Damian: So this is adulthood.

*like a month after that*

Damian: *walks into the kitchen late at night again* *sees Jason sitting in front of the fridge just staring while holding a jug of milk*

Damian: Is this like a thing? Does every adult in this family have mental breakdowns in the kitchen late at night?

Bruce: You’ll understand it someday.

Damian: *turns the light on* *sees Bruce sitting on the counter with a single piece of bread*

Damian: What was I born into?

———————–

*at McDonald’s*

Dick and Jason: *get their own food*

Tim and Damian: *have to share*

Damian: Dad, that’s not fair. Why do we have to share?

Jason: Because we’re older, nimrod. We’ve paid our dues.

Dick: Yeah. I’m older than all of you. Dad had to raise me before he knew what the fuck he was doing.

Bruce: Jokes on all of you. I still don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.

———————

Jason: *ruins the end of a movie the others haven’t seen*

Dick: You know, there’s a special place in hell for people like you.

Damian: Yeah, it’s this family.

——————–

*at the pediatrician’s*

Bruce and Damian: *waiting for the doctor*

Bruce: *starts opening the cabinets* *finds the latex gloves* *starts stuffing them in his pockets*

Damian: Um, Dad? What are you doing…?

Bruce: I use these when I’m working. I like the ones from my doctor better. These are all meant for small hands.

Damian: Well maybe you shouldn’t be stealing from your son’s pediatrician then—or your doctor for that matter.

Bruce: Maybe your pediatrician shouldn’t have such small hands.

Damian: That is so not the problem with this situation.

(I know Bruce is hella rich, but my fam isn’t. lolol)

——————-

*getting free samples from the store*

Bruce: Okay, Jason take your jacket off and go up there again. She’s elderly and will probably think your someone else.

Jason: *rolls his eyes* *goes anyway*

Dick: Dad, that is horrible.

Bruce: Do you want lunch son? 

Dick: Yes?

Bruce: Okay then. Roll your shorts up, put your hair in a ponytail, and pretend you’re my daughter.

Tim: We’re all going to hell.

———————

Dick, Tim and Jason: *fighting over what movie to watch*

Damian: *gives a suggestion* *gets ignored*

Dick, Tim and Jason: *keep fighting*

Damian: Hello!

Dick, Tim and Jason: *still ignore him* *still fighting*

Damian: I DEMAND ATTENTION, YOU ASSHOLES!

Dick, Tim and Jason: *turn to Damian in shock*

Damian: That’s right. I am capable of speaking. I may be the youngest, but I still exist.

———————-

Jason: Hey, Dick?

Dick: JUST LEAVE ME ALONE TO DIE!

Jason: What’s wrong with him?

Tim: Someone ate all the Lucky Charms.

———————-

Jason: How do you know when a fish is dead?

Dick: That’s an ominous question.

Jason: But like, how do you know?

Dick: I don’t know. Usually if they’re upside down at the top of the water.

Jason: So…laying at the bottom of the bowl all pale and colorless probably means dead, right?

Dick: JASON WHAT DID YOU DO?

Jason: I DON’T KNOW! I think I fed him too much. I mean, he just kept eating. I figured he was just that hungry!

Dick: Damian is going to kill you.

Jason: This is like his fifth fish. How attached could he have been, really?

———————–

Damian: I thought I said that this family was banned from going anywhere near my fish. Why do you all keep killing my pets? Dad freaking swallowed one!

Jason: Wow Dad. I just overfed one. At least I didn’t eat it. 

Bruce: That wasn’t my fault! You shouldn’t be putting them in water bottles!

Damian: I WAS CLEANING HIS BOWL!

———————–

Tim: Why is the world against me?

Damian: Is that rhetorical or would you like me to answer?

———————–

Dick: *wakes up* I really feel like today is going to be a good day.

Dick: *spills his bowl of cereal on himself*

Dick: I’m going to go to bed now.

Bruce: Dick, you just woke up.

Dick: Well the world doesn’t seem to care!

————————

Tim: Can you have a midlife crisis at 17?

Damian: I don’t even think I’ll make it to 17.

Jason: I’m pretty sure I died the day I turned 19.

Dick: I’ve been having a midlife crisis for the past three years.

Tim: So that’s a yes.

————————

Bruce: I miss being young and childless.

Jason: As your child, that’s just so nice to hear.

————————-

Bruce: Why aren’t you in school right now?

Dick: Dad, why does life feel like an endless abyss of self-loathing and humiliation?

Bruce:

Bruce: I’m just going to call and say you have the flu.


2

list of random spirits encountered:

- a spirit haunting a lamppost on 3rd street. it asks for the umbrella of anyone passing by in exchange for a temporary alteration in reality

- a spirit haunting people with burdens on their mind. manifests as a pair of wings on their shoulders

2

[au’s that exist elsewhere]

there’s whispers around town about the two boys who live in the forrest. the locals will talk about them with their eyes cast downward and their voices hushed, worried that they would hear them.

there would be moments, in the dead of night, that shrieks will pierce the hot. humid air and people will shudder.

they’ll warn the foolish tourists who come to their town, seeking out the two boys who makes their home in the woods and they’ll tell them to watch out, beware.

beware of the boy with gold in his eyes because if you see him then the one with emeralds won’t be too far behind.

and if you see him, your shrieks will fill the night air, shouts and pleas for help and the locals will turn their heads, ignoring the way that goosebumps rise on their flesh and pretend that they don’t have two witches who haunt their town.

[southern gothic witch winchesters]

2

turn off the lights and turn off the shyness
‘cause all of our moves make up for the silence

I don’t care how much he tries to hide it behind snarky banter and sarcastic comments Raven Reyes is on the list of the very few people John Murphy cares about.

gif request meme + hs yearbook award themes

okay guys: a gif request meme based off of those ‘best’ categories at the end of your hs yearbook lol

  1. best hair
  2. cutest couple
  3. nicest smile
  4. most athletic
  5. most dramatic
  6. class clown
  7. friendliest
  8. best hugs
  9. best dressed
  10. biggest flirt
  11. best bromance
  12. most changed
  13. most dateable
  14. most outspoken
  15. most likely to succeed
  16. most likely to end up in jail
  17. most likely to take over the world
  18. most likely to become president/prime minister
  19. most likely to become famous
  20. best person to bring home to your parents

send me an ask with a number and fandom!

having been on several submarines, i cant imagine why anybody would want to live on one. even if it was yellow.

In regards to the bit of controversy over the idea that Felicity needs to understand Oliver pertaining to the breakup,

Yes, Oliver is the one who broke their relationship when he lied to her (I think there’s more nuance than that but not for the sake of this argument). It’s his fault they’re broken. 

BUT. Oliver is not the one who left. Felicity walked away and closed the door on their relationship. That’s not to say she shouldn’t have. But it means that Felicity is the one who has the power to open that door again. Oliver doesn’t have that power. So until Felicity is willing to revisit the relationship, no amount of growth or understanding from Oliver is going to do a thing.  And Felicity won’t be willing to do that until she gains some understanding. And here’s the important distinction: understanding isn’t going to make what Oliver did right; understanding is going to make what Oliver did forgivable. 

Thoughts of a Hockey Penalty Box Attendant

  • ‘Get a job in the NHL they said, it’ll be fun they said, fuckin’ lied though didn’t they.’
  • 'Here comes our first prisone–I mean player.’
  • 'Why do you guys have to hit the glass with your sticks? Why? You could poke an eye out.’
  • 'Oh no, no no no, not the camera– damnit, we just got a new one.’
  • 'How many times is this guy gonna get a penalty.’
  • 'Oh great, here comes another one. Joy.’
  • 'Okay guys, I’m running out of roo- okay honestly, I have no where to sit now.’
  • 'Ew, I just stepped in some sort of bodily fluid.’
  • 'Just once I’d like to see a fan come in the box circa Tie Domi. Just once.’
  • 'It’s a good thing there’s no hot mics in here. A sailor would blush after hearing some of this shit.’
  • 'Can–can you not try to continue the fight while in the pout palace? You’re basically in a glass case of emotion and no one can hear you but me.’
  • 'I will either go deaf from players yelling or fans. Probs both.’
  • 'I am the keeper of the bad children and I alone can release them from their prison.’