Everything I need to know I learned from 10 things I hate about you
1. There’s a perfect match for everyone.
Even if you are the misunderstood rebel chick or the ultimate “good guy who’s also a bit of a nerd” you can be sure that somewhere out there, somebody is going to like you for exactly who you are.
Sometimes is easy and unexpected and some other times it’s hard and it takes time because the girl/guy you like has to date some jerk first (or many of them) to realize that you are the one that was perfect for him/her all along… But hey, it’s worth the wait. I mean, even Michael and Mandella ended up together, there’s hope you guys, for all of us.
2. Good guys do finish last
Especially in high school when popular girls have the chance to choose between many guys that worship them, it’s not usual that they’re gonna pick the cute goodie one over the sexy popular one.
Sadly, this behavior doesn’t end at high school and it’s not exclusive of popular girls, some of us regular, not-so-worshiped girls tend to choose the bad boy that WE KNOW is gonna end up hurting us than the geeky best friend that has been there for us all along.
3. Good guys win at the end
However, there’s good news for all the good guys in the world. Most girls get tired of getting hurt and of guys that treat them badly, so of course, we look again around us and realize that the good guys were always the best choice we had.
There’s a point in life that cocky boys start to seem just that -BOYS - and we start looking for a man that’s responsible and nice and that treat us right, and we do stick with those, not with the bad ones.
4. A little “sacrifice in the altar of dignity” goes a long way
There’s nothing more romantic than a gesture that screams “hey I’m doing this shit I normally would NEVER do just for you”
Probably if you would’ve ask Kat if she would like some guy to sing “Can’t take my eyes off of you” for her in the bleachers of the football field she would’ve probably said no, buuuuuut she appreciates the gesture because she knew Patrick was risking his reputation for her. I mean, we all fell in love with him at that particular scene of the movie for one reason.
5. Whatever is that you are going through, you are not the first one
Obviously, one of the most iconic moments of the movie is when Kat reads her poem out loud in front of all of her class. That dark scary girl just sharing her feelings in plain daylight.
That poem is just her own version of Shakespeare’s “141 sonnet” and that was published in 1609!, what I’m trying to say is that many of the stories wrote many years ago are still up to date and are very enlightening especially for people like Kat and I that are not very “in touch” with our emotions. Seriously, I recommend some reading, it’s really amazing to find people having the same problems you have, just centuries earlier.
6. “Friendships” are not forever
Do you ever look back and think of all those people you used to be so close to and that you never see or speak to anymore?
Friendships are not forever… when we’re growing up we hang out with pretty much everyone that wants to hang out with us and we start calling those people our best friends, but as we grow up we realize we didn’t have much in common with them to begin with and start drifting apart. And it hurts, but then the pain goes away and you don’t even remember those people more than once in a lifetime. That’s how you know you never needed them.
Or sometimes you just realize they’re horrible people, like that Chastity, ugh.
7. Don’t let anybody ever tell you that you don’t deserve what you want
This one brought to us by our own Patrick Verona: “See first of all, Joey is not half the man you are. Secondly, don’t let anyone ever make you feel like you don’t deserve what you want. Go for it.”
I don’t think that this needs further explanation. Thank you Patrick Verona.
BONUS. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the most perfect man ever
I am part of the minority that always preferred Cameron over Patrick, I clearly like Patrick too (A LOT) but Cameron was just, perfect. Of course I didn’t know it back then but JGL grew up to be one sexy specimen so now I feel proud to remember how I loved him with passion even when he was an awkward teenager.
I even think that I built my “type” in guys around Cameron James, cute baby face, almost too skinny to stand in his own feet who’s a bit of a nerd and a hopeless romantic. Yes, I’m 23 and I still think he’s the guy I want… so I live with very high expectations that are probably never going to be fulfilled.
Everything I need to know, I learned from being 28
Everything I need to know, I learned from being 28
One of my favorite EINTKILF traditions is the birthday edition. I have always viewed birthdays as a more important day than New Year’s Eve — a day in which I reflect, set goals, and remind myself how far I have come in the past year. My birthday is in two days, and I’m turning 29 years old — an age that is both slightly scary and invigorating.
I have been saying I am “almost 30” for YEARS, but now it’s finally almost true. I am almost 30. And here’s what I know.
EINTKILF Being 28
You can always go home again
During my 28th year, I knew a few things. I knew it was my last year in the small town that I had called home for the past decade of my life. I knew I was going to leave my job. I knew I was in a relationship that I didn’t want to be in — one I never should have been in, really.
I didn’t know that the bridges I had built for myself years before would be the ones I would travel back across, though this time with more confidence, passion, calm, and certainty. I left that job for a company I had previously worked for, I moved back to a city I had already tried to live in, and I spent the latter half of my 28th year quietly, blissfully, assuredly reuniting with the only man that has ever really had a hold on me.
They say you can never go home again, but in my life, it kinda feels like you sure can.
Do it for her
I did not learn that women are capable of anything in my 28th year, but you know what I did learn? I caucused for Hillary Clinton in a very pro-Bernie Sanders community. I stood up alongside 12 other people in a room of 600+ Bernie supporters. I had men yell in my face, question my motives, accuse me of voting for Clinton only because she’s a woman, and accuse me of not knowing any better because I am young.
A photo posted by Jess Tholmer (@tholmz) on Jul 28, 2016 at 7:48pm PDT
But as I stood there, I thought about Clinton’s strength. I didn’t back down, because she never has. Now, many of us are with her, but I always was. Political unrest has always strongly affected my personal life. My 28th year was no different, but it taught me a different kind of strength and courage.
Not just in my own life — though 28 was very much a year of revisiting my past — but in all of our lives. It might be due to the harsh reality of our world, especially in the height of the most disturbing and terrifying election in decades; but as a culture, we have leaned pretty heavily on nostalgia in recent years. Think about it: Fuller House, X-Files, Gilmore Girls. Movies like Ghostbusters, remade superhero films, continuations of book series we all loved. It’s not coincidental, and it’s great to embrace it.
I spent a LOT of my 28th year watching The X-Files and I regret nothing.
Everything is worth the wait
I wrote this specifically thinking about Leo DiCaprio finally winning his first (!!!) Oscar — a feat for him as much as myself, tbh. But I mean it in other ways, too. Even if it seems like something is gone forever, it might notbe — and you maybe shouldn’t completely move on.
I’m talking about Leo, but also Mulder and Scully, but also my love life.
Settle into yourself Let yourself take the time required to figure out what you need to be happy. Let yourself forgive and love. Let yourself re-establish your friendships. Let yourself grieve for past choices and sacrifices. Let your toxic friendships fade away un-dramatically. Spend time with the people you really want to spend time with. Let yourself choose yourself. Settle into what you need and want in your life. It is, after all, yours.
Happy birthday to me! (And to all of my fellow Leo loves.)
All images via author and/or author’s best friend.