-Two men in their forties came through in complete hunting regalia save for one’s bright pink boots to purchase two Hot Wheels cars. Specifically, they bought the Roller Toaster, a toaster on wheels. I applaud their taste in toys and fashion.
-I would like to apologize for whatever I am doing to give the impression that, when I reach out to offer change, I am offering my hand to hold. Several elderly women have acted upon these unintentional signals and none of us have been happy about it.
-Someone stamped a Decepticon logo onto a series of twenty-dollar bills. This is the beginning.
-A hanger was labeled “NB.” I am thrilled that the store had begun to carry clothes outside of the gender binary, although I wished that they would make them for adults and not just newborns.
-I handled several articles of clothing for infants and toddlers with taglines such as. “First Crush,” and, “Cutest Bachelor.” I am grateful that we as a culture begin forcing romance on our youth at such an early stage, lest they become queer, or worse, uninterested in relationships altogether.
-Nothing makes me happier than older guests shopping with their friends and insisting upon paying for each other’s purchases. Nothing makes me more stressed out than when the bickering escalates and I am forced to choose sides and accept one’s payment at the fury of the other.
-In the middle of paying, a woman pointed at Starbucks, loudly said, “Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh,” and then returned to her business without any acknowledgement to assure me that it had actually happened and was not a heat-induced hallucination.
-A woman approached me, informing me that I looked important and therefore must be a manager. The joke is on her, as I am but a lowly cashier, but appearances are half of the battle and this proves that my master plan is on the right path.
-I asked a man how he was. He looked me in the eye and replied, “I am but a man.” That will not be changing anytime soon if he keeps up this attitude.