eighteen quote

I hate the way you talk time.
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car,
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick,
It even makes me rhyme.

I hate it… I hate the way you’re always right,
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
Even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you’re not around,
And the fact you didn’t call.
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you,
Not even close,
Not even a little bit,
Not even at all

—  10 things i hate about you

she buried her face in books
so no one could see
the emptiness in her eyes

she filled her mind
with the fictional fantasies
and hoped one day 
they would be real

but because her head
was always stuck in a book
she never got the chance
to have adventure of her own

—  cover to cover by Madisen Kuhn in her book Eighteen Years

we were all late nights, long talks,
our hearts so full of everything we
thought it would kill us someday
but we never broke, only grew.

we were missed curfews, tired eyes
drinking in sunrises, coasting
80 miles an hour down the back roads
going anywhere but home.

we were lipstick stains on
each other’s collarbones. no matter
how much it hurt, we were
always coming back for more.

we were endless summer, baby,
all heat and ache and want. we were
stars so bright they hurt your eyes,
so bright you couldn’t look away.

we were beautiful. we were young.
we loved each other breathlessly, deathlessly.
we had the whole damn world clenched
in our fists. we never let anything go.

—  A Love Letter to Seventeen on my Eighteenth Birthday by Auriel Haack

there are good types
of feeling small

like when you’re in a big city
with tall buildings
and throngs of strangers 
surrounding you, 
painted with possibility

or when you’re wrapped up
in someone’s arms
and that person
feels so massive
and you feel so little
and protected 
and safe

but this sensation
of small, 
this feeling of 
like an ant
that could be squished
and no one would care,

is not
a good feeling

—  ant by Madisen Kuhn in her book Eighteen Years.

i long for a life I have control of

i want a space of my own, decorated
with photos that hold nice memories, 
soft pillows, and scented candles

i want shelves filled with books of
 adventure and poetry

i want to wake up every morning 
excited for what is to come

i want to look up at the sky
and feel the sun warm my face

i want to go on long walks and hikes 
and feel healthy and strong

i want to feel productive and satisfied

i want to take more photographs 
and take up new hobbies

i want to become friends with 
more interesting people 
who will tell me stories about 
places i’ve never been

i want to feel alive

—  awakening by Madisen Kuhn in her book Eighteen Years
In my 18 years I have learned to never settle for second best.
To embrace my stretch marks. Embrace my scars.
I have learned to flow freely but still be hot to the touch. I have learned to fight until I get what I deserve.
I have learned to keep my promises.
I have learned to work hard.
I have learned that it’s okay to laugh and it’s just as fine to cry.
I have learned that education is important but it is not everything.
I have learned that opinions are important but they are not everything.
I have learned to look inside people, to love and be loved
To smolder and smoke but still ignite when needed.
I’ve learned to be angry but always forgive. I’ve learned to forgive but to never forget.
I’ve learned to eat ice cream. Take pictures. Give thanks.
I’ve learned to go on walks. Talk loud. Dance boldly.
I’ve learned to be kind not only to others, but myself.
And I’ve learned to be kind to every walk of life I see.
In my 18 years I’ve learned to expand
because I deserve every good thing that I have. That I have had. That I ever will have. I’ve learned how to adventure and I’ve learned how to learn. And in that discovery, I’ve learned how to live.
—  18
One Day

I’ve spent the last seventeen years of my life waiting for the day that I turn eighteen. To be an “adult”, to know what it’s like to be free, but the truth is, I’ll never be as free as I am in this moment right now. It’s taken me seventeen years to realize that, seventeen years of mistakes, lessons, tears, relationships, words, people, and life. I still have a year left, a year left of simplicity, and it’ll be the longest yet shortest year of my life. But it is what it is, time keeps moving, and from this point on, you only grow older. And one day I’m not going to walk through that front door of what I call home. One day I’m going to wake up, be forty-two, and ask myself, “where the hell did time go?”.

Will you remember this? During the passionate and painful time of our 18th year, because you were there, we were able to become this, and so I was able to cheer up. Because you were here, I was able to look at myself, and that is why I was able to do better. I’ll probably continue to fall again. Because I’m not used to this, I’ll probably make mistakes, get hurt, and cry. Even so, I won’t regret it. We did everything in our ability to be happy today.
—  Kang Yeon Doo (Sassy Go Go/ Cheer Up)