eight stages

2

I’m a yoga girl – I’ve always got my yoga mat rolled up in my suitcase. When you’re doing long haul flights back and forth across the Atlantic, it’s good to stretch out. At drama school here, they get yoga in your routine very early because it helps with respiratory control. When you’re a stage actor your breathing, projection, and voice are a big concern. Yoga keeps my mind and body centered, limber, and flexible. Being an actor is more physical than people realize it is. When you go on stage eight times a week to do a show, that’s a real cardiovascular workout. You need to be fit. If you get up at 5 in the morning and go pretty much all day until 7, you need to fit otherwise you’re not going to survive very long.

Queers marks and celebrates some of the most poignant, funny, tragic and riotous moments of British gay male experience over the last century. 50 years since the Sexual Offences Act of 1967 decriminalised private homosexual acts between men aged over 21, this series of eight monologues will be staged across two evenings at The Old Vic.

Queers is curated by Mark Gatiss and produced in partnership with the BBC, with short film versions of the monologues to be screened on BBC Four this summer. The monologues will be directed by Mark Gatiss and Old Vic Associate Directors Joe Murphy and Max Webster.

Full lineup:

Fri 28 Jul
The Man on the Platform by Mark Gatiss, performed by Jack Derges
The Perfect Gentleman by Jackie Clune, performed by Gemma Whelan
I Miss the War by Matthew Baldwin, performed by Ian Gelder
Something Borrowed by Gareth McLean, performed by Mark Bonnar

Mon 31 Jul
Missing Alice by Jon Bradfield, performed by Sara Crowe
Safest Spot in Town by Keith Jarrett, performed by Kadiff Kirwan
A Grand Day Out by Michael Dennis, performed by Fionn Whitehead
More Anger by Brian Fillis, performed by Russell Tovey

Queers is part of One Voice, a series of monologues specially commissioned by The Old Vic and funded by the TS Eliot Estate, with one-off performances from renowned actors. One Voice celebrates the most raw of theatre forms – a single voice on a stage without scenery, without costume and with nothing to rely on but words.

stages of finding a new fandom
  • stage one: hmm what's this? it seems cool i may check it out...
  • stage two: oo i like these person. im going to find out more about them
  • stage three: wait no. i like this person with this person. i ship it
  • stage four: I WANT THEM TO BE WITH ME BUT ALSO WITH THEM
  • stage five: brb gotta find the merch
  • stage six: wait they have fanfiction of this
  • stage seven: I NEED THEM TO FUCK
  • stage eight: what was my life before this
  • stage nine: im not obsessed i swear *every background and profile pic is related to some part of the fandom* *has pictures all over walls* *always drops references*
  • stage ten: dies everyday from feels
Caught You! | Moon Byul (Mamamoo)

Caught You! | Moon Byul (Mamamoo)

Word count: 4.2k
Warnings: mentions of strippers and prostitution, overstimulation, very brief mentions of guns
A/N: the song I was describing is the Coming Of Age Ceremony



Keep reading

bbc.co.uk
BBC - Casting announced for BBC Four’s Queers - Media Centre
A stellar cast is to appear in BBC Four’s Queers. Ben Whishaw, Alan Cumming, Rebecca Front, Russell Tovey, Gemma Whelan, Ian Gelder, Kadiff Kirwan and Fionn Whitehead will star in eight 15 minute monologues.

A stellar cast is to appear in BBC Four’s Queers. Ben Whishaw, Alan Cumming, Rebecca Front, Russell Tovey, Gemma Whelan, Ian Gelder, Kadiff Kirwan and Fionn Whitehead will star in eight 15 minute monologues.

Curated and directed by Mark Gatiss, Queers sees eight new and established writers respond to the 50th anniversary of The Sexual Offences Act which partially decriminalised homosexual acts between men. The series will be broadcast as part of the BBC’s Gay Britannia season this summer.

Taking in 1957’s Wolfenden Report, the HIV crisis and the 1967 Sexual Offence Act itself, the monologues will explore some of the most poignant, funny, tragic and riotous moments of British gay history and the very personal rites-of-passage of British gay men through the last one hundred years.

In The Man On The Platform, Ben Whishaw (London Spy, Spectre) returns from the trenches of the First World War, whilst a hundred years later, Alan Cumming (The Good Wife) reflects on gay marriage in Something Borrowed.

More Anger finds Russell Tovey (Him And Her, Being Human) playing a gay actor in the 1980s, and Rebecca Front (War And Peace, Humans) contemplates her very particular marriage in Missing Alice.

Gemma Whelan (Game Of Thrones, Decline And Fall), Kadiff Kirwan (Black Mirror, Chewing Gum), Ian Gelder (Snatch, Game Of Thrones) and Fionn Whitehead (Dunkirk, HIM) appear respectively in A Perfect Gentleman, Safest Spot In Town, I Miss The War and A Grand Day Out, each examining the very different attitudes and social changes in gay men’s lives over the century.

The plays are written by Matthew Baldwin, Jon Bradfield, Michael Dennis, Keith Jarrett, and Gareth McLean, who are writing for television for the first time, alongside established screenwriters Jackie Clune, Brian Fillis and Gatiss himself.

The 8x15 mins series was commissioned by Cassian Harrison and Mark Bell, Head of Commissioning, Arts and is made by BBC Studios. The Executive Producer is Pauline Law.

Queers is being produced in partnership with The Old Vic Theatre who will stage all eight of the monologues in July, in the run up to the television transmission. Tickets for the live staging are on sale now, with casting to be announced.

There is no dress rehearsal
Just a script that I’ve never read
A sad story that is universal
A vague idea of what to expect

Is it curtains already
I haven’t learned my lines
Is it curtains already
I just thought that we’d have more time

A missed call with a message attached
“We need to talk when you have a chance”
I stood frozen in that Gainesville venue
Not knowing how to react

Is it curtains already?
I haven’t learned my lines
Is it curtains already?
I’ll improvise

Not surprising I put off the call
Socialized and put up a wall
Anything to prolong the chances
Before confirming she was really gone
I crossed SW 2nd Street
Made the call and stared at my feet
“She passed away about an hour ago
While you were onstage living the dream”

I'm begging you all, please please reblog and tag Taylor in this

It just hit me that Taylor’s been with me for over ten years. I can’t believe how much I’ve grown in those years and how much I owe to her.
~
I was eight when “Taylor Swift” came out. I had just started school, and I was happy, as most eight year olds would be. I listened to it so much even though I couldn’t relate to many songs at all. I loved Our Song. I would always put on the southern accent whenever I would sing it, I loved that song SO much. I would listen to “Taylor Swift” on repeat for days on end.
~
I was ten when “Fearless” was released. I bought it the weekend after it came out. I remember loving The Best Day soo much. I think that would have to be the first song I ever really connected to. I was bullied in primary school (elementary for you Americans) and the only person who helped me through it was my mum. She always made me happy, especially after coming home from school everyday. The Best Day and Change were my anthems all through school. No matter what I went through, I felt for the first that Taylor was with me through it all.
~
“Speak Now” came out when I was twelve. I was in my final year of primary school. I was probably the happiest I had ever been. I was a school leader, I moved up to a higher level in my dance classes and I had more friends than ever. My life was really starting to look up, so I thought. I felt so connected with Taylor that year too. I would have “Speak Now” on repeat what seemed like every day after school. Mine, Sparks Fly and Speak Now were my anthems for a good year. Not because I was dating anyone, but because they were happy, like me.
When I was thirteen, I started high school. I went from knowing everyone by name to knowing no-one. None of my primary school friends went to the same high school as I did. I went from a school with a total of 200 kids to a school with over 1,000. It was hard. It was stressful. It was awful. I was relentlessly bullied that year. I didn’t fit in with many people in my year at all. I went from having over 15 friends at school to only being able to count them all on one hand. I wasn’t popular, I wasn’t cool and I wasn’t missed when I’d miss a day. That year was hard for me. I went from being happy to being so distressed all the time. Taylor would always make me happy. I discovered a new side to me that year. I listened to Dear John every day after school. It worked for me, it was a good song for me to cry too. I also rediscovered “Fearless” that year. Change became my favourite song. It spoke to me on a level I’d never be able to explain. I also loved Long Live. In 2011 I had already loved Taylor for five years, which seems like a long time when you’re thirteen! I promised Taylor I would never leave her, because she’d never left me.
~
In 2012 the album I needed more than I knew came out. “Red” was the thing I needed to keep going. To push on. I was fourteen and life was awful that year. The bullying got so out of hand that I had to move schools. The only good thing that happened that year was that I rekindled with my old primary school friends at my new school.
I didn’t think at fifteen that life could get any worse. In early 2013 I became really ill. It seemed as though I was sick every week, which as a result made me fall behind in my school work and miss regular classes. The doctor finally did a blood and discovered I had CMV. Basically, it’s the same thing as glandular fever. I was constantly tired, and my muscles ached really bad non-stop for three months. It was so bad that I couldn’t continue my studies for a whole term at school. I had CMV on and off for over eight months.
In August 2013, after most of my symptoms had gone I continued experiencing chronic fatigue and achey muscles. The doctor referred me onto a pain specialist who diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia. It means chronic fatigue plus pain everywhere. I had a slightly different case to most people as my pain is a constant 9.5/10. No matter what I did nothing made the pain worse… or better.
I thought about giving up on more times than not, but Taylor saved me, Red saved me. I’ve never been so low in my life but I got through it all thanks to my best friend Taylor and Red. They both got me through so much.
I had missed so much school that I had to be pulled out and study at home via distance education. That was the start of it all.
~
On December 14th 2013 I attended my first Taylor Swift concert. After eight years of loving her I couldn’t conprehend how lucky I was to be able to see her live for the first time. My older sister took me (even though she’s told me repeatedly she doesn’t like Taylor. How?!?!) In the bathrooms before the show started I had a breakdown. I’m absolutely terrified of guns and bombs and was petrified of something happening during the show. Once Taylor came out, all my worries/anxieties/problems disappeared. Literally. The next two hours were the best two hours of my life. I didn’t stop dancing or singing or screaming out of happiness until the show ended. Even after the show ended I was soo happy and filled with so much adrenaline. I hardly slept that night because I couldn’t believe I just witnessed the girl I’ve loved since I was eight, live on stage doing what she loves.
~
From that day forward I promised myself I would never stop loving Taylor, because she’s given me so much happiness of which I wish to give back to her as many times as I can.
~
The following October, “1989” was released. I don’t think I had ever been that excited for an album ever, apart from Red because that was announced and released at the perfect time. The day “1989” came out I was at a very important dance competition, so despite trying, I couldn’t miss it and stay home and just soak in all of “1989.”
My dad has always loved Taylor. He loves that she makes me happy and loves how much I love her, he also knows how great a role model she is. As I was travelling to the competition the “1989” album release day, despite me already having preordered multiple copies of it, he offered to go down to the local CD store as soon as they opened to buy me another copy of it. He was at the store before they opened, and when they opened he was the first customer in the store. He knew straight away where to find it and bought the very first copy of 1989 that store sold.
When I got home from the competition (we placed second in two items in case you’re interested, one of which I had a featured role in) I went straight to my room where all my brand new 1989 cd’s were and put one on straight away. I spent the rest of the day listening to it non stop for over six hours. Just over a year later I began the greatest weekend of my life to date. I was lucky enough to get tickets to the final two shows of the 1989 World Tour, in Melbourne. Even though I didn’t have tickets to the first Melbourne show, I decided to go in anyway as my friends were there and I really wanted to see them all get so hyped before the show. We had a little picnic and heard Taylor sound check Red. (at this point you should know how much that means to me)
The next day I went in early whilst my sister was at school so I could be closer to my favourite people in the world. My friends and Taylor.
Later that afternoon my aunty and sister arrived for the show.
I’ve never been as happy as I was in that moment. I’ve never been able to describe it but Taylor’s Clean speech that night really resonated with me. She has this magical power that makes you feel like it’s just you and her there. Like it’s just you two talking as friends rather than in a stadium full of 30,000 people. I did not stop screaming and crying and dancing that whole night. Then she played “Fifteen” for her surprise song. I screamed so loud because it took me back to 2013, when I was fifteen. It’s actually magical because when I went to the Red Tour she played it, I was fifteen and then at 1989 when she played it my sister was fifteen.
The second night was even better. (I didn’t know it was possible) My sister and I had seats in section D on the floor directly in front of the catwalk. That night was much like the first in the sense that I didn’t stop crying or dancing the entire night. That Clean speech resonated with me so much as well, just because of the point I was at in my life. Then it was time for the “surprise” song if you will. From the first guitar chord she played I knew it was Long Live. I immediately dropped to the floor and started crying like I’ve never cried before. I screamed every single word of it SO loud, because that’s our anthem. I’ve never ever been that happy, ever. I haven’t been anywhere near that happy since then, and I never will until I meet Taylor one day.
~
That next January everything went down hill again. I had to stop my dance classes and stop studying via distance even. My pain and fatigue had never been more dominant and I was constantly in a world of pain.
Nothing at all has changed since then. My stamina has severely declined and I can no longer go on shopping trips with friends or even go take a walk with my dog at the local park.
~
I had my 19th birthday just under a month ago and I spent the day watching Journey to Fearless and the Speak Now World Tour live with one of my closest friends then had a night out with my family for dinner. That birthday means so much to me because I was surrounded by (most of) the people I love the most.
Today I’m barely getting by. I’ve never been lower emotionally and never been in so much pain or so tired. I’m so emotionally and physically drained and I’m struggling to find things that make me smile everyday. I’ve never needed Taylor more than I do today which also makes me more thankful for her each and every day. She’s probably the only reason I’m still here today and I’ll never be able to ever thank her enough for that. She’s my best friend, my life, my love and I hope more than anything that one day I get to meet her in person. I hope so much I get to thank her for absolutely everything. Tied Together With A Smile from her debut album “Taylor Swift” is the only song I’ve had on repeat recently in my head recently. Because that’s my life.
There’s this quote I’ve had as my lock screen the past year, “one day someone is going to hug you so tight that all of your broken pieces will stick back together.”
Everything in me believes that will be the case when I meet Taylor, because I feel like she’s the only person who’s always been there for me, no matter what.
~
As I had to leave school, I eventually drifted away from all my friends there. I don’t speak to any of them anymore. The only friends I have now are those I’ve met online because of Taylor. If it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be here today which is yet another thing I have Taylor to thank for. Taylor Swift is the only reason I am still here today, and I really hope I get to thank her and hug her in person someday. @taylorswift

Respectful-Lee (in defense of one Charles Lee)

Before you read, please understand that this is all just my opinion and perception. This rant isn’t attacking anyone, it’s just commenting on things I’ve seen and read in the past.

Warning: Mild Swearing

Foreword

It’s been a little over eight months since I listened to the Hamilton soundtrack for the first time. That simple action was a monumental part of my life, not only musically, but artistically and socially as well. I’ve been drawing historical figures I wouldn’t have known about otherwise daily, and I have met so many wonderful people through this musical and this era in general. It’s been a wonderful experience, and I truly am lucky to be alive right now.

However, for every part of this community that makes me happy, there is a part that deeply saddens me.
Today, I’d like to address one of those parts:

The treatment of Major General Charles Lee.

Personal Categorizing

Now, I’ve listened to Hamilton countless times. The first couple times I listened to it, I was a little overwhelmed with all the characters and figures being portrayed and sung about. The style of music relays so much information and character at once that it takes a moment to process everything you are hearing. I couldn’t exactly find any characters to hold onto the first couple times I listened. However, now, the characters are quite clear to me.

In short, I like to group the existent characters of Hamilton into two categories: the “Main Characters” and the “Eight Minuteers”.

The Main Characters group is pretty self-explanatory. Heck, you could probably list all the main characters from Hamilton off the top of your head. These are the characters who do the most; the ones that sing a good handful of songs as well as change and develop over the course of the show. Characters including the likes of the Rev Set, the Schuyler Sisters (excluding Peggy), the Democratic Rebuplicans, and Washingdad. All of these characters have their own rising and falling arcs, whether noticible or subtle, and are usually the ones latched onto most by the common public.

Now onto the Eight Minuteers, as I call them. The name stems from probably the most popular character of its kind, King George III. In all, KG3 gets about eight minutes of stage time, a low-key joke in the Hamilton community and even in the cast itself. The “Eight Minuteers” label refers to characters that have about eight minutes or less of stage/singing time, characters like the aforementioned KG3, as well as Samuel Seabury, Maria Reynolds (though, I consider her, and Phillip to an extent, to be more middle of the road), George Eacker, Charles Lee, James Reynolds, and Peggy Schuyler (in all honesty, William P. Van Ness and Nathaniel Pendleton could also count, but they didn’t have any singing or speaking lines despite their stage appearances, and then we’d be getting to the category of “Historical Figures Mentioned but Established as Not Relevant”).

If there is one thing every Hamilton character has in common, it’s that there is a generally accepted portrayal and design for each character, modeled after their OBC actor.
However, there is a slight disconnect with some of the portrayals of the Eight Minuteers…

“Generalizing”

There are two very major things in common between all of the characters I consider Eight Minuteers.

First, and probably most noticeably, is that all of them (besides Peggy) are perceived and seen as obstacles to the star, Alexander Hamilton. Please note how I referred to them as “obstacles”.

Second, and probably something that flies under the radar for a lot of people, is that these characters are very one-dimensional in the context of the show. With only one to three songs to work with for these characters to establish themselves, they are very flat, and usually exist to fulfill a single purpose in the context of the story, however big or small.

Do I have a problem with this? Of course not! The show is called “Hamilton”, and largely focuses on Alexander himself, as well as Aaron Burr and Elizabeth Schuyler. There will always be minor characters in media.


What I do have a problem with is how these Eight Minuteers are portrayed outside the musical, in fan works, be it art or writings or AUs.

Out of all the Eight Minuteers, Charles Lee seems to have it the worst. So, let’s talk about him, shall we?

Angry Lee

Besides KG3, Charles Lee is probably the Eight Minuteer with the most time devoted to him. He gets about two to three songs, give or take (he speaks in the Meet Me Inside Workshop, and he is present in about half of it), which is rather generous, considering the time the other Eight Minuteers have to establish themselves.

What do we find out about Charles Lee throughout “Stay Alive”, “Ten Duel Commandments”, and “Meet Me Inside”?

Well, we learn quite a few things, in fact, and here is what I perceived my first time listening through:

-he’s a general (wheee!!)
-he seems to take his title for granted
-he is confrontational
-he makes some lackluster military calls
-he dislikes Washington and his authority
-he actively speaks out against Washington and his authority
-he is honorable, accepting John Laurens’ challenge to duel
-he has some sort of friendship/connection with Burr, as he agrees to be Lee’s second
-he is a little cocky and overconfident
-he shows weakness at times

Now, this was just my perception of Lee. Keep in mind, I hadn’t researched him at all the first time I listened through that trifecta of songs. This is the character I saw and envisioned.

Now, tell me, from those traits, do you get “furious, raging asshole who hates literally everyone”?
Because I sure as hell didn’t get that.

Yet, I see this gross portrayal of Lee literally e v e r y w h e r e.

And it’s saddening.

Reasoning(?)

Despite how disgusting this portrayal of Lee is to me, I can sort of understand why people write and draw him this way…? But it is quite a stretch.

Historically, Charles Lee was known to have a temper, known as “Boiling Water” to the Mohawks He could be very temperamental at times. Previously a British colonel, he, as well as his friend Horatio Gates, believed in their talents and were under the presumption that they knew best. Bold words, as they turned out to be two of the worst generals in terms of the American cause, however.

Was Lee’s infamous temper really captured in Hamilton so well to elicit such a gross interpretation?

Extremism and extrapolating without further research is never a good idea.

Researching the Truth

“Limitation” is the perfect word to describe the Hamilton fandom’s treatment of the Eight Minuteers.
Characterizing these real historical figures based on their few minutes of stage time in a two hour-long musical?? Perfect.

Too bad it’s not.

Charles Lee is a villain. He opposed and stood in the way of Hamilton and Laurens, bad-talked Washington, and was apparently “inexperienced and ruinous”.

If only it were that simple. In detail, I wish to describe why characterizing him based on these events is foolish in terms of historical research as well as in the narrative.

1. Lee’s Washington Issues

One thing I always thought was a little lackluster in the musical was the portrayal of the war. Besides “Right Hand Man” and “Stay Alive”, the nitty-gritty of the war isn’t really shown. Of course, it’s only in Hamilton’s perspective, and we gotta make it to the political side of things by Act 2, but this always bothered me.

George Washington isn’t Jesus. There is a huge misconception that Washington was literally the best the Revolution had to offer, but this simply isn’t the whole truth. Yes, he was a really good general, and what he did was very noble and historical indeed, but a lot of history classes and the like focus on the few victories opposed to the many, many loses Washington suffered. Not to mention, the shaft several other generals receive in comparison to Washington, including the likes of Nathanael Greene, Henry Knox, and, dare I say, Benedict Arnold.

Lee’s dislike for Washington was actually mutual with many others at the time, including militia, soldiers, and congressmen bummed out at the lack of victories on the American front, as well as with his fellow general, Horatio Gates, and Joseph Reed. Washington wasn’t always the best, and several of his actions were quite questionable.

And what did Lee do?

Questioned it. Spoke out against it. Exercised his freedom of speech against questionable authority, a right the entire country was currently fighting for.

Sure, Lee wasn’t the best himself and deserves criticism just as much, but times were tough back then. Disagreeing with Lee’s beliefs shouldn’t be taken out on him in this demonizing way. If Washington deserves every bit of respect for everything good he did, then he deserves every bit of criticism for the wrongs he sometimes did as well.

And that’s what Lee did, criticized.

2. “Inexperienced and Ruinous”

“Hang on, how many men died because Lee was inexperienced and ruinous?”

I hate Hamilton for saying that… so much that I want to write a coffee shop AU fanfic DEMONIZING HIM!!

Jk, fighting this situation with forced irony isn’t doing anyone any justice.

Anyways, this line from “Ten Duel Commandments” has also been contorted in a way that gives free reign on hating Lee. However eloquent Hamilton can be with his words, he’s just plain wrong with this statement.

The Battle of Monmouth was on a scorching hot day, and Lee had his doubts when his section of the army was closing in on the British. He retreated after the first volley of gunfire, sensing danger on his own terms, resulting in humiliation, arrest, and a court martial. Men died that day, but I can only imagine how many men’s lives were saved on that day thanks to Lee’s cowardly decision.

The claims of Lee being “inexperienced and ruinous” are stretches, to say the least. It sounds to me like Hamilton himself was part of his own fandom, hating on Lee.

The word “inexperienced” is just a loaded lie, though, I wouldn’t be surprised if Hamilton knew this and purposefully used this word to belittle Lee. Lee was anything but inexperienced, as he was part of both the British and Polish army before joining the Continental army, as well as fighting in the Seven Years’ War. He definitely wasn’t lacking in experience.

Describing Lee as “ruinous” has a different connotation, I will admit. However, describing Lee’s faults as “ruinous” would only be fair if actions and wrongdoings by other the generals were categorized in the same way. Everyone did things that they probably regretted back then. Wartimes are tough and are very different than peaceful times; a small decision can mean life or death for many people. Lee, and all the other generals for that matter, didn’t just make decisions based on the moment, but also based on how they thought they would be perceived in the present and future. But, sometimes, lives on the line mean more than perception.

My apologies, Lin-Manuel Miranda, for systematically dissecting this specific line of dialogue that you probably just phrased in this way so it could rhyme.

3. Opposing Ham and Turtle

This could be tied to Lee’s opposition with Washington, as said opposition is what causes him to be in hot water with Hamilton and Laurens, but, jeez, does this last point really seal the deal as to why Lee is treated so harshly, yet shouldn’t be treated so harshly.

He opposed two main characters, oh boy. Spoke out against their dad, got challenged to a duel, got shot. Living the dream.

Now, I have no idea if Hamilton and Laurens are the key ingredient to this demonizing, but they definitely seem to be the icing on the cake.

I’d like to kindly remind you of a certain word I used to describe the Eight Minuteers earlier. What was it again… oh, yeah!

Obstacle.

“a thing that blocks one’s way or prevents or hinders progress.”

Charles Lee was an obstacle in Hamilton’s (and to an extent, Laurens’) path. His promotion didn’t allow Hamilton into a higher position, and his actions continuously pissed our starring man off.

But, in being an obstacle, did Lee do any good?

H e c k  y e a h .

For Laurens, look no further than his line, “I’m satisfied” following their duel. Arc complete in terms of Laurens’ development in the show, as well as contributing to much bravery and self-sacrifice following later on.

For Hamilton, Lee was an obstacle to overcome and strengthen his opposition to authority that he didn’t believe in, something to comes into play much throughout Act 2.

Lee was even used to forward a learning experience for the audience. Through Lee, and “The Ten Duel Commandments”, we learn about duels and the main etiquette surrounding it, something that really comes into play during Act 2 (rip my tears).

Speaking of Lee and duels, narratively, his role concerning duels is v e r y important. During “Ten Duel Commandments” and “Meet Me Inside”, Hamilton and Burr are in the position of seconds, onlooking the duel with curiosity and vigor, but this also cruelly foreshadowing their own demises. Their attitudes on duels change very much between this time and the famed duel that Hamilton and Burr, themselves, are directly part of (even between now and Phillip’s duel, to an extent). Burr’s attitude especially; I argue it’s the focal point of the musical as much as Hamilton himself is, as Burr transforms from a wormy negotiator, trying to defend both Lee’s and everyone’s sense of honor, to an honorable yet flawed murderer.

So, in short, Lee’s opposition and existence was a driving narrative force in three main characters’ personal arcs. Considering the emotional weight of the climax that the entire musical builds up to (aka “The World Was Wide Enough”), Lee is very, VERY important.

His opposition was important.

And, to be an opposition, he needed character.

An arguably despicable character, yes, but he served a very noble purpose, both in history and in the musical.

Demonizing and Villianizing

Demonize (v) - to portray as wicked and threatening.

Why? Why do this to him?

There is one last, major point I would like to bring up concerning Lee, and it involves about a certain question that is asked a lot in the Hamilton community:

Who is the true villain in Hamilton?

I see a lot of blogs and polls asking and discussing it, and they usually are very interesting. Most lists include the likes of KG3, James Reynolds, and George Eacker, and, those few, interesting fans that point out that Hamilton, himself, could be considered the villain of his own musical.

However, sometimes I see a certain someone also discussed… yep, my boi Charles Lee.

I’ll be as blunt as Eacker was at seven: I hate it when people say that Charles Lee was or might’ve been a villain, because he really wasn’t, folks.

If my huge historical paragraphs earlier didn’t convince you of such, let me put something into perspective for you:

In the context of the musical, compare Lee to KG3, Eacker, and Reynolds.

Compare a general who was speaking his mind and made a few military mistakes to a king who was a tyrannical ruler, a man who was a blunt, alleged murderer, and a con man who manipulated and blackmailed people for money.

…see the difference?

I hope so, because I sure as hell see a difference.

So, why do I care?

Honestlee (LOL I’M FUNNY), my want and drive to protect Lee in this regard stems from a couple things:

Firstly, I always have had an intense appreciation for minor characters in many forms of media. They may be “minor characters”, but they aide the story in huge ways with their contributions. Lee just happens to be at the forefront for me, but I could have defended any of the other Eight Minuteers in a similar regard if I wanted to. Lee also seems to be treated with the most, ah, vigor in the fandom(?), out of all the Eight Minuteers.

But, most importantly to me, my drive to protect him through my words and research comes from my respect for the real dude.

The real Charles Lee.

As much as I love Jon Rua, he isn’t the real Lee.

All the people in the musical were real, and the musical, itself, is just a glorified historical AU.

Charles Lee was a real person, with real feelings and real actions. His personality shouldn’t be constrained to that of a few lyrics and a couple songs. And research concerning him shouldn’t be limited to his love of dogs and his anger management issues.

Lee had a very long and interesting life, and, like it or not, he helped with the American cause. For that, he has my utmost respect, as does everyone else who served during those tough times. And, as such, I try to portray him in a way that doesn’t glorify only a single part of his personality.

Conclusion

So, you might be asking, where am I going with this? Am I going to police all content produced about Lee so he is portrayed to my liking? Am I going to flag and block people who don’t portray him correctly? Am I now a LJW, a Lee Justice Warrior??

N o .

I’m for freedom of speech, especially in the writing and artist world. Write and draw Lee however you please. We all perceive thing differently, and I respect that, at the very least.

My intention with this blog/rant was just to call to attention the way Lee has been treated, and how this portrayal can be seen as rude and disrespectful, to an extent.

To be fair, shipping him with fellow generals and colonels is also kind of disrespectful… but the entire Hamilton fandom is filled with gay, so what can you do? Hhh I’m not beside all of this, I’ll fully admit.

Long story short, please, take into consideration the real lives and personalities of the Eight Minuteers (and the main characters, as well) before you write and produce content concerning them. Present them as characterful and multifaceted, just as they are portrayed in the musical. Before shelving them as villains or throw-aways, research them; learn about them. 

A lot of us wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for them.

Love ya, Charles Lee.

–Flygonnie

*special thanks to my dear @history-enthusiasts for the lovely artwork*

3

One of the things I ADORE about Lin and everybody involved in Hamilton is how they are able to take the germ of an idea and transform it, grow it into ART.

Here we have a Tweet from less than a month ago asking why Hamilton’s other kids weren’t featured in the musical, and Lin’s amusing reply that if the OP wants to see eight kids on stage, they should watch The Sound of Music.

Fast forward to today’s #Ham4Ham show, and Lin and Morgan Marcell have created seven new raps for the rest of Hamilton’s kids, performed by the cast of Fun Home, concluding with Philip #2 singing a reimagined verse of “So Long, Farewell“ from The Sound of Music, outside the Richard Rogers Theatre.

This is such a perfect example of the creativity and genius that drives this show.

Enneagram Type 8: The Challenger

The Self-Confident, Decisive, Willful, Confrontational Person

Healthy. Self-assertive, self-confident, and strong, healthy Eights have learned to stand up for themselves for what they need and want. Action-oriented, with a can-do attitude and inner drive They love a challenge and are resourceful self-starters, taking the initiative and making things happen. Tenacious and robust, they value independence and foster it in others. Strong-willed, impassioned people of action, they communicate simply and directly — ”what you see is what you get.” Eights are natural leaders that others respect and turn to for direction: decisive, authoritative, and commanding. Earn respect by being honorable, by using power constructively, by championing and protecting people, by acting as providers, sponsors, mentors, and promoters of worthwhile causes and valuable enterprises. Seek justice and fair play, and have a positive vision for their world. At their best: Become compassionate and magnanimous, merciful and forbearing, mastering themselves, carrying others and fulfilling others’ needs with their strength. Empowering, gentle, and inspiring, have the courage to be openhearted. Truly fearless, they are willing to put themselves in jeopardy to achieve vision: possibly heroic and historically great. 

Keep reading

Stages of a Relationship: 11/10 - Epilogue

Hi guys! Here it is, finally. The final and last part of Yoongi’s SOAR series. I can’t believe it’s over. I hope you guys like it. 💜

Stage One: Initiating - Stage Two: Experimenting - Stage Three: Intensifying - Stage Four: Integrating - Stage Five: Bonding - Stage Six: Differentiating - Stage Seven: Circumscribing - Stage Eight: Stagnating - Stage Nine: Avoiding - Stage Ten: Terminating


Sometimes, a relationship can revisit a stage. That means that termination does not always mean the end.


Originally posted by jeonsshi


“I can’t believe Jin is engaged,” his tone was very casual as he spoke to you. He came to stand beside you as you leaned against the railing of the balcony. You could feel his intense stare on your face but you refused to look up at him.

The conversations of the party goers fade into a background white noise. You were itching to go back inside and put some distance between you and him. You wanted to escape his overwhelming presence. In fact, you had only walked out onto the balcony to avoid him once you saw he arrived to the party. You hadn’t expected him to follow you out. You were too sober for this.

The cold night wind picks up and blows against your bare shoulders. Goosebumps raise on your skin and shivers travel through your spine. The wind that brushed against your face carried his pine scent. You breathed it in, ashamed by how much you missed the smell. The bottles of cologne you bought to mimic the smell just didn’t live up to the scent when it came off of him.

“You still can’t remember to bring your jacket?” he chuckled. He slid his coat off and draped it over your shoulders. He chuckled lightly. The action seemed so natural, as if it hadn’t been 2 months since you last spoke.

“Thanks,” you mumbled into the collar as you discreetly inhaled his scent. Why did he always smell so good? It was hard to concentrate. “Jin seems happy,” you responded to his first statement to be polite, although you kind of missed talking to Yoongi at these parties. In the back of your mind, you were trying to think of ways to escape this conversation. In the back your mind, you we’re also thinking of ways to never have this conversation end.

“Are you?”

The questions caught you off guard and slightly confused you. Your head snapped up to look at him. His eyes held a twinge of despair. You opened your mouth to answer but ended up choking on your words. “W-What?”

“Are you happy?” he repeated.

“I’m…” You hesitated. Half of you wanted to lie and claim that you were happy and satisfied without him - the prideful part of you. Because it was so obvious with the way was staring at you, that he wasn’t simply asking you if you were happy in just that moment, but rather if you had been happier since you last saw him. The other half of you wanted to cry that you weren’t happy, that you just wanted him back, that you spent the last two months crying at k-dramas and eating ice cream. You took a deep breath before answering him. “Not really,” you whispered, your gaze fell off of his face and onto the ground. “But I will be, eventually. Right?”

“I miss you.” He spoke so quietly that at first you thought it was just the wind.

“Yoongi-”

“Let me talk, please,” he pleaded as he interrupted you. “You didn’t give me a chance last time. Just listen to me.” His hands softly gripped at yours, as if he thought you would fall apart at too much pressure. “Listen to me, and if after all I say, if you want, I leave you alone.”

You couldn’t articulate a response. You could hardly think. He took your silence as an affirmative.

“I can’t really say you ending us was a real surprise. I knew that things weren’t okay for a while now. I saw that you weren’t  happy. But I thought you were as committed as I was. I thought I could focus on getting to the top of my music and then I could fix us. I thought you would stick around.” He took in a deep breath and evened out his breathing. You could see that he was trying to control his emotions, trying not to get to worked up, trying not to yell. “I shouldn’t have assumed. I put you second to my music and I regret it. I’m sorry. My music doesn’t mean anything without you.” He dropped you hand to tug at his hair. “But like damn it, you never told me otherwise. You never fought with me for just brushing you aside. You never told me that I was making you unhappy. I thought you understood my methods. I thought you were okay with it.”

“You thought I would be okay with being second to music. You thought I was okay with feeling as if you didn’t care about me?” You questioned with a scoff as you crossed your arms. “I would be okay with you canceling dates so you could record a song that won’t even make it onto an album?”

“You never told me otherwise!” He argued with a growl. He took a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I would cancel a date and I expected an argument. Sometimes I wanted you to argue, to yell at me or something because I knew I was being an asshole-”

“Then why’d you do it? Why cancel a date or meeting my mom when you knew it was an asshole thing-”

“Because You were always okay with it. I see now that you really weren’t, but in that moment you always said that it was okay. You never even brought it up after the fact. How was I supposed to know otherwise?” He argued back. “You always said ‘okay’ and ‘work hard’. I thought you were okay. I thought we were okay!” He angrily kicked at a plant causing it to spill dirt all over.

You gasped and jumped back. The glass door of the balcony is yanked over. The conversations of the party died out to whispers.

“Why didn’t you tell me how you really felt? Why didn’t you tell me that you were unhappy?” He questioned. You could tell by the way his shoulders were slumped that he felt defeated. “I would ask you if you were okay, and you never told me otherwise. Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you trust me?”


Yoongi words echoed in your mind all week. You stared at the ceiling in bed. A heavy sigh escaped you lips as sleep evaded you.

After that incident, you hadn’t been able to answer him. You didn’t know why you never told him. You didn’t know why you kept it all to yourself. You didn’t know why. You didn’t have an answer to give him. So you ran.

You ran passed Jin who stood by the glass door of the balcony. He probably was the one to open it to see what the commotion was about. Jin had reached out to stop you, but you avoided his grasped and ran straight out of the party. You couldn’t handle anything at the moment. You just wanted to be isolated.

You rolled over in bed to glance at your alarm clock. The bright neon green lights blinked 6 am. You heaved your body out of bed and dragged your body to the shower. Breakfast sounded good right now.


Of course, the first time you stepped into the diner in months and Yoongi is seated at your usual booth. You stopped walking and started to wish that the floor would just swallow you up whole before he saw you. But of course life couldn’t be that fair to you.

He stood from the booth the moment his eyes laid on you. You chewed on your bottom lip as you stepped backwards. You were preparing yourself to run.

“Hey! Yoongi’s girlfriend,” the waitress smiled brightly at you as she noticed you hesitating at the door. You had started to protest her statement but she continued to talk. “You haven’t been coming for breakfast for a while. Yoongi said you were busy. He’s at the usual booth,” she pointed in his direction.

“Um- I,” You were trying to say that you weren’t together with him and that you wanted a separate booth. But before you could form a coherent remark she had already started to walk towards the kitchen, telling you that she’ll have your usual order out soon.

You sighed before hesitantly walking towards Yoongi. You had an awkward smile on your face as your reached him. He was still standing as you reached him.

“Y/N,” he greeted. His eyes widened in shock.

“You don’t mind me eating with you, right?” you asked. You weren’t sure if you should sit or not. You weren’t sure if Yoongi even wanted to eat with you. What if he didn’t? How awkward would that be for him to reject you?

“Of course. Go ahead.” He gestured for you to take a seat across from him.

You slowly sunk into the seat. Your body was tense as you sat. Yoongi was still standing; he stared at you. It was as if he couldn’t believe that your were really there, as if he was scared to blink, scared that you would disappear in a cloud a smoke. He swallowed as he slowly lowered himself to his seat.

You gave him a tensed smile before turning your gaze to the window. Yoongi played with the salt and pepper shakers on the table. The silence was draining and tense.

“What are you doing here?” you finally asked, breaking the silence.

Yoongi sat up in his seat. His jaw dropped and his eyes widened. He hadn’t expected you to talk to him. He cleared his throat and bashfully stared at the checkered table. “It’s Tuesday,” he whispered.

“Tuesday…” You repeated. The words were heavy in your mouth. You weren’t sure what to make of it.

“We came here every Tuesday,” he explained.

“I know that,” you snapped as you glared at him. “I’m not stupid.”

“I wasn’t-”

“So you decided to keep up our tradition when we are broken up when you couldn’t even do it when we were together?” You scoffed. “How is that any fair?”

“How is it fair that you place all the blame on me?” Yoongi argued. “You have just as much fault in this as I do.”

“I should just go,” You moved to get up. Yoongi reached out for you.

Before any of you could really move, the waitress had came back and placed your food on the table. You sighed before falling back in your seat. Yoongi’s hand recedes.

You both sat and ate in silence.

The waitress came back with your check as you finished you meal. She hands the bill over to Yoongi as she has done every time before.

“Could we get a sep-” You’re attempt at requesting at a separate check is foiled as Yoongi slides his credit card into the booklet and hands it back to her. Your jaw dropped at the action as you huffed angrily. She walked away with the check. You glared at him before digging your wallet out of your purse. You shoved a handful of bills in his direction.

“You don’t have to pay me back,” Yoongi protested as he tried to give you your money back.

“We aren’t together anymore. You don’t have to pay for me,” You argued. You shoved the money back at him. He had no obligations to pay for you. You weren’t his girlfriend. You weren’t anything to him anymore.

“But I want to.” He sighed as he grabbed your wallet to place the money back. “Just let me do this for you.” He gave you back your wallet. You took it back hesitantly. You still wanted to argue with him, but the look on his face was so serious.

“Why are you doing this?” You asked, your voice filled with defeat. You placed your wallet back in your purse. “Why are you-”

“Is everything okay here?” the waitress asked as she brought Yoongi back his card. She looked at the both of you, for the first time feeling the tension between the two of you. She seemed surprised at the way you were glaring at each other from across the table.

You immediately go silent. Yoongi blinked at the waitress as he took his card back. “Yeah, we’re fine…” he answered bitterly. The waitress glanced between the two of you, obviously not believing the words but decided to not push it.


“So did you have fun at my engagement party?” Jin asked when he brought you some groceries. He had taken up the habit of bringing you groceries after he heard about your break up with Yoongi when he found out that you had ate ice cream for 3 days straight. In your defense, it was right after the break up. You were obviously functioning now and didn’t need him to bring you groceries every week, but you weren’t going to complain about the free food.

You glared at him. He obviously knew the answer. There was no need to question about your time at the party after the way you ran out of there.

“I’ll take that as a no,” he chuckled as he began to put the groceries away.

“I’m almost convinced that you got engaged just so you could get me and Yoongi in the same room together,” You commented accusingly. You leaned against the counter as you watched him move around your kitchen.

“I wouldn’t propose to a girl just so you and Yoongi could get back together,” he refuted. “That’s just stupid.” His voice was slightly shaky as he spoke. It made you suspicious for a second, until you realize the logic in his statement. Who would marry a girl just to get his friends together? There’s no way Jin proposed just for that.


“So have you guys made up yet?” Hoseok asked as he handed you a bottle of water. You were hunched over and panting, having just danced with him and his crew. When Jin found out you ate ice cream for three days, he was so worried for your health that he made you start dancing with Hoseok again.

You took the water from him thankfully and gulped from it. Once you got your breathing under control you responded. “No.”

His eyebrows furrowed at your answer. “Why not?” he questioned, confused. “I heard you ran into him at the diner.”

“Where did you hear that from?” You questioned. “Ah. I’m going to have such a sore body.” You groaned as you stretched out your muscles. “Why do you have to make the dance so intense? Can’t you go easy on me?”

Hoseok giggled as he massaged your shoulders. “I can’t believe you are so out of shape now.”

“I know. I know.” You sighed as you leaned into his touch.

“Yoongi told me. He said you went crazy when he paid for your food.” Hoseok explained. “Why don’t you just forgive him and make up? All he does is pine after you. It’s worse than when he first started liking you.”

You rolled your eyes and pulled away from his touch. “Can we not talk about him?” You grumbled.


You don’t usually drink so much. You don’t usually get drunk. You swayed in your seat, you swear you were just enjoying the music and it wasn’t because you were drunk. You weren’t drunk. You never got drunk.

You nursed drink number whatever in your hand. You had grown immune to the burning sensation a couple of drinks ago, which made drinking more easier. But you weren’t drunk. Even if your mind was moving a bit too sluggish for you.

“Hey, pretty lady!” A voice shouts. Before you could process that the voice was directed at you, an arm is wrapped around your shoulder. “I haven’t seen you around lately.” The voice sounded vaguely familiar as he spoke into your ear.

You looked up at the owner of the arm. A smile formed on your face as you embraced him in a hug. “Jay Park!” You shouted excitedly as you nuzzled your face into his chest. “Oh my gosh, it’s Jay Park.”

He patted your shoulder and chuckled at your answer. “Yeah it’s me…” he answered warily. “Are you drunk?” he asked.

You pulled out of the hug and pouted. “No. I’m not. I swear!” You argued. You leaned a little too much in you seat and almost fall. He reached his hands out to catch you. You released a giggle as you fixed your posture.

“You seem drunk to me,” he commented. “Where’s Agust at? Does he know that you’re drunk?” He looked around the bar to see if he could spot him anywhere despite the bad lighting and heavy crowd.

You whined and kicked your feet in a tantrum like behavior. “He doesn’t care!” You responded. “We broke up!”

“Oh…” Jay stared at you questioningly. “Are you here with anybody?” He asked. “Where are your friends at?”

“I’m alone.” You answered. You raised you hand to flag down the bartender but Jay grabbed your hand and placed it back onto the bar. “I want another drink!” You whined.

“I think you have had enough,” Jay answered. “Let me take you home.” He wrapped his arm around you waist to help you up. You shake yourself out of his hold. He pinched the bridge of his nose out of frustration. “Come on, Y/N. Let me take you home. You had enough to drink.” He tried to reason with you but only received a pout in response. “If you let me take you home I’ll…” He paused for a moment as he thought of a bribe. “I’ll give you free tickets to my next show,” he tried. He didn’t expect it to work, but surprisingly you jumped out of your seat.

“Let’s go!” You shouted giddily. You stumbled slightly and swayed a bit too much as you walked. Jay sighed before leaning you against him so he could support you while walking.

“Where do you live?” He asked as you get outside of the bar.

“This way!” You began to walk down the street. Jay settled to let you lead the way, hoping that you weren’t so drunk that you were lost. Leaning against him felt good. He had a nice and toned body. Maybe you could feel his muscles a bit more, you were drunk. He couldn’t get all that mad at a drunk woman for touching his biceps or abs…

You inhaled. The scent wasn’t pine. Your eyes are opened wide as you pulled away from his grasp. You shoved him away from you, startling him.

He stumbled back and barely catches his balance before he fell. “What the fuck, drunk woman?” he asked, surprised by the sudden attack.

“I can’t be with you!” You yelled as you smacked his chest. Your arms were flailing everywhere as Jay tried to calm you. “No get away!”

“What is wrong with you?” He grumbled as he managed to get a hold on both of your wrists. “Calm down. What are you doing? I’m just trying to get you home?”

“Yoongi said I couldn’t leave him for a musician!” You yelled as you struggled against his hold.

At your comment, Jay couldn’t help but break out into a laugh. He dropped your wrist as he doubled over in laughter. “That’s your problem, drunk woman?” he laughed.

You pouted at him before deciding to try to walk on your own. You swayed as you walked down the street. Jay hurried over to you and grabbed your waist to hold you up.

“Jay!” You whined as you tried to get away from him again. “Yoongi said-”

“I thought you guys broke up?” He questioned. You froze in your step. “If you broke up already, than you wouldn’t be leaving him for a musician,” he reasoned as he tried to get you to walk again.

“Oh…” You started to walk again. You shivered as the wind picked up. You smiled as you expected a jacket to be given to you. As you looked up at Jay, your smile falls as you remembered who you were with.

“What’s wrong?” he asked you.

“I’m cold,” you complained. You rubbed your arms for an added effect.

“I’m sure we are almost there,” Jay responded. “You can’t live that far, can you?”

You looked around at your surroundings. “Just one more block,” you answered. You frowned. Yoongi would have given you his jacket once he noticed you shivering. You continued walking in silence.

Jay sighed in relief as he reached the front door of the apartment. Getting you here had been tiring. “You cool now, drunk woman?” he asked as he followed you inside of the apartment.

“Is it hot in here?” You asked as you start to strip your blouse off.

Jay stopped you by grabbing hold of your arms. “You are going to kill me, drunk woman,” he said as you struggled against him.

“Don’t you want me?” you asked. “Am I not good enough for you?” You whined, you start to sniffle as tears fall out of your eyes. “I’m too ugly, huh?”

“Pretty lady, drunk woman, I’ll always be down for you,” he responded as wiped your tears away. He kissed your forehead and smiled at you, “But it’s not me that you want.” He grabbed you hand and lead you down the hallway. He opens every door until he found your bedroom.

“Come on, let’s get you in bed.” He helped settled you in. He made sure to take off your shoes and to tuck you in. “Alright, drunk woman. Do you need anything else?” he asked.

You blinked at him before shaking your head. “Thanks Jay,” you whispered out tiredly.


The bed dipped beside you. It brought you out of your dream but you were still hazy. An arm wrapped around you and pulled you in closer. You snuggled into the source of warmth. A chuckle was what brought you back to reality.

Your eyes fluttered opened. Yoongi stared down at you. You jumped back and tried to get away but he held you still. “Wh-what are you doing here?” you questioned.

He raised an eyebrow. “You don’t remember?” he asked.

You shook your head slowly.

Yoongi scoffed. “Of course,” he mumbled. “You texted me. Check your phone,” he reached behind him to grab your phone that was sitting on the end table behind him. He handed it over to you.

You nervously took it out of his hands. You swiped your finger across the screen and opened up your messages.

Y/N: I failed tonight

Yoongi: ??

Y/N: I could have had Jay

Yoongi: jay park?

Y/N: He called me pretty

Yoongi: why are you texting me about jay park be with him then

Y/N: You told me not to leave you for a musician

Yoongi: we are already broke up

Y/N: He didn’t give me his jacket

Y/N: It was so cold.

Y/N: I miss you

Yoongi: i thought you were with jay park

Y/N: I don’t want anyone but you

Yoongi: are you drunk?

Yoongi: im coming over

You looked up at Yoongi as you finished reading the conversation. You chew on your bottom lip. His hand was rubbing soothing circles into your back. You opened your mouth to protest but Yoongi interrupted you.

“You’re still drunk. Just go back to sleep. I’ll stay to make sure you don’t get sick or anything,” he mumbled as he closed his eyes. “We’ll talk in the morning.” He promised. You gulped. You stomach churned nervously about the conversation postponed to tomorrow. He sighed, “Stop overthinking it. Go to sleep.”


Morning came around. You groaned as you staggered out of your bed. “Thank gosh I don’t get hangovers,” you mumbled to yourself as you walked out to your kitchen. Your eyes were still closed as you lead yourself blindly.

“You’re up finally.” Hands grabbed you and lead you to a seat at your table.

You hummed in response. Your mind was still working a bit slow. A warm cup of coffee is placed in your hands which you gratefully slipped at. Your mind was still waking up that you couldn’t focused on the fact that someone was in your apartment.

Your eyes slowly blinked opened as your finally wake up. Yoongi was sitting across from you. He had his own cup of coffee.

Last night flashed in your mind. You cheeks warmed up in embarrassment as you stared into your cup to avoid his eyes.

“I’m…I’m sorry that you had to come over last night,” you whispered.

“If you’re going to drink, you should drink responsibly,” Yoongi scolded lightly.

“Sorry,” You repeated again. You felt like a small child getting scolded by their parent.

You sat in silence as you both finished your cups. He stood and grabbed both of your cups to wash them. Once he finished, he wiped his wet hands on his jeans before sitting back in front of you.

“Are you ready to talk now?” he asked. You sighed. “Like actually talk. None of this running away stuff again.”

“Yoongi…” you began slowly. Words seem to fail you at the moment. He reached across the table to hold you hand. “I don’t know why I didn’t tell you,” you admitted. “I don’t know why I didn’t fight with you when you would cancel dates. At the time I- I guess I thought it wasn’t worth it.”

“You thought our relationship wasn’t worth it?” he questioned. His jaw clenched. You could see that he was holding back his anger at that statement.

“No. That’s not what I mean. I mean, I don’t even know what I mean.” You tried to explain,  but how do you explain something that you don’t even understand. “I thought… I thought maybe…” You groaned in frustration. “I’m sorry,” you whispered.

“Okay,” he accepted. “I forgive you for not telling me for whatever reason that you don’t know.” He pulled his hand away from you but you grabbed it back. He raised his eyebrow at this. “Y/N, where does this leave us? Can you forgive me for not putting you first?”

“I forgave you a long time ago for that,” you admitted. “Right after Jin’s engagement party,” you mumbled out. “I realized that I couldn’t be mad at you when I didn’t speak up. I had all those chance but I just didn’t talk to you about it. I didn’t talk to anyone about it.” You pursed your lips. “I suck at communicating, okay.”

“I don’t know about that. You were pretty good at drunk texting,” Yoongi joked. You rolled your eyes before laughing yourself. “Next time, you can just drunk text me when I do something that you don’t like.”

“Next time?” you asked.

Yoongi smile dropped. His body tensed. “I’m sorry. I was just assuming that since we talked- you know- that it meant that we could try again,” he explained nervously. His stare dropped down to the table.

“Yeah. That sounds good.” You smiled. “We can try again.”

His head snapped back up to look at you. “Really?” he asked, as if he weren’t sure that you really said what you said. When you nodded, his gummy smile broke out onto his face. “I have to make a phone call real quick!” He jumped up and walked towards the living room. He pulled out his phone and began dialing a number.

You watched him curiously.

“Hey Jay.” He greeted. Your eyes widened in surprise as you moved closer to eavesdrop on the conversation. “Yeah, I’m back with her…Yeah, that was your only chance because I’m not going to let her get away again…Thanks for not giving her your jacket. It made her realize how much of an asshole you are and how I’m much better.” Your jaw dropped as he hung up the phone.

He spun around to see you watching him. “You weren’t listening were you?”

“Oh my gosh. Jay Park owes me concert tickets! Call him back to remind him! Do it now!” You were pushing his phone back towards his ear. He laughed at you. “What are you doing? Tell him. What if he was drunk and forgot?”

He used his other hand to stopped you. You glanced up at him. He was staring intensely at you and it made you nervous.

“W-what?” you stuttered out. You could feel your cheeks heating up.

He pulled you in closer to him. He slowly leaned in, giving you time to pull away. You stayed still. You could feel his warm breath against your lips as he breathed out. His eyes are still fixed on your lips. His hesitation frustrates you. You brushed your lips against his. That seemed to get rid of any doubts he had. He dropped you wrist and wrapped his hands around your neck as crushed his lips against yours desperately. Your hands fall onto his chest and gripped the fabric of his shirt. You tried to pull away to breath but his lips chased yours.

When he finally pulled away, you gasped. You panted as he smirked at you. “I missed that so much,” he admitted with his sweet gummy smile on his face before pulling you in for another kiss.


“You don’t have to keep doing this,” you complained as Jin packed away the groceries he bought for you. “Yoongi and I are back together.”

“Oh?” He dropped the can that was in his hand. He turned to look at you, “When did this happened? How? Why didn’t you tell me?” He placed his hands on his hips. “You are supposed to tell me these things! How am I supposed to keep the others updated?” he scolded.

You scoffed. “Put the groceries away,” you demanded. He rolled his eyes but got back to work. “It fairly recent,” you explained. “But you don’t have to worry about me eating ice cream as all three of my meals anymore. But I mean, if you want to keep bringing me groceries, then go ahead. I have no problem with free food.”

Jin chuckled. “This will be the last time then. It was putting a dent in my wallet.”

“So have you guys decided a date?” You asked. “I have to make sure that I keep that day free.”

“A date for what?” he questioned back. He began to gather the empty bags into one bag.

“Your wedding,” you stated as if it were obvious.

“Oh…” Jin stood up straight and glanced at you. “About that…”

“What about that?” you questioned suspiciously. You watched as Jin backed out of the kitchen. You followed after him. He broke into a run towards your door. You reached him just before he could make it out. “Jin. What did you do?” You interrogated as you grabbed the back of his shirt.

His arms were stretched out in front of him as he tried to reach the doorknob. “Y/N! Don’t be mad at me!” he pleaded as he finally gave up.

“Tell me the truth!”

“So I didn’t propose…” he explained. “It’s just you and Yoongi were so miserable and we couldn’t get you guys to talk it out. So I thought that maybe I could fake an engagement party, I knew that you guys wouldn’t back out of that. I’m sorry!”

“Oh my gosh!” You exclaimed at you let go of his shirt. He fell forward onto the ground. “I knew it!”

He rushed out the door before you could torture him.


The end.

Armenian Genocide: Stages of Genocide and Human Rights

          First documented use of the word “genocide” was in reference to the Armenian Genocide. The genocide, which took the lives of some 1.5 million Armenians living in the Ottoman empire, holds roots in their religious minority, economically prosperous nature and the ultimate collapse of the Ottoman empire. The majority of the Empire’s subjects comprised of Muslims while the Armenians were forced to endure centuries of unequal taxes and fewer political and legal rights as Christians. Despite the Hamidian Massacres of the late 1800s, which was the first attempt of the Turkish government to rid themselves of the “Armenian problem,” the Armenians thrived with high education and flourishing wealth. This livelihood fueled resentment from Turkish counterparts and quickly brewed to hatred in the form of three years of extermination as the Empire sought to quiet the voices of two million Armenians and bring an end to the source of their jealousy. The Armenian Genocide in the Ottoman Empire between 1915 - 1918 exhibited preparation and denial of the eight stages of genocide and violated human rights #4, freedom from slavery, #5, freedom from torture or degrading treatment, and #7, right to equality before the law.

         Two stages of genocide acted upon during the Armenian genocide are preparation and denial. Preparation being represented by the drawing up of the “Ten Commandments” and denial displayed through a century of Turkish refusal to openly accept that a genocide even occurred. The “Ten Commandments”, written by the Young Turks (a group for the rid of all Armenians), secretly met to construct a document carefully outlining the fate of the Armenians and how they were going to eradicate them as a whole. Each commandment is a detailed step that was to be passed between government officials, for example, number one states, “…arrest all who worked against government … and send them into the provinces … wipe them out either on the road or there” (“10 Commandments”); number five shaped that they will, “exterminated all males under 50, priests and teachers, leave girls and children to be Islamicized” (“10 Commandments”); and number eight stated, “kill off all Armenians in the Army” (“10 Commandments”). 

         The commandments communicate not only the Turkish preparation for the massacres, but their attempted motives of securing that the genocide is completely effective. The government made sure that they were well prepared to take the lives of an entire ethnic group without any room for flaws or faults. In the stages of genocide this is preparation as the “Ten Commandments” carefully outline the methods that they would later tragically follow. Despite proven information confirming a genocide occurred with the leaking of the “Ten Commandments” to the British government in 1919, Turkey maintained, to this day, that no such genocide ever happened.  Turkey adamantly denies the existence of Armenian bones littering the Syrian desert from when these people were forced onto death marches (“Battle over History”), these death marches are another thing Turkey challenges, claiming they were bones from an optional deportation and that some things “happened on the road” (“Battle over History”). They place most of their blame on the conditions of World War I and the Armenians themselves for siding with the Russians. The rumor of Armenians siding with the Russian is another example of a stage of genocide, #4, polarization which is seen from the spread of this speculation. 

         The killings, the Turkish government preserves, was never in intent, they have made about securing that the genocide remains omitted from school textbooks, classrooms and all of the records have been destroyed. In the country, it is illegal to call the slaughter of 1.5 million Armenians “genocide”. With bills passing frequently into the United States Congress for administrations to openly call the Armenian Genocide what it is, Turkey threatens they would cut ties with the United States were they to recognize the genocide publicly. Tragically, Turkey may never fully accept the responsibility for their actions. The “Ten Commandments” contains key information pertaining to the preparation of the genocide and, yet, with so much evidence stacked up against the Turkish government, they continue to deny their mass genocide and abuse of fundamental human rights provided by the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

         The Ottoman Empire throughout the Armenian Genocide completely violated all thirty human rights written by the UDHR. Two core human rights breached in the genocide were #4, freedom from slavery, #5, freedom from torture or degrading treatment, and #7, right to equality before the law. When, in the “Ten Commandments”, they write to “…leave girls and children to be Islamicized” (“10 Commandments”), they wished to keep women and young girls (some even under ten years old) alive so that they could serve as sex slaves to the Turkish soldiers, providing pleasure, comfort, forced servitude and labor. In Forgotten Fire by Adam Bagdasarian, a book illustrating the struggles of a twelve year old boy whose entire family has been murdered during the Armenian genocide, he narrates while engaging in conversation with a young Armenian girl named Seta, “She tried to tell me once, in her own way: ‘There’s no luck for Armenians,’ she said one day. ‘There’s no luck for us at all. Even the survivors are unlucky. Instead of dying once, we have to die every night” (Bagdasarian 214). What Seta is speaking of how every night Armenian women who are in slavery are raped, dehumanized and seen as only sexual objects to the Turkish soldiers. They were forced as well into sexual humiliation, rape, marriage, forced prostitution, sexual slavery and sexual mutilation as one of the objects of the genocide was forced pregnancy of Armenian women as another attempt to utterly eradicate them as an ethnicity by impregnating the women with Turkish children. The women were raped on a daily basis and many committed suicide or died from exposure or their wounds. 

         With the sexually abusive and violent treatment of the Armenian women comes the violation to human right #5, freedom from torture or degrading treatment. Counting the horrifying treatment of the Armenian women and speaking again of the thousands of Armenians forced on death marches, the Turkish refused to provide them with basic necessities needed on their long marches. The men were shoved in boxcars and others were put into concentration camps where they were later killed. In these concentration camps were horrid conditions: starvation, rape, dehydration and diseases such as dysentery. Outside of these death camps were mass shootings, rapes, crusifications, property confiscations, mass burnings and mass drownings. The Nazi party many years later would be influenced and take inspiration from the Armenian genocide while putting Jewish and Romani individuals into concentration camps and murdering them via gas chamber. 

         Unfortunately, the Armenian Genocide all began with a violation to one very vital human right: #7, the right to equality before the law. In no way were the Armenians treated as equals to the Turkish under their government. For their Christian religion, Armenians were forced to pay double taxes and were considered second class citizens (Humanities 10), neither their lives nor property were under protective security. They were denied participation in the government the Armenians being viewed under the law as second class citizens is a violations of the right to equality before the law which states that everyone is equal in the eyes of the government despite social standing, economic status, religion, expression, nationality, ethnicity or race. 

         With the denial of the Armenian genocide by the Turkish today there will cease to be justice done for their actions in the violation of three specific human rights: #4, freedom from slavery, #5, freedom from torture or degrading treatment, and #7, right to equality before the law. The sexual slavery of Armenian women and young girls, the torture and degrading acts implemented upon the Armenians and the unfair treatment of Armenians before the law will be further brushed underneath the rug as Turkey’s denial of the violations do not allow any action to be taken or repercussions given. These violations of human rights would come to haunt the world again in the late 1930s during World War II with the rise of the Nazi party and their elimination plan for Jews, Romani and others.

         In the Armenian Genocide in the Ottoman Empire from 1915 - 1918 there is multiple articles of evidence regarding two of the eight stages of genocide, preparation and denial, as well as three separate human rights violated in the genocide: #4, freedom from slavery, #5, freedom from torture or degrading treatment, and #7, right to equality before the law. The Ottoman Empire preparing for the Armenian genocide is evident from the “Ten Commandments” written years prior to the genocide and laying out the steps they will take to eradicate their “Armenian problem”. Turkey’s denial of the genocide has caused many countries to retreat within themselves when dealing with the issue as Turkey threatens to cut ties with countries who have decided to openly agree the murder of 1.5 million Armenians was in fact a genocide. This denial allows Turkey to get away scot free with the violation of three fundamental human rights in their sexual slavery of Armenian women and girls; the torture and degrading treatment they put upon them though concentration camps, starvation and dehumanizing treatment; and their execution of turning Armenians into second hand citizens under the Ottoman Empire. 

         Studying genocide could lead to insight regarding national behavior when a genocide is about to occur, this would aid in the discontinuation of genocides all together by catching it before it has happened. A study into genocide can provide others in initiating a deeper understanding of human rights and their violations around the world. With future students learning the danger of keeping silent in the face of possible signs of genocide, genocides may become less frequent in generations to come and the countless lives not stolen at the hand of such genocides can lead to more diverse world, one in which others are not prejudiced against for who they are.

The 10 Stages of a Depressed ENFP

Disclaimer: This was found on a typology forum, but no one seemed to know the original source.

Stage One: ENFP will start feeling a bit lonely and disconnected. They will think it’s just a stage that will pass, and will try to ignore it.

Stage Two: The ENFP will start feeling even more lonely, this can usually be brought about by having a hard time with family or feeling like they are insecure in their relationships in general. Stage One increases, and the ENFP will start feeling anxious.

Stage Three: The ENFP’s feeling of anxiousness will become overbearing, and they may feel extremely insecure when talking to other people. They lose the quick wit and charm they used to have. The smile will because more nervous and the laugh will become less natural. They will still be trying to convince themselves it;s just a stage that they are going through and that nothing is wrong.

Stage Four: ENFP will most likely hit shut down mode. They will not talk to other people about their feelings or what is going on unless asked specific, prying questions. They will have a really hard time talking to people and feeling like they can relate. They will start coming across as an introvert.

Stage Five: The ENFP will be extremely stressed, lonely, and emotional. May start bursting out randomly and be extremely moody. Will experience periods of highs and lows. The ENFP may start crying over something seemingly insignificant. They will do this because there is so much bottled feelings up inside and that may have been the last thing to set them off edge.

Stage Six: The ENFP will start lashing out at other people like above, but more extremely. Will most likely show complete and utter disregard for authority. They will also start hurting the people they care about, to make them back off and go away. All the while the ENFP, through the stages, will try to convince themselves that nothing is wrong and that they will get better, and thus the problem worsens.

Stage Seven: They will finally admit to themselves that there is a problem but try consciously to contradict it. They will try to force themselves to relax and be wonderful again. They will try to establish the facts- what the problems is, how it went wrong, and what to do.

Stage Eight: If it gets worse at this point, the ENFP will not be acting like themselves at all. They will not be thinking clearly, and will most likely suffer from being illogical, irrational, and as well may suffer from extreme headaches. They will give up on caring and will not pay attention to the world around them, instead focusing all of their energy into their inner world of what they feel and dwell on it. They will no longer have any motivation to care or do the things they love.

Stage Nine: Your ENFP will start enjoying dark humor ad freaking other people out for the hell of it, especially the people they care about. However, at this stage they will not do this too extremely to the people they care about because their is that small piece of the ENFP that wants to hold the relationship in tact. They will push you away and drag you back in, and become and emotional roller coaster for anyone and everyone around them. If you ask what is wrong, the ENFP will completely shoot you down unless it is in a structured environment and they think that you are somebody that they can trust. However at this point the ENFP will become extremely untrusting, so talking to them about anything is much like walking on fragile glass about to fall apart and break forever. The ENFP will hold grudges.

Stage Ten: Complete personality turnaround, the ENFP will have lost it, or will have appeared to. Complete emotional instability and recklessness. They will be completely and utterly impulsive to the point of stupidity. They will not care about their well being or anybody else’s. At this piont, the ENFP will be so far in their heads it will be nearly impossible to get through to them unless you sink to his or her own level of insanity and instability. They will have given up on life altogether, and will most likely have forgotten what it was like to really feel alive and well again.

anonymous asked:

so you think ben p deserved his tony? Cause a lot of ppl dont

Listen to me, tumblr.

Listen.

I’ve heard about this big controversy after his win and I wanted to say something but didn’t. Thank you, anon, for opening up this opportunity for me to share my feelings on the matter. I’ll say all of this once and just once so the subject can be done with on this blog. I’m putting it all under the cut so it’ll be a bit neater.

Keep reading

masterlist

Hello. Welcome to my masterlist. (Images are not mine.)


Bangtan Boys


Suga (Yoongi)

Stages of a Relationship Series: 

Stage One: Initiating - Stage Two: Experimenting - Stage Three: Intensifying - Stage Four: Integrating - Stage Five: Bonding - Stage Six: Differentiating - Stage Seven: Circumscribing - Stage Eight: Stagnating - Stage Nine: Avoiding - Stage Ten: Terminating - Stage Eleven: Epilogue

     Going through the different stages of a relationship with Yoongi

To Melt a Frozen Heart 

    Yoongi doesn’t like Christmas, but he likes you.

Excitement drabble

    Yoongi + Excitement, you won a contest

Bad Decisions drabble

    Yoongi + Bad Decisions by Ariana Grande, you just wanted to put a bandage on him

If Only

    Soulmate Yoongi AU, companion piece to Pull Me Closer.

J Hope (Hoseok)

Leave - Left (Part 2) - Home (Part 3)

    Just a lot of angst??? Too much angst

Fear drabble

    Hoseok + Fear, You did not mean to walk in on that

Jin

Glamour and Danger: 01 - 02 

    Jin Mafia AU thing, you don’t know if you’re obsessed with him or scared of him

Angst Drabble

    Jin + Angst, Jin is perfect but you can’t have him

Jimin

He Would Never

    You think Jimin is cheating on you

Jungkook

Jeon Jungkook, I’m Going to Throttle You

    Jungkook being a typical punk and reading your diary

Fated to Break

    A dysfunctional relationship, Jungkook’s an ass but you’re not any better

Rap Monster (Namjoon)

Stages of a Relationship Series:

Stage One: Initiating

    Going through the stages of a relationship with Namjoon

Versace on the Floor drabble

    Namjoon + Versace on the Floor by Bruno Mars, my sad attempt at sexy

Pull Me Closer

    Namjoon Soulmate AU, you’re soulmates but cursed by the gods, probably the best piece I’ve written

V (Taehyung)

Undercover Drabble

    Taehyung + Undercover by Kehlani, you’re in a relationship but no one can know


Seventeen


Wonwoo:

Sweater

     The first thing I’ve written?? Fluff and whatnot. You found a sweater

Jeonghan:

lazy drabble

    Lazy + Jeonghan, because he is lazy

Vernon:

Venus drabble

    Vernon + Venus by Sleeping at Last, Vernon is so awkward, I’m sorry

The8:

Shapes of You drabble

    Minghao + Shapes of You by Ed Sheeran, the fluffiest thing I have ever written

Scoups:

Moonlight Drabble

     Seungcheol + Moonlight by Ariana Grande, a late night drive

For months it has been whispered about, then in February it was announced and now it is the count down for the release of Philip Pullman’s new book!!! We are delighted to share Chris Wormell’s stunning front cover for Pullman’s ‘La Belle Sauvage: The Book of Dust Volume One’

On working with Chris Wormell, Philip Pullman says: “I’ve admired Chris Wormell’s artwork for a long time, and when the chance of having him illustrate the covers of my new novel came along I leapt at it. I relish his sure strong line and the graphic power of his images, in whatever medium he’s working. It’s been a delight to see the work emerge and I’m thrilled with the result.”

Chris Wormell adds: “Twenty years ago, my twelve-year-old son recommended a book he’d just finished reading.  It was called Northern Lights.  I loved it.  My whole family loved it, and the two further volumes of the trilogy that followed.  One of the first things my younger daughter – then eight – saw on the stage was the National Theatre’s production of His Dark Materials.  She was spellbound.  She’s loved live theatre ever since.

“It’s been wonderful to work with an author my family has enjoyed so much.  Indeed, my older daughter commented, “Wow, Dad!  Isn’t that one of the coolest jobs you’ve ever done?”

'La Belle Sauvage: The Book of Dust Volume One’ will be in bookshops on Thursday 19th October 2017, published by Penguin Random House and David Fickling. Expect midnight queues outside the bookshops -we might see you there!