Fic title: "The One That Got Away...With Murder" OR "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Dorm Room."
For the second choice:
To say finding her roommate’s boyfriend on the couch, passed out drunk, wasn’t surprising. What was strange was the fact he was cuddling a cat Darcy would call an adolescent cheetah if not for the lack of Mohawk fur.
She just kinda stares at him until she goes to bed. In the morning, he’s gone and so is the cat and she doesn’t think about it.
Then the huge cat starts following her around, no (now ex) boyfriend in sight, and she’s annoyed and kind of flattered this huge thing wants to lay in her lap and purr, bring her dead animals (gross, but it’s trying to take care of her), ad just be a pile of cuddly goo when she has a bad day.
Of course, then she’s on her way back to the dorm and the cat, suddenly, turns into her roommate, and who happens to be the goddess Bastet. And fed her ex-boyfriend to her horde of cats because he cheated on her.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”