old jupiter

triangular, i’ll mangle you
men on missions,
not priests though
belief working strange ways
lengthways across veins
and bones
elder signs
carved over doorways
and into guts
arranged tastefully
i am
every last one
of the deep
swimming gracefully
and lubbering on land
i am
every confused cousin
born out of stars
and hunted by inky blackness
i am
what sleeps at the bottom of the sea
waiting for waters and stars
to permit egress
once again.

Where is the corner so I can go cry in it?

After meeting with three contractors today I am feeling so overwhelmed and ready to lay down face first in my bed and scream.

There are so many things we didn’t even consider - apparently our framing isn’t floating, we may need to go down to the exterior wall and not just the existing drywall, we may need to rewire the whole piece of shit… oh and if we add a closet to the office we have to add an egress window.

And I had a design/build company come by this afternoon and within a few minutes of talking to her, and mentioning how I thought they may be out of our budget, she said, “Then why did you call us?” I don’t think she meant to sound like a snot, but good gracious. And later I mentioned something else and she gave me this look and I said, “Why are you making that face?!”

Anyway. Overwhelmed doesn’t really cover it. It’s the best I can do with the words I have right now.