eggstraordinary

The signs as egg puns

Aries: im b(egg)ing you

Taurus: speggtacular

Gemini: -as an egg- guess who just got laid

Cancer: egg

Leo: eggscuses eggscuses

Virgo: please leave me scrambled

Libra: thats all yolks (folks)

Scorpio: youre eggstraordinary

Saggitarius: eggsplosives

Capricorn: youre eggsactly what im looking for

Aquarius: didnt i tell you not to eggsagerate

Pisces: i cant eggsplain all that im feeling

Those Who Twice Deep Fried Him

Mr. and Mrs. Farmer were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.

And this much was true. They lived in ignorance to the goings on in the underbelly of their world, and beneath the underbellies of their chickens. As such, they had no idea of the threat that loomed over all free-range eggs, Lord Voldomelette and his Egg Beaters.

Many fought against him. They made the over hard choice to take a stand and say that those chickens who roamed outside of the confines of a cage were just as viable to produce eggscellent members of society.

One such egg was Lily Eggans. Free-range and free-spirited, she bore the name ‘Brokeyolk’ with pride. She would not take any wisecracks from conventionally-raised eggs, and James Poachtter was no eggsception. 

Keep reading