not combat rations, thats for sure. ive had enough of those for a lifetime.
but my latest food hit has been pretzel bites. pretzels are an awesome food but rarely available fresh when i want to eat them, which is usually when i’ve woken up in the middle of the night. they’re relatively labor-intensive to make, which is good once the insomnia sets in. keeps me busy. plus, pretzels are sweet on the inside, salty on the outside, just like me. except im also salty on the inside. dont listen to steve.
when i make pretzels, it’s by the metric ton, so the recipe i have makes approximately a million of them.probably you will not want this many, because you don’t have thor or steve to help you eat them. or clint. probably you could just shove some into a vaccum cleaner instead, thatd be about the same. so divide the recipe in half or quarters for normal human consumption. take 11 cups of flour, 1 cup of brown sugar, ½ cup of oil and mix. 4 cups of warm water gets 11 teaspoons of yeast and sits for a bit, then goes in the flour mix. then mix it and let it rise for about an hour. the dough should be sticky to the touch and absolutely awful to get out of your metal fingers. while you wait, wander your living area for some poor sucker to rope into helping you, because stage 2 is easier with help. or you can sit down and wonder why you talk yourself into doing things like this. consider your choices. it’s already too late to go back to sleep; youve got dough rising.
get a deep fry pan or sauce pan and fill with about two inches of water. bring it to a rolling boil on the stove and add in three or so tablespoons of baking soda. you really can’t do too much of that, as long as the water’s not getting super cloudy. preheat the oven to 400 degrees. wake steve up and tell him he has to help.
get a couple egg yolks in a bowl with a basting brush, and find some kosher salt or sea salt. grease up a few pans.
flour a surface and roll the dough out until it’s between ½ and ¼ in thick. get your poor unsuspecting minion to cut out bite sized bits. i use an inch and a half circle cookie cutter, but you can use whatever you want, really. tony used a laser cutter last time i let him help, which was…not ideal.
drop the cut outs into the boiling soda water, and let them sit for a few seconds, then fish them out. you can use your robot hand for that, but again, you’ll be getting dough out of it for days. i let them drip dry on a cookie drying sheet, but you could also drop them on a clean dishtowel i guess. you just dont want them to be wet when you put them on the cookie sheet.
they’re not gonna expand a ton, so just stuff em up close to each other on the sheet. paint the tops with egg yolks and sprinkle with salt. pop em in the oven for 10-15 min or until golden brown.
repeat the boiling-and-baking until you want to die, then keep going until you run out of dough. while the last batch is baking, take a half a stick of butter, a quarter cup of flour and make a roux in a saucepan. add two cups of milk and two cups of cheddar cheese, some salt and pepper to taste, and a quarter cup of mustard, give or take. im showing you how much to use with my hands but you cant see it. sorry, i dont really measure stuff most of the time. heat and stir till it’s melty and amazing, and dip pretzels on in there.
by the time you have completed this process and eaten as many pretzel bites as you want–and there will be enough. it’s a dang big recipe–you will want to enter a food coma and sleep forever. or for 70 years or so.
when I get rich I’m gonna pay Ngozi to reprint Check, Please! and draw me into every single frame of the comic. Every. Single. One. An Epikegster? I’m by the couch dancing b/w Olly and Wicks. Bitty and Jacks first kiss? There I am looking in the window. At breakfast I’m in an egg costume sitting snugly in Holsters bowl. My face is on the coin that decided Dex and Nurseys fate. Sometimes I can only be seen in the reflection in Jacks pupils, but you better believe I’m there.
If you have time (omg I'm sorry but this prompt in my head forever) It's 3am and they are in a community kitchen in college and one is making brownies.
Percy had just wanted to get a glass of water.
When he enters the communal kitchen, blearily rubbing sleep out of his eyes, he realises what had woken him up in the first place. One of his roommates is standing with her back to him at the countertop, cracking eggs into a large mixing bowl. The kitchen looks devastated. Shared by six people, it never looks pristine, but right now a bomb could have gone off for the state it’s in.
“Um,” he says, still disorientated from the light and noise and explosion aftermath.
She turns and swears quietly. “Sorry, I thought I was being quiet.”
She was not, but Percy won’t begrudge her that. Partially because he’s a little bit in love with her (alright, mostly, but that’s not important right now), partially because he knows he’s woken her up at least half a dozen times since they moved into the dorms three months ago.
“S’alright. Just gettin some water.”
Annabeth smiles. “Alright.”
Percy opens the mug cupboard and after several seconds of staring at its contents and coming to terms with the fact that they don’t own any glasses not made of plastic, he grabs a mug with Walt Whitman’s face on it and fills it with water from the faucet. Instead of taking it back to his room with him, he leans back against the sink and watches Annabeth squint at her phone as she holds it three inches from her face.
“You alright there?” he asks.
She doesn’t look away from her phone. “My glasses are somewhere deep within my bag and I have neither the energy or determination to find them.”
She looks at him. “Do you want to read this recipe for me or keep delivering these brilliant insights?”
He shrugs. “I feel like I could manage both.”
Annabeth hands her phone over with a roll of her eyes. Percy puts down his glass of water and shoves some of the debris aside so that he can sit on the counter top. Then he takes Annabeth’s phone and reads the title of the page.
“You need to google a recipe for brownies?”
“Alright, Martha Stewart. Just tell me what to do to make this delicious.”
a/n: I didn’t really edit, I kind of just rewrote the whole thing I already had because someone suggested this off of my list and I figured why not get to it while I have the time and the drive! So here’s some smut about being impatient and wanting to bone your boyfriend even though he’s super busy! Enjoy!
You really didn’t
want to disturb Harry.
It was rare that
he got the chance to work from his home studio. It was even rarer that you
happened to have your weekend off around the same time that he decided to stay
home and work instead of spending his days in a studio. But just because you
had the weekend off didn’t mean he could drop everything to spend all of his
time with you. You still had a lot to get done before you were back at work on
Monday though, so you tried to busy yourself the best that you could with your
little checklist. The bedroom and bathroom needed to be deep cleaned, the kitchen
needed to be reorganized, and you had your home office that needed to be set
up. The only problem was you had most of those things started on Friday evening
and finished on Saturday afternoon. That left you with a day and a half of
doing nothing, a day and half of wanting Harry desperately from afar.
(from Irish Cooking by Publications International Ltd.)
This recipe is great with whatever berries are in season near you. I like to use the honey instead of sugar to represent the fruits of our labor as well as the honey the bees make after pollinated the food. Its a very sun representative food to me as well.
4 cups plus 1 TBLS divided
½ teaspoon salt
1 cup steel-cut oats
½ tsp cinnamon
½ tsp ground nutmeg
1/3 cup half and half ( or cream or dairy substitute)
¼ cup of brown sugar or molasses
1 cup fresh strawberries hulled and quartered
6 oz fresh blueberries
6 oz fresh blackberries
3 tsp granulated sugar or honey
Boil the water with a pinch of salt, then sprinkle in the oats and cinnamon and nutmeg as its boiling. Stir until it begins to thicken, then reduce to simmer for 35-40 min. Add in the cream/non-dairy and molasses/brown sugar.
Combine berries and water in small sauce pan, add in sugar or molasses. Bring to a simmer on medium heat. Cook 8 - 9 min or until tender and the berries still hold their shape.
Decide porridge among 4 bowls and top with the berry compote.
Honey Scones -
Sounds delicious and from the same book as above. Great for Imbolc as well.
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 TBLS brown sugar (packed)
1 TBLS baking powder
6 TBLS butter, melted
½ cup old fashioned oats
1 TBLS granulated sugar
½ tsp salt
¼ cup whipping cream
¼ cup milk
1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees. While heating line the baking sheet with parchment paper.
2. Combine flour, brown sugar, granulated sugar, baking powder, and salt. Stir in the oats. Whisk the milk, cream, melted butter and egg in a separate bowl. Stir wet ingredients into dry until the dough just comes together.
Turn dough onto a floured surface and pat dough into a ¾ in thick circle. Cut the circle into eight triangles.
Arrange triangles onto the baking sheet and bake for 12 - 15 min or until golden brown. Let cool 15 and serve warm, with butter and honey.
Feast Dishes -
Here are some side dishes that I thought up or read for your feast. These will be in less recipe format then the ones above.
Savory Strawberry Salad -
½ purple onion
1 container strawberries, rinsed and sliced into ¼ inch slices
6 - 8 roma tomatoes sliced into ¼ inch slices
2 TBLS balsamic vinegar
salt to taste
Slice onions into ¼ inch quarter rings. Add to a non-reactive bowl. Add the strawberries and tomatoes.
Add balsamic vinegar and a pinch of salt.
Place into the fridge overnight, or the freezer for 1 hour.
Remove the bowl and let come to room temperature. Serve.
Spring Salad Mix -
Add a fresh made dressing to a bag of salad mix!
Try these -
honey, lime, oilive oil and dill
raspberries, balsamic vinegar, olive oil and salt and pepper
rice wine vinegar, cilantro, lime, and canola oil
lemon, dijon mustard, clove of garlic, olive oil, salt and pepper
Simple Sides -
Irish Cheddar and fresh fruit
Fire Roasted Corn on the cob
Fire Roasted Bell Peppers dipped into a creamy dressing (Ranch)
Carrots and Celery dipped into hummus
Local fresh produce, raw and ready to eat!
Red cabbage and sliced apple slaw
Main Course -
The main dish should be something that reflects the season, and your celebration. If you are having a bon fire, hot dogs, sausages and other food roasted over the fire are appropriate.
Or fire up the barbecue and grill up some some meat! Carne asada, which is a popular summer meat to grill in SoCal, it is marinated strip steak in lime and other seasonings, and great for this holiday. Also try lime and tequila marinated chicken, grilled salmon, or hamburgers.
Not going to be outside? Try roasting or broiling in the oven. A good beef roast is great, or maybe some broiled fish.
Vegatarian? try boca burgers, or other veggie burgers, grilled portabellos with cheese on top, or some seasonal veggies on the grill! I love roasted zucchini on the barbecue or in the broiler.
Do what is good to you and appropriate for your diet/nutritional needs and what is in season. Just because the ancient Irish folk ate something at this holiday, it doesn’t mean we can’t eat what we have available or even the modern equivalent of it!
Gewurztraminer with Elderberry Syrup and fresh strawberries and blackberries
May Wine - ½ cup of dried sweet woodruff leaves, 1 bottle of Riesling wine, 1 bottle of Sekt (German sparkling wine) or champagne, ¾ cups organic strawberries, chopped. And a pinch of fresh sweet woodruff flowers for garnish
Meyer Lemonade infused with lavender and mint
Fresh brewed floral tea, such as chamomile, with honey or infused 3 flower sugar, from my other post.
Desserts - I am going to make a whole separate post for Bealtaine desserts!
I hope you enjoyed my post on the foods and recipes I put together for this year’s Beltane!
Together, you and Dean managed to help Sam from the barn, into the house, and down the set of stairs in the hallway. The stairs to the basement were littered with cobwebs, and you brushed them aside as you descended. The light switch at the bottom clicked on as you slammed your palm against it, illuminating the space below with a flickering yellow light before pushing the cage door to the main room open.
Summary: The story of how you and Zach first met and became a couple
Pairing: Zach Dempsey x Reader
A/N: Tags are open, so let me know if you’d like to be tagged. Feedback is always appreciated and encouraged through the comments, ask box, or my personal messages. I would really love to hear from you guys
The sound of the
alarm screeched for you to wake up from your restful sleep. The arm that had a
firm grip on your bare waist released you to turn off the disturbing sound. You
sunk your head deeper into the pillow in hopes of falling back to sleep, but
the warm body that was against your back had left you bare to the cold. You
felt a hand give you a soft shake on your shoulder.
“Hey, Y/N,” Zach
said softly, “We gotta go if you want to try to get on the basketball team,”
You let out a groan in protest and pulled the covers closer to your body. Zach
let out a sigh in defeat, “Fine, I guess you’ll miss breakfast,”
He had your full
attention. He knew you loved food, especially breakfast food and you were very
curious about his cooking skills since he boasted about them while the two of
you were working on your project. You sat up in his bed to find him with a
shit-eating grin on his face. “I knew that would get you up,”
You rolled your
eyes and tried to hide a smile at the fact that he knew you so well. You
glanced over at the clock to find that it was 5 in the morning. “Zach, what the
hell are we doing up so early?” you groaned.
Zach had moved his
way over to his dresser. “Well, since you didn’t plan on spending the night
here,” he said as he took off his shirt that he slept in last night to reveal
his muscular back, “I was going to take you home so you could freshen up before
we head over to the school and shoot around a bit before classes start,”
You didn’t hear a
word he said; you were mesmerized by the way he put his shirt on. You knew he
had an impressive body, but seeing it up close and personal blew every
imagination that you had about it out of the water. You watched as he took out
a pair of shorts and went into the bathroom, the click of the door releasing
you from your trance.
You got out of bed
and quickly threw on the clothes that you had on the day before. You took the
shirt that Zach had given you and gave it one last whiff. You could still smell
the subtle scent of mint and you couldn’t get enough of it.
“You know if you
wanted my shirt you could have just asked,” Zach laughed at your startled
state. You obviously didn’t hear the door open and jumped when he announced his
“Uh, it’s not what
it looks like,” you stammered trying to regain your composure.
“Don’t worry about
it,” he laughed it off, “you can have it, I already have plenty,”
A small smile
crept up on your face as you quietly said thank you and stuffed the shirt in
continued with Zach fixing some scrambled eggs, pancakes, and a small bowl of
berries. You never realized somebody like him could cook as well as he could.
After breakfast, the two of you cleaned up and headed over to your house.
Because your parents still weren’t home, you let Zach in so he wouldn’t spend a
lot of time in his car. You quickly freshened up and packed a change of clothes
for your basketball session.
Zach and you drove
to the empty school a couple of hours before it actually started. You followed
Zach through the backdoor of the gym to find that it was unlocked, something
that coach always did for him when he wanted to shoot around to clear his mind.
Before you were
even allowed to touch a ball, Zach had you running up and down the court doing
various stretches to loosen up. After the first couple of runs down and back
you were slightly winded. The type of running that Zach did didn’t compare to
the running that you did on the treadmill at the YMCA. His was more a sprint
for short distances as yours was a jog for longer distances. You were yearning
for a water break.
It was almost time
for school and Zach had already had you shoot 100 shots at nearly every spot
you were able to shoot at. According to him, you had a lot of potential and had
the chance to make the team if you kept working with him. Zach’s final lesson
was shoot free throws. You stood at the foul line and did as Zach told you: one
foot slightly in front of the other with body square with the goal. You held
the ball in your dominant hand underneath the ball and the other on the side.
Zach stood closely behind you making sure that you held the ball properly.
“Alright,” he said
in your ear as he put his hands over top of yours, “just bend your knees
slightly, keep your elbow underneath the ball and close to you, keep your eyes
on the goal and shoot it like every other shot,” You did as you were told and
watched the ball release from your hand into the air and go through the goal.
You got so excited
about making your first free throw that you turned around to Zach and jumped in
his arms. Zach held onto you tightly like he did the night before. It was a
warm feeling that you thought would last forever. The two of you pulled away from
each other slightly and gazed at each other’s eyes. You felt something in you
growing like a spark that needed to be ignited and you were sure that he felt
it too. You got on your tiptoes and he leaned down to have your lips collide
into each other. It was like something you had never felt before. His lips were
soft, but you felt an explosion as your heart raced as the tension finally
subsided. You didn’t want to, but you pulled away, your eyes wide in
astonishment at what you just did. Zach was equally surprised and you
immediately felt embarrassed. You quickly apologized and quickly retrieved your
bag and ran out of the gym doors leaving Zach still as a statue.
“Crack one more egg,” you instructed, watching Cas carefully crack an egg into the bowl for your cake batter. “Good! Now, we use the mixer and then pour it into the pan and it’ll be ready to bake.”
Cas nodded, grabbing the mixer and turning it on as you held the bowl steady. As soon as the spinning mixer touched the batter, it went splattering everywhere, speckles of batter getting all over you, Cas and the kitchen walls.
“Shit!” you exclaimed, both you and Cas laughing as he turned it off.
“I think you have some on your face,” he teased with a smile, his thumb wiping away some of the batter on your cheek as he locked eyes with you.
“I think you do too,” you said quietly. Your hand reached behind him and dipped into the flour before placing a dot of it on his nose. “Right there.”
Cas went cross-eyed as he stared at the flour at his nose. You giggled and he looked up at you with a smirk, his eyes narrowed in suspicion.
“I know what you’re doing,” he warned, grabbing a handful flour and advancing on you.
You grinned and ran away from him, laughing hysterically as he chased after you and tossed flour at your back. A squeal left your lips when his arms wrapped around your waist from behind and lifted you into the air, twirling you around in a circle.
“Got you,” he said quietly, placing you back on the ground and booping your nose, covering the tip of it with flour.
You grinned widely, wrapping your hand around the back of his neck and pulling him in for a deep kiss. Cas immediately dropped his handful of flour onto the floor, wrapping his arms around you to pull you closer and deepen the kiss.
Dean’s loud voice startled the two of you away from each other, and you turned to see a very angry Dean glaring at you both.
“You two better clean this kitchen,” he warned, pointing his finger at you and Cas. “Friggin’ animals.”
Cas turned to you and smiled as Dean walked away grumbling to himself. “I think we should bake more often.”
You smiled, nuzzling your flour-covered nose with his. “I completely agree.”
….Listen my dudes, idk what to tell you, I’ve never written this pairing before, never really felt that inclined to either… But they wanted to bang…so I let them. Bless my dearest, @pterodactylichexameter for betaing!!
Title: The Bet
Summary: Modern AU, established relationship. Cassian, Az and Mor have somewhere to be and while the boys are up their sleeping beauty is nowhere to be found. Az comes with a novel way of getting her out of bed….NSFW. Sin. Much sin ahead. You’ve been warned.
Teaser: Az’s dejected form isn’t what leaves their bedroom however.
Instead, Cassian freezes in the act of raising his mug to his lips for a drink
when he hears a soft, feminine moan escape. He waits for all of a second before
the mug and half-eaten breakfast are abandoned and he wanders down the corridor
Azriel doesn’t look up from the piece of toast he’s slowly,
precisely, buttering as he hears the unmistakeable sounds of Cassian sloping
into the room behind him. His boyfriend doesn’t stop walking until he crashes,
albeit gently, into Az’s back, jolting him against the counter. His thick,
muscled arms slide easily around his waist and he nuzzles softly at his neck,
still slightly damp from the shower.
“Mm, you smell like Mor,” is Cassian’s dreamy idea of a
mumbled morning greeting.
Az comes as close to grimacing that he ever does at that. “I
think I used her shampoo this morning,” he confesses drily, now tipping coffee
into the mug in front of him. Cassian lets out a gasp of mock horror at this
and withdraws from him as though tainted. He claps him playfully on the shoulder,
“Good luck,” is all he says before he heaves himself up onto the worktop, his
heels knocking gently against the cupboard door.
A soft smile traces Az’s lips as he slides the coffee
towards Cassian who raises the mug in a grateful salute after grabbing it
before taking a long draught. “I don’t think I have to worry about it,” he says
evenly, melting out of the way to let Cassian at the toaster and hob, “She
won’t be coherent enough to notice for a while yet.
Cassian glances over Azriel’s head towards the door of their
bedroom, slightly ajar, revealing the darkness within, then he snorts. “It
looks like the lair of some fell beast,” he observes, casually swiping a piece
of Az’s buttered toast and transferring it to his mouth. Az huffs but doesn’t
protest, considering it a fair trade for the half a pack of bacon Cassian has
just slapped into a pan.
Az makes a business of checking his watch, “At this time of
the morning you’re not far wrong,” he murmurs, ambling to the fridge and
pulling out eggs which he lays on the counter within easy reach of Cassian’s
broad, deft hands.
Cass snorts at that assessment, barely even looking at what
he’s doing as he cracks the eggs and transfers them to a bowl to whisk them up,
“How long do we have before we need to leave?” he asks, eyebrow raised.
“A few hours yet,” Az replies mildly, taking a small sip of
his own coffee, “But she should get up now.”
Cassian snorts again, “You expect her to manage that without
some sort of encouragement?” he demands, “Waking Mor up at this time is like
waking the dead, we’d have an easier time finding a new girlfriend at the
Az just smiles at that, watching his boyfriend work, “Mm,
I’m quite fond of this one, as it happens,” he murmurs quietly.
He’s fully aware that he already has a plan to deal with
their…situation. Cassian never eats his eggs scrambled this way, and his bacon
is always half raw. Sure enough, a few moments later, tipping the eggs into a
frying pan, Cass grins, “Don’t you worry, sweetheart,” he says affectionately,
leaning over and kissing Az on the cheek even as he rolls his eyes at the
petname, ”I have just the thing. She’ll be up in a minute, all bright eyed and
It’s Az’s turn to snort at that. Of the three of them,
Cass is the one most likely to tend towards optimism but even by his standards
that’s stretching the bounds of belief. “Okay fine, she’ll be conscious,” he
amends irritably before waggling a spatula threateningly in Az’s direction, “you
get to take over from there.”
“If you actually manage to get her up I’ll take over from
there,” he promises faithfully, taking another idle sip of his coffee.
“Ha,” Cass grins, “Just you wait, Az, she can never resist
my cooking. Ever.” He reaches past him and swipes the large ‘princess’ mug out
of the cupboard, filling it with coffee from the pot before dumping in a small
mountain of sugar and half of their milk reserves into it with his customary
grimace that anyone would dare besmirch the good name of coffee
the way that Mor does.
Azriel just hums as Cassian starts to load Mor’s breakfast
onto a tray, leaning against the worktop, saying nothing. As he starts to leave
the room however, Mor’s breakfast arranged in the shape of a smiley face with
tomato eyes, a bacon mouth, scrambled egg hair and a spikey toast hat however,
Az dips down and presses a soft kiss to his lips, “Good luck,” he murmurs.
Cassian waves an airy hand, “Oh ye of little faith!” he
huffs irritably as he sets off in the direction of their bedroom.
Azriel waits patiently and he and his lack of faith are
rewarded by a Cassian stomping out of the room five minutes later, caught
somewhere between astonishment and dejection, resolutely munching a piece of
Mor’s toast. “Unbelievable,” he grumbles, looking sincerely crestfallen. “She’s
made of stone, Az, we’re dating a statute, I hope you know that.”
Az just smiles as Cassian helps himself to some of Mor’s
eggs, clearly lamenting their wasteful scrambling. “That was never going to
work,” he says smoothly.
Cassian lets out a good natured growl, now eating a piece of
Mor’s bacon with his fingers. He brandishes it at Az, “I bet you a tenner you
can’t get her out of bed before I can.”
Cass watches as Azriel considers this, can practically hear
the cogs turning in that mysterious, shadowed brain of his. Finally, with a
decisive little nod, he sets down his piece of toast and says, “Deal,” before
padding towards their bedroom.
Blinking, slightly startled by this sudden turn of events he
calls after him, “On this try mind you!” Az just vaguely nods his agreement,
gently pushing open the door at the end of the corridor. What a well meaning
idiot, Cassian muses with a shake of the head, happily stuffing one of Mor’s
tomatoes into his mouth. She doesn’t know what she’s missing, this breakfast
was up to his finest high standards, but Az is taking part in a truly hopeless
mission. Fire-breathing dragons would have been easier and safer to approach
than their Morrigan this morning.
Cassian waits, shovelling down more of Mor’s bacon with what
Az would probably consider indecent enthusiasm. Mor would understand though, he
has to give this breakfast a proper funeral, worthy of her approval. He expects
to see Az slinking back to him, defeated, rummaging irritably in his jeans for
his wallet to offer him the spoils of his victory. He freezes, another piece of
toast halfway to his mouth, loaded with scrambled eggs and dread – if Azriel
fails in this task it’ll be his turn to rouse Mor again…He contemplates this
for a few seconds then shovels the toast and egg into his mouth, deciding it’ll
be worth it. His boyfriend had been so achingly sure of himself and while Cass
doesn’t think that Az’s ego needs to be deflated any more than it already is,
on the other hand he really does like the idea of him coughing up the bet
Cassian waits some more, still devouring Mor’s breakfast,
feeling a slight pang of worry for Az. In her current state, well aimed pillows
might just be lethal, and he’s quite fond of Az’s pretty face…He decides to
give it a few more minutes before launching an emergency rescue operation. Any
second now he’s going to have to kiss that small frown from his beautiful face,
console him even as he delightedly accepts his winnings.
Az’s dejected form isn’t what leaves their bedroom however.
Instead, Cassian freezes in the act of raising his mug to his lips for a drink
when he hears a soft, feminine moan escape. He waits for all of a second before
the mug and half-eaten breakfast are abandoned and he wanders down the corridor
Gently pushing open the door, decorated with Az’s careful,
neat lettering of their names (Cassian’s idea) and the small stick figures in
the top left corner, (a drunken Mor’s contribution) he pauses to properly drink
in the scene. Azriel is kneeling on the floor at the side of their bed, Mor’s
long, golden legs hooked over his shoulders, his head buried between them. Mor
is arching in pleasure, another faint moan spilling from her open lips as her
body bows from the bed. Her hands fist the crisp white sheets, clutching at
them as Az teases her with his tongue.
A/N: This is my submission for @dancingalone21‘s AU Funny Quote Challenge [ x ]. This is an AU, in the fact that Sam and Dean are not hunters. I didn’t really get a chance to specify that in the story, but that’s really all I could think of. I haven’t written anything in a while, so I hope you guys like it. Let me know what you think! ♥
Word Count: 1,529
Warnings: - language.
Tags: (at the end)
*gif is not mine.
It was Sam’s birthday, and you decided last minute to make him a cake - from scratch. You had never baked anything that didn’t come in a box with specific instructions, so you were nervous it would come out horrible. Sam wasn’t one for sweets anyway, but everyone deserved a treat on their birthday, and he was going to eat it if you had to force it down his throat.
Ingredients: Large Spaghetti Squash 2 Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts /cut into strips 2 Eggs /beaten Flour Italian Style Breadcrumbs Marinara Sauce Shredded Mozzarella Cheese Grated Parmesan Cheese Italian Seasoning Salt Pepper Oil for frying
Preparation: With a sharp knife, slice the squash in half. (If the squash is too tough - puncture in several places forming a dotted line around the squash. Microwave for 3-5 minutes to soften. Allow to cool before cutting in half - following the dotted line). Scoop out the seeds - brush with oil, salt, and pepper, - and roast face down in a preheated oven at 375˚F (190˚C) for 35-40 minutes (until a fork can easily pierce the skin).
Meanwhile, slice the chicken breasts into strips. Place flour, beaten egg, and breadcrumbs into three separate bowls. Coat each strip with flour, then egg, and then roll in bread crumbs.
Heat a well-oiled skillet over medium/high heat. Fry the chicken strips (in batches if necessary) until golden brown on all sides and cooked through. Set aside on paper towels.
Once the squash has finished roasting - remove from the oven and let it set for a few minutes before turning over and pulling at it with a fork. Shred the inside of each squash, being careful not to poke through the skin. Pour marinara sauce over shredded squash. Top with chicken strips, then more marinara, and finish with mozzarella and Parmesan cheese, and a pinch of Italian seasoning. Return to the oven to bake for 10-15 minutes until the cheese has melted. Enjoy!
scarecrow and riddler would be the most bizarre parent team in the universe
think uncle montgomery, but like, 15x weirder. aggressively supportive and protective of their kid but expose them to every weird and possibly questionable science and encourage all of their weird interests with 100% genuine support. their kid would be doing advanced math at age 9 and creating formulas and loving weird bugs and reptiles and would love reading and would have a dark sense of humor, would be so well-spoken and able to debate their way through anything they get in trouble for, great con artist with an incredibly unshakeable sense of self-worth and confidence and would be an unstoppable force in whatever they wanted to do
all i can imagine is this tiny child sitting their two notorious supervillain parents down at the table and going on a huge rant about how they should be having cake for dinner and listing off an essay’s worth of reasoning and ed and jon just look at each other and flash forward thirty seconds and they’re all cracking eggs into a bowl
This morning I woke up close to Sirius’ chest. I blinked and looked at the clock. It was 9 am. Was Teddy up? I shook Sirius’ arm to wake him up.
“Pads? It’s 9 am why haven’t we heard Teddy wake up?!” I said, starting to freak out.
“It’s 9 am?! But he should be up at this time!” Sirius said, standing up and running out the door to go check on Teddy.
When he opened our bedroom door, we both sighted with relief. Regulus was in the kitchen making cookies with a giggling Teddy in his high chair.
“Dadda! Padda!” Teddy said when he saw us.
“Wow.. are you guys okay? Looks like you just saw a ghost in there!” Regulus laughed while cracking some eggs in a bowl.
“We thought something was wrong with Teddy.. We didn’t hear him wake up..” Sirius said.
“Oh.. Well I picked him up when he woke up. We had a lot of fun, did we Teddy?” Regulus smiled, looking in Teddy’s way.
Teddy nodded and giggled. He was sitting in his high chair with both of his Padfoot and Moony stuffed animals beside him.
“Well, we’re gonna go back to bed and cuddle.. We haven’t had great sleep the past few days.. You two have fun.” Sirius said, winking at me.
He dragged me in our room and playfully pushed me on the bed.
“Well look who got themselves a babysiter!” Sirius laughed while kissing my lips.
“Mhmm..” I mumbled.
“What’s wrong love?” Sirius frowned.
“Teddy didn’t get his goodmorning kiss..” I said.
“Oh baby.. He’s with Regulus, look how happy he was.. You can give him a kiss later. Now i’m the one who wants a kiss! We barely had time to ourselves!” Sirius said.
“Are you jealous of Teddy taking most of my attention?” I laughed.
“No! I just want to be with you!” He laughed too.
“Cuddle me then.” I said, putting my arms around his bare chest.
“I’m tired.. Let’s go back to sleep..” He yawned, getting under the soft covers.
And we drifted off to sleep again only to be woken up by small hands on our cheeks a few hours later. It was Teddy. He was sitting in the fluffy sheets, looking so small as always. He was softly brushing his tiny hands on our cheeks to wake us up. Sirius hadn’t shave in a few days so Teddy was giggling at Sirius’ scrachy beard.
“Hey Teddy bear! C'mere and give dadda a hug.” I said, taking his little figure in my arms.
“Dadda.” He mumbled.
When he hugged me, i heared his little giggles in my ear. Merlin he was adorable. Sirius was still asleep so Teddy and I tickled him.
“Padda!” Teddy said, his tiny fingers tickling Sirius.
“Hmm.. is it already morning!” Sirius said, jokingly to make Teddy laugh.
And it worked. His contagious laugh brightened up the room. He always had a smile on his face.
“Where’s Regulus Ted?” Sirius asked.
Teddy’s mouth was shapped in a “o” and he put his hands on his mouth to hide the giggles.
Regulus jumped from under the bed which scared us but it made Teddy laugh.
Sirius grabbed Teddy and started tickling him. He was laughing and yelling. Suddently the phone rang and Regulus ran to get it in the kitchen.
“Who could that be?” Sirius asked.
Regulus came back with his mouth open.
“Boys.. Guess who just rushed to the hospital because his girlfriends water broke..” Regulus said.
“JAMES AND LILY?!” Sirius and I yelled at the same time.
Intro: So this monster of a fic I wrote literally in the past 24 hours in response to @whatif-animagineblog ‘s post about Leonard’s laugh. Read it here.
I do still have drabbles to write and my Kirk series to finish but of course I needed to write this first. The fic doesn’t necessarily focus on the laugh, but it is in there and did make me smile. I hope it makes you smile too.
Pairing: Bones x reader
Word Count: 2870
Summary: So basically the reader and Bones end up making a mess in the kitchen, the reader ending up making Bones laugh (wheeze and snort) after he has had a stressful day. A little sweet love at the end. Very fluffy. Much fluff.
The bottom line was that you wanted to bake a cake. That’s literally all you wanted to do and unfortunately being on a starship in the middle of space made it extremely difficult. So you snuck into the kitchens after hours and were ecstatic to find the ingredients you needed.
The truth was, you weren’t very good at baking, but when you set your mind to something, it got done, whether or not it was a complete disaster.
So you gathered your ingredients and started pouring, using a recipe that you pulled up on your PADD. You put on some music, letting the upbeat tunes fill the small room, making you unbelievably happy.
“What are you doing?"
You jumped 10 feet up in the air, knocking the flour bag over, spilling it all over the counter-top and onto the floor. You had not expected anyone to find you in here.
You spun around, your heart beating so hard you thought it was going to jump out of your chest and you now saw the source of the voice was the Chief Medical Officer, and your best friend, Leonard McCoy.
"Len! Fuck! You scared me.” You set the spoon in the bowl and tried to catch your breath, shutting off the music.
Leonard walked over to you, chuckling lowly, “Sorry, darlin’, I thought you heard me come in.”
He neared you, pulling your adrenaline-filled form to his chest briefly, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head before releasing you and inspecting the mess you were making.