egg cases

There are no elegant ways to describe someone getting kicked in the donk, but here I am, and there it is.

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Diamond City’s littlest detectives

Mermaid’s Purse - Catshark Egg Case

Many species of catshark (family: Scyliorhinidae) lay eggs in tough egg cases known as mermaid’s purses. These cases have curly tendrils that tangle around objects to prevent them from floating away.

The gestation period of the egg can range from a few months to over a year, depending on the species and water temperature. If held against a light source, the developing embryo can easily be seem.

Sander van der Wel via Flickr

Foodstuffs in Morrowind and What They Taste Like

Ash Yams:  “Ash yam is a tough tuberous root vegetable…”

  These taste like sweet potatoes, although very grainy and with a tough outer skin that outlanders peel off before eating because it is both tough and bitter.  A true Dunmer would never dream of peeling off this skin.  They like it.

Bread:  

   Very common food, very basic.  Generally cooked in a wood-burning oven, the texture is baguette-like and extremely crusty.  The flavor itself is bland but palatable.  The amount of salt added to the dough depends on the region; water-rich areas tend to eat saltier bread.

Comberry:  "The comberry is a bush that produces a bitter berry, best known as the basis of the native comberry brandy, a rough but potent alcoholic beverage of Morrowind…”

   Similar in flavor to an unripe mulberry.  Except incredibly bitter, like you-just-licked-the-spout-of-a-well-used-Keurig bitter.  It sweetens during the fermentation process, however not by much.

Crab Meat"The mudcrab native to Vvardenfell is prized for its sweet crab meat…”

   Because mudcrabs are, at their smallest, the size of a large chihuahua, they usually produce enough meat to feed a modest family of three (elves don’t have many children).  Though all mudcrap meat is tough and chewy, the younger the crab the more tender the meat.

Hackle-Lo Leaf:  "Hackle-lo leaf is a tasty edible succulent leaf…”

   One of the most common vegetables eaten on Vvardenfell.  Though its shape and texture are similar to a fat kale leaf, its properties are more similar to a squash.  When left uncooked, it has a crispness and flavor like a cucumber.  Cooked, it tastes like sauteed zucchini.  Its versatility with spice and other foods is why it is preferred over other vegetables.

Hound Meat:  "Hound meat is the flesh of the nix-hound. The meat is sweet and tender…”

   Most similar to beef.  Nix-Hounds are much, MUCH leaner than cows, however, and so the meat they produce has a very low fat content.  Maybe that’s why all the Dunmer are so thin?  Or maybe they are constantly burning calories by scowling all the time?  Nirn may never know.

Kwama Eggs:  "Kwama eggs are a rich, nutritious foodstuff…”

  Large kwama eggs are the size of ostrich eggs, and small kwama eggs are the size of bigger-than-average-jumbo chicken eggs.  Whatever the case they’re bigger than a chicken egg, and if you wanted to scramble them for breakfast you’d just have to crack one open for a heaping plate.  The taste is yolky, but the yolk-to-albumen ratio is pretty even.  A waxier texture, it squeaks on your teeth when eaten.

Marshmerrow"The sweet pulp of marshmerrow reeds is a delectable foodstuff…”

   Fruity and sweet, it is served both raw and cooked.  The taste is honestly kinda like a marshmallow (believe it or not), but with an almost peachy undertone.  The raw, watery pulp is eaten with a spoon, but when cooked, it’s eaten with a fork.  To use the wrong utensil is a grave social mistake, as is every other action done by outlanders.  Like existing.

Rat Meat:  "Rat meat is tough and greasy, with an unpleasant odor and taste. Nonetheless, it is cheap, abundant, and nutritious, and palatable when cooked in a stew and masked by strong strong spices.”

   Texture is most like pork.  Eating rat meat in a stew is like eating the little meatballs in Spaghetti-O’s; you can eat it just fine when you don’t think about it.  It has high tryptophan content, so it makes you sleepy, just like eating turkey does.

Saltrice:  “Saltrice is another of the tasty and nutritious foodstuffs…”

   Though fibrous, it becomes easier to chew the longer you cook it, often by boiling (Dunmer need their colons cleansed, too).  Similar in flavor to cabbage, it is eaten both raw and cooked, usually as an additive to stews.

Scrib Jelly:   “…Crushed scribs produce a nutritious but sour-tasting gelatin… that the natives eat with gusto.”

   This is nothing like sweet pectin fruit jellies.  It’s like pork-bone-yellow-nasty-meat-gelatin.  But the coagulative properties come from the chitin (pronounced KITE-in) shell of scribs.  They don’t have bones.  It’s definitely an acquired taste, and it does grow on you with each successive mouthful.  The texture is like that of thick refried beans, and the flavor is that of mild buttermilk.

Scrib Jerky:  “Scribs cut into strips and dried in the sun are called scrib jerky… tastes scarcely worse when spoiled than when fresh, and are a practical foodstuff for the hardy native traveler.”

   Very chewy, very dry.  But all around not bad.  One of the most versatile foods in terms of flavors, it ranges from sweet to savory.  Scrib jerky produced in traditional dry-rub methods is incredibly salty and rather spicy, and is eaten regularly among the ashlanders.  In modern cities, the meat is marinated first in a usually sweet sauce, and it produces a more tender jerky, but it doesn’t last as long.

Scuttle:  “Scuttle is Vvardenfell’s favorite local dish. This cheese-like, greasy substance made from the flesh of local beetles is remarkably tasty…”

      Eaten with a knife and fork, it is generally reserved for those in the upper class, though all but the poorest Dunmer will find a way to eat it at least twice a year on special occasions.  A robust dish, it is comparable in texture to paneer.  The flavor is spicy, and it tastes like a Masala dish. 

Trama Root:  "A calming tea with modest magical properties is brewed from the thick, bitter-tasting root of the trama shrub…”

   Most similar in taste to Oolong tea.  Almost a smokey flavor, but definitely a woody undertone.  Perhaps more like an overtone.  No one eats the trama root itself, except for confused and inferior outlanders.  But the tea is good and is drank throughout the day, especially in the evening.

I’M ON A HIIIIIGH WAY TO EGG GEM HELL

And it’s all gemshippingtrash‘s fault like I somehow wandered onto their blog and BAM GEM EGGS and I was pulled into it all. And because it’s adorable (and sad but idc I do what I want) and because I’m otp/ot3 trash I did a thing and Jasper is just stupidly proud of all these gems like just wipe that smug grin off your face you’re all trash for this